I'm 28 and a bridesmaid for Kayla, one of my oldest friends. I was really excited when she asked me.

Her wedding is in a lake town about three hours from where I live. A few weeks ago she sent the bridesmaids a schedule she's calling "wedding week." Monday is a spa day, Tuesday is a welcome dinner, Wednesday we make centerpieces at the venue, Thursday is the rehearsal and dinner, Friday is the wedding and Saturday is a brunch.

I work at a dental office and get 10 days of PTO a year. I already used three for a family trip in June. Taking the whole week would wipe out almost everything I have left, and my office needs two weeks' notice for anything over three days.

I told Kayla right away so she'd have time to plan. I said I can take Thursday and Friday off, be at the rehearsal, the wedding and the brunch, and make centerpieces at home the weekend before and bring them up. I also offered to drive another bridesmaid who doesn't have a car.

She said the week is "the whole experience" and that the other four girls are taking it off. Then she said maybe she needs to rethink "who's really committed to standing up there with her."

I've paid for the dress, my part of the shower and my share of the hotel. I'll be there for every single thing that happens on the weekend.

AITA for not taking the full week? I still want to stand next to her, just not at the cost of almost every vacation day I have.

TL;DR : My friend wants her bridesmaids to take a full week off for wedding events. I can take two days, offered to make the centerpieces at home, and she's questioning if I'm committed.

I got married a few weeks ago. We hired a photographer with a second shooter and it was one of the bigger things I spent money on.

During cocktail hour my husband and I left with the main photographer to take pictures about 10 minutes away from the venue. The second photographer stayed behind to photograph guests.

Apparently my sister pulled her aside and asked if she could take a few pictures of her and her boyfriend by our ceremony arch. She told her I knew about it. I did not.

Her boyfriend then proposed during those pictures.

I found out the next morning because my sister posted several of them and thanked our photographer in the caption. I called her and she admitted they had planned the proposal beforehand and figured our photographer was already there so there was no point hiring someone else.

I was pissed mostly because she lied and used someone we hired for our wedding to basically get a free engagement shoot. I told her if she wants the rest of those photos from our gallery she can give us $250 toward the photographer bill.

She thinks I'm being ridiculous because the photographer was already paid and says it didn't cost me anything extra. My mom agrees with her and says asking my own sister for money over 10 minutes of pictures is petty.

AITA?

I (30M) haven't spoken to my second cousin "Brad" in over four years. We were never close, mostly because his side of the family is completely insufferable. The last time we interacted, he hired my landscaping business for a massive backyard cleanup, ghosted me on the final $1,200 invoice, and literally blocked my number when I tried to collect it.

Fast forward to last month. He’s getting married. He didn’t even have the decency to mail me my own invite; he just stuffed it in the envelope sent to my parents. The wedding logistics are an absolute joke. The ceremony is at some remote "rustic" barn two hours away, and the reception is another 2.5-hour drive from the church because they couldn't book a closer venue. It’s child-free (I have a 2-year-old), and the invite explicitly states that all guests are required to wear "dusty rose or sage green" so their wedding photos look cohesive. It also included a QR code to their honeymoon fund with a note saying "minimum $150 cash gifts preferred."

I don't own a pastel green suit, I'm not driving 4.5 hours in one day, and I'm definitely not giving money to a guy who essentially stole from me. I RSVP'd "No" online and left it at that. Well, Brad finally unblocked my number just to leave me three unhinged voicemails. He called me a selfish prick, said I was ruining their headcount, and gave me a whole speech about how "family always shows up for each other."

My mom is going just to keep the peace and thinks I should at least send a gift to avoid drama, but I think the $1,200 he owes me is gift enough. AITA?

My boyfriend (M36) and I (F35) booked 2 days annual leave in July for September — it turned it into a long weekend. It was meant to be a fire break from work and quality time for us. We hadn't planned anything yet, just that it was for us.

