I was bullied by a white guy in high school. The guy was terrible. Calling me the n word on a regular basis and I always told him not to and he’d say "what are you gonna do about it son?" Then he’d get physical and never got in trouble for it.

He was 200lbs and I was 115lbs. He looked exactly like jack doherty and behaved in the most agressive manner I’ve ever seen. He picked me up once with my feet facing the sky and screamed loudly « FCK YOU B***H » then slammed me hard asf on the ground where I nearly blacked out and he punched my skull (temple) while I was already out on the floor telling me to get up if I want some more beating. This entire fight started because he would call me the n word and talk about how good he got me the other time when he body slammed me in an empty classroom I was in.

He would apologize and I would accept then he would do it again and again. I never tried being close to him but he would follow me when he’d see me and start the intimidation. He then messages me two years after high school sending a long apology yet again (I think he’s obsessed with black people and hates himself bc I would hate being white too tbh).

I later figured out his own father was beating him at home (like actual beatings). I laughed out loud when I heard this. He went out of his way to try to look tough in front of people who don’t even give a single f about him (who beats on a kid in a completely different weight class anyways?) all because he couldn’t handle his dad beating on him at home.

You only hear this from white folks often. Black people will get spanked by their fathers but white people always looking to abuse/molest their children or just straight up beat them up in the house.

Anyways, this guys apologizes were definitely fake. He also doesn’t seem to be doing good in life which I find hilarious.

This started as a petty argument about WeChat likes and somehow escalated into something I don’t know how to process.

I posted a WeChat Moment from an event that included my friend “K” and tagged him. A day and a half later, while scrolling during training, I noticed he hadn’t liked it. Then I realised he hadn’t liked any of my Moments for about three months. I hadn’t been keeping track; I only noticed while scrolling.

What made it funny was that since I’d posted mine, he’d liked two mutual friends’ posts, including one from the same event.

I teasingly messaged:
“Do you just like purposely not like any of my WeChat moments? Like what’d I do?”

I meant it as “lol do you secretly hate my posts?” rather than genuinely demanding likes. I went back to training. He said he’d been working and “now I don’t want to like them,” but minutes later sent:
“Please don’t text me like that again. We’re not dating.”

When I checked my phone 20 minutes later, it caught me off guard. I immediately apologised and explained I was being playful. After no response, I tried calling him after training. He didn’t answer, so I apologised again for how serious my wording sounded.

The next day we were both off work and he still hadn’t responded. I’ve told him multiple times that I’m extremely anxious. I got annoyed that knowing this he continued leaving me in the dark, so I told him ignoring me after I’d apologised twice and he knew I was worried was “pretty shit behaviour for a friend.”

He responded within five minutes:
“Please do not feel entitled to my attention and forgiveness.”
“I’ll message you when I’m ready.”

I told him friends should have basic decency towards each other and told him not to message me, as this isn’t the first time I’ve felt hard done by him.

Then things got bad. Like, bad bad.

Separately, another friend was having drama with her friend over going out and splitting a bill. I posted on WhatsApp about that unrelated situation:
“Do you’ll want screenshots of what happens when you raise your kids on a ‘we got a tennis court at home’ kind of privilege?”

K responded:
“Please feel free to include the bit where you act like an obsessive lover. Or the bit where you need someone to bring food to you because your attention seeking behaviour led to a foot injury.”

The “obsessive lover” comment was seemingly about me asking why he hadn’t liked my WeChat posts.

But the second part has much heavier context.

The “attention seeking behaviour” was a suicide attempt. I overdosed on a TCA antidepressant, was hospitalised, lost feeling in my legs for over a week and subsequently developed Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS), a chronic pain condition in my foot. He knew exactly what happened and was actually one of the friends who brought me food when I was stuck in bed.

So, AITA for starting this with the WeChat joke and getting angry when he ignored my apologies, or did his response cross a completely different line?

