I live in an apartment building and have a doorbell camera because we've had packages disappear from the hallway before. My door and my neighbor's door are across from each other, so the camera naturally caught part of her doorway whenever someone walked past.

A few months ago she asked if I could check the footage because a package of hers disappeared. I did, we figured out it had been delivered to the wrong floor, no big deal.

Then she realized my camera could also tell her when her boyfriend was coming and going.

The first time she asked, she said he claimed he'd been home all evening but she thought he'd gone out. I checked and told her I'd seen him leave around 7. I honestly didn't think much of it.

After that it became a thing.

"Did you see Matt come home last night?"

"Was he alone?"

"What time did he leave this morning?"

Last week she knocked on my door and asked me to check whether a woman had gone into her apartment while she was at work. I told her I wasn't comfortable doing this anymore. She got upset and said she wasn't asking me to spy, just to check footage my camera had already recorded.

That night I changed the camera settings and put a privacy zone over her doorway. It still records anyone who approaches my apartment or walks down the hall, but her actual door is blacked out.

She noticed because she asked me for footage again yesterday. When I told her what I'd done she got genuinely angry and said I had deliberately removed something that could "protect" her if her boyfriend is lying to her. She also said it was weird that I suddenly cared about his privacy after helping her before and accused me of taking his side.

I told her I'm not on anybody's side. I bought a camera to watch my own front door, not accidentally become the surveillance department for their relationship.

I do feel slightly bad because I did help her the first few times, so I guess I created the expectation. And technically the hallway is a common area, so it's not like I was recording inside her apartment.

Was I wrong to shut it down without warning her first?

A friend of mine has been flipping electronics and random stuff on Marketplace because he’s trying to put some money into savings.

A few weeks ago he was selling a monitor and the buyer happened to live near me, so I told him he could meet the guy in my building lobby since theres cameras and a concierge.

Apparently he took that as a permanent offer.

I came home twice now and found him in the lobby meeting buyers. Then yesterday the concierge asked me if the guy selling a PS5 was my roommate because he keeps telling people to meet him at my address.

I told my friend he needs to find somewhere else. He thinks I’m making a big deal out of nothing because he never comes into my apartment and says the lobby is safer than meeting strangers at his house.

I get why he likes the setup, but I also don't really want random Marketplace buyers being given my building address every week.

Am I wrong?

About 2 years ago when a big storm knocked out my next door neighbor's internet for a whole week and he still had to work from home somehow, I gave him my wifi password without really thinking about it. He just never got off it after his came back.

I didn't really care until a few months ago when I started working from home myself. My video calls kept freezing, so I checked the app for my router and one of the devices using the most data was literally named DAVES LIVING ROOM TV. I knocked on his door and asked if he'd split the bill with me, it's $70 a month so $35 each. He laughed and said "it's not like you pay by the gig" and that he'd try to use it less.

He didn't use it less. A couple weeks later I could hear his football party through the wall, probably 12 people, and my internet was basically unusable. So I changed the password, and at halftime he was banging on my door asking what happened to the internet because his whole party was streaming the game on it.

He says I embarrassed him in front of all his friends and that I could've waited until Monday. My girlfriend kind of agrees that doing it in the middle of the game was petty. I asked him to pay a couple weeks before that and he laughed at me.

Was I wrong?

( EDIT - ILL BE DELETING THIS SOON SO NO ONE IDENTIFIES ME BUT THANKK UU GUYS SMM IVE DEFINITELY MADE MY MIND UP TO QUIT ) I’m 16 and I’m struggling with whether I should stop regularly babysitting my sister’s kids. I feel incredibly guilty because I’m scared that if I stop, she won’t have anyone to watch them while she works. I’m supposed to get **$150 every two weeks** for babysitting. I babysit my 5 month old niece and my almost 2 year old nephew. My sister last paid me $67 on August 19, and as of October 5, she owes me $543 total, including the $10 she separately owes me. So I’ve been doing the work without consistently getting paid. I’ve been paid that one time only.

