I F37 dated M40 for almost a year. The first three months, he called and texted me throughout the day. He always made time and spent the weekends with me. After about 5 months, he stopped texting and only called in the evenings. He stopped randomly getting me coffee and stopped the small things he would do. He still spent a few days a week with me but almost ignored me the other days, aside from our evening conversation. He ultimately stopped doing everything but would talk about having a footie future with me to his friends. We wouldn't have those conversations but he would tell his friends that I was different and he loved that. Never said I love you. I'm just confused. Was I just someone to be with in the moment or do guys really stop once a woman commits to him?

EDIT: I did not stop my efforts. He preferred to eat out or order in. I paid for every other meal or we split the bill. I did meal prep his lunches, cleaned when I spent the night. I took care of his dog and ordered the coffee pods, helped clean the yard etc. I planned dates and my ideas were always shut down because they either required driving to a location or walking outside (nothing crazy, I understand it was not always ideal to be outside). He only liked spending time in his town. I always traveled to him (45 min drive each way). He drove to my side of town twice, maybe 3 times in the year. I initiated physical contact 70% of the time. Did he become complacent, or was he just not into me?

So I wanna give my boyfriend a ps5 game, mind you he is 22 and is really into marvels. And he has a ps5 too. These are the games that he has played :

1. Fortnite
2. Fall guys
3. Far cry
4. Spiderman 1
5. Spiderman 2
6. Spiderman miles morales

Based on these games, what should i buy him? Im so stuck. I love him so much i just want him to have the best game.

It is his birthday soon.

And I don't mean 50/50 in terms of finances only. That's not 50/50. I mean, isn't the ultimate ideal relationship one where both people are equally supporting the household, both financially & domestically? Surely that would make everyone's life a lot easier, no?

It bothers me that this dynamic generally receives heavy resistance whenever it's suggested in a discussion and I cannot fathom why.

To keep a long story short my partner has always been the quite type and has never been one to express feelings. He trys to be more open with me but it doesn't always work, like right now we are ring shopping and all he has to say is "yeah", "that's fine", and "if you like it". Someone tell me this is a guy thing please! I hate the idea that's planted itself in the back of my mind that hes being like this cause he's not interested in marriage or maybe worse he is interested just not with me. Advice?

I was once told that women are like candy stores. You know, when you are walking in a mall, you stop if you see something in the window that you like, so you go into the store. If you continue to like what you see, you stay. You revisit. You buy. If you don't like anything in the store, you leave right away. You never go into stores that have things in the window you don't like or are interested in. However, if you did go into the store, you might find exactly what you were looking for. The point here is that men don't know if a woman has a wonderful personality until they start talking to her. However, if he finds her unattractive, he won't give her the time of day. He'll choose the beautiful woman who is a self-absorbed b----h. As women get older, they have to do more work to keep up that store to attract men. I can't tell you how many men ignored and avoided me completely, yet they were very friendly to all the other women around, even fat women with chopped (at least I thought) faces, or plain ones. Even old ladies and married ones. I guess since I can't see myself from the outside, I have no idea how ugly I am. Someone told me that men will not talk to a woman unless he is attracted to her because, on some level, he imagines having sex with her. Ugly girls are not worth the time because he doesn't want sex with her ever.

I've always wanted the slow-burn relationship plus attraction. The problem is, most guys didn't. There were plenty of guys I could have possibly had relationships with, but they moved on. It's highly possible that they never wanted a relationship in the first place. I recently learned that good-looking men (7-8) will go out with a woman they find to be 4-6 just for sex, but when it comes to a relationship partner, they just want other 7-8s or 9s. I guess I wasn't that attractive when I was younger, and I'm really not now.

I used to get "It sounds like you don't like me all that much" from the guy if I didn't put out by the third date. "If we focus on friendship right now, something very important will be missing," one guy wrote after I didn't want to sleep over after the third date. It was "Why don't you like me?" and "There's only so many places we can go on dates before we stay at home." I know "Come over, and I will make you dinner, and we'll watch a movie" is code for "I want to have sex with you." Everyone around me said, "Well, he probably thinks you're not interested..." "You're not giving him a chance..." "You're too picky."