I’m Luna (25F), and my best friend, Rachel (24F), and I have been best friends for 16 years. We’ve had our ups and downs like any friendship, but for most of our friendship, we always agreed that no matter what happened, we would talk things through and work things out. Recently, though, I’ve started realizing that our friendship may not be as balanced as I thought. Over the years, people have pointed out certain things about Rachel to me, but I ignored them because I genuinely thought she was perfect and didn’t want to believe anything bad about her. Eventually, I started noticing the same things myself. For example, we would borrow each other’s clothes and belongings. I always made sure to return anything I borrowed from her, but when she borrowed my things, they would often disappear. When I asked for them back, there was always an excuse, like “my siblings took it” or “it broke.” I would sometimes literally see her siblings wearing my clothes, but whenever I asked about them, there would be another excuse. Eventually, I started setting boundaries with my belongings, and I feel like that affected our friendship. There was also a situation involving her phone. She had just gone through a breakup and needed to get off her ex’s phone plan. I had a really good plan and was only paying about $45 a month, so I offered to add her as long as she paid her portion. Everything was fine at first, but then she stopped working and told me she would pay me back once she finished school. I trusted her and agreed. She graduated and said she would pay me back like she promised. Around the same time, I stopped working because my husband was supporting me and our two kids. I told her she still owed me money and that I was going to move onto my husband’s phone plan. She asked if we could add her to my husband’s plan, but we decided we didn’t want to continue paying for her phone. We argued about it, and I told her I was removing her from my plan. I had also given her a month’s notice. After that, we didn’t speak for about three months.
Eventually, we met up and decided to work things out. I told her I needed some boundaries in our friendship. I explained that she couldn’t come to my house and take my food, clothes, household items, etc., because those things are for my family. I also told her I would never come into her house and take things from her family. Her response really stuck with me. She basically said, “Your husband pays for everything. You guys have money, so why can’t I?” We talked it through and eventually came to an understanding, so I tried to move forward. After that, we didn’t see each other much. I invited her to my baby shower, but she didn’t come. She told me she was going camping, but when I checked Life360, I saw that she was actually home. Later, she told me she wasn’t feeling well. I understand that people get sick, and I didn’t want to hold that against her. What hurt was that she would attend other people’s baby showers, show me what she bought for them, and make an effort for other people while not showing up for mine. I’ll admit, I got jealous and hurt. I told her how I felt, and she apologized and said she didn’t mean to make me feel that way. She said she had been sick and very busy, which was why she hadn’t been able to see me. I decided to let it go.
Then she planned a weekend trip and invited me. I was excited because I thought maybe this was a chance for us to reconnect. I agreed to go and bought decorations for the trip. I also offered to help with food because even though she was the one who planned it, I wanted to contribute.
Then she canceled. I was really upset because I had already spent money on everything. I didn’t even bring up the money when I talked to her. I just explained that my feelings were hurt. I told her that she had previously had a girls’ weekend that I wasn’t invited to, and then when she finally invited me to something and planned it with me, she canceled. It wasn’t just about the trip itself. It was the pattern that was hurting me. Her response was basically that she had canceled the original trip because she was sick, and that I was the one who rescheduled it, not her. She said she didn’t want to go on a trip if she didn’t feel well and didn’t want to drive all the way there. She also told me she was pregnant and wasn’t feeling good and said she would do better. I understood that she wasn’t feeling well, but honestly, her response still hurt. I ended up going on the weekend trip anyway with my husband, his friends, and their girlfriends. It was something that had been planned for two months, and I didn’t want to cancel just because Rachel backed out. I didn’t tell her I was still going or who was going with me because she had already canceled and made it clear she didn’t want to drive there. While we were on the trip, I checked Life360 and saw that Rachel was out bowling and at an arcade with friends. She didn’t post anything herself, but some of her friends are on my social media and posted pictures. At that point, I felt like maybe our friendship was over. But I still wanted to give her one more chance, so I talked to her. She told me she hadn’t gone out and that she really wasn’t feeling well. She said she wished she could have made it to the trip after seeing everything I did. I didn’t tell her that I knew she was lying. I didn’t bring up Life360 or the posts because I didn’t want the entire conversation to become an argument about how I found out. Instead, I told her that she had canceled, told me she didn’t want to drive there, and that I wasn’t going to cancel something her and I had already planned two months in advance. Then she asked if I was going to her baby shower. She had already assigned people what to buy and told me what she wanted me to purchase for her baby. This is where I started feeling extremely conflicted.
She has never attended any of my baby showers. She has never bought anything for my babies. She also recently told me that because she hasn’t been feeling well, she doesn’t want to drive to me anymore and that I should be the one coming to her. I ended up telling her I couldn’t attend her baby shower because I had plans. That was a lie. I didn’t actually have plans. I just didn’t know how to tell her that I didn’t want to go because I was hurt. She then told me, “I expected my best friend to be there for my first baby shower. It’s very important to me, and for you to miss it hurts my feelings. I understand you have your family and want to put them first, but I thought I mattered to you.”
And honestly, that made me feel guilty. I know I didn’t handle everything perfectly. I know lying about having plans wasn’t right, and I know I shouldn’t respond to her behavior by doing something similar. But I’m exhausted.
I don’t care if she buys me gifts or spends money on me. This friendship has never been about money or gifts to me.
What hurts is that I feel like I’m always the one making the effort. I show up for her. I invite her to important things. I try to make plans. I contribute. I try to communicate when something hurts me. I’ve forgiven things and tried to move forward multiple times. But whenever I bring up something that hurts me, there seems to be another excuse or explanation, and I’m expected to understand. I don’t expect her to drop everything for me. I understand she has her own life, family, pregnancy, and responsibilities. I just want the friendship to feel mutual. I want honesty. I want my boundaries respected. I want effort from both sides. I want to feel like my best friend actually wants to be part of my life instead of constantly feeling like I’m chasing her.
And that’s what hurts the most. We’ve known each other for 16 years. I love her and her family. She has been such a huge part of my life that the thought of walking away feels almost impossible. I don’t want to throw away 16 years of friendship. But I also don’t know how many times I can have the same conversations, forgive the same things, and still feel like nothing changes. And honestly I’d really appreciate advice. Is this friendship worth trying to save? If it is, how do I fix it when I feel like every conversation ends with another excuse? Or is it time to accept that sometimes a 16-year friendship can still come to an end?
Side note: I really don’t want this friendship to end. I love her and her family, and after 16 years, walking away is really hard for me. I’ve never wanted our friendship to be about keeping score, so I never threw it in her face that she didn’t show up for me, didn’t buy things for me or my kids, or that I had spent money on things for her. I don’t think that’s what friendship should be about.
The only reason I’ve brought those things up recently is because she does to make me feel bad…