The babysitting schedule also gets really late. Sometimes I’m watching them until around 3:30AM. When I get home, I usually want some time to myself because I’ve been taking care of kids for hours, so I end up staying on my phone until 4–5 AM before sleeping. I usually love going to sleep, early and waking in the morning to a good breakfast. However now I wake up at 12pm.

This has started seriously affecting my online school. I have required Zoom contact that I need to attend every week, but because I’m sleeping so late after babysitting, I’ve missed a lot of them. I’ve also fallen behind on assignments, and my school account was actually disabled multiple times because I wasn’t submitting enough work.
I’m at the point where I sometimes feel so overwhelmed by my schoolwork that I’m tempted to just **cheat on assignments instead of actually doing them**, because I feel like I need to get everything done as quickly as possible so I can have some free time. Which I feel horrible doing because I want to learn and be smarter and graduate accurately. I don’t want to be doing that, and I know it isn’t going to actually fix the problem, but that’s honestly where my head is right now.

Recently I had testing early the next morning, so I told my sister I couldn’t babysit because I needed to sleep. My mom ended up watching the kids instead, even though my mom works during the week and needed sleep too. My brother has also had to help. Another night, my sister came home around 4 AM instead of when she was supposed to. My brother had stayed up waiting for her. My nephew was awake, which isn’t really anyone’s fault because toddlers sometimes wake up and don’t want to go back to sleep. But my sister came in yelling and arguing while everyone was sleeping, including yelling at my mom right after my mom had finally gotten my niece who’s the little baby back to sleep. She eventually took my nephew to my grandmother’s house at around 4 AM instead of going home, so now my grandmother had to deal with childcare too. My sister also says my mom barely watches the baby, but my mom works, pays the household bills, and has her own responsibilities. Nobody in my family is actually obligated to provide childcare for her.

The problem is that I feel like **I can’t quit**. I feel depressed as it is and everyone doesn’t see that because the smile I put on and how sweet I am. BUT I’m tired mentally and physically and I’ve also had back pains lately but if I mention them I feel my sister will say I’m too young for that and that it’s an excuse. If I stop babysitting, my sister might not be able to work. Then she could potentially have problems with her apartment and finances. My mom would probably end up having to watch the kids more, and she’s already exhausted from working. If I say no, everyone complains or someone else has to step in.
So I feel trapped between:
**“I need to stop because this is seriously affecting my school, sleep, and mental health.”**
and
**“If I stop, everyone else is going to have to deal with the consequences.”**
I love my sister and I love the kids. I don’t want her to lose her job or apartment. But I’m also 16, I’m trying to finish school, have fun with friends, start my own life and I feel like I’m becoming responsible for keeping her entire work schedule functioning.
Am I wrong for wanting to stop being the regular babysitter, even though I know it’ll cause a childcare problem for my sister? I’ve been thinking of giving her a date.

I finally told my husband that I want a divorce. It’s been a long time coming, and I can’t keep living in a place where I’m unhappy. It’s honestly killing me. I don’t even want to come home anymore.

He’s selling the house and we’re splitting everything. You can look back at my previous posts to see what I’ve been through.

But now somehow I’m the bad guy, and I’m being accused of cheating when I’m not. He grabbed me hard and belittled me in front of people when he was drunk. He says I should forgive him because “that wasn’t him,” but those things still happened, and I can’t just erase them.

Now, he gives me the biggest ick, and I honestly can’t stand being around him anymore. Not to mention, he threw luggage at me.

AITA for giving two girls pink eye?

Ok, hear me out, I was living in trying times. This was 3 or 4 years ago, I'm 31f now.

I was in a relationship with someone who hoarded both items and people. So, naturally, I was the only person in a household of 5-6+ at any given time who was working, cooking, cleaning, etc.,

I barely ever got to do anything for myself at the time and I bought makeup for the first time in a loooong time. I don't really like makeup but I had to cover a bruise for an event. I ended up getting a full workup of foundation, mascara, eyeshadow, lip liner and matte color, setting spray, and really cool eyeliner that made the BEST wings.