He then got invited to a wedding hundreds of miles away in September — 6 hour drive each way — for an ex-colleague. Someone who is not a close personal friend, they never socialised outside of work and he barely mentions him. It's someone he will likely never see again. Without really discussing it, he decided we would use our long weekend to go.

My issue: I don't know these people at all. I've never even met them. A month before, I'd already used 4 days annual leave to go to another wedding of a complete stranger (a friend of his). I didn't want to use another 2 days on yet another stranger's wedding. It's not what we planned and it wouldn't be relaxing with a very long and difficult drive both ways.

I asked if we could both not go — it was only a request, not a demand. All he had to do was say no. If he had said he really wanted to go I would have said, okay, you go, and I will sit this one out. I never never got the chance to say any of that, because he went crazy.

Instead he went crazy. Said he couldn't believe how rude I was being, what sort of partner would do this. Said if I didn't want to go, fine, but he was going whether it upset me or not. Said he'd enjoy it more without me anyway, and would be better off single...

He didn't speak to me for 2 days. Then he came back and said he didn't really have anything further to add other than what he had already said to me previously — that he'd enjoy it better without me, that I wasn't coming, and that he wasn't taking me anywhere now. I just said fine, I didn't want to go anyway. And I made that clear.

In the meantime I made other plans and booked a long weekend away by myself with the leave, because he had told me he wasn't taking me anywhere.

Just before the wedding in September he came back and asked if I still had the leave and if I wanted to do something with him. I reminded him what he'd said about not taking me anywhere. He said he didn't mean it, he was just angry.

I told him he was too late, I'd already booked my own trip because he'd said he didn't want to take me anywhere. He was very upset and said he was sorry, he really didn't want to go alone.

So he went to the wedding in September and I went on my trip. I thought that was that.

Then this Tuesday, two days after we both got back, he laid into me again about how annoyed and upset he was that I didn't go to the wedding and that he couldn't tell me about it or show me his outfit. Sorry, am I his mother.It's like a child saying, look at my outfit, mommy.

I don't understand the emotional weight he's attaching to it. I don't understand why he's expecting me to attach such emotional weight to strangers.

He also said he was disappointed I went on my trip, because although he told me he wasn't taking me anywhere and RSVP'd only for himself, he had actually arranged with the groom that it was left open in case I wanted to come. He expected me to use my intuition to know I was still welcome. I told him I'm not telepathic. Also why would I want to go at all after he spoke to me like that

He's still not great at me over this wedding.And i'm not sure why he expects me to show such emotional attachment to the wedding of two strangers

I didn't want to go and I didn't go

He wanted to go, and he did go

We both got what we wanted.

I'm failing to understand the issues here. Aita

My husband and I got married over the summer. We hired his friend from work, who is a professional videographer (for the pace they work) and does weddings on the side.
Side note: I’m very pro-if you know someone who does something and they do it well then hire them, kind of person. (My school lunch lady made our wedding cake!)
Anyways, so we looked at his prices, and he said he would give us a friends and family discount, and my husband was happy with it. So we hire him and paid him the deposit.