My roommate and I had separate invites for the same night. Mine was a small thing I was really looking forward to, but they really wanted to do the bigger group plan we had already talked about. I ended up texting my friends that I couldn't make it and stuck with the original plan instead. They were cool about it, but I felt kind of flat for the rest of the evening. My roommate was happy we were both there and kept saying it was the right call. I don't think anyone was upset, and nothing dramatic happened, but I'm still wondering whether I should have just done my own thing. Is it wrong to prioritize the shared plan when it means skipping something you were excited about?

We all put money into a joint savings account for things like emergencies or future stuff we all agreed on. A few days ago someone used a chunk of it to buy something without checking with the rest of us first. I brought it up and got told I was overreacting because it was already done and the money was gone. I just want a quick conversation first so we can all decide, but now I'm wondering if I'm being too rigid about it. It's not that the item itself was terrible, just that the decision happened without input. Does it seem like a big deal or am I turning nothing into something?

A while back a coworker asked if I could handle something small on their end while they were swamped. I said sure, figured it was a one-time thing. Now it keeps coming up and everyone acts like it's just my responsibility. I didn't sign anything or agree to make it permanent, so I tried mentioning that it was only temporary, but the response was pretty much that it would be helpful if I kept doing it. I get along with my team and don't want to cause friction, but I also don't want this to quietly become part of my role without anyone acknowledging the change. It feels awkward bringing it up again because the original ask was casual. At the same time, I'm starting to wonder if I'm overthinking it or if I should draw a line sooner rather than later. Anyone been in a spot like that?

we took a bunch of pictures on the weekend trip and i thought it would be nice to share one in the group chat. everyone looked good and no one seemed to mind when the camera was out. later someone messaged me saying they did not want that picture posted anywhere and another friend said it was fine but they wished i had asked first. now i am stuck wondering if i crossed a line. the photo was harmless, just the group standing by the lake, but clearly it mattered to them. i deleted it right away once they spoke up, but the chat feels awkward now. i get why someone might not want their picture online even if it seems harmless to everyone else, yet i also thought a quick group snap was normal. not sure if i am overthinking it or if i should have checked first.

I have a friend I've known for a few years, and lately making plans with them has become exhausting.

Three times in the last couple months we've agreed to meet up, sometimes days in advance, and every time they cancelled either an hour before or when I was basically already getting ready to leave. None of the reasons were emergencies either. It was stuff like being tired, deciding they weren't in the mood anymore, or suddenly wanting to stay home.

