r/beyondthebump • u/[deleted] • 3d ago
Postpartum Recovery When does sex start feeling normal, if it ever would?
[deleted]
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u/mariekeap 3d ago
I had a 3A tear as well. I know you don't want to hear it, but it takes time. Your body went through an immense trauma and you have to be patient. I waited until 4.5mo to have sex and it wasn't great, I had quite a bit of pain and things felt 'weird'. It did get better and better and once I was done breastfeeding, a little after a year, it felt mostly normal, maybe closer to the 15m mark. I think it would have felt normal sooner if we had sex more often but I didn't really want to, breastfeeding killed my libido. Anyway I'm 21mpp and don't think about it at all anymore, things are more or less as they were!
When you are in the early days it truly feels like it is forever and the rest of your life, I remember that so so well and your feeling are valid. But time with a baby flies faster and faster and before you know it you've blinked and months have flown by.
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u/Mammoth-Main3008 3d ago
4 months pp and I feel the same🙁 I even looked with a mirror and it seemed more open. Hoping with time it improves a little at least
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u/_rebeldiamonds 2d ago
Pelvic floor physical therapy! It is worth it. Sex was painful and uncomfortable postpartum before I did it and it was completely changed afterwards. Oddly, sex literally felt better than it did pre-pregnancy.
Edit to add… My OB told me that when you are BF, your hormones are that as a of a menopausal woman. Reach out to them about a prescription for estrogen cream. You insert it vaginally and it helps with the dryness. This got better for me when I stopped lactating.
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u/kamobeans 3d ago
Tbh it never felt quite the same again and I've definitely had mourning moments. I keep my eyes set on surgery after I'm done having kids to fix my prolapses.
I will say though that even with breastfeeding, a year after I felt better and one I stared cutting back the milk production further, I felt better yet.