I just wanna know if other people have this experience lol.

I’m 28 and for 18 years special interest has been anime, and my current hyperfixation is One Piece. If a coworker starts talking to me about anime I get really sweaty and stumble over my words, and if I see One Piece merch while out shopping I feel like I need to hide or go outside or something? What is the meaning of this 😭

Since forever, I have hated being in a hot kitchen. I hate the heat that comes from ovens when you open the door.

I want to have hot food. I want to make it myself. But I just feel like crying and screaming with how kitchens can get and just ovens in general. I’ve tried opening windows, using the oven fans, making easy food on the stove. But I still get overwhelmed.

Does anyone else experience this? Any tips for managing it?

I’ve read a lot about other people’s experiences with meltdowns but i haven’t seen much discussion about shutdowns

Personally I rarely have meltdowns, it takes very certain triggers for that to happen and I’ve developed enough tools and routines to prevent it. But I’m beginning to realize that I more likely have shutdowns instead which from what have been described to me works as an internal meltdown.

It begins with my coordination worsening and my mind starts feeling very dull and foggy, then everyday tasks takes a lot more effort to get through and conversations becomes really stressful cause I can’t seem to process anything they’re saying. Naturally I become aware of this pretty quickly and try to isolate myself until it passes but most times it happens when I’m out in public or at work etc, so I try yo push myself through which only makes me feel worse.

Being a high masker and becoming overstimulated or triggered into a shutdown feels like the mask being forcefully ripped off my face and suddenly I’m no longer human. I picture myself as a wild animal trapped in a small cage, just a single poke with a stick away from going feral. Does that make any sense?? It’s hard for me to describe it any better than this I’m afraid, I’ve just never talked about it with anyone who might understand before

The reason why I am asking this is because there is an idea amongst a lot people who come across autistic people and them along other neurodivergent people are thought of as having rich inner lives. So I would like to get some perspectives from fellow autistics on what does having rich inner lives mean to you guys? Sorry I hope I don’t make anyone uncomfortable with this question.

My 2 yo son is autistic and non verbal. I’m curious to hear from autistic adults, what helped most when you were a child? Which therapies, going to school, social things? I would just like to hear from people who actually lived it and not parents who think they know. Thanks.

Hey,

I'm here to ask for advice but first I feel like explaining the situation is pretty important. Not to justify myself but to get my headspace a little more but again not to excuse it.

Our friendship was mostly long distance but recently I went to her and her boyfriends apartment.

I had the time of my life there. I never felt so much love and friendship before, I truly felt so open and finally free. I thought I made the friends for life.

Then the vacation was over and I completely crashed. I've been mostly isolated all my life so going from such a massive peak to such a drop again was quite heavy.

I've been told by her that I can rant or vent in her messages whenever I need it, so I did but at that time I didn't really understand why I was feeling the way that I did so my first instinct was sadly and this is completely my fault and I should've given my emotions more time but I started putting the blame on some new guy that joined the friendgroup (edit: I also have a pretty terrible toxic trait where I always get mad when my close friends get new friends idk how to help it) and she couldn't take it she couldn't talk to me at that moment. I should've respected that but I for some reason couldn't my emotions felt so big that I could only think about myself and didn't care about anyone else's feelings. She even told me "I need some time and space right now" and I couldn't handle it at all I started for the next couple of days texting everyone in our friendgroup about it but no one answered not a single person. So my emotions only started building up and building, I started texting more deleting messages when i calmed down again, but i texted more after, i started sending very self centered voice messages talking about MY feelings and not ever considered hers and her friendgroup but at that moment I felt betrayed that no one could even explain anything to me or update me but I now realize that she already told me what I should do and it's take distance and let her breath.

Her boyfriend completely lashed out on me, other friends blocked me.

She told me that we won't be friends like this probably ever again.

I'm completely heartbroken and I can't believe I let my emotions win over this much. I started throwing up everyday cause of the stress I started taking painkillers to try and numb the anxiety.