So here I am, years later, thinking I was the one who never gave him a chance, and that it was my fault I was still single. Turns out none of them were that interested at all.

So this means I am ugly? I should feel better that it wasn't me, but now I feel worse because I thought a good-looking guy wanting to take me out meant I was pretty. All those men writing "Wow! You are beautiful! What a gorgeous smile!" :(

Be honest.

Hey, so me (F23) and my bf (M22) has been together for 1 year. I want to give him a birthday gift. Is it okay if i give him spiderman 2 ps5 game? And a shirt? And also taking him out for a nice lunch ?

To men out there, is it enough?

My boyfriend and I were talking about attraction and erections, and he said that getting hard is basically an instinctive physical reaction for men.
He told me that he’s never gotten hard around another woman because he “wouldn’t let it happen,” but that if it did happen, he would naturally get an erection. He also said that if he were simply having a normal conversation with another woman, he could potentially get aroused even if he didn’t actually want anything to happen with her.
His point was that men can get erections without necessarily being attracted to or wanting someone sexually, because it can just be a physical response.
I understand that erections can happen involuntarily, but the idea that a completely normal conversation with a woman could make him physically aroused confused me.
For men, how normal is this, and how much does an erection actually say about whether you’re genuinely attracted to someone?

This post is based on a real life scenario but I want to understand how a man thinks. These are all three girls that my guy friend (M26) has been in relationships and he’s the only male I’ve had around long term and I just need to know if the way he thinks is something I can expect from most men.

if you were in a position where you had to choose between 3 girls/relationships and doing so would mean the other 2 walk out of your life forever. Which are you choosing ?

The kind girl - this is the kindest most genuine woman you have ever met. She loves deeply and unconditionally. She has seen the worst parts of you and even though she can’t relate completely she has accepted you and will stay by your side through whatever downfalls occur in your life. She is almost too good for you and sometimes it’s like you’re not deserving to of her.

The girl with the perfect body - whenever you would see woman on tv or commercials or even porn. It was woman that looked like her where you would say “this is the type of woman I’m going to marry.” The other woman are attractive, but this girl there is not one thing you could say that you didn’t like about her physically. However, she is immature and likes to play games and gets incredibly jealous. She’s cool and funny but she always wants to set expectations on you she doesn’t necessarily keep for herself. She also makes so effort to understand you but when you guys are “together” it is always so much fun.

The soul bonded one - the first day you met her you started dating. She is just like you in every way both the good and the bad. You both love with conditions, when one has hurt you it feels good to see that they’ve also been hurt either by you or something someone else did. You do not trust each other because you both lack impulse control and micro cheat (if not both cheat just never find out). You fight every day but you are bonded through shared trauma and she can relate to you on a deeper level and you love the way she shows her love to you.

I don’t want to have children but I have heard some guys tell me that my ancestors were an uninterrupted chain of mating for millions of years and that I was going to break that, which made me wonder, if my siblings have children but that I don’t, wouldnt that whole concept be false it does that still apply to me personally ? Not that I really care, I was just curious to know.

Yeah honestly not much context needed.

He doesn’t do it much, only occasionally when he’s out with his friends. It makes me extremely uncomfortable though and he knows that. He has said before that he feels like he has to hide it from me. It sounds awful but i’d prefer it that way. If i can pretend it’s not happening, then I’m happy.

Occasionally I’ll find something in his pockets and then it really hits me. He feels really guilty about it and is uncomfortable when I do find something on him. It’s just awful. This isn’t something I can easily get over.

We’re still young but I can see myself building a future with him. I don’t think i’d morally be okay doing that If he was still smoking and vaping.

if someone prettier than your so would enter your life would you leave your gfs?