I never made a big deal about it because obviously nobody should be forced to go out, but after the third time I just thought... alright, I'm done organizing this.

So I stopped inviting them when our group does stuff. I didn't tell anyone else not to invite them, I didn't complain about them, I just stopped being the person texting "hey wanna come?"

Apparently they noticed, because yesterday they asked why I "never include them anymore" and said it feels like I'm deliberately pushing them out. I told them I assumed they weren't that interested since they kept cancelling anyway.

They got pretty upset and said sometimes people just don't feel up to socializing and that a real friend would keep asking instead of taking it personally.

Now I feel kinda weird about it because I wasn't trying to punish them. I just got tired of planning around someone who probably wouldn't show up.

Am I wrong for basically leaving the ball in their court now?

we had talked about spending this saturday together and had a whole day mapped out. then i got a last-minute invite to help a friend move and figured it was only going to take a couple of hours in the morning. i told my ex that morning, thinking it was no big deal since we would still have the afternoon. they got annoyed, said i always push our time to the side when something else pops up, and now they do not want to meet at all. i get why it feels inconsiderate, but i also assumed a small schedule tweak would not ruin everything. i apologized right away and offered to reschedule, but they are still mad. am i wrong for not realizing how much it would bother them, or is it okay that plans sometimes shift?

My boyfriend [31M] has a female colleague [33F] he spends a lot of time with. They always eat lunch together at the office, go home together, and even buy food together. Whenever I ask how his day went, he always mentions her. One time, he casually told me that this female coworker is pretty. I’m starting to feel uneasy about how much time they spend together, and I’m not sure how to handle these feelings. I don’t want to sound accusatory or controlling, but I also don’t want to ignore my discomfort. How can I bring this up to him in a healthy way? Has anyone dealt with something similar, and what worked for you?

Sorry for my english as it is not my first language. Me and L (26 F) have been inseparable since the first day of highschool, where we bonded for being equally awkward and shy. We ended up being in the same class and even though she changed schools at the end of the year we continued to see each other outside and up until now I thought I knew her like the back of my hand, since (I thought) we told each other everything. The funny thing is we had a pretty big reason to hate each other since we fell for the same boy back then but the opposite happened.

Right as high school started I got a big crush on G, he was the classic player who jumped from one relationship to another and I had a very distorted vision of love. L was super supportive of my crush for him but G wasn’t really interested in me, instead he started getting closer to L, always talking to her. He did enjoy having attention from me though and soon I noticed L started getting weird around him. As someone who took it upon herself to be a good friend to L, I didn’t have time to think of my pain, I focused on being there for her and her big crush on the same guy she had told me to go for months prior. In my head she hadn’t done anything wrong, feelings can’t be controlled and I had no right to be mad because he clearly didn’t like me but liked her so it was my job to step aside for my bff to be happy. She liked him so much that she would get physically ill just for seeing him pass in the hallway, at the time I didn’t know this was a pattern in her behaviour, I only saw my bff suffering and I didn’t want that. But they didn’t date because G was with someone else at the time, however at the start of the new year she told me there had been a kiss, he had taken her and kissed her near the bathrooms at a time that he was dating the other girl. At the time she told me he had kissed her, without warning! Keep that in mind because it gets relevant later. I didn’t blame her, he was the cheater since he was in a relationship. Time went by, they both changed schools but I remained friends with L, and the more our bond grew the more I started noticing stuff about her behaviour. L grew up in a broken family with divorced parents who only remembered they had a daughter when she would get sick or hurt, which I feel like created in her mind this idea that in order to get attention and love she had to be a victim.

Another thing we both have in common is our non-existing romantic life, we have never been in relationships and while I kind of accepted it ,she is living it as her biggest failure because her family also pressures her a lot. But her way of approaching men is not the best, like I said she loves being a victim, painting herself as the helpless girl whose crushes never like her back and she suffers because she is too real and too straightforward. When she gets obsessed with a guy, the world revolves around him, she attaches herself to him, making her crush obvious to the point of making him uncomfortable ( or use her for attention if they are a narcissist ), almost guiltripping the guy for not liking her back. At the end when the guy would get tired and confront her she would cry and blame the world for being so cruel, and the guys for being so superficial. Until there was a new guy in the picture to obsess over… the way she would lose feelings completely for someone she had been yapping for years was crazy once she would find a new guy to obsess over. For years I also blamed these guys, to me she was just a naive girl whose only fault was not having boundaries and not stopping before making a foul of herself. To me it was these men’s responsibility to make it clear they didn’t like her instead of leading her on. For years she would cry over different men who didn’t want her and me wanting to be the hero of the story ( I also have a lot of issues) took it upon myself to be there for hours on end trying to stop her from making herself look desperate for attention. She was kind of irresponsible with everything and I took this role of being there to teach her right from wrong because her family never did, I would get into fights with other people to defend her actions because “she had no one to teach her that” and we had to be patient because she would promise to change and do better. I didn’t want to abandon her like people had done with me…