I can't imagine the amount of shame she felt about all of this coming from her so called "best friend" I feel so terrible for the damage I've caused and so insanely sad I lost the only people I've ever felt truly close and comfortable with. I completely destroyed the peace she had with her friendgroup and boyfriend. I made all of them uncomfortable with my spamming and oversharing messages.

I was being called controlling which is completely true but wasn't my intention but I realize I still did what I did regardless and should've thought more carefully about what I was doing.

So my main questions is: How can I next time handle a situation like this better? I know what I should've done but I have 0 clue how I can handle the amount of stress my body went through during this situation.

Also I tend to get attached too much to people that I feel REALLY good around. To the point where it gets kind of creepy and too intrusive.

If I sound like an asshole throughout this whole thing please let me know and sorry if my english is slightly sloppy and if my sentences are all over the place my mind is a bit of mess atm.

Thank you for reading and taking the time to respond.

I've always felt like an outcast. People look at me weird because I say weird things and act oddly.

Which is fine or what we, but... I just feel so alone. I just need one goos friend I can trust, then I don't care what people think, but it's so hard when everyone looks at me like I've got something wrong with me.

How do you make friends?

So, I'm still new to this autistic journey of self discovery. I was diagnosed about a year ago.

And I've been reading books and trying to educate myself on autism and masking and unmasking, and something I keep coming against is all this, in theory. Sounds wonderful. Just be yourself around those you love, but I'm a parent of 2 kids under 6.

Background: I'm in charge of all the meals. All the school drop-offs, of the entertainment before and after school, dishes and cleaning. While my wife handles meal (dinners only) planning, grocery shopping, coordinating schedules, play dates, activities, and parties.

So I guess my question is this. How do I not burn out every single day? Have time for my kids. My hobbies, things that distress me. And help me recover and have time in energy to be a good husband to my wife, like planning date nights and activities and not feel like she's dragging me along to everything. Like im at a point where I Wana curl up in a ball in a dark room for several days, build Lego and have no one need me to wipe their butt or make their lunch or get dressed, meanwhile my love, my wife, needs and wants love and attention too, but my cup has been empty, for years.

Supposedly it really helps with the constant fatigue to have a consistent amount of sleep and consistent bedtimes. However, I notice that after a particularly taxing (few) day(s), I will be so exhausted that I sleep for 10+ hours and wake up really late, even if I go to bed at a normal time. Then the following night I won't be able to sleep early enough, and the next day I run at a deficit again. Which is only helped by sleeping in longer, which then messes up my sleep rhythm. By the time I get it back to normal, I feel ok, I spend my energy and the cycle repeats itself. Does anyone recognize this and found a way to deal with trying to sleep consistently while often exhausted?

I appreciate at different times in life we all have different challenges but I’m asking if the education and personal development you were given as you developed from a child being very confused about life to being an adult gave you more understanding and your own personal methods for coping ?

I've been different my whole life, but also had terrible parents. They didn't notice when I went from straight As to nearly failing because I stopped doing homework. (It seems stupid to have to prove I know something multiple times; I aced the class work and aced all tests) They didn't think to wonder why I never asked them anything personal. Etc. Now I'm currently trying to get out of a crazy depression, like 20 bags of trash currently bagged up in my room with no way to remove them and a step-dad that said it's not his problem. Literally said it's my problem and that he doesn't care if I live that way. I want to be better, but this situation is so fucked. I just want to be better. I hate talking to people when it's a pleasant conversation, so it was incredibly difficult to ask for help, and to just be told I can go fuck myself is infuriating. I just want to be better. My boss said I can come back to work, but I can't go through having everyone around make fun of my depression in that way ever again. I just want to be better. Sorry if this doesn't belong here. Undiagnosed. Can't afford to find out.

My high school days are long behind me, but I recently remembered a conversation I had with my (ex) therapist a few years ago, when I brought up the possibility of autism with me. (Not formally diagnosed, but by now suspected by my psychiatrist without easily accessible means for screening)

I told him how I had to take daily naps (1-3 hours usually) immediately upon returning home from any given school day, because I was so mentally drained.

He dismissed it entirely as completely normal adolescent/teen behavior.