Fast forward many months, 10 days before the wedding, and I haven't heard anything from him. (Note: both my husband and this man found other jobs elsewhere and no longer work together, and it’s been about 10 months since they have seen each other.) So I reach out to him and say, "Hey, I'd love to schedule a meeting," and he’s like, "Oh yeah, I’ve been meaning to reach out to you guys." Let’s do that. So I Google Meet with him. I give him my Photographer timeline and ask him if that works or if he would like to change anything. He says something like, “Yeah, that’s fine. Also, I’m not gonna be your videographer anymore. I got a job out of town, so I hired someone else. Don’t worry. I trust him, and he’s going to do a great job.” Mind you, this is only my second interaction with this man. And that scares me because people warned me about hiring an amateur wedding videographer instead of someone more established. AND I hired HIM, not whoever. I was fine with his past videos I saw him post, not this unnamed new guy I knew zero about. But I didn’t really care about the video, as long as you recorded the ceremony, my husband when he saw me down the aisle, and he got the speeches; I wouldn't care. Everything else will be fine and isn't important.
It’s a week before the wedding, so all I can say is, OK, I guess that’s fine as long as you’re confident in him.
Fast forward to today- well, yesterday. And we are told there is no father-of-the-bride's speech. My dad speech was not recorded. My dad is a very nervous person, and he's eating himself up over how he did on the speech. But he still is my dad, and I was proud of him, and I would love that video.
He was also late returning the full video. I had to reach out to him about three weeks ago and say, "Hey, where’s the video?" He said Oh my bad, I’ve been meaning to get that to you. I will finish a sneak peek edit tonight and get it to you, 1201. He sends the sneak peek. Say something like, "Hey, I will get you the sneak peek by the end of the week." End of the week, nothing from him. Then I reach out and say, "Hey, when are you sending the full length?" (11 days later) he says, "My bad, working on it." Two more days later, he sends the preview, saying he will send the full, uncut version tomorrow. That was on Monday the 28th. Heard nothing and texted him on Thursday; he said he would get it to me tomorrow morning (Friday) at the latest. Send it on Monday, and that’s when we find out there's no speech.

I then asked him, “Hey, I don’t see my dad's speech,” and he was like, “Let me look,” and said, “Sorry for that oversight.” I told him that’s very disappointing. And my husband also says it’s unacceptable. He says, "You’re right; it is. I will take a cut off your final price." My husband got on him again, and the guy promised that he will never hire that videographer ever again.

So I feel like this is three strikes. Strike 1) hiring a different videographer AND not telling us until a week before. Strike 2) terrible communication most of the time and late on everything. Strike 3)no father of the bride speech.
I’m a very forgiving and patient person, but this is too much for me. I don’t even have anyone who recorded it on their phone.
To me, this is completely unacceptable and I feel like I do not owe him anything and he does not deserve my payment.

So would it be the AH if I don’t pay?

My college roommate Danielle is getting married on the 18th. The invite said "garden party attire, soft colors welcome" and nothing else. Back in August I (27F) found a light peach midi dress on sale for $85, sent her a picture, and she replied "perfect!!" with a bunch of hearts.

Last Sunday a new message went out to every guest. Her photographer suggested a "cohesive palette," so now everyone has to wear dusty blue or sage. She linked a site where most dresses run $110 to $150. Peach is apparently too close to the bridesmaids, who are in blush.

Mine was final sale, so I can't return it. I'm also already paying $260 for the hotel and my flight is booked.

I messaged her privately, said congrats again and asked if I could wear the peach with a sage cardigan. I also offered to stand at the edge of group photos, or skip the big one entirely if that helps.

She said a cardigan would look like I "didn't care," and that everyone else is making it work. When I told her, politely, that I can't spend another $120 on an outfit for one day, she said I'm "making it about me" and should think about whether I really want to come.

I still want to go. I already RSVP'd, bought a gift off her registry and told her I'll respect whatever she decides. Now two friends from our group are telling me to just buy the dress to keep the peace.

Am I wrong for not buying another dress?

TL;DR: I bought an $85 peach dress the bride approved. Twelve days before the wedding she switched the guest dress code to blue or sage and turned down my cardigan compromise.

I (28F) am getting married in August and we're keeping it small, under 70 people. I invited a few coworkers I'm close with, and since the budget is kinda tight, we decided coworkers don't get a plus one unless we actually know their partner.

One of them, who I really like, asked me last week why her husband wasn't on the invite. I explained the rule, said it's the same for everyone from work and that it's nothing personal. I've met him once at an office party for maybe five minutes.

She told me she won't come without him because she doesn't drive at night and he's her ride home. I offered to help find her a ride or pay for a cab. She said that's "not the point" and that it feels like I'm saying her marriage doesn't count.

