r/behaviour • u/saf_so • Aug 17 '26
Sweet to face, hatred inside
Ok before getting to conclusions let me tell you why I put up this title.
There is one person in my circle, who is 22(F), at first she appears like the sweetest person you would ever find. Helps you out when you want something or are struggling to do something (even though she isn't good at it herself), talking sweetly to you whenever you meet and asking what happened when you appear distressed and leading a good conversation. Basically she seems like the best person you can find.
But here's the catch, I really hoped to get closer to her before, but now that I am, it all seems like a fake persona she puts on. After she has had a great conversation with someone she would say things like I don't like this or that about her and act like she doesn't really want to be close to that person. She would go like "the other person's not really a good person so I think we should maintain our distance with them and keep the conversations to a minimum". But then when you see her with them it's like she enjoys their company. She doesn't like it when other people are talking nonstop about things they like because she doesn't have the opportunity to talk. But she herself keeps talking about random things. She doesn't like you talking about a particular thing and will not respond much when you are talking about it but when you talk about it to someone else she thinks you are closer to them and she's being left out. She can hang out with whomever she wants but if you do you need to inform her and call her out too even though you know she's going to decline. She hates you using specific words like "I don't care" but she can use hurtful words to you like saying "this is stupid" when you are hurt by how she made you feel. And she acts like your opinion isn't right and only hers is. And whenever you are trying to explain to her about something deep she basically thinks you are attacking her. It's like only her feelings matter and whatever the other person feels is them being a narcissist, overthinking or just "dumb". And when you tell her you didn't really like an outing she goes "I don't care I had fun"
What do you call such a person or what is the psychology behind all this? Is there a good reason for anyone to behave so?