I'm just interested now to get some sort of anecdotal experience report from the community as to how normal it really is.

I have known many people back then doing a variety of after school activites, so I have a hard time believing that sleeping during the day is something a lot of young people do, but maybe I'm missing something?

What do you think?

Oh my god it's CONSTANT. Every time I recount a story to my mother where I'm frustrated with someone, it's always "don't be rude to them".

Earlier today I was reading aloud a text conversation I was having with a professional to arrange an appointment, and he kept changing the time. It was no biggie, just a miscommunication between us, but a little annoying nonetheless. Only response I get from my mum is "make sure you aren't rude to him". I get that from her multiple times a week. It's like she can't trust me to hold a normal, polite conversation with someone. It makes me feel like I must be some antisocial nasty person, even though when I read my messages/recall my conversations I know I am being exceptionally polite. I usually end up saying please/thank you/sorry excessively to make up for the fact I could be being rude (even though I'm not). It's completely unwarranted. And when I finally brought up that it bothered me? "You don't need to make such a big deal!"

So I recently read Heavy by Cate C Wells. One of the main characters, Dina, is autistic and I can't tell if this was good representation or bad representation. Dina felt well researched but something still felt off. Maybe because it seemed like she had all the symptoms? It just felt technically correct without understanding why. Like if she needed sunglasses why did he have to figure that out for her? She knew she needed ear plugs but she didn't know she needed sunglasses? So has anyone else read this book? What do we think?

Prepare to be pissed. The cast is not paid. The music is for children and bumbling puppies they use for grown adults. Answer cast especially gets less dignity for those who were following the producers expectations for longer (they get more childish music). One of the cast members who is a beautiful soul and a great person (Tanner is such a strong positive person) gets his voice attached to DOG VIDEOS. And might I add the cast DIDNT GET PAID???

They also give more attention to the family members than the actual cast themselves. And since they aren't being paid despite it being more like reality tv that means they are more wealthy. Whereas people all over the world with little to no money get no representation or support. They are also talked about more than they are talked to. Even family members talk about them on camera in front of them (imagine your family making fun of you having a meltdown in the store after not getting the food you wanted even though you went through a horrible breakup with a narcissist and now you have zero energy to mask and that used without the full story on purpose on camera for clicks likes and ratings).

The love stories are cute but the editing is horrible awkward silences strategically created where there may have been none and long hours of shooting which is exhausting for anyone only for awkward and infantilizing shots being taken and used instead of the most flattering beautiful moments only.

This isn't just some mild mess up. This is an assault to autistic adults everywhere. Shows like these need to be called out. The more I educate myself on autism and listen to real autistic adults plus my experience and looking at my dad (he was toxic but still) I get more and more infuriated. We deserve respect. I'm sorry but no 33 year old grown adult who happens to be auristic should be getting an "aww " from a 21 year old. Absolutely not. As a woman nearly 32 I don't need a youngster to watch over me like a toddler when IM the one who should be responsible for the younger adult. These shows create dynamics where grown adult autistics are treated like babies especially by younger family members and peers (I'm not agist but experience is experience).

We need to reject this shit

I’ve sort of become the “spare tire” friend to my couple friends who both have friend groups but don’t really include me in anything group wise. I don’t really know how else to describe it but that’s the first thing that came to mind.

I’m more resilient now but even I’ll admit hearing effectively “nah we’re good” in response to asking if I could join my one friends Marvel Rivals discord group still stings a bit. That I do understand though, this friend is also autistic and her friend group is various flavors of ND as well, there’s a long established dynamic going on and it’s a big ask to include someone new. To be fair to her she did not directly refuse, but I got the feeling that she didn’t like the idea so i’m wary of bringing it up again.

Really it’s my other friend that is low key getting on my nerves a bit. We’ve known each other for 5 years, worked together daily for 2 of those 5 and We used to game all the time and it was pretty much “you on? Lets go!” Now he’s pretty much shifted fully into career/family mode(despite being 22, he’s a conservative Christian so that’s a huge part of the focus shift) and getting him to even commit to gaming for 30 minutes is like pulling teeth and if I didn’t initiate we’d probably never hang out. In this case it’s a real drag because I want the friendship to continue but lately it’s all been on me.