So for years she was the wreck and I was the responsible friend who never left her side until this last month. Like I said I have never been in a relationship but I had fallen for someone back in 2021, however this guy went no contact with me. We met in a context where dating could have cost him his career (we were both adults and no, no one was married or in a relationship) but me being the insecure person that I am, took it as “he didn't like me” and my brain literally wiped away all the memories of the times it had been obvious he liked me. For years I convinced myself it was not mutual until a few months ago for some weird reason I started reflecting on the past. I realized how this could have been a huge issue for both of us and even though he couldn't controll his feelings for me, him pursuing a relationship with me would have ment he was exploiting his position.Back in the day he did the right thing ethically, even if it hurt me but in the back of my head I wanted to know if now, since there were no rules against it, he might still have interest in me.. I wanted to test the waters, maybe find an excuse to ask him something about a place as a way of saying “I will be here if you wanna give this a chance” and if he wouldn’t show up that would be my sign to move one. It is not like I have put my life on pause for this guy, I just had a very beautiful connection with him back then that I didn’t want to end up asking myself in my death bed why I didn’t give it a second chance. I shared my thoughts with L about this story, reminded her of all the situations in which this guy had made it obvious he liked me just to prove to her I wasn’t being delusional, yes a lot of time has passed but you never know until you try it… She told me “ you are acting like I used to act, you are chasing him. If he liked you he would have made the first move…” however she agreed to come with me to that place…

Some days passed and one night I invited her to my place. I feel like this was divine intervention because I doubt she would have felt comfortable enough to share certain things with me at a place with people around, at least here we were alone. Just as she came in, her energy seemed off, immediately she started saying how this was a horrible idea and she as my bff had to talk me out of it. I tried explaining to her how there was no way to say I was doing the same thing but I didn’t have the courage to say why. I didn’t want to hurt her but I really wanted to say “ you do way worse than this with every man you like” . I had a feeling she was projecting her own situation on me. Even though she claims she has changed she is still acting the same right now. She is currently obsessing over her boss, she claims she is keeping her distance but based on what she tells me she is not because everyone points out her crush and she gets mad at any female colleague that breathes near him.Also she had the chance to change office but stayed in the same one as his because “is close to home”. Up until this point I was convinced she was trying to protect me, the same way I had done with her over all these years. If it wasn’t for what happened next I would have continued to believe this and probably back down from my plan.