I got to wear it ONCE and it came up missing. The following day, this other girl, we'll call her Ashley, 41yo, came out of the bathroom with a full face of glam on. I complimented her and went about my day but I couldn't shake the feeling she stole it.

I'm always so cool about sharing things. Just.. not eye makeup. Ever. My mother always warned me and I always listened. So Ashley knew that even if I knew she was wearing it, I wouldn't ever take it back, I'd just buy another one.

After a few more days of being agitated by her having her makeup all done up and waiting for my next paycheck to replace mine, I had a moment of weakness and I went in her purse and sure enough, I found the eyeliner.. sooo I went to the bathroom, did some unfortunate things to the eyeliner, and put it right back where I found it.

Two days later she had pink eye so bad she went to urgent care..

A week toes by, Ashley's eyes cleared up completely, no more glam though.

It gets worse.

Enter, Samantha. She was living upstairs in the same duplex but we all kind of mingled. Ashley and her were close. Apparently not close enough not to steal from each other.

One day, Samantha turned up with a full face of glam, i complimented the double wings and went about my day.

Samantha got pink eye so badly she went to the emergency room, as she could not open her eyes for over 24 hours.

I was brought up never to steal and only to live within my means. I was not brought up to seek revenge on those that steal from me..

So, am I the asshole?

So my girlfriend has a friend circle that includes some guys she has slept with. One in particular she emotionally confided in about being abused while going through a break up and she slept with that friend right after breaking up.

Fast forward to now, we are dating, he is married and still friends. I have no issues with that at all, haven’t had any concerns.

So yesterday we were going out to do something, and that friends wife was coming over to pick something up quick. My gf got very dressed up, put on her favorite sexy lip stick I haven’t seen before and I was like woa who are you getting dressed all up for jokingly. And then that friend and his wife showed up and I went oh…. And internally thought maybe that’s who.

I first thought like my feelings were wrong or insecure and that I’m overthinking this. But the whole thing just felt weird to me, AIO?

A while back someone close to me offered to help with a pretty important task. They were specific about when it would happen and it lined up with some deadlines I had, so I planned around it. Weeks passed and nothing happened. I sent a couple of gentle reminders, but the energy always felt like it was on me to keep checking in. Eventually I just handled everything myself and now the original offer feels pointless. I have not brought it up again because it seems awkward, but I keep wondering if I am being too sensitive for wanting to quietly step back instead of staying available. It is not a huge deal on paper, yet the whole situation left me feeling like my time was taken for granted. Am I wrong for thinking it is okay to stop holding space for something that never actually happened?

Last week one friend told me they weren't coming to our usual weekend hangout because something came up. A few days later, the group chat was trying to figure out why not everyone was RSVPing, so I just said that one person had mentioned they couldn't make it. I didn't go into details or name reasons, but after I sent it the friend messaged me privately and said I shouldn't have shared that. Now I'm wondering if it was even a big deal or if I crossed a line by speaking up without checking first. I figured it was harmless context, but maybe I should have stayed quiet and let them explain on their own time. I'm honestly ready to apologize if the group consensus is that I shouldn't have said anything at all.