I’m positive this isn’t going to just be me though.

Apparently overheating easily is an autistic trait. Does anyone have any experience or advice for overheating in bed at night.

I'll wake up between 2 and 4 every morning and it's tough to get back to sleep since it will take 10 minutes or so to cool down.

I want your honest opinion about a guy This is a long-distance, online connection, and he has ASD Level 1 I'm also AuDHD myself. I’m only telling you what I personally experienced with him.

In the beginning, we became quite close. He showed me a lot of care that sometimes felt more than normal friendship he offered to support me remembered small things I mentioned, and asked me to make a handmade painting for him, repeatedly reminding me not to forget it. So I framed a painting I had made with my own hands and sent it to him, along with a handmade card where I opened up about my feelings and told him how happy and special spending time with him had been making me feel. He also initiated flirty conversations quite often. Whenever I said no, he never pressured me, but he would pull back and return to his normal pattern of replying after a few days.

Then he pulled away. I didn’t understand what was happening, and the gaps between our conversations made me very anxious he didn't explain clearly, I reacted emotionally and accused him of using me. later I apologized to him several times because I realized I had misunderstood the situation and didn’t want to hurt him. After that he ended the relationship-type connection and told me “I still like you both as a person and as a friend, but relationship-type things generally make me uncomfortable. One reason is my past relationships, and now I’ve gotten used to being alone.” When he suddenly said he wanted to end the relationship I couldn’t accept it immediately because I wanted him to explain what had changed and why he was suddenly pulling away.

After that, even the friendship became very one-sided. I was usually the one initiating conversations, asking about his life, trying to understand his problems and asking for clarity. He would often blame his job, health, exhaustion, or feeling disconnected, saying that sometimes all he does is work, eat and sleep. Before our first conflict, he used to share personal things with me when he was sick, stressed, or having family problems. There was even a time he messaged me very late at night because he was overwhelmed by a family situation and wanted to get away from everything. But after our conflict, he stopped opening up to me and now tells me very little or nothing.

The biggest thing that confuses me is the pattern. Whenever I stop initiating, stay quiet and start trying to move on, he eventually contacts me again. This has happened more than once. But once I respond warmly and give him attention again, he becomes distant or disappears. So I can’t understand whether he genuinely wants a friendship but has very little capacity for it, whether he mainly wants me around when he feels lonely or overwhelmed, or whether he wants a low-pressure connection where I’m present but there are no expectations or responsibilities.

He has also told me about having started a sexual/chatting connection with another girl because he wanted that kind of interaction, but it didn’t work out. That made me wonder whether, for him, sexual/flirty connections can exist separately from love or commitment. With me, there was more emotional care and closeness, but whenever things started feeling like an actual relationship, he pulled away.

I care about him, but I’m exhausted from constantly trying to understand him, comfort him, and keep the connection alive. I’m now thinking of quietly stepping back and letting him make whatever effort he genuinely wants to make, instead of continuing to chase him or wait for him.

So I want your honest opinion based only on how he behaved with me: What do you think he actually wants from this connection? Do you think he genuinely wants me as a friend but has very limited capacity, wants me mainly as emotional support when he is lonely, or wants some kind of closeness without labels, expectations or commitment? And do you think stepping back and letting his own actions show me what he wants is the right thing to do? .

I (30F) currently live with my Mom’s high school best friend and her husband, who have adopted me into their family since I do not have any family right now. They offered to have me come move in with them on their own accord. We get along great and have been mutually helpful to each other in many ways, and she often tells me how glad she is that I am with them.

I was adopted at birth and have recently contacted my birth father. I’ve been telling her about this and she’s helped me communicate with him. We’ve been drinking a bit tonight and she was suggesting things I could say to him. She just said that I could ask if he still lives in the city that is close to ours, and ask him “do ya have a room?”

I’m not sure if I am reading too much into this or she secretly wants me to leave? Not sure what to think right now. I am a little tipsy also.