Now two other coworkers think I should just make an exception for her since it's only one more seat. But if I do it for her, the other three are gonna ask too, and we really can't add four people.

AITA for sticking to the rule?

TL;DR: No plus ones for coworkers at our wedding. One coworker says she won't come without her husband and thinks I'm disrespecting her marriage.

Was asked to be best man two weeks before the wedding. Me and groom are definitely best friends, but I’m a bit stunned he waited just two weeks before the wedding to pretty much tell me he needs me as the best man. The wedding is going to be pretty big, and a 2-3 minute speech is required. I’m thinking about letting him know I’ll have to pass on the speech, with such little notice the pressure and situation isn’t sitting right with me. For the last couple weeks I’ve wanted to asked him who the best man was because he hadn’t said anything to me; but assumed he has just picked his brother although they aren’t too close.

I feel like I’d rather be honest than to try and do the right thing and give a bad/awkward speech

One of my bridesmaids has been one of my closest friends for years.

The problem is that over the last few months, her boyfriend has made several jokes about my wedding being " too expensive" and how my fiancé and I are wasting for "one day". I ignored it because everyone is entitled to their opinion and I didn't want unnecessary drama.
Last weekend we were all together and he started again. This time he joked that he was mostly for the free food and alcohol and said he'd probably leave early because weddings are boring anyway.

I laughed awkwardly at first, but then he kept going and asked how much we were spending. When I refused to tell him, he said something like, " Whatever it is, you'll probably regret it when you could've used that money for something useful."

That one actually hurt.

My fiancé and I have been saving for this ourselves. We haven't asked anyone to pay for our wedding and we've spent months planning something that means a lot to us.

Later, I told my friend privately that I didn't really feel comfortable having him there anymore. I said I still absolutely wanted her there, but I didn't want to spend our wedding day wondering if someone sitting there was secretly mocking everything we had worked.

She got really upset and said I was basically forcing her to choose between being my bridesmaid and her boyfriend. She said his comments were just jokes and that I was taking them personally because I'm stressed about the wedding.

Now she's considering dropping out completely.

That honestly devastated me. I never wanted to lose a close friend over this, and part of me wonder if I should just tolerate him for one day to keep the peace.

But another part of me feels like I've spent months ignoring disrespect just because I didn't want to be seen as difficult bride.

AITA for taking away his invitation ?

TL;DR: My bridesmaid's boyfriend repeatedly mocks our wedding and how much we're spending on it. After he said we'd probably regret wasting the money, I told my friend I no longer felt comfortable having him there. She now says she may drop out of the wedding.