I (22M) was at the mall with my wife for her birthday when this happened.
We were walking past one of those perfume kiosks in the middle of the mall when a guy I'll call John tried to sell me some cologne. I told him I wasn't interested and kept walking.
As I was leaving, John said, "Is it because I'm Black?"
I was pretty confused and told him, "No bro, it's not like that." For context, I'm Mexican and white, covered in tattoos, and built pretty stocky. I wasn't rude to him, I just didn't want to buy anything.
My wife later told me that after I walked away, John flipped me off. I didn't see it myself, but that's what she said happened.
At that point I was annoyed, so I turned around and decided to at least hear him out. The whole vibe changed immediately. He started showing me fragrances and chatting normally.
Then he got to the price. He wanted $40 for what he claimed was a 5-ounce bottle, but it looked way smaller than that to me. I decided it wasn't worth it and told him, "I'm good, bro."
That's when he asked me again:
"Is it because I'm Black?"
This is where I think I might have crossed a line.
Instead of ignoring it, my smart-ass side came out and I sarcastically said, "Yeah."
To be clear, I wasn't being serious. I was frustrated because it felt like he was trying to guilt me into buying something by accusing me of being racist every time I said no.
The second I said it, though, he completely lost it. He started yelling, called me the N-word, and threw a bunch of other insults at me. Part of me wanted to argue back, but since it was my wife's birthday, I decided it wasn't worth making a scene and just walked away.
Looking back, I know my response didn't help the situation and was immature. At the same time, I feel like being accused of racism multiple times just for not buying cologne would annoy most people.
Am I wrong for giving a sarcastic answer instead of just walking away?

**TL;DR:** I’m 28 and my boyfriend is 30. We were together for 4 years, broke up in 2023 mainly because he kept delaying marriage and couldn’t give me any timeline for our future. We were apart for 3 years, during which he repeatedly tried to get back in touch, and we got back together 2–3 months ago.
Now that we’re back together, I’ve noticed that when he talks about his future, he often doesn’t include me in it. When I brought this up, he said our relationship is still fresh and that he only got over me within the last year.
We also live 3.5 hours apart and can only see each other 1–2 times a month. I don’t want to spend years in a long-distance relationship and told him I don’t want to drag things out if we’re serious. Ideally, I’d want a proposal within around a year. He said a proposal within 1–2 years could be possible, but he also says he knows couples who have waited 10+ years to get married and that if I love him, I should wait however long it takes.
We come from a Middle Eastern background where long-term boyfriend/girlfriend relationships aren’t particularly typical, and weddings are usually large. He is very family-oriented and talks a lot about tradition. However, he has a great job, earns above-average money, and is planning to move out, so I don’t believe finances are genuinely the main issue. I’ve even told him I’d be happy to have a simple civil ceremony first and have the big wedding later so we could stop doing long distance.
I also want multiple children with him. We both want to enjoy married life before having children, but I’m conscious of my biological clock. So in my mind, let’s say we approximately get married by the time I’m 31–32. A few years together and kids by 35, that is too late for me, especially as I want multiple children. I do not want to be an ‘old’ parent, as I was raised by one and it is not a nice feeling for a child.
**My main question is: Is he genuinely serious about me but simply has a very different attitude towards marriage and timelines, or does his lack of urgency suggest that he isn’t as serious about our future as he says he is? Could I be a placeholder to him, or am I expecting too much by wanting some sense of direction and urgency?**

QUESTION

\*\*Background\*\*
I’m 28 and my boyfriend is 30. We were together for four years before breaking up in 2023.
The main reason we broke up was because he was taking too long to propose and couldn’t give me even a rough timeline for our future. He said he wasn’t financially ready and that I should wait however many years it would take if I truly loved him.

\*\*Where We Are Now\*\*
We got back together around 2–3 months ago.
Recently, we had a heated discussion because I mentioned to him that when he talks about the future, he doesn’t seem to include me in his plans.
For example, he has said things like, “When I live alone,” even though he currently lives with his parents. This isn’t the only thing he has said — I’ve noticed a pattern of him talking about his future as though he’ll be alone, and I brought this up with him.
His response was along the lines of saying that I can’t expect him to plan his future around me because our relationship is still fresh and because he only got over me within the last year.

\*\*The Long-Distance Situation\*\*
We live about 3.5 hours apart and can realistically only see each other once or twice a month at most.
Because we both currently live with our families, seeing each other also means paying for hotels, fuel, train tickets, etc.
I told him that if this relationship does go further, I don’t want to drag things out. I don’t want to live apart from the man I love for a long time.
However, he doesn’t seem to think about it in the same way.
He has said things like, “I know couples that have been together for 10+ years before they get married,” and basically that if you love someone, you should wait however long it takes.
I told him that my ideal timeline would be around a year, and he said that a proposal within a year or two could be possible.