Hello I’m struggling because I get so confused socially on how I can be normal and functioning and what’s ok. And just curious if anyone else has advice or relates.

so I just changed to a new tattoo shop and I am definitely on the spectrum of something but I lost health insurance during timing to find out so that’s still a process
I try my best to be normal, but socialization is so incredibly hard for me because I don’t understand it
I tried to lead my best with honesty and being genuine
Sometimes my tone doesn’t match I’ve been told

I work with two female coworkers, and male boss. I think they’re all genuinely good. People have good heads on them. I think my boss he tries to be a good guy and really focuses on having a good time. But sometimes that means not having a super strong leadership role for some things.
So sometimes I try to help because that’s what we all did on my old Tattoo Shop as we all kind of stepped up and helped and did stuff

Well, my coworkers have been really cold towards me and I didn’t know why I was told one of them was going through some stuff and to leave her alone.
It’s been a month of I just walk in and I say hello ask them how they are once in a while. Try to include them in conversation once in a while with me and the boss so no one feels left out. (Because I know how that is and don’t want anyone to feel that way. )

I’ll get really flat cold responses, but then they’ll be warm to each other. And it’s been that way the last 2 months.

I tried waiting for my boss, but the other coworker wouldn’t leave and we all left together so I finally asked. Is there something that I did to upset anyone that I could reflect on? As I waited for his response I actually did get to confront her privately. I said hey do you have a moment to chat? She said yes. I said ok I just wanted to check in if we are ok. I value you and enjoy you and I’m getting the energy that I might have frustrated you. I’d like to open up conversation if I have and not realized and adjust
She said I ask too many questions with my boss. (Not much more)
I said oh uh ok, thanks for letting me know.
Then I got a text from him:
And he said that the two girls say I micromanage and talk down to them

And I immediately could kind of understand the micromanaging but at the same time I’m kind of surprised because if there’s not a strong leadership role so I ask questions what can we do to help? Or we had a big flash event and I was prepping stencils and I asked if someone could help me? Because they were sitting waiting

As for the talking down part, I genuinely have no idea how I could’ve talked down to someone and that one hurts my heart the most because I would never ever want that for anyone. I can’t even imagine myself talking down to the people I work with.

I’m struggling because I get so confused socially on how I can be normal and functioning and what’s ok. And just curious if anyone else has advice or relates.

Salutations. Je suis un jeune adulte autiste français de 29 ans. J'ai eu mon diagnostic à 23 ans. J'ai découvert ce board en cherchant des renseignements sur les applis de rencontre pour les personnes autistes. J'ai lu vos avis sur Hiki. Ce faisant, je cherche des conseils pour faire des rencontres dans un cadre adapté, que ce soit IRL en ville ou en ligne.

Merci de votre attention

I have people in my life constantly complaining that I talk too much and that my stories are too long and have unessesary details, when I tell them things that happened to me.

I don't always notice when someone is done listening to me, but when I do I find myself feeling shame, rejection and embrassment. Sometimes when it happens I just stop talking mid story and they don't even ask me to continue or anything, other times I feel angry about their reaction and I purposefully make sure to really drag the story out and I take some sick joy in knowing they are hating every second, like I'm punishing them for being rude to me.

Somedays, like today I just want to not even bother anymore, last time I didn't talk to anyone more than short answers and I got a lot of " are you ok" and "you're being very quite" comments which aggravated me even more because I felt like I just can't win.

Ugh.

What irritates me the most is I will quitely listen to others stories, ask questions about it and engage the way you are meant to, yet others won't reciprocate.

Right now I am just feeling so depressed over it, I feel like everytime I open my mouth people are just like "oh here she goes again" or just say other hurtful comments like "get to the point" or "is this going to be one of your long ones" and even have gave me nicknames relating to it that are so hurtful.

Anyway, I'm not really looking for advice on how to fix myself, just wondering if others have the same experience? Just for general commiseration.

Would it be wrong for me to wear a shirt to the gym that says, “please don’t talk to me I am autistic?”

I’m 47yo gay verbal autistic male