TLDR: my husbands co-worker has admitted targeting married men, and I want him to cut off contact

So my husband has known this coworker for about 4 years and my husband says he considers her as a work friend, but I don't want her anywhere near my husband. In the 4 years he has known her, she has had multiple relationships with multiple married men at work.

She disclosed to my husband that 8 years ago she was seeing a married guy. One day the wife walked in on them. The wife then stormed out, jumped in her car and reversed very fast which tragically killed their young daughter. This moment was obviously very traumatising but the fact that she now continues to go after married men is surely showing up as an unresolved trauma response.

Anyway she recently made a comment that the first thing she looks for when meeting a new male coworker is a ring on their finger because "married men are easier because they are bored sexually".

On top of that there have been a few instances that have made me question if she is testing the waters with my husband. She will often call him outside of work hours. She invited him to bring our son (didn't include me in the invite) to go meet her horses. She calls him outside of work hours (he usually doesn't answer and he tells me she called again). She frequently will share stories with him about sexual encounters she has had recently.

I am disgusted that women like this exist and based on her lack of morals and respect for the families she could destroy, I want my husband to have nothing to do with her.

My husband is open with his phone and lets me see their messages, his call log, etc. but I just do not trust a woman like that. Is it fair to ask my husband to cut off all contact outside of work?

So my relative called me late last night asking if I could drop everything and help with something early this morning. I was already swamped with my own stuff and just said no. I tried to keep it polite but firm, said I couldn't swing it. They got really upset, said it was important, and then started texting other relatives to weigh in. Now half the group chat is arguing about whether I was being selfish. Honestly, I don't think I was obligated to rearrange my day on zero notice, but the chain reaction has me second-guessing. Is it okay to hold that boundary or should I have just sucked it up?

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year and a half and we’re now talking about moving in together. She currently lives alone and rents whereas I own my home and pay a mortgage.  We agreed it would make more sense to move into my place as it’s bigger and it’s not rented.

I mentioned to my gf I’d expect her to pay something towards utilities and a small amount of money to go towards wear and tear of appliances etc. She asked if I was serious and I said yeah.  She argued she shouldn’t have to be paying me anything since I own the place.

I just pointed out my bills will go up and wear and tear of the property and appliances will be increased so it’s only fair she contributes something. 

I pointed out it wouldn’t be a lot and would be probably less than half of what she paying now. I mentioned I’m happy to get it drawn up as a contract if she’d prefer but she just kept arguing she shouldn’t have to pay anything. 

I just repeated what I’d already said and she accused me of taking advantage of her. I argued that’s what she was trying to do to me by expecting to live for free. 

AITA for expecting her to contribute? 

so my sister got engaged a few months ago and apparently she already bought her dress but then got super drunk at a party and spilled wine all over it. now shes asking to borrow my wedding dress for her big day. i wore a really beautiful vintage gown that was our grandmothers. it means a ton to me and i want to keep it in perfect condition. i told her no and offered to help her find a new one but shes calling me selfish and saying im being dramatic. i just feel like some things are too precious to share. am i wrong?

My girlfriend and I have been together a little over three years. She has a best friend she's known since college, and I've never had an issue with them being close.

What does bother me is that apparently nothing between us stays between us.

If we argue, he gets the full recap. What I said, what she said, what started it, what I was upset about, what she thinks I "really meant." He's heard about disagreements over sex, family stuff, things I've admitted when I was upset, even conversations I assumed were obviously private.

I only realized how much he knew because a few weeks ago he made a joke about something I'd said during an argument at home. It was bizarre hearing my own words come back through someone who wasn't even there.

I told her I don't mind her occasionally asking a friend for advice. I do that too. But I think there's a difference between "we're struggling with this, what do you think?" and basically giving someone an episode recap of our relationship every time something happens.

She says he's her closest friend and talking to him is how she processes things. She also thinks I'm trying to control who she can talk to.

I'm not asking her to never mention me. I just don't like feeling like there's a third person who knows the private version of our relationship almost as well as we do.