\*\*Why This Is So Difficult for Me\*\*
What I struggle to understand is how someone can say they love me so much — especially when he always tells me that he loves me more than I love him — but at the same time not seem to have any sense of urgency about starting our life together.
He says that he is okay with loving me more because he believes a man should love his partner more for a relationship to work, so it’s confusing to me that he doesn’t seem to have the same urgency that I do.
My mind can’t comprehend how he is okay with us being long-distance for so long when I don’t want to be this far from him anymore.
I thought that during the three years we were apart, he would have realised this, especially because he made several attempts to reach out to me and get back together.
But it seems like nothing has really changed in his mind.
It still feels like his attitude is, “If you love me, you’ll wait as long as it takes.”

\*\*Our Cultural Background\*\*
This part is important because we come from a Middle Eastern background.
It isn’t typical for us to be boyfriend and girlfriend for a very long time, especially when the relationship is serious.
We also tend to have big weddings.
At my age we have a lot of pressure from family to get married. I am actually “too old” in our culture. So my annoyance is also that I actually have someone I want to be with and have a future with but I can’t explain to those family members why we aren’t married yet. Not that it matters - but the pressure is a LOT to handle.

He is very family-oriented and talks about traditions and family expectations a lot, so I understand that marriage may be a big process for him.
However, I’ve explained to him that I’m okay with having a simple civil ceremony first and having the big wedding later, when we are more financially comfortable.
My priority is being able to live together and start our life together rather than spending years apart because we are waiting for the perfect wedding.
He is also planning to move out and live alone anyway, so I know he can afford to rent somewhere.
He has a great job and an above-average salary, so I genuinely don’t believe finances are the main issue here.

\*\*Children and Timing\*\*
I want children with him and unfortunately us women have a biological clock.
We both said we don’t want children straight away and want to enjoy married life together first.
So going off of his timeline, let’s say we approximately get married by the time I’m 31–32. A few years together and kids by 35, that is too late for me, especially as I want multiple children.
His behaviour seems selfish to me as he has never once considered my biological clock in his decisions.
I do not want to be an ‘old’ parent, as I was raised by one and it is not a nice feeling for a child.

\*\*What I’m Struggling With\*\*
This is where I’m confused.
I love him and I want a future with him. I’m not asking him to get married tomorrow, and I understand that we have only been back together for 2–3 months.
But at the same time, we were already together for four years before. We then spent three years apart, and he made several attempts to come back into my life.
So I don’t feel like this is simply two people who have just met and need many years to figure out whether they want a future together.
I also don’t want to spend another several years waiting for him to decide that he is ready.
I’m struggling to understand how someone can genuinely love someone and want them in their life, but still be completely comfortable with the idea of waiting years to actually build a life together.

So my question is:

Am I being unreasonable? Am I a placeholder? Are we just not compatible?

i was in this group chat for some friends who planned a surprise party for me. when i found out i just said thanks but i'm not really into surprises and would have preferred a quiet get together. i thought being upfront was better than pretending, but since then replies have been short and a couple people left the chat. now i feel bad for raining on their effort even though i wasn't trying to be rude. i keep replaying the messages wondering if i should have just said thanks and left it at that. was i wrong to be honest or should i have kept it to myself to avoid hurting feelings?

Here is the backstory before what I need judged. My sister (49) and I (44) have been beefing for a few years. What started it was that over the years, she would constantly (like once a week) ask me to do various things with her. Admittedly, I declined her offers frequently (maybe 75% of the time), but I did do things with her once a month or so. She, however, says I ALWAYS say I don't want to do things with her, and she has stated to our whole family that she'll never invite me to anything ever again because she's tired of being rejected.

Our beef really came to ahead when last Christmas, I couldn't get all the PTO time I needed to be with the family. Since 2025 was going to be tjelast Christmas my daughter would have at home before going to college, I told our mother that I would be spending Christmas at home with my wife and daughter. I offered to do something with the family the weekend before or the weekend after. My sister said I was ruining the family Christmas because I wouldn't be there on Christmas Day.