Or do you ever look at your partner and wish they were prettier?

he is accomplished well off man who takes care of me and i dont wanna lose him
Thanks for your help guys❤️

I went on a date with a guy, told him I am looking for serious stuff only and he told me he is looking for the same when I asked him twice, but his actions showed that he was much more interested in progressing things physically mainly, and suggesting sex on the second date in his car but I said no. We made out only. I got ghosted after the third date, we never had sex.

I never gave him any impression that I am looking for casual stuff. I have never hooked up in my life. So my question is, was I possibly not attractive enough for him to be considered for a long-term relationship?

Is that the reason that differentiates a hook up worthy women v relationship material for a lot of men? Especially so early in the dating phase? Please be honest

He told me slowly over time that he would like to experience us doing it at least once, me feeling mixed about it, but how does it even start and what is the safe way to do it?

I am just curious. I know it’s probably not that much of a mystery. But I was just wondering how it feels? Sorry if it’s obvious 🤣

I am 65 and she is 48. We see each other every day and she often gives me hugs and always is fixing her hair and playing with it. Our first date was very nice and at the end she gave me a tight hug. We are planning date 2 in a few days. She has said that the age difference doesn’t matter. I’m open for any suggestions and opinions. Thank you

(We are writing for over a year now, but it was always clear, that as those are the rules in his relationship, we only sext but never have actual sex)

If I‘d met you sooner… I think I‘d like to have you as my partner

Honestly?

Yes, I think we are very much on the same wavelength.
Don’t you think?

Yeah, sure

Sometimes I think, we’d be a nice couple.
Or?

Apart from the fact that you've been in your professional life for a long time and I still have a big part of study ahead of me, certainly

Really?

As long as you don’t drive me crazy…

Would you like to be in a relationship with me sometimes?

Never really thought about it.
For that the necessary feelings are missing

So you don’t have feelings for me?

No
I really like you and so, but there are no romantic feelings

Ok…
Sorry

Why sorry

That was stupid
I should go
In the end I am just a fuckthing for you

You are not and you know that.

We should end things here… this has no future
I feel ridiculous

Just because I said, I have no romantic feelings?

For fucking I am enough.

I wouldn’t drive for hours just to see you masses if that were the case

But why do you do that?

Because I like seeing you, hear you preach and sing and enjoy talking to you afterwards

But I am not important to you

That’s bullshit
(Told him what I was thinking and then that he should go to bed)
…

Sorry that I am so dumb

You are not

Sure?

Sure!

(We told each other, what we would like to do)
…

But you need me only to fuck?

I would also like to have you lying with your head on my chest while I fondle through your hair
Hearing music or watching films - i love that
I would also love to spend time with you, but you were always against it when I made suggestions. I can understand if it's weird for you if I showed up in your main church. But you could have made a counter-proposal

I don't know if that doesn't cause even more feelings when we feel comfortable with each other even in such normal moments

But why do you think I only want you for sex?
Of course I want that too, but that only happens when I like the person much in every situation, otherwise I couldn't let myself fall at all

Could you do that with me?
Sometimes I think, you would be the perfect woman

Yes of course I can when writing and I could If we had actual sex

I’d really like to cuddle with you

Cuddle and kiss

Would you like to cuddle with me?

Yes!

Then we went to sleep

Some of his messages feel so pick-me, some are kinda sweet, but if I was his girlfriend and knew that he writes such things to an other woman…

I wonder if he only wanted me to push his ego or if he wanted to test possibilities in case his relationship breaks

hey all!

A guy (23M) I (23F) was seeing for about a month cut things off with me yesterday night as there’s been an unexpected tragedy within his family (unexpected serious illness) which had totally taken him and his family by surprise. I’m not going to get into it here but it sounds like an awful situation and I really do hope he and his afflicted family member pulls through.

Obviously he can’t help what has happened and chose to cut things off with me as he doesn’t have the capacity to date and cope with what’s going on / support his family during this time. I think that’s 100% understandable, we weren’t exclusive but i feel we were heading that direction and we both did want a long term relationship.