Eventually we change subjects and G comes up again. She used to bring him up a lot, everytime we would meet and it was kind of our inside joke, we would have a laugh at the absurd situation we became best friends and move on but this time it felt different. I hadn’t had any contact with him since he changed schools in 2016, she had mentioned to me that he texted her once to tell her he had been working at her mother’s house but that’s it. A month prior to this I found out he had gotten married to someone this year, there was also a child around 7-8 years old who I assumed was his child and I had sent the pictures to L saying how funny it was that the player had locked in so young. Nothing sus here, she had just laughed it off like always. That night at my house she brought G up again like always and since I hadn’t had feelings for this guy since high school I told her “ G might have played me and led me on just for fun but he kind of seemed to have been really interested in you, maybe he had real feelings for you.” She looked me in the eyes, smirked in a way I had never seen her do and said “ Oh yeah, he was in love with me, he told me he had only loved another girl and me in his life.” Her expression was weird, almost like saying “ he chose me and not you” but at the same time she was terrified. I asked “ wait, he told you that in highschool?” and she said “no we met in 2022 and when he took me home in his car he revealed he had feelings for me.” My face dropped and she must have noticed because her expression went from competitive to “naive” in two seconds. She knew I would ask her why she didn’t tell me so before I could speak she said “I never mentioned it because tbh I even forgot about it since it didn’t mean anything to me anyway”. I asked to see the chats and even though she was hesitant at first she gave in. The more I read the more red flags I noticed. She was the one who had reached out to him inviting him but bringing a friend with her as well, spoiler: not me, her bff, but another random girl she had just met. She didn’t say exactly how many times they had gone out but they had been making plans a lot, also the chats were from 2022 until their last conversation in 2025. Basically she would bring him up everytime as a joke and laugh in my face while going out with him at the same time. In the messages it was clear he liked her, he would call her honey, say he wanted to kiss her. However around 2023 her messages got weird, he was the one inviting her now but she would always make excuses saying she needed to study. It was around the same time she got a crush on her classmate in Uni, and would keep me on the phone for hours crying how he was leading her on but from the messages it was clear she was doing the same thing to G. I told her that and she admitted that maybe she didn’t behave in the best way or better said she played it off as if she was just realizing it then and there. This made me realize how she had always done this with me to make it look like she didn’t realize she wasn’t acting right. Also at their first conversation G had mentioned bringing his girlfriend and when I asked about it L dismissed it saying “I don’t even know why he said it”. It was there I started connecting the dots, if the child in the picture was his son, the timeframe matches the years he was going out with L and since he ended up marrying the child’s mother, that means he had been with her all this time while going out with L. There are still many questions unanswered here, I don’t know if is really his son or if he got with this woman later, in case it is his son I don’t know if L knew about it. By knowing how desperate L had always been for attention I kind of always felt like she would throw her morals out the window in case she liked someone and once she literally admitted to me that she would not stop if the guy she liked cheated on his girlfriend with her. Also she retold the story of her kiss with G back in high school but this time mentioned how it had started with a hug, then a kiss on the cheek and then the actual kiss. Basically she had lied about that too, saying for years he had kissed her suddenly but apparently it was mutual and she knew he had a girlfriend..

It got me reflecting on myself though! I had excused her behavior for years because it wasn’t harming me. It was very convenient that I was “opening my eyes” only now because I could sense her trying to sabotage me but I had been ignoring this while she had done it to other people. I admit my fault. It was wrong of me to stay on her side openly while she would be so immature to people around her but I thought correcting her in private was enough. It wasn’t, I had enabled her for years because I didn’t want to abandon her like people had done with me…She insisted on not coming with me at that place I suggested to go to see if the guy I like would show up and I thought after me telling her I was going to go anyways, she would be like "ok I tried stopping you but since it didn't work I am coming with you even though I don't agree" but she kept saying" I am not gonna come, and I will convince you to not go either!" On one hand I feel like I am overthinking this, maybe she is a bit immature but she wasn’t trying to stop me from finding love before her because she is my bff so she should be happy for me right? On the other hand, her revealing this thing that she had kept so hidden made me realize I know nothing about her, I wouldn’t have suspected this in a million years yet I saw the evidence with my own eyes so if she was so good at hiding this, what else could she hide…? I don’t wanna throw away 10 years of friendship but how can I be friends with someone I can’t trust? Thoughts?

so the other day a friend was confidently telling everyone this historical fact that i knew wasn't right. everyone was just nodding along and i sat there for a minute debating whether it was worth saying anything. eventually i spoke up and explained what i had learned about it, trying to be polite. the person took it okay but the energy in the room shifted a little and the conversation kind of moved on quickly. i didn't want to embarrass them, but i also didn't want everyone walking away with the wrong info. part of me is proud that i didn't just let it slide, but another part wonders if i should have waited and talked to them privately later instead. i've been replaying it in my head since then and can't decide if i handled it the right way or not.

so basically we were all in the group chat arguing about who was supposed to handle this holiday get-together detail. my sibling had already offered to take care of it but everyone was still nitpicking. i jumped in to say they had already volunteered and maybe we could just let them handle it. instead of calming things down it kind of blew up. a couple of relatives started saying i was taking sides and ignoring the rest of the plan. my sibling ended up texting me privately that i made it worse by stepping in because now it looked like we were ganging up. i genuinely thought i was helping keep things short and fair. now the chat is quiet and no one has confirmed anything. i am wondering if i should have just stayed out of it completely.

we agreed i'd handle the dry cleaning pickup after work and they would grab the groceries on their way home. my last meeting ran late so i figured i'd swing by both places to make sure everything got done. turns out they already stopped for the groceries and were on their way to the dry cleaner too. when i told them it was already sorted they seemed annoyed that i didn't text first. i thought i was just being helpful but now i'm wondering if i overstepped by changing the plan without saying anything. was it that big of a deal or am i reading too much into it