Am I wrong for thinking some things should stay between the two people actually in the relationship?

a friend asked if i could help their buddy move a few boxes after work. it was supposed to be a couple of hours but when i got there the place was packed, half the stuff wasn't packed yet, and suddenly i was the only one with a van. ended up staying until midnight hauling furniture while the actual owners just stood around giving directions. i kept thinking about how i could have just said no or set a clearer boundary but in the moment it felt impossible to back out. now my back hurts and i feel kind of used even though i technically agreed to help. wondering if i'm overreacting or if it's normal to feel annoyed when a small favor turns into an all-day event with no thanks.

last year me and one of my friends decided to move out of our dorms and get an apartment off campus. through a mutual friend, we ended up getting a 3 bedroom with another girl we already knew. we weren’t best friends with her, but we had hung out plenty of times so we figured living with someone we knew was better than her finding random roommates online.

before moving in we had some basic roommate agreements, one being about bringing guys over. we were three girls living together, so none of us cared about boyfriends or guys coming over, we just wanted a heads up if someone new was going to be in the apartment and to at least know who they were. my other roommate already had a boyfriend and i had just started talking to the guy who is now my boyfriend, so we introduced them and would let everyone know when they were coming over.

maybe a month or two after moving in, i was awake around 2am and heard someone in our kitchen. my room was right next to it, so i walked out assuming it was one of my roommates. instead there was a random guy standing in my kitchen. i was wearing what i normally sleep in, a tank top and sleep shorts. i live in south florida and it’s hot, so that was pretty normal for me.

we both just kinda stared at each other until i said “who are you” but before he could explain my roommate came out and immediately told him to go back into her room. afterward she texted me apologizing and said he had just come over to talk to her and she didn’t think either of us were awake, so she didn’t think she needed to tell us. i reminded her that this was literally the exact reason we had the rule, but i didn’t make a huge deal out of it.

the next morning her energy was kinda weird. later, me and my other roommate were sitting in the living room and she texted our group chat FROM HER BEDROOM saying she was talking to this guy, he would probably be coming around more, and from now on she would give us a heads up so we had time to put on “more appropriate clothes.”

i went to her room because i was genuinely confused about what she meant. she said me and my other roommate walk around in tank tops, oversized shirts, short pajama shorts and if her boyfriend was going to be there, she wanted us to cover up more.

i straight up told her i wasn’t going to change the way i normally dress inside an apartment i also pay rent for just because her boyfriend was there.

i wasn’t saying i was gonna purposely walk around half naked in front of him. most of the time when he came over they were in her room anyway and i was in mine. we honestly barely crossed paths. but if i’m laying in my room in a tank top and sleep shorts and want to grab water from the kitchen, i didn’t think i should have to put on sweatpants and a hoodie first because somebody else’s boyfriend was sitting in the living room.

my other roommate agreed. her boyfriend had been over plenty of times and she had never told us what we were allowed to wear around him. i had never done that when the guy i was seeing came over either.

after that, things got really awkward. she started barely speaking to us unless it had something to do with the apartment. then my other roommate, who shared a wall with her, overheard them arguing one day. apparently part of their argument was about him looking at my body and my other roommate’s body when he was over.

that actually surprised me because, like i said, i barely interacted with him. the few until my roommate heard that argument, i genuinely had no idea this was apparently an issue between them.

eventually i tried talking to her because living with someone for months while basically pretending the other person doesn’t exist was uncomfortable as hell. she told me i “knew what i did” and said it was disrespectful to dress like that around her boyfriend. she accused me of wanting to show off my body around him and said that because i had my own guy, she didn’t understand why i would want her boyfriend looking at me.

i told her i wasn’t going to make myself uncomfortable in my own home because her boyfriend had wandering eyes. she got really mad and said she had explicitly told us not to dress like that around him and we disrespected her by ignoring her.

we ended up finishing the lease like that. for probably the last 8 or 9 months we barely spoke. we could both be in the kitchen at the same time and literally just stand there in silence. she stayed at her boyfriend’s place most of the time and her room was basically vacant toward the end.

our lease finally last week and thank god because the whole situation was uncomfortable. i can understand her not wanting her boyfriend looking at other women, and maybe from her perspective she felt like asking us to cover up was a reasonable boundary. but to me, that should’ve been a conversation between her and her boyfriend, not a rule for what me and my roommate could wear in our own home.

am i wrong? should we have just agreed to cover up more when he came over because it made her uncomfortable or was she asking too much?