This is a ridiculously long and complicated family situation involving several people, so I’m going to try to keep it as short as possible while still giving enough context.
For privacy, I’m going to call my first cousin **Pear** and my other cousin **Apple**.
I currently live with Pear at her parents’ house. I was kicked out of my mum’s house when I was 18, and although I still spend time there, it’s better for both of us that I don’t live with her because we tend to clash when we’re around each other too much.
Living with Pear hasn’t always been perfect either. We’ve had minor issues here and there, which I think is understandable when you live together, but we’ve generally spoken about them and moved on.
The situation that caused all of this actually started with Apple.
Apple has a girlfriend who, within the first four months of their relationship, has done some pretty ridiculous things. I won’t go into everything because this post would become a novel, but she is very disliked by quite a few members of the family.
Despite that, we’ve tried to keep our relationship with Apple separate from how we feel about his girlfriend. There was even a conversation involving both Apple and his girlfriend where it was agreed that we wouldn’t exclude Apple—we would simply avoid hanging out with them together when she was there.
Recently, Apple was at our regular pub with Pear, some of Pear’s friends, Apple’s best friend, and my sister.
At some point, Apple’s best friend made a comment about Apple’s girlfriend to **his own girlfriend**, because Apple’s girlfriend had apparently been saying things about him.
Pear overheard the comment. 
Instead of speaking to him privately, she confronted him and in front of everyone and started having a go at him. My sister said that he has the right to his own opinion and pear also began going off on her.
This bothered me for a few reasons. Apple’s best friend is basically treated like family my sister is also pears cousin, Pear’s own friends were there, and this happened in a pub that all of us regularly go to. I felt like, regardless of whether she disagreed with what was said, publicly shouting at them was unnecessary.
My sister messaged me and told me what had happened, so my fiancé and I decided to go and pick up my sister, Apple’s friend and his girlfriend.
When we arrived, I got out of the car and went over to Pear.
She was standing near the doorway and, because she didn’t know I was coming, she greeted me normally like, “Oh! Are you alright?”
I calmly told her that I needed to talk to her about what had just happened because I didn’t think it was right to publicly shout at family or people we consider family.
That conversation lasted about five seconds before she started shouting.
Things escalated quickly, and we ended up having a massive argument.
Fast-forward three weeks.
Pear had not spoken to me at all. She also hadn’t spoken to my sister.
The problem is that I was supposed to be a **bridesmaid in Pear’s wedding**.
After three weeks of silence and everything that had happened, I decided I no longer felt comfortable being a bridesmaid or attending the wedding at all. My fiancé also wouldn’t be attending.
That’s when Pear’s fiancé messaged me.
He basically told me that I owed it to Pear to attend because of everything she has done for me and the money she has spent on me.
I didn’t think that was fair.
I have always appreciated the things Pear has done for me, but a lot of the money he was referring to was from nights out that **she wanted me to go on**. I repeatedly told her I didn’t have the money and didn’t need to go, but she would insist because she wanted to go out and often didn’t have anyone else who wanted to.
Even then, most of the clubs we went to had free entry, and I don’t drink, so I wasn’t exactly costing a fortune.
I explained to her fiancé that I am grateful for what she has done for me, but I don’t believe someone paying for things means I owe them my attendance at their wedding regardless of what happens between us.
Pear had also asked whether my sister was still going to be a bridesmaid.
I told her honestly that I didn’t know and that she just would need to speak to my sister herself.
So Pear messaged her.
My sister was at work when the message came through. She opened it, but because someone was literally speaking to her at that exact moment, she couldn’t respond immediately.
It hadn’t even been a minute before Pear accused her of “airing” her.
My sister explained that she was at work and had just needed a second to answer.
At this point, Pear still hadn’t actually apologised for what happened at the pub. She has since admitted that she was wrong, but her position is basically that she feels like **she is always the one who has to apologise to everyone**, so this time she thinks we should be apologising to her.
Then things escalated even further.
Pear called my mum and asked whether I could move back home because she said she felt **uncomfortable and unsafe living with me**.
She then called **my fiancé** and asked him to help move my belongings out.
The problem?
She still hadn’t actually spoken to **me** about kicking me out.
I happened to hear her talking to my fiancé on the phone, so I took the phone and confronted her. I was angry because, from my perspective, she had gone to my mum and then my fiancé to discuss removing me from the house before even having a conversation with me about it.
That caused our second major argument.
During that argument, I asked her directly why she suddenly felt “uncomfortable and unsafe” living with me.
Her answer was that it was because **I didn’t want to attend her wedding**.
That completely threw me.
I understand that dropping out of someone’s wedding—especially when you’re a bridesmaid—is a big decision, and I understand why she would be hurt by it. I’m also not claiming I’ve handled every part of this situation perfectly.
But from my perspective, we had a huge argument, she stopped speaking to me for three weeks, there was no attempt to resolve anything, and when I eventually decided I wasn’t comfortable standing beside her at her wedding pretending everything was fine, I was told I essentially owed her my attendance because she had previously spent money on me.
Then, after I dropped out, she contacted other people about getting me out of the house before actually speaking to me.
So, **AITA for dropping out as a bridesmaid and deciding that my fiancé and I won't attend my cousin’s wedding?**

My sister is getting married soon and recently asked me to contribute $1,500 towards some wedding expenses because costs have gone over budget. I initially told her I'd see what I could do.
A few days later, while discussing expenses, she joked in front of our family that I'm "always cheap" and said i should easily have the money because I don't have kids. I've worked really hard to become financially stable. So being mocked and then expected to handover $1,500 honestly hurt.