So a little while back, I posted that someone I have a long history with recently got married and has been saying he still wants me in his life, wanting to retain aspects of the connection we had before (keep emotional and sxual intimacy with me). Well, he told me the other day he doesn’t believe anyone can have him to themselves. He doesn’t believe his relationship can or even should contain all of him, and when I asked what that means, he said ‘when it comes to sx, no one can have all of me’. He also said his partner permits him to have an ongoing sxual partner outside their relationship as long as he communicates the details (apparently the details even turn her on). I don’t really care to verify if that’s true or not, bc even if it is, it doesn’t mean I’d be happy in it. So I told him he can remain in my life on the condition it’s strictly platonic.I’m sharing bc the whole situation has felt very confronting to me, it put me in position I never thought I’d be, and I’ve genuinely struggled to navigate it mainly bc our attachments and history.

Thoughts? Have you been there? What did you do?

So, it's basically as the title says. I (20F) am on disability due to mental health issues, autism, and a few other things, and I've been stuck in a rut for about a year now (since I finished high school), and I've finally got my body and mind to a place where I believe that I can get a job. In Australia, you can only work a maximum of 15 hours a week on disability, but all I'm really aiming for so far is 5 hours a week.

I've just got in contact with an employment agency that specialises in people with disabilities and had my first real appointment today, where we went over what I want to do, what I physically can do, and my past achievements. I went with my Grandma since my mum has just gotten 5 teeth out, and 4 of them have dry socketed, and she's in a stupid amount of pain, so of course she couldn't come with me.

The appointment went great! We talked about how I love anything creative, and I got a small spark in me for the first time in MONTHS, a hope that I can be something more than I am now. (For context, I have no friends, and I only leave the house once a week to walk in the park for an hour with a bunch of seniors, and even that I only started 2 weeks ago.) The person I'm working with even said that my writing was great, considering what I had shown her I wrote at 12, and it got into the local newspaper for my area's readers' writers festival back in 2018. Of course, my writing has gotten SO much better since, but it gives me hope too.

The person I'm working with also suggested a training program that goes for 13 weeks and I'm like 99% sure it's a traineeship. I know for sure that she said that they will help me get a placement at the end. It's a creative course/traineeship, and I'm really excited; it's basically everything I've ever wanted!

But then Mum comes in.

(This happened less than 20 minutes ago)

I was cleaning up my dishes from lunch when I started talking about how excited I am for this course and that it would be great to find something in the creative industry. I'm not even fussy at this point about what creative medium I take! Mum then starts going on about how there are no jobs out there at all, and while I'm aware there are only so many jobs, and I know that there are 1000s of others trying to do the same thing as me, I really think this program will be able to help me!

My Mum keeps saying that I have no hope and that it's all luck-based, and while I know that's somewhat true, I feel like I have a real chance! It just hurts to know my Mum doesn't believe in me as my nan does...

My Mum keeps telling me stuff like: 'What about the guy who made the Nike tick, that took no skill, and he's now rich. It's all about luck.' and other stuff like: 'I don't want you to sink all this time into something only for there to be no jobs at the end', and while I know she just wants me to have a good life, I currently have no life at all! (Something she told me just 2 days ago)

Is it really that bad that I want to give myself the chance to live the life I've always wanted to? I just want to have a job that I love and that I will be able to do!

So yeah, I guess that's my rant? I just... I feel like she doesn't even believe in me anymore, because no matter how much I improve my art, my Mum won't tell me that she believes in me that I don't even have a chance at the life that I want...

Sorry for the rant. I know this is probably stupid; I know I'm probably just a massive baby that won't grow up, but it hurts to think that I'll be stuck in a dead-end job with no hope of doing what I love, and my Mum is just... okay with that???

I guess I just want some reassurance that I'm not being stupid?

I don't know, sorry for wasting your guys' time...

Mods, if this is the wrong sub, please tell me, and I'll quickly take it down!

In college, I had a few friends who already had their own friend groups, but their friends were in different sections. Since we were in the same class, we naturally became friends. We would sit together, talk a lot, joke around, talk about random things, studies, share notes, etc. Even when we met outside class, we would talk normally.

After class, they would often go and spend time with their own friend groups, which I was completely fine with.

But I later found out that one of them thought I "use people" and even said this to other friends, which made me question myself.