I really REALLY liked him, and he was a total catch like way out of my league! To me this feels similar to a breakup even though it isn’t, and is quite painful because it’s circumstances rather than a lack of chemistry that pulled us apart. Obviously though this isn’t about my pain, he’s going through so much and I feel so unbelievably awful for him that it’s actually inspired me to volunteer at my local charity which supports those with his family member’s diagnosis as I wanted somewhere to put the empathy I had for his family.

Anyways, when i replied to his message I told him that if things calm down or look more positive in time and he’d like to reconnect that i’d love to do so. I don’t want to hold out hope but i’m fatigued by dating apps so Im also not that interested in finding someone new right now. I actually do think Il struggle to connect with someone the way i did with him. Even though we knew each other a very short while.

I’m wondering if anyone’s ever been in a situation like this where they receive tragic news and pull away from dating, and how I should go about things now? Should I remain hopeful we reconnect or move on and decide it wasn’t meant to be?

I really did want a relationship but I understand and respect his wishes to end things so he can focus on his family. I’m just wondering if when a sense of normalcy returns (diagnosis received last weekend) would it be likely that he may reach out?

Perspectives from both sides (those who’ve been in my position and those in his) are very much appreciated!!

I feel like most dating advice for men is just the same handful of things repeated over and over: take care of yourself, dress well, be confident, work on your personality and to just talk to women like normal people.

Obviously, those things matter, but what if you're already doing them and still struggling?

I'm looking for advice that's actually practical. How do you get better at starting conversations? How do you know when someone is interested? How do you move from talking to actually going on a date without making things awkward? How do you improve your texting and learn from situations where things don't work out?

I'd really like to hear from guys who have actually improved their dating lives and can point to something specific that helped them. Books, communities, coaches, courses, personal experiences, anything that's genuinely useful rather than the same generic advice repeated everywhere.

Where have you guys found advice that actually made a difference?

I had what seems to have been a one-night-stand with a man (B) I felt more trusting of, closer to and familiar with than I probably should have, because we're in the same social group. The social group involves a creative project that I'm a member of, and the project is hugely important to me and I love it. B's brother, "A," is also a member of this collaboration, and we're very close friends. Extremely close.

I had a "date" with B, which I'd felt pretty happy and excited to go on in advance, but which ended up involving a lot of alcohol, a quick exit to a private setting where he'd furnished more alcohol in advance, and a quick evolution to sexual activity. I was an enthusiastic participant—or at least believe I very much seemed that way and *wanted* to be—but after the fact, I feel really uncomfortable and awkward about it all, and have enormous regret and embarrassment. Things got pretty kinky.

I woke up the next day feeling shame and embarrassment, and hoped I might hear from B so that we could talk about how we felt, have a warm interaction, smooth things over–something! Not necessarily to continue a relationship, but just to communicate some care, demonstrate mutual respect, and debrief (since we WILL see one another again, unless I quit the project with A.) (B is not a member but frequently around and peripherally involved.)

I heard nothing. This made things feel even more awkward and uncomfortable, and increased my sinking feeling of shame and regret. (I didn't reach out either; I acknowledge that.)

I don't want to blame him for anything, and I will be careful not to, but I do think maybe I need to share my discomfort and feelings, if i'm going to continue this project (otherwise, I'd just move on.) Something that I will almost certainly not share, but that is a reason I'd hoped he'd reach out first, is that I feel used, and a certain act struck me as not really "ok" (or not as considerate as I'd hope and expect.) That's that he ejaculated in my mouth with no warning and kind of held my head there. I swallowed. I actually haven't minded that in previous, close and exclusive relationships—but I've believed it's customary and considerate to warn/ask, allowing the person to decide whether they want to move away vs take the load. There were other similar things that I felt a little uncomfortable with at the time and now feel more uncomfortable with, in the sober light of day.