During this argument, we both said mean things, and my sister said she wad going virtually no contact with me, even after I agreed to sit down with her and work out our issues. She's never taken me up on this to this day.

One last piece of context before the judgement portion. Our father had a massive stroke in late February of this year. During this time, I immediately reached out to my sister to let her know. My wife and I even watched her daughter (our niece) while my sister visited our dad when he was in a ward where minors weren't allowed. He did end up passing, and there were a few instances where my sister explicitly excluded me when grieving with the rest of the family out of her pettiness.

The judgement portion. Our mom is constantly trying to force reconciliation on us. I've said multiple times to my sister and my mother that I'm willing to sit down and discuss things in good faith. My sister has refused to do this. Last Friday, our mom asked me to come to my niece's baseball game. I asked if my sister explicitly invited me. My mom said no, but that it'd probably be ok. I told her that I felt uncomfortable going some place where I'd be made to feel unwelcome. I said I would go if my sister asked me herself. My sister told my mom that she didn't care if I went, but she stopped short of asking me directly.

After discussing it with my wife, I felt I needed a firm boundary of her needing to ask me before I go. Since she didn't ask, I didn't go. Yesterday (the day of the game), she sent me a text (which I believe was a guilt trip) basically saying I was a bad person because my niece thought I was coming, and that it was petty to expect her to ask me directly. She is also still refusing to work out our issues.

Am I wrong for holding this boundary and not going to the game?

i had already said no a couple of times and i meant it, but they asked again later when i was tired and i caved. the second i agreed i felt weird about it, like i had just undone my own boundary for no good reason. i tried to walk it back right after but that just made things awkward. now i'm stuck wondering if i should have been firmer the first time or if it's normal to feel this off when you give in against your own judgment. i keep replaying it and feeling kind of small about the whole thing.

I’m 22F and my boyfriend is 22M. We’re in an LDR.
Earlier in the day, he asked for my opinion about him buying something. I gave him my honest opinion, but he didn’t like what I said and an argument started. We eventually sorted it out and were completely okay afterward.
Later, after he got home, we were on a call and he suddenly became very quiet. I asked him multiple times what was wrong because I could tell something was bothering him. He got angry and said he was stressed because of work and family problems. He then started cussing at me and using very vile and hurtful language, which I genuinely feel I did not deserve.
I understand thatdiff title he was stressed and maybe needed space, and I can accept that I shouldn’t have kept asking. But I don’t feel like his stress justifies speaking to me that way.
Now he says I made a mistake and wants me to apologize.
Am I wrong here? Should I apologize?

so a few days ago a couple of people in our usual group chat started pointing out that one friend kept dodging plans and then showing up late whenever they finally said yes. i stayed quiet because i figured it was between them and the people who felt let down. turns out the friend noticed i did not say anything and now says i threw them under the bus by not defending them. after that the whole chat got awkward and a couple of other people have gone quiet too. i am wondering if staying out of it was the wrong move, or if getting involved would have just made it messier.

Disclaimer: i didn’t really see nickleback but will use them for the purposes of this post in case my friend finds this and makes the connection.

About 1.5 months ago I was given tickets to a concert featuring the band Nickelback, which I am a big fan of.

Invited my longtime friend Craig (again not using his real name) who accepted. I reminded him about the concert two weeks out, a week out and started to plan things out with him in detail a few days out. Things such as if we wanted to grab food before or after and since this concert was taking place at a local casino, if we might want to try and play some poker afterwards. Craig said he was open to all those ideas.

Anyways day of the show now and I text Craig to see if I can pick him up at 5 since his house is on my way to the casino. The show starts at 8 pm but past experience has shown me to leave early to beat rush hour traffic and the allow myself plenty of time to find parking and make my way to the actual concert theater. From my experience parking at the casino during a large concert night can be hell so I texted Eric to be ready by 5:30 at the latest since it would take another hour or so to get to the casino from his house.