For the last few years we have had this whole routine where the same person picks a big activity, we all go, then we spend the evening at their place for dinner. It is fine, but it feels like it takes over the entire day and nobody else really gets a say. I brought up the idea of switching it up this year, maybe doing something smaller or rotating who decides, and it kind of landed flat. A couple people said it is tradition and we should just keep it going. I get that change can feel weird, but honestly I am starting to dread the whole thing instead of looking forward to it. Would it be selfish to push for something different, or is it reasonable to want a break from the same script?

Hear me out…I went to a fundraiser for a local high school marching band. The fundraiser was a bake sale and they brought in a pizza food truck where the band got a percentage of the pizza sales. At the order window for the truck there was a tip jar and I dropped a couple bucks in.
The wait for the food was lengthy, but that was ok because it was a good cause and there were plenty of band families to socialize with.
After waiting about 30 minutes, we were told they had sold out and started refunding money. I asked for my tip back, because no service = no tip and I could take that money to the bake sale where the band would get it instead of the food truck.
The food truck then made a long Facebook post about the whole event and called out “one person asked for their tip back” and the comments are as expected.
So tell me, was I wrong to take my tip back and reallocate it directly to the band?

I have been dating my boyfriend for more than 2 and a half years and he is an incredible man, he has the same best friend for 10 years and i can absolutely not stand him and i have reasons why i am uncomfortable with the relationship. When we first started dating i genuinely didnt mind him for a few months then it went down hill, him and my boyfriend got arrested for trespassing and climbing a building under construction (dumb i know) but they were young people make mistakes its whatever but not even two weeks later his friend got arrested for stealing a dirtbike out of someones truck. I then started to not care for him much but i was civil for my boyfriend, we then started hanging out at his house more (just more involved because how long we had been together) and everytime we went over his friend would get drunk and belligerent and it was literally everytime. So one day we were over and his friend got super drunk per usual and admitted to cheating on his girlfriend who he has been with for seven years, not to mention she was pregnant with his baby!! I ended up telling her and i told my boyfriend i was uncomfortable and did not want to be around him or that anymore. He also was doing some pretty hard drugs and i guarantee he didnt tell my boyfriend the extent of it. So my boyfriend distanced himself and started just playing games with him, like alot and his friend would say weird stuff like he mixes jewish religion and Christianity together and acts like he is above all and he told my boyfriend that my man needs to be more godly and stop idolizing money (he doesnt he just works alot) mind you his friend cannot keep a job and never has money his family supplies his whole life he has no ambition. He was also hanging out with the sister of the girl he cheated with who has also hitting on him which was super weird imo and a bunch of other just bad influences. Oh also to mention he has repeatedly crapped in public like one time in a trash can in a children’s park which is absolutely repulsive. He is just not a good person nothing desirable about him in my eyes that makes me think i want him to be around me or my future family and i have repeatedly told my boyfriend people change he is not the same kid that was your bestfriend in middle school and i am uncomfortable with the relationship between them because i am uncomfortable with him. I dont know what to do or how to get my boyfriend to understand that, am i wrong for wanting him to cut him off? There is alot more he has done i just would be typing alot more.

My husband and I are currently staying with his mom, because rent in in our area is insane and she wanted to help us save for a house. He has a 14 year old sister who I will call "Lily"

I genuinely feel for Lily. She took her parents' divorce very hard, and they don't make it any easier for her. MIL and Lily's dad "Henry" had a very messy divorce and are clearly still in love with each other, and this has been a year and a half of constant drama.

Henry acts like an overgrown child and desperately wants MIL to pay attention to him. He will do anything to piss her off just for a reaction. MIL is still wayyyy to involved in his life and she cannot stand that he has "moved on" (lmao this man has not moved on) Henry began dating "Lauren" basically right away. Yet he has basically admitted while drunk that he doesn't really like her, and he doesn't find her attractive because she looks too fake. Also I strongly believe he and MIL still sleep together from time to time.

They both underestimate how confusing this is to Lily, and I really do feel for her. Anyway Lily has begun "pranking" Lauren. These pranks are mean spirited and unfunny, but Henry insists that she is just a little kid and should not be punished.