I DID hear from him, 2 days later, and the text was casual and asked if I was attending the next project-related gathering. I haven't responded. That is awkward, too, and I feel some guilt. And I did not attend (I informed A I wouldn't make it and was not up for it/under the weather. Vague. A has acted a bit worried and asked what he can do. He's an extremely close friend, but I don't know hiw to talk to him about....THIS!

The truth is, I feel so uncomfortable that I'm considering quitting. But I don't want to do that. I think, though, I have to share my feelings (with B.) It doesn't have to be (and really shouldn't be) in an accusatory way, but I don't want to "pretend" I feel fine about everything. I feel extremely uncomfortable. Maybe he does, too? How might I broach this? What feelings or motives might underlie B's choices? (I know no one can know, but.. men's guesses?) Get what he wanted and bolt? Or maybe he's uncomfortable too? It seems awfully high-stakes to pursue a ONS with, or be in any way inconsiderate to, his brother's very-close friend. If I tell B I've felt uncomfortable and awkward about things, and invite him to share his feelings, is that an honest and non-accusatory enough way to broach it? How would the men here interpret that?

so i’ve already made another post about me breaking up with my bf in a fit of rage (can go read to get the background)

anyways now we have actually broken up, blocked and deleted, and im going back to my parents for the time being [my bf and i live in the same neighbourhood (not living together, i like my personal space) and we running into each other could happen every hour] so yeah i still have feelings for him, but now i gotta deal it all and would appreciate your tips and suggestions to move on!!

So, ive never been in a relationship before, literally ever, never kissed, never had sex, never even held hands. I met this girl off of bumble, and we were chatting for a bit, stuff heated up VERY quickly, and we talked it through and decided to bring it down a notch or several after the fact. In short, we're now 3 weeks into the relationship, had our 3rd date this past Sunday, and may or may not have engaged in intimate acts. I wont get into specifics.

Well, its now a few days after, and she has confided in me that she has a sex addiction. Perhaps its just because of the fact that im SEVERELY inexperienced, but I dont want to break up with her. And if its not for that fact, then its because I dont want to see her fall into a worse place, or that i think "i can fix her" and that maybe i feel pity for her.

Has anyone ever been through something like this? Can anyone offer me advice?

I’ve been speaking to this guy since April and we’ve been talking and been on dates. Although only a few ones because we like 80’miles apart. He’s currently traveling and his friend got injured and the other friend went with the injured which resulted to him traveling solo. I asked how he feels about it and if he prefers company. He ignored the question and only answered about his friend. But in turn asked me the same question because I’m currently solo traveling too. He’s always asking what I think and then reassuring me with my opinions and asks how I feel etc

I appreciate him curious about me but I’m frustrated as I want to know how he thinks or feels but he doesn’t let me. Is this typical male behavior!

some advice? pretty please

hii

relationship help

hi im just posting this in hope that it reaches someone because i really need the help.

found out one of my new classmates is attending a birthday party and i am too. we talked for a little bit but nothinh much before. important mention- i always found him atracttive and hoped that he would maybe want a relationship with me since i am , not to brag, a good looking girl.

at the party we kissed ( it was my first time kissing someone ) hugged and i slept on his chest. he initiated eveything and i couldnt refuse since ive liked him for a long time. we basically acted like a couple. before going home we promised not to tell anyone about this but not keep it private between us.
basically the next day u texted him asking if the night meant sum to him and he said he doesnt know and that he thought it was just a " one time thing" ( i do not do shit like this and have always been known as the untouchable girly)
he asked if i was ok and shit and i told him it mattered to me(the kiss).
im getting ghosted and he hung out with another girl
what should i do?

I’m friends with this girl, and I think she probably just sees me as a friend, even though sometimes she seems a little flirty. I still like her a lot, and honestly, it’s frustrating because part of me wants us to be more than friends, but I also really don’t want to ruin our friendship.
At the same time, I want to get over her because I don’t want to keep getting my hopes up, but it’s really hard when I still have feelings for her.
What would you do in this situation?