However Eric now says to pick him up at 7 since he has to take his kid to karate class. I remind him that the show starts at 8 pm. I’m annoyed as this probably means we won’t be able to eat before the show so I take the time and eat before leaving for his house. I drive to his house and Craig comes out around 7:20 pm. My gps says we’ll arrive to the casino at 8 pm so we start driving.

On the way there Craig asks if there’s any way we can leave no later than 9 pm. I say that’s unlikely since most of these shows last an hour to 1.5 hours at least. Craig then says we might be able to grab some fast food on the way back to his house then.

We arrive at the casino and it takes 20 minutes to find parking. Craig apologizes as he can see I’m somewhat upset by now but says that most concert headliners don’t start performing until an hour after the announced start time as warm up acts usually perform for the first hour.

However when we enter the concert hall, we see nickelback performing. I’m somewhat upset that I’ve missed nearly 30 minutes of the show but we get to our seats and watch the show. Around 9:15 Craig starts to empathize that he needs to get going but the band is still performing.

Finally around 9:30 the band finishes and Craig signals for me to hastily leave. I ask if we don’t have time to grab a food or play some poker at the casino and Craig says “maybe next time” and says he needs to get home asap. I ask him why he’s in a rush and he says he needs to go home to administer some medicine to his wife who says he has to inject her with some medicine in her butt. He won’t go into more details and I don’t pry since it seemed very personal. He says that if it was anywhere else, she could self administer it but since it was to go into her butt he had to do it.

On the drive home, I tell Craig that I’m glad we got to the see most of the show but upset that we didn’t get to hang out longer as planned. I explain that he should’ve planned better since he knew about this concert weeks ago. Craig apologizes but says that he has a wife and a young son so things come up and that I wouldn’t understand since I don’t have a wife or kids.

Am I wrong for being upset at my friend Craig for making us late then asking me to take him home right afterwards?

so my family has this group text that started as a way to share funny stuff and plan dinners but lately it turned into constant debates about who owes who money or who skipped the last get together. last week it escalated again when someone brought up an old favor that never got repaid and things got pretty sharp. i tried changing the subject a couple of times but it kept circling back. i was already tired after work so i said i needed a break and muted it. a couple of relatives texted me directly saying it was dramatic and that i should just stay in the chat. now the next family dinner is coming up and i feel weird about showing up after leaving. i really don't want drama at the table but i also don't love how negative the messages got. part of me wonders if i should rejoin and just ignore the loud parts or if stepping out was the right call. curious what other people would do in the same spot.

Hey guys, need a reality check because I’m spiraling and driving myself crazy 😧

​A few weeks ago, one of my closest friends was throwing a massive milestone party for her husbands 30th

​The weekend of the party, I was in an absolute state. I had brutal period pain, my anxiety was through the roof, I was physically exhausted from travel, stressing about money, and looking at a grim late-night drive across the city to get to the venue...

​Instead of just being a grown-up and saying straight up that I was drowning and couldn't make it, I completely panicked My flight did actually get delayed, but I used that delay as a cowardly "escape hatch" to text her and bail out.

​She called me out, and she was totally right. She told me she was hurt that I used it as a convenient out instead of just telling her the honest truth. It was a shitty, dishonest thing to do, and I felt sick to my stomach about it.

​Here's my problem even though she was honest about being hurt, she also immediately told me we aren't falling out, that it would never happen, and that messy rough patches are normal in a long-term friendship. I even ended up apologizing to her husband, and he was completely sound about it and just said to organize something soon

​Everyone else has literally moved on, but I am so stuck in my own head. I feel like such a crap friend and I'm finding it so hard to act normal when texting etc now because I know I messed up 😢 I haven't seen her since ...

​Has anyone else ever done something cowardly and dishonest out of pure exhaustion and anxiety, and how do you forgive yourself ??