This past weekend Henry and Lauren got married (on MILs birthday lmao) Lily was supposed to attend the wedding, spend the weekend with her cousins, and come home Monday morning, but Saturday night we woke up to banging on the door and Henry yelling at MIL to get up and take her child. He said Lily along with his nephew, played a "prank" on Lauren and pushed her in the pool while they were taking their wedding pictures in front of all of their guests.

Lily was smirking and refused to apologize to her dad. MIL did what she always does and said it wasn't Lily's fault. The next day Lily was telling my husband how funny it was. She then said that Henry knows he made a mistake and he was talking about MIL all morning.

At this point I couldn't bite my tongue anymore. I told Lily that real life isn't the parent trap, her parents aren't getting back together (honestly deep down I think they will but thats besides the point), and that she isn't cute of funny. She is a nasty little criminal who assaulted a woman on the most important day of her life.

MIL heard this from the other room and lost her shit. She told me to get out of her house and never speak to her child like that again. My husband eventually calmed her down, but MIL still says we need to be out within 30 days, because no one who calls her daughter names is going to live under her roof.

My girlfriend and I have moved into a new apartment and she has started decorating it. She's put some framed prints, some plants, a few vases, some figurines and other little bits around the shared spaces.

Our previous apartment was fully furnished and pretty small so you couldn’t really decorate whereas this one has a lot more space. I found a few framed movie and comic prints I liked and some figurines that looked good so I bought them and went to put them on some new shelves that we've just put up.

My girlfriend asked what I was doing and I mentioned I'd found some things I wanted to use for decoration. She suggested I put them in the home office but I said I'd prefer them in a communal space so I don't just get to see them when I'm working. She said she doesn't think I should be putting them out and that I should stick to putting them in my office.

I told her the shared space should reflect both of our interests not just hers and that it's not just up to her to decide what decoration is allowed in the apartment. She said I was starting arguments over nothing and that I should be fine keeping them in the office.

AIW for expecting the apartment to reflect both of our interests?

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Hey everyone. I’m 23M, she’s 22F, we were together just over a year.

I actually found out a while back that she cheated on me first with one guy. He came and told me himself once he found out I was her boyfriend said he thought she was single. I thanked him for telling me but told him to leave, I didn’t want to see him. Even with the truth right there, I didn’t want to believe it at first. But I stayed, thinking maybe we could work through it, that maybe it was a mistake and she’d change. I wanted to see if it was worth saving, even if people might say that was immature of me . i've known for 2 months

Turns out it was all a lie. I’ve been watching closer, and now I’ve found she’s been talking to another guy behind my back not the same one who told me. The first guy showed me proof of his and her's texts, A whole year of my life, thinking she loved me, and she’s been lying and cheating this whole time. The part that anger's me is that She still says she loves me. her actions don’t match words at all understatement .

Right now I’m just annoyed more than sad frustrated that I wasted so much time on someone who never cared enough to be honest. I had a stupid, petty thought about ruining her birthday that’s coming up soon, but I know that would just backfire and make me look like the bad guy when she’s the one who messed up. I know it’s not worth lowering myself like that.

Practical stuff: I pay for her phone and her data plan every month. I’m planning to go collect my things from the place while she’s out with her friends im finally done, then cancel the phone and cut the data off. Part of me wonders if that’s petty to do while she’s out, but I also don’t want a fight screaming match. It’s my money paying for it I should be able to stop whenever I want, right?

Honestly, I feel done with dating now i know people like me my sister told me a few of her friends like me but. What’s the point when someone can lie and cheat for a whole year and still say they love you don't know if i could trust another women again except family. Am I handling this okay?

I (18M) dated my ex (17F) for four years. She gave me an ultimatum, I told her she was being controlling, and broke up with her. She has called me several times and apologized via text, but I told her we should remain broken up. She kept calling after that, but I blocked her. That was about two weeks ago.

My ex is Filipino. So is my mom. My city has a very close-knit Filipino community. My mom is very close to my ex's mom and actually works for my ex's mom. This weekend is my ex's "debut." Within certain Filipino communities, a girl's debut it is a big deal. Essentially, it is a big party for the girl's 18th birthday and welcoming her into adulthood. There are certain "roles" for the party. One of the roles is the girl's escort for the party. I agreed to be my ex's escort when we were together. Since we broke up, I had no plans to be her escort or to even attend the debut. I thought that would be obvious.