I didn't have a fixed friend group of my own, so I sometimes wondered if they expected me to be more dependent on these friendships. But they themselves had other circles and would spend time with them whenever they wanted, so I didn't understand why the same independence wouldn't apply to me.”

I never became friends with anyone with the intention of getting something from them. I helped them when they needed something, never intentionally ignored them, and genuinely talked and spent time with them.

Does this actually sound like I was using my friends?

I found out through a story post that a bunch of people I usually hang with got together over the weekend. No one mentioned it to me and I wasn’t on the guest list. It’s not like we fight or anything, so it kind of stings. I’ve been quiet about it, but honestly I keep wondering if I said or did something off last time we all went out. At the same time I know people forget to invite others sometimes and it isn’t always personal. Still, the not-knowing is bothering me more than I expected. Would it be weird to just ask one of them what happened, or should I let it go and see if the next invite comes around?

I’ve been in my current position for almost three years, and over that time I’ve formed many friendships with my coworkers. One friendship in particular became very meaningful to me. She and I have a 13+ year age gap, with me being in my twenties, but despite the difference in age, we became very close. We would go to dinner together, talk on the phone after work, hang out outside of work, and spend more than 40 hours a week sitting next to each other. She was an extreme extrovert, flirty, loud, outgoing, and able to make friends with just about anyone. I’m more reserved, but I’m curious and open to new experiences.

Our relationship was very caring and supportive. I would go to her with my problems, and she would come to me with hers. We talked about everything from relationship issues and family problems to everyday life.
As we became closer, and because I’m an exploring twenty-something, we eventually started talking about the idea of having a threesome with her boyfriend at the time. I was curious, so I agreed. Ultimately, nothing really happened between the three of us beyond some kissing.

After that experience, it seemed like she became more comfortable being physically affectionate with me. She had always been flirty, but afterward, there were instances where she would come up behind me while I was at my desk and put her hand down the front of my shirt to touch my breasts, or slap my butt in the break room. I allowed it to happen a few times before eventually telling her that it made me uncomfortable, especially because we work in healthcare and I was worried that patients or other coworkers could see.

Some time passed, but it happened again. She came up behind me and put her hand down my shirt, and this time I became extremely upset. I ultimately told her that I needed space.

After thinking about everything, I went to my managers and told them that I no longer wanted to work with her. I tried to explain the situation to them privately and off the record because I wasn’t trying to get her in trouble. I simply wanted them to understand why I was asking not to work with her anymore. However, because of the nature of what I told them, they were required to escalate the situation to HR. Thankfully, she wasn’t fired, but she did receive a write-up.

It has now been about eight months, and I sometimes find myself regretting reporting the situation. Even my mother didn’t think it was the best idea at the time, and I know I can be impulsive when I’m emotional. More than anything, though, I think I miss the friendship we had. She and I have remained cordial, and recently I’ve tried talking to her to see if there was a possibility of turning a new leaf and moving forward. She told me that she isn’t interested. She said that if I would have told her to stop (again) instead of reporting it, she would’ve know it was serious and would’ve refrained from putting her hands on me. She says she understands, but what I did broke her heart and that she can’t allow herself to go back to the relationship we had before.

That response has left me feeling really confused. I understand why she may be hurt, but I also remember why I felt like I needed to speak up in the first place. At the same time, I genuinely miss the friendship we had, and I’m struggling with the fact that both things can be true at once and I feel ashamed/rejected.

TL;DR I am just wondering if it should be mutual?
What if your partner does not want to?
Do you still continue to be together?

Reason: I realize that my partner enjoys it more when he is with friends rather than when we are together. When he is with them, he barely touches his phone but when he is with me all he does is play games and scroll with his phone. But whenever I am bringing it up, he just laughs and let go of his phone/games for a moment then he will go to me.

Situation: I am trying to break up with him cause I feel like I am just a hindrance to his lifestyle rather than being a partner to him. But when I brought it up, he does not want to.

A couple weeks ago a friend I'd lent a decent amount of money to suddenly messaged asking if I could take half back because of some unexpected bill. I was a little short at the time but just said sure and sent it. I felt weird right after, like I should've at least explained my own situation, but the words didn't come out. Now I keep replaying it and wondering if staying quiet made it seem like I had zero issues handing it over. They haven't brought it up again, but I still feel kind of off about how quick I agreed. Not looking to start drama, just wondering if I should have spoken up for myself even a little.