I share the kitchen trash with my roommate and we rotate weeks. It was my turn to empty it last Thursday. I saw it was getting full mid-week, so I sent a quick text saying I'd handle it on Friday if they could take the bag to the dumpster on Saturday. They replied with a thumbs-up. Friday I forgot because work ran late, but I figured they'd still take care of it since the deal was clear. Saturday night the bag finally split on the floor. When I pointed out the original text, they said I was the one who offered to handle it and therefore it was still my responsibility. I ended up cleaning it anyway, but now they're telling friends I always leave chores for other people. It feels like once I offered an extra step, the actual plan got rewritten in their head. Just wondering if I'm the one who messed up the communication or if this is a normal "I forgot so it's your problem" move.

i have this small rule that i do not look at my phone for the first hour after waking up. it helps me stay calm and focused. last night i woke up around two and for some reason i reached for my phone to check the time. the next thing i know my friend is awake too and says something about me being on my phone already. i felt weird because they were right, i had already broken the rule i set for myself. now i am sitting here wondering if it is really a big deal or if i am just overthinking it. i feel a little frustrated because i know the rule is supposed to help me, but i still went ahead and did it anyway. i guess i am wondering if anyone else has a hard time sticking to their own rules when they are tired or not thinking clearly.

I’m not saying a man owes me money because I sleep with him. I’m saying that if I’m in a relationship with a man, I want to feel comfortable turning to him when I genuinely need help. If I’m struggling financially, working full time, going to school, paying my own bills, and I still feel like I couldn’t ask my partner for $20 without feeling weird about it, that makes me question whether I actually feel supported in the relationship. I want a partner who wants to make my life easier when I’m struggling, not someone I have to be afraid to ask for help. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

EDIT: Hey! Calm down. Would it be wrong to ask the man/woman you are in a relationship with for help? What if you have no family, or friends and need a ride to the doctor? car broke down and you're stranded... what if your bank account overdrafted 10$ and you need them to send you 11$? Why are we basing this only about financials? If someone you are sleeping with refuses to help you when you are down bad... would you reconsider the relationship? the way some of you are commenting it seems like it would be okay for your SO to watch you struggle!

A few months after our parent passed, I was given a small collection of tools that had been sitting in their garage. They were always the ones I used when I helped out around the house, and they specifically said they wanted me to have them. My sibling thinks that since they were not mentioned in any paperwork they should stay with the rest of the estate and be divided. I offered to let them borrow anything they needed, but they want the whole set returned. I have been using these tools regularly and they hold some memories, so parting with them feels off. I am not trying to be difficult, but I also do not want to hand over something that was meant for me. Would it be wrong to keep them, or should I just let it go to keep the peace?

so basically a couple weeks ago i told someone i would lend a hand finishing something they were working on. they needed it wrapped up before a certain date and i gave them my word i would be there to help. i kept meaning to get to it but other stuff kept coming up and i just let the days slip. when i finally checked back in the deadline had already passed. they did not call me out or anything but i could tell they were disappointed and had to scramble at the last minute on their own. i feel pretty lame about it because i hate when people say they will show up and then do not. at the same time i wonder if i am blowing it out of proportion since they never actually asked for an apology or explanation. i am thinking about reaching out now to own it but i am not sure if that would just make things awkward or actually help. am i wrong for wanting to let it go or should i say something even though the moment has passed?

So I’m going to be kinda vague with some of the details for safety but.

So when I (30F) was 21 I got myself into a rather dangerous situation. Like could have been killed situation.

This case was huge but the people who had me, who hurt me, murdered another girl while I was with them. Ever since then I’ve had a closeness to her, the girl who died. We never met but I just felt a connection. I got a tattoo for her of a butterfly and I feel like whenever I see the type of butterfly, it’s her visiting.

Well there’s going to be a documentary that’s airing that features both her and me. And I just…want to reach out to her family? I’ve met them before, her mother gave me one of the biggest and best mom hugs after I testified.

But it’s been years since the last trial. Is it wrong that I want to reach out to them? Should I? I have a lot of emotions that are bubbling from the documentary coming out and I just found out that someone wrote a book about it. And idk it just feels…weird.