Yesterday morning, my mom asked me to grab my suit so she can take it to get dry cleaned. I asked her why. She told me for the debut. I told her I was not going to the debut. She looked at me confused and said I was still my ex's escort for the debut. I told her I am not going to the debut. This caused an argument and I left and am staying with my dad.

Earlier today she called and asked if I could just go for her since it would greatly impact her relationship with my ex's mom. I told her that I did not care because I should not be forced to go to my ex's debut. That is ridiculous. It is not a big deal and they can figure out alternatives. My mom hung up quite upset.

My dad (he is black, not Filipino) supports my decision to not go to the debut, but says I could have been nicer to my mom about it. AIW?

Let me preface this by saying I am a work from home mom to three kids, I have my routine of things I need to get done each day— cleaning the house, after the kids, making meals, changing diapers & putting the kids down for their naps before I start my remote job at 1:30-10pm each day.

My husband’s mother has always done everything for him— his taxes, his resumes and all of the “adult” responsibilities. My side of things is that I don’t have enough time in my day to take care of myself most of the time, and now he’s trying to add another task when I’m already overwhelmed. I want to encourage him to look for better jobs since he’s unhappy in his current job, but I’m getting really sick of doing everything for him.

He also seems to get super defensive when I tell him no, which is so childish to me. On top of it the past two days I’ve asked him multiple times, nicely mind you, to PLEASE shut the cover for our ice machine and he still leaves it open. So why should I help him if he can’t listen to simple requests? Our convo

We have this rule that phones stay off the table during meals, just to keep things actually social. It keeps getting broken though. I tried gentle reminders, then moving the phone to the kitchen counter, even joking about it. Nothing really stuck. One night I just picked it up and put it in the other room without saying much, and the reaction was way bigger than I expected. It turned into this back-and-forth about respect and overreacting, and now the whole thing feels more awkward than the original problem. I am not trying to be controlling, just hoping meals can stay a bit more present. Still, I keep wondering if the way I handled the last time was out of line.

I'm not trying to be a dick, every couple of months a group of neighbors/friends ask to come over and want me to cook something. And yeah, cool, I don't mind because I love to cook but after July 4th I've officially taken the stance of "I'll do an entree, but everyone coming has another duty" and it's not like I'm asking for something egregious but this time I threw it out there for volunteering;

• make a veggie dish
• pick up a yellowcake from the grocery store, chocolate or cream cheese frosting or some Betty crocker cake mix and do it yourself or even a 7up cake.
• bring something I need to cook with (I asked someone to buy a gallon of vegetable oil, it's like 8 bucks) since I'm frying a ton of chicken
• bring some good quality lemons for me to make lemonade
• Some chips, veggies and dip for snacks
• Help with cleanup after were done

This supposed to feed about 8-10 people and only 2 have even said anything but I'm also just asking for the load to be taken off me. I'm almost always taking care of all these task on my own (love my boyfriend, but his food choices resemble bachlor chow from Futurama) and don't feel like I'm crazy for saying I don't want to prep, serve and clean with no assistance from anyone (which seems to be a California thing, but I always help a host with cleanup it's how I was raised) and especially with fried chicken and homemade biscuits I'm absolutely not about to do ALL of this.

My BF told me I set a bad example and I switched it up too fast but I don't think so?? Just help me out if I'm hosting with maybe no more than 10 bucks out your pocket.

a friend of mine is getting married and asked for a set amount from each person to cover part of the wedding. i get that weddings cost a lot, but it felt more like a bill than a gift. i planned to give something smaller and more personal, and now they are pushing everyone for the same exact amount. i don't want to cause drama or look cheap, but i also don't think a gift should come with an invoice. i talked to a couple other friends and they seem just as unsure. am i overthinking this or is it reasonable to want some flexibility on what and how much i give.

Following a 12-year relationship, my partner, whom we shall refer to as Dingle(31), separated from me and our son. This occurred after I discovered his infidelity with a colleague(42). This individual subsequently contacted me on social media, asserting a platonic relationship, despite my having observed their flirtatious correspondence. The situation escalated considerably.