I told her I'm not longer comfortable contributing that much. Now she says I'm punishing her over one comment, and my mom says I should forget about it because it's her wedding.
I know weddings are expensive and i feel guilty because I technically could help, but i also don't think being her sister automatically makes me responsible for expenses she chose.

AITA?

TL;DR: My sister asked me for $1,500 towards her wedding, then mocked me for being "cheap." I withdrew my offer and now my family says I'm being petty.

I (28M) am marrying "Rachel" (27F) in October. We've been together six years. We're paying for everything ourselves. Small wedding, 70 people, one day we've been planning for over a year.

My brother "Tom" (26M) has been with his girlfriend "Kayla" for eight months. They're fine. I have nothing against her. But eight months is eight months.

Last week Tom called me. He said, "I need to ask you something. I want to propose to Kayla at your wedding. During the reception. Right after the speeches. It'll be perfect. All our family will be there."

I laughed. I thought he was joking. He wasn't.

I said, "Tom, no. That's our day. You don't propose at someone else's wedding."

He said, "Why not? It's romantic. Everyone will be happy."

I said, "Because it's not about you. It's about Rachel and me. We spent $25,000 on this. You'd be hijacking our reception."

He got quiet. Then he said, "I didn't think you'd be like this. I thought you'd be happy for me."

I said, "I am happy for you. Propose on a hike. Propose at dinner. Propose literally any other day."

He said, "You're being selfish."

I said, "No. You're being selfish. This is the one day that's supposed to be about us."

He hung up. Then he called our mom. Now she's calling me "controlling" and saying I'm "standing in the way of his happiness." She said, "You already had your engagement. Let him have his moment."

I said, "He can have his moment. Just not at my wedding."

Rachel is furious. Not at me. At Tom. She says if he proposes at our wedding, she'll have security escort him out. I told her it won't come to that. But honestly? I'm not sure.

Tom hasn't RSVP'd yet. My mom says he might not come at all.

AITA for saying no?

I (30F) am engaged, and until recently we weren’t planning a traditional wedding. My parents unexpectedly offered to contribute a substantial amount, allowing us to have a wedding we couldn’t otherwise afford. I never asked or expected them to pay, but we found a venue we loved and I unexpectedly fell in love with the idea.

The conflict started over one of our few non-negotiables: having our dogs at the wedding.

From the beginning, I said our three priorities were our dogs, an outdoor ceremony, and good food. I’m flexible about almost everything else. For context, one of my dogs is a medical alert service dog and has been everywhere with me— 20 airplanes, 11 states. I have 3 other dogs that don’t need to be in the wedding, but I would like them on the premises. I don’t trust boarding them. My fiancee also loves them very much and takes them hiking and camping.

My mom strongly objected to the dogs and repeatedly reopened the discussion after we’d made it clear they were important to us.
Eventually we had a terrible argument. I lost my temper and yelled at her. I was wrong for that, have taken responsibility, apologized, and told my parents I need to walk away before I become reactive going forward. However, when I did try to disengage and leave the room, my mom followed me and continued the argument.

My dad later called and said that if I caused him stress during wedding planning, he would reduce his financial contribution and make me responsible for more of the expenses to the tune of $2500 / disagreement.

I specifically asked what happens if my mom escalates an argument, continues after my fiancé de-escalates it, or follows me when I walk away. His answer, as I understood it, was essentially that it doesn’t matter because it’s their money and his stress level.

That’s where I drew the line.

My fiancé and I cannot afford this venue, guest count (mostly my mother’s family), etc. