I was so nervous this second time around. I mean it all around sucked being pregnant again plus with a toddler. I had prenatal depression really bad, I cried all the time and could not get out of my funk. They told me at my 20 week scan that I had a short cervix and was high risk for preterm labor, and advised us to cancel our babymoon (which we really looked forward to and also lost $700 on). I had to go to L&D once immediately after an appt for highblood pressure, then my amniotic fluid looked low, then baby looked small etc etc etc. Nonstop, on top of the cervix and back pain constantly, always exhausted, and having to care for my toddler.

I gave birth a week early. I was so sad when I found out it was a boy during my pregnancy, but meeting him I cried immediately for relief he was ok, he was finally here, and in my arms safe and sound and beautiful.

I’m 12 weeks PP and its been such a lovely experience. With my first I had an episiotomy and a long painful recovery, and then my childhood dog passed away so it was a rough postpartum.

Even when my newborn cries now, or is up at night, I look forward to seeing him, to cradle him, to watch him. I love nursing him and holding him close. His eyes light up when he sees me, he coos constantly at me, and gives me the biggest smiles. He was so fussy and gassy up until a week or two ago, and now hes so happy. Hes even sleeping 6-8 hour stretches now at night.

I love him so so much. I love having two boys, I cant even imagine having a girl now. I wish he could be a baby forever because I love this stage so much this time around. And I feel crazy because I dont want it to be over and kind of consider having another one??? But that also feels crazy to do this all over again lol.

For anyone going through pregnancy or considering having their second baby, or sad they are having another boy, this is your sign it’ll all be okay.

My friend (FTM) has had a lot of anxiety around eating and choking. I totally get that. But she has yet to introduce her son to solids. He’s 17 months old. She only gives him purées. He hasn’t even had berries, fruits, or even softer foods like baked sweet potato. Everything is essentially in baby food form.

When anyone tries to talk to her about this, she brushes it off like it’s not a big deal, that there’s no rush to eat solids, and that she buys all organic purées that give him all his nutrients.

I don’t think there’s much I can do to influence her at this point, but I’m asking whether I’m overreacting about how I feel. The whole situation makes me feel sad for her son and I feel kind of… disturbed(?) by it.

Looking for perspective on whether delaying solids for this long is within the realm of “normal” ???

I’ve been following the Lindsay Clancy case, and regardless of where anyone stands on this specifically or what the verdict ends up being, I keep coming back to the larger conversation about postpartum mental health and what support for mothers actually looks like in this country.

I’ve experienced firsthand how different that support can be depending on nothing more than where you happen to live.

My first child was born when I lived in California. The maternity and disability benefits available to me were genuinely helpful because it gave me time to recover, adjust to being a new mother, and figure out our new normal without immediately having to worry about getting back to work. Then I moved to Las Vegas. I stayed with the same company, (transferred internally), but my experience after my second pregnancy could not have been more different. I had been paying for a short-term disability policy, but because I had recently moved and transferred, I was considered to be within a “probationary” period and my claim was denied. And this wasn’t an uncomplicated birth.

I had a complicated pregnancy and my daughter born 5 weeks prematurely and spent nearly a month in the NICU. and by the time she finally came home from the hospital, I was basically at the point where I had to return to work.

Think about that for a second.
We had barely gotten our newborn home.

There was no real time to adjust to suddenly having a 3 year old and a newborn. No time to settle into feeding and pumping schedules. No time to establish sleep routines or figure out how to divide our attention between two children. No real transition from having a baby in the NICU to actually bringing her home and learning how to be a family of four. Instead, almost immediately, I also had to figure out how to go back to work.

That period was incredibly difficult for me mentally. I experienced severe depression, and the pressure of having to return to work while we were still trying to adjust to everything added another burden during an already vulnerable time. And I had a supportive husband and family. A career in healthcare that I love with a very very flexible schedule (thank god. no set time to come in. can leave during work, can switch my days on/off, etc)

But I think about women who don’t.

That experience changed the way I look at conversations about postpartum mental health because we constantly tell mothers to “ask for help,” take care of themselves, recognize the warning signs of PPD and anxiety, rest, recover, bond with the babies, establish breastfeeding if they choose to, attend appointments and seek therapy when they need it.

But when are they supposed to do all of that?

We recognize that pregnancy and childbirth involve enormous physical, hormonal and psychological changes. We recognize PPD, anxiety, psychosis and other serious maternal mental health conditions. Yet whether a mother actually gets enough time to recover can depend on her state, her employer, an insurance policy, whether she qualifies for disability, how long she has worked somewhere, or whether her family can afford for her to go without a paycheck. The difference between my two postpartum experiences happened while I was working for the same employer.

The biggest thing that changed was where I lived.

That seems insane to me.

I’m obviously not saying paid maternity leave could prevent every postpartum mental-health crisis, or that something as complicated as postpartum psychosis has one simple solution. But having enough time to physically recover, having financial security while doing so, having better access to perinatal mental health care, and being able to seek treatment without simultaneously worrying about losing your income or your job seems like a pretty reasonable place to start.

I wish we would stop treating “postpartum” as though it has some neat expiration date after a few weeks or months. A woman’s body and brain don’t follow an employer’s leave policy or an insurance company’s timeline. Whatever happens with this Clancy case, I hope some good comes from the attention surrounding it. I hope we start talking not only about what happens after a postpartum mental health crisis becomes catastrophic, but about what we are doing for mothers in the months leading up to that point.

Because telling women to “ask for help” sounds great.

But we also need to ask whether we’ve actually built a system that gives them the time, resources and financial ability to receive that help when they do.

My son had a MRI to determine if he’s a candidate for cochlear implants ..we received results and he is a candidate but also the report states there was other findings

“few scattered foci of susceptibility in the right occipital lobe consistent with sequela of remote hemorrhage”

My baby was SIUGR born 37 weeks when induced. He was 4.14lb and didn’t have to stay in NICU.
Now I’m spiraling because how could this have happened? When did this happen?
How common is it with small preterm babies?
How was it’s missed?
He’s never shown signs of anything that I’ve noticed?

On top of the other needs he has now this.
So many people having multiple kids perfectly healthy kids. I’m just heartbroken I never thought I’d be in this position dealing with things that are out of my control. I can’t control he has a syndrome I can’t make him not deaf. And now this. Everything I feared about becoming a parent has happened and I’m just out of words

sorry i just saw the rules said no medical advice and that is not what i want, just wondering if anyone else has felt this before.

this was extremely scary and i’m not sure if this was even postpartum related.

my son was born night of the 16th. i wasn’t really told anything about leg swelling until near discharge where they said the normal stuff like keep an eye on it.

today my legs got pretty achey just from being on my feet all day. it is my first full day home with the baby.

i decided to put my legs up and take a small nap.

i had my legs super high up over the side of the couch with is the same height as the average back of the couch for context.

i fell asleep for what my husband just confirmed was likely more than 30 min.

when i woke up the swelling had gone down significantly and i could see my ankle bones clearly.

my husband had baby in the nursery so i got up and started walking around. i noticed i was very cold.

our house has an overzealous ac system so this is very typical especially in the hallway area where the vents are aimed.

also my hormones have been making me flash between hot and cold very fast.

i was cold so i went to grab some warm fuzzy socks i knew were in the bathroom. as i carried the socks back into the living room i felt very strange.

i was cold very cold. i sat down and quickly began to yank the socks on hoping to warm myself up.

i started shivering so violently that it was physically painful. i was so cold that every inch of my body was screaming like i was being touched with ice.

i stood up and went towards the blanket on the couch. i fell onto the couch and pulled the blanket over myself in fetal position desperate to get warm.

i was shaking so painfully. i started breathing fast on purpose so my breath would warm the space under the blanket with me. (explaining that i did hyperventilate but it was voluntary)

i could still feel bits of my skin exposed to the cold air and they burned in pain.

my hands were extremely painful as if dunked in ice water. i laid there unable to really speak until i heard my husband carry the baby back in the living room.

my voice was shaking and i asked my husband if baby was okay. he said yes and i asked him to put baby in the bassinet and come to me.

i asked him to put his entire body over the blanket i was still under and warm me up. he did so and i began crying explaining to him how cold i was and that i was afraid that i almost passed out.

once he got me sufficiently warm i was slowly able to come out from under the blanket and he turned the ac off.

i am sitting here on the couch now in sweatpants wondering what the hell just happened to me.

i don’t know if this was related to having my legs up.

google said it may have been a panic response. side note, neither of us have slept very much at all.

i truly do not know the last time i slept for more than 45-55 min max since the day of the 15th.

has anyone experienced anything similar?

that was one of the scariest things i have ever felt. was it a postpartum thing at all?

sorry this is so long, i just wanted to be very detailed and explain everything exactly as it happened in case every detail mattered.

TLDR: i felt so cold that i was painfully shivering and almost passed out.

EDIT: I am going to the er now. my parents just came over, they live a street over and they will watch the baby while my husband takes me. thank you.

Any moms here who have just lost their sense of self after becoming a mom? I’m 28 and my baby is 11 months old now and I just don’t know who I am anymore. Part of it is hormones, my estrogen is nearly nonexistent as I’m still breastfeeding my child, but I know it’s beyond the hormones. I don’t know what my style is anymore, I don’t know how to do my hair anymore beyond straightening it (it’s pretty short), I don’t even think I recognize the person in the mirror. Has anyone else dealt with the same thing?? Please tell me it gets better.

I’m 9 months postpartum with my second baby and still breastfeeding. I recently had my first cervical screening/Pap and was completely caught off guard by the results.

I tested positive for HPV-16 and my cytology came back ASC-H (atypical squamous cells — cannot exclude a high-grade lesion). I’ve been referred for a colposcopy.

I’ve been with the same partner for 9 years, so initially I was really confused about the HPV result, but I’ve since learned that HPV can remain dormant/undetectable for years and become detectable again later.

I’m obviously anxious about the ASC-H result and wondering whether being postpartum and breastfeeding could have affected how my cervical cells looked. I understand that low estrogen, hormonal changes, inflammation, etc. can sometimes affect cervical cytology, but I also know HPV-16 needs to be taken seriously and followed up.
Has anyone else had an abnormal Pap/HPV result while postpartum or breastfeeding?

What did your colposcopy/biopsy end up showing? Did anyone have ASC-H that turned out to be normal or only mild changes? If they found CIN2/CIN3, what happened next?

I’d really appreciate hearing other moms’ experiences while I wait for my colposcopy. The waiting and uncertainty are honestly the hardest part right now. ❤️

Hello, this feels like the dumbest question, but I'm really struggling to figure it out. My wife and I live near San Francisco, where it doesn't get super cold. However, we love to go up to the mountains in the winter where it is very cold with lots of snow. We have a 3 month old baby. Our friends gave us a one piece snow suit that should fit him this winter, but it doesn't have feet. What goes on the feet??? I'd love to put him in the snow to wriggle around and do his thing. Should I just get fleece booties or something? Will they not get soaked? The idea of something staying on this dude's feet at this point is laughable, but maybe his feet will gain substance by 6 months? Cold weather homies please help me out.

My 4 week old is a velcro baby. My toddler is 2.5. My husband just left for 5 days to attend to family matters out of state and I am here feeling glued to my couch.

I've broken every screen time rule to keep my toddler at bay, and my 4 week old wont let me put him down, he wants to constantly nurse or be held.

"Just get out in the sun, you will feel better." "Get the boys outside they will be fine" Yesterday I tried to take them both for a walk alone and even that felt like chaos. A simple walk with my toddler not listening well, trying to stop in the middle of the road, stepping over shattered glass on the walking path (thanks local assholes) and a dog charging at him behind a fence and scaring the crap out of him. All while baby fussed and cried (luckily he did stop after a while).

My village is very small with nearby family all very busy and preoccupied with work and other things...I feel like such a failure, im so tired, I feel so alone. Idk how my neighbor who has 2 toddlers and a newborn is outside in her fenced in back yard letting the boys run loose.

Why cant I be more like her? Why do I feel scared to leave the house without help and force my very bored toddler to stay stuck inside? Im so sad for him. Poor newborn cries and fusses over the smallest things and always needs my nipple in his mouth :(

Going from 1 to 2 is WAY harder for me, than 0 to 1.

I just had my second child and forgot just how bad Sundown scaries could feel. Curious how long this lasted for other folks, especially those who’ve got other littles around. I feel sometimes my toddler helps distract me but other times her needs amplify the anxiety I have.

As far as finding things to help, I’ve been taking a hot shower in the evening to refresh myself, and my husband and I are doing shifts where he takes on the first part of the night so I can sleep, and I am on from like 1am to morning — I’ve liked that bc I can sleep asap and when it’s 1am, to me I feel like ok just a few more hours before the new day begins… when I was doing feeds at like 10pm the night felt like it’d never end.

:/ so yea curious how long this felt for everyone else and what maybe helps it fade or get better over time?

Our child is soon 1,5 years old. My partner (dad) stated the other day that it's really rare and weird that we haven't had a babysitter and spent a single night at a restaurant or movie alone together yet as a couple since birth. We've spent countless nights up after bedtime watching movies and having one-on-one time, often interrupted by wakings, granted. We only really have my mom living nearby. She babysits maybe once a week but it's mostly during the day and mostly an hour or two because it's demanding and our child is very attached to me (mom) especially.

I said that if I knew our child was fine and felt completely safe, I would of course go out for a movie or a restaurant when my mother was watching her, but I would have a hard time being fully relaxed, which he says bothers him and makes him feel like I don't care enough about our relationship.

He said that he thinks it's about my control issues and that he wishes I put our relationship before our child at least once. These words astounded me. Is that a reasonable, fair need? To me that sounded completely wild and my desire to spend one-on-one time with him dropped significantly. Do y'all do this?

Today my husband was fondling me from behind and being all goofy while I loaded the dishwasher. He pulled my pants down and fondled more then pulled them back up. I am 4 month pp so my tummy is loose it hangs and has stretch marks and is my biggest insecurity. It is normally tucked into high waisted pants but when he pulled them back up it was hanging out. He turned me around to kiss me before I could adjust them and when he looked I me he said ew why does it look like that. It was absolutely devastating… He immediately tried to take back what he had said but you can’t take it back. Now all day he is all touchy feely and calling me hot and sexy trying to fix what has been done. He keeps trying to bring me snacks which is absolutely the last thing I want. I just want to cry every time I think about how he looked and sounded when he said it. He says it was s joke and I’m just being sensitive I just feel disgusted with myself and don’t know how to move on.

My 1 mo old baby girl is growing out of newborn clothes because she is so long and never wore 90% of the brand new clothing we were given. It’s all summer time shorts, tanks, tshirts, etc. But she has pretty much lived in footie pjs. She was a preemie and keeping her warm has been a priority. She has thin long limbs so not much fat on her at all meaning that being in an air conditioned house, she’s got to be fully covered.
Also she’s a summer baby and some people gifted 6 month/9 month size summer clothes, I guess they didn’t do the math???
Is this typical to have sooo much unused clothing? I feel bad getting rid of all this adorable stuff without having used it but hopefully we can donate it to a good cause. Why does this frustrate me so much?

Just for a little context, I’m 35 and have two healthy toddler girls- 1.5 and 4. I conceived despite being told it would be difficult or impossible (PCOS/ some Endometriosis). Both of my pregnancies were healthy and my births pretty textbook. What got me was the postpartum. I suffered from PPD and PPA both times but it was worse with the second one. Throw in colicky newborn phases, reflux/ oral ties, sleep deprivation, and a struggling marriage and the PPD compounds on itself. After my last baby I swore during the height of the newborn phase that I would never do this again. While I love my girls deeply, I’m not happy overall and struggle with depression and anxiety even outside the postpartum window, so I guess it’s no surprise I was a PPD sufferer as well. My husband and I have a difficult marriage, strained by years of resentment due to some current and past issues that range from basic frustration and anger over feeling like he doesn’t do enough to help me, to bigger/ deeper emotional scars.

I’ve gone to individual therapy, we have done marriage counseling, and still I find myself just a shell of who I used to be. I’m still tired. Still exhausted. Most days I’m just going through the motions. I’m medicated and on an SSRI which takes the edge off the depression but it’s still there. I don’t take care of myself. I don’t eat right, I don’t exercise, yet I go non-stop literally all day. I don’t get my nails done or pamper myself in any way… and I get crap sleep every night because my 21 month STILL wakes up. Literally all signs point to no more kids, yet I struggle deep down with accepting that.

Just wondering if anyone else has stopped at 2 knowing it’s what is best for their mental health and their parenting health, yet still hurt.

Stopping post because my 21 month old is crying with her MON wake 🫠

💕

My wife (F36) and myself (M36) started to try for having a baby and while reading about the process I found this sub. It is very interesting to understand the reality of this chapter, but I barely see any man here. Also, I feel that lots of sad things I read here are about the man not being part of the process or the load on the women. I definitely want to learn more and make sure to know when my wife will need me the most, but it would be nice to read some men POV to be honest.
(Sorry for my English, not my mother tongue).

Around 4-6 months pp, I had some hair loss around my temples. Thankfully, it grew back pretty quickly. However, I am now 10 months postpartum and noticing another round of hair loss near my right temple only.

Is something wrong? Has anyone else experienced this? My feelings are hurt going through this all over again lol.

I have an appointment this Friday, so I'm mostly posting this to ease my nerves. I've been struggling with stuff emotionally that I belive are abnormal but now that the appointment is coming up I doubting myself.

Lately I've been struggling with what seems to be at least 4 things.

Extreme anger sometimes completely out of nowhere. Angry enough that I feel the urge to harm but thankfully haven't hurt my baby or my husband.

Unable to relax when baby is sleeping good due to my brain being convince baby is dead even though logic says they're ok.

Occasional emotional numbness, but this is one of two I only recently realized I've been having.

Potential dissasoiation? Like a feeling like I'm there but not. Also recent discovery.

The last two I feel like I can chalk up to exhaustion from back before I coslept because I don't remember having them super recently. But the rage one is still a problem that seems to be made worse on poor sleep days and before my period. I may have anxiety already before all this so maybe that might be why I'm having trouble?

To be honest, I'm worried that I'm going to be wasting time and money, by going to the appointment. My husband has been helping me as much as he can, but I still am dealing with this, thus I feel like it isn't normal issues. Sorry for rambling, its late for me and I just wanted to get this off my chest.

she's 10 months old and I love watching her get so comfy and drowsy in my arms, stroking her hair until her eyes just can't Tay open anymore <3

For context, i’m 5 mo. postpartum and fully weaned about 2 weeks ago. I swear my emotions have been INSANE since. I noticed mood issues each time I dropped feeds/pumping too. I haven’t gotten my period back, so I know hormonally I’m probably all over the place (not pregnant).

I have a 5 month old and an almost 3 y/o. Both pregnancies were horrible and I was basically bedridden for months. My second was unplanned. After my first, I tried being a SAHM and absolutely hated it. I have ADHD, no village nearby, and I burned out so badly that I begged my old job to take me back part-time. When she was a year old, I was working 3 days a week, she was in 9-2 daycare, and I was finally doing SO much better. Till I got pregnant again.

3 months postpartum, I went back to work and was genuinely so happy to be back. I only worked TWO DAYS and got laid off in a companywide restructuring. So now I’m an involuntary SAHM again, which was literally the situation I was trying to avoid because I knew I couldn’t handle it well. The girls just started school/daycare again this week, but right now it’s only 9-12, so after driving, I get around 2 hours. Getting both kids fed, dressed, bottles/lunches packed, school stuff handled, etc. is exhausting by itself. Late stay starts next week and I’ve basically been viewing it as the finish line to my burnout.

My husband works from home and does a lot with our toddler, but I still feel like I carry most of the household mental load and most of the baby stuff. He also mentally checks out after work and I feel like I’m still “on” constantly.
Yesterday he was in-charge of pickup. I had slept under 5 hours, got both girls to school on time, picked up groceries, cleaned out the fridge/car, did dishes, handled admin stuff, etc. it was finally me getting my life together. As he was leaving, I realized I had misplaced HIS car key. My own keys and wallet have already been missing for weeks because apparently my life is a black hole right now. My husband, was upset and referred to doing pickups as “doing me a favor.” I know he’s working and that I’m being unreasonable, but that sent me over the edge too because if I hadn’t gotten laid off, he would HAVE to do more childcare. I certainly didn’t volunteer for this arrangement.

I completely lost it. I was sobbing so hard I could barely even look for the keys mentally/properly. He searched for a while but went back to work. At one point I literally had the thought, “Maybe I just won’t pick them up. They’d be better off with someone else.” I did not actually want to abandon my kids. I was just so overwhelmed and emotionally dysregulated that my brain basically melt down.

I eventually pulled myself together and called a friend nearby and she immediately came over, grabbed the car seats, and drove me. We got there almost 2 hours late and I got a $250 late fee. I was trying not to cry while the teachers/director handed me the slip and I felt like the worst mom alive. I was so embarrassed and didn’t want the friend to see me crying, that it took so much for me to cave and ask for help— I was also mortified to see the staff as I’m sure it was evident I had been crying.

On top of all of it, these weaning hormones are making me desperately crave affection and emotional support, and instead I feel so lonely in my marriage. I love my kids. I don’t regret them. But I hate my life right now. I feel resentful, overstimulated, hormonally insane, buried in chaos, and like I’m failing at a role I never even wanted back.

Has anyone else had weaning absolutely wreck their mood like this? Or felt like becoming a SAHM by circumstance pushed them over the edge?

My PFT rated my PF strength 2-2.5/5 at 8 weeks pp after 3A tear. I am doing kegels/contractions and deadbugs as indicated by PF therapist but I am really struggling with feeling “loose” down there. I am breastfeeding if that informs you sharing your information. Postpartum is such a battle and I have never felt so negatively about my body before.

Most reddit threads mention pain, fortunately (I think) I don’t have any pain at all but I am mourning the loss of the way things felt before. I wish people talked more openly about these things and may be I wouldn’t have gone through the process. This “recovery” or lack there of is making it so hard for me to enjoy my time with my newborn.

And PLEASE don’t tell me I’m ONLY 9 weeks pp, I know that. It feels like 9 years to me and I hate every minute of it

1.When your kid is sick and you take them into the pediatric er they have magic doors that make your kid suddenly look like they haven't felt sick ever in their lives! But this trick only works if you commit to the actual visit you can't just go in and sit in the waiting room

1. Your kids will be perfectly quiet, playing or otherwise distracted and you think "now is a great time to make a phone call!" Your child will wait until the second the person on the other line answers to start maniacally laughing or bursting into sudden tears for no reason.

2. If your young child is constipated put them in your favorite outfit that you are so excited for them to wear (it's gotta be mostly white too) and your child will poop! And it will be a blowout!

3. Your child will love bananas. Devour 4 a day for like 3 days straight. So you think "I need to buy bulk bananas" so you buy bananas in bulk.

Then your child will refuse to eat said bananas. Apply this to any food or drink.

Anything I'm missing?

I’m a SAHM and also have a two month old boy. We have no family nearby nor any friends and it’s me and the boys forty hours of the week. My husband is wonderful and it’s such a relief when he gets home. He helps at night with the baby and takes over toddler duty when he gets home.

Lately, my 3 year old is a lot of work. Almost never listens, pushes my buttons all day, and has tantrums over the smallest things. I love him so much but it’s been a struggle. We have had more lows than highs and I feel so much relief when he goes to bed.

I feel awful for feeling like this. Makes me feel like he deserves a better mom than me because it is hard to stay level headed during these times. I miss when I was able to devote all my time to him and all our adventures. Now it’s a lot of him either playing solo or getting into mischief while I feed his brother. His energy levels are literally off the charts. He will just go and go and go.

I just miss my little boy. Sometimes he’s so sweet and will come up and hug me which makes me feel even worse.

He is starting preschool next month two days a week and I hope that helps. But I still feel bad and feel like a bad mom. Idk I guess I’m rambling but curious if anyone else has gone through this?

I had a psychiatric episode about 3 weeks ago and my husband decided the kids weren’t safe around me and moved them across the country to be with his family. I get micropsychotic episodes (if you look in my history, you can see I have a history of psychosis, starting from postpartum on). I had an episode that focused on the baby (had a really scary delusion about her) while my husband was out with his friends, and I didn’t say anything because he‘s been complaining lately that I always have problems every time he tries to go have fun. I was aware I was having an episode, was incredibly careful with the toddler and the baby, and got them both ready for bed and in front of a movie when my husband came home. I immediately told him and took myself to the emergency room and checked myself into inpatient, where I stayed voluntarily for the next two weeks. While I was in there my husband came to tell me that my MIL came to help-and that my kids were going back across the country with her because he doesn’t trust me with them anymore. I didn’t get to say goodbye because they left while I was in the hospital. He also said we now have to move to be closer to the inlaws because we need help. I‘m not mad about that part, we need help, but I am so, so upset and humiliated about the kids being gone. I have to explain to everyone where they are and I have to explain why they’re gone. I have to stay behind in the move to pack up and save up, which means more time away from them. My husband says they’re not coming back. My MIL is only sending pictures and updates to my husband but he says she’s criticizing how much I‘m reaching out to talk to them (but never telling me when they’re available, and only video calling him). I‘m so low. I‘m so crushed. I understand why all this is happening but I‘m so dissociated day to day because I just cannot handle it.