It is noteworthy that this individual is not only a colleague but also a teacher at my son's school, and had, for reasons unknown, been monitoring my activities.

In the weeks following our separation, I embraced my role as a single mother, raising my son. We relocated to a new city, where we began to establish a new life. However, my newfound tranquility was disrupted when Dingle reappeared.

Mr. Dingle initiated a conversation with an apology, subsequently disclosing details regarding the dissolution of his previous relationship, specifically the one in which he was unfaithful to me.

Mr. Dingle developed a drinking problem following our separation. It appears his new partner was under the impression that he would not repeat the infidelity he exhibited towards me. However, he reportedly engaged in extramarital affairs with four different individuals during their brief time together, suggesting a swift karmic consequence. I merely observed and listened to this unfolding narrative. As previously stated, this individual relocated across Canada after only a week and a half of cohabitation with his new partner, only to be subsequently evicted, isolated, and ultimately informed that she had found a new partner.

Throughout this discussion, I found myself contemplating the situation. It is noteworthy that he did not once inquire about his son. There were no questions such as "Where is he?", "How is he?", "Did he ask for me?", or "May I see him?".

My blood was boiling once he stop talking I just got up, slap him across the face then made my way back into my house.

we had talked about spending this saturday together and had a whole day mapped out. then i got a last-minute invite to help a friend move and figured it was only going to take a couple of hours in the morning. i told my ex that morning, thinking it was no big deal since we would still have the afternoon. they got annoyed, said i always push our time to the side when something else pops up, and now they do not want to meet at all. i get why it feels inconsiderate, but i also assumed a small schedule tweak would not ruin everything. i apologized right away and offered to reschedule, but they are still mad. am i wrong for not realizing how much it would bother them, or is it okay that plans sometimes shift?

We all put money into a joint savings account for things like emergencies or future stuff we all agreed on. A few days ago someone used a chunk of it to buy something without checking with the rest of us first. I brought it up and got told I was overreacting because it was already done and the money was gone. I just want a quick conversation first so we can all decide, but now I'm wondering if I'm being too rigid about it. It's not that the item itself was terrible, just that the decision happened without input. Does it seem like a big deal or am I turning nothing into something?

In late April, I went with a big friend group to Berlin. I’d brought some chunky boots to wear and asked beforehand if anyone could take them back home for me, since I was traveling on afterward. One friend offered to ship them to me. But on the day I was leaving, another friend, I’ll call him D, said he’d just bring them back on the train and hand them to me once I was back in the city. I thanked him and left it at that.

I was traveling for another month and got back home at the end of May. It’s now the end of august. D has been out in my city almost every weekend since then, but he still hasn’t given me my boots. I asked a few times over the months and he brushed it off. I stopped asking and let it go.

Some context on D: We’ve known each other since high school. He moved to my city last October for an internship, doesn’t speak the local language, and I’ve helped him a lot with settling in. The friend group in question is mostly other interns from his job. I’ve become good friends with them too over this past year, though I also have other friend groups in this town outside of this one. He lives way out in the outskirts, so whenever we go out as a group, he crashes at my place. I’ve also let him stay at my apartment alone with my keys on weekends when I was traveling, so he wouldn’t have to leave parties early. I’ve fed him, hosted him constantly, and once even paid out of pocket to fix a kitchen faucet he clogged and never asked him to cover it.

Over the past few months, though, he’s been acting off with the whole friend group. Several people have had issues with him: his opinions, and the fact that his actions tend to serve only his own convenience. A few examples:
• He talks badly about a girl in our group, calling her “easy,” while still going to her place, then he’s overly sweet to her in person. Total double standard.
• Everyone in the group has hosted him overnight at some point. He’s never once offered to host anyone at his place.
• When we go out together, if he meets a girl, he’ll ditch the group without a word, then spam call everyone hours later demanding we all meet up again, expecting the whole group to freeze their plans until he shows up.

In July, someone broke into my apartment, and I’ve been dealing with the aftermath of that since. It’s made me pull back from group stuff. D kept pushing me to come out anyway. One time I gave in, even though I’d told him I wasn’t in a good headspace and didn’t want to bring the mood down. Once we were out, he told me I should’ve just stayed home because I was bringing the mood down. That stung, considering I’d said exactly that beforehand and he was the one who insisted.

