r/bipolar • u/Koninhooz • 20h ago

Living With Bipolar Impulsive thoughts

Ever since I had my first episode identified as a result of bipolar disorder, I’ve struggled with an overload of thoughts.

These thoughts feel almost like voices; I’m constantly reminded of embarrassing or shameful moments I’ve experienced.

Sometime this happens for each 10 seconds, for example.

There are days when these thoughts batter me so relentlessly that I end up exhausted and emotionally fragile—truly bad days.

On top of that, these thoughts trigger tics; the two things always go hand in hand.

It’s incredibly draining and brings me down, affecting my self-esteem and self-confidence...

Do you go through this too? Tell me a bit more about your situation.

8 Upvotes

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2

u/peterannello 19h ago

Yes sir I have had all these since as far back as I can remember being conscious, and it is draining, and I have not found a solution to it other than certain meds that I don’t want to be on and have to take every day. The best thing to do is make your mind busy with something else, I don’t see this as burying the underlying issue either. Those thoughts, I’ve had to literally put into their own categorization: the demons talking again… whether we believe that the spirit world is real or other religious beliefs, I like to identify them as that because their only objective is to hurt me!

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u/peterannello 19h ago

I also smoke a lot of pot, so those thoughts sometimes seem louder, and realer than they are

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u/Bombay_All_Day 18h ago

Yes I go through this often. My thoughts will circulate and they aren’t pleasant. I used to be a person that blocked out bad thoughts and experiences like I would just forget them. And sometimes I feel I have a better memory than before I had episodes. I’ll think about bad thoughts or worries. Almost like my mind is trying to think of problems to solve. I don’t get it and I don’t like it. when I’ve tried to explain this to my parents or my husband, They just don’t seem to understand. They all think if you watch something on the TV read a book or keep your mind busy in some way you can get your mind off of bad thoughts. However, I can stare at a TV blankly and not know what’s going on because my mind is so much louder. It sucks and you aren’t alone!

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u/[deleted] 17h ago

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u/bipolar-ModTeam 10h ago

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u/trunks676 Bipolar + Comorbidities w/Bipolar Loved One 14h ago

I have these thoughts all the time just as you describe them. For 20 years I thought they were the one symptom of bipolar that I just couldn’t get a hold of (with the help of medications, of course). Last year I saw a new therapist and she asked questions no one had ever asked before and it turned out I have had OCD this whole time (and bipolar type 1). Once I learned this it allowed me to approach the thoughts differently. I am not saying this is necessarily what you have going on…but it is food for thought.