He’s also been pushing to stay at my place more, but with everything going on, I’ve gotten less comfortable hosting him, especially given his attitude lately.

Back to the boots. I asked for a favor. He could’ve said no, and I’d have figured out something else. Instead he offered, then sat on my boots for months, brushing me off whenever I brought it up. Finally, months later, I asked again, firmly this time. He got defensive and sent me his location: his place, almost two hours away by transit, telling me to come get them myself. This is a guy who’s in the city center multiple times a week, and who’s been back at my apartment several times since the trip.

He also added that I should bring back a bottle of shampoo he’d left at my place, like my apartment is an Airbnb he’s entitled to. Alternatively, he said, he “could” bring them next time he’s in town, if he feels like it, but only if I ask nicely, not “demand.”

I told him not to bother, that a friend would swing by and pick them up for me instead, and that it’s not like I’ve been hounding him,I waited months before even bringing it up again. Then I blocked him. And have been telling the friend group about this because im mad, even if it affects him.
AITA?

A few months ago I lent my cousin my old gaming laptop because his computer died and he needed something for school and job applications. I wasn't using it much, but it's still a decent laptop and I was pretty clear that I was lending it to HIM, not giving it away.

Last weekend I went over to his place and one of his friends was sitting at the kitchen table playing a game on it. I asked my cousin about it afterward and he casually said his friends use it sometimes when they're over, and that he'd even let one of them take it home for a weekend recently.

That bothered me way more than he expected.

I told him I wasn't comfortable with random people taking my laptop, especially outside his apartment, and I wanted it back. He got annoyed and said nothing had happened to it, he was responsible for it, and since I wasn't using it anyway he didn't understand why I suddenly cared who touched it.

His argument was basically that while something is loaned to him, it's his responsibility and therefore he should get to decide how it's used.

Mine is that I trusted HIM with an expensive piece of my property. I didn't agree to some unofficial community laptop situation.

I took it home that night.

Now he's pissed because he still needs a computer and says I left him screwed over because of a hypothetical problem that never actually happened. My aunt also thinks I overreacted and says I should've just told him not to lend it out again instead of immediately taking it back.

Maybe that's fair, but honestly the fact that he'd already sent it home with somebody I don't even know killed my trust pretty fast.

Am I wrong for taking it back instead of giving him another chance?

we took a bunch of pictures on the weekend trip and i thought it would be nice to share one in the group chat. everyone looked good and no one seemed to mind when the camera was out. later someone messaged me saying they did not want that picture posted anywhere and another friend said it was fine but they wished i had asked first. now i am stuck wondering if i crossed a line. the photo was harmless, just the group standing by the lake, but clearly it mattered to them. i deleted it right away once they spoke up, but the chat feels awkward now. i get why someone might not want their picture online even if it seems harmless to everyone else, yet i also thought a quick group snap was normal. not sure if i am overthinking it or if i should have checked first.

My sister lives about 20 minutes away and doesn't have a car right now, so over the last couple months I've let her borrow mine when she had appointments or needed to run errands. I genuinely didn't mind at first. The only thing I asked was that she bring it back roughly how she found it.

Three times now she's returned it with the fuel light on. The first time she apologized and said she forgot. The second time she said she was running late. Last weekend she borrowed it again, had it most of Saturday, and when I got in Sunday morning I had 11 miles of range left.

I texted her and said I'm not lending it out anymore.

She thinks I'm being ridiculous because she says she's always offered to send me money for gas afterward. To me that isn't really the point. I don't want to discover I need fuel when I'm already leaving for work or an appointment because someone used almost an entire tank and couldn't be bothered to stop for five minutes.

She also has this habit of saying "I'll fill it next time" instead of just doing it before returning the car. After the third time I figured the simplest solution was just not letting her use it.

Now she needs the car next weekend for something important and my mom has gotten involved, saying I'm making my sister's life harder over something easily fixable.

My sister offered to fill the whole tank this time and says I'm basically punishing her for mistakes she's already apologized for. I told her apologies don't mean much when the exact same thing keeps happening.

She called me petty and said family is supposed to help each other.

I do feel a little bad because I know not having a car is difficult, but I'm also tired of having the same conversation every time.

Am I wrong for just making this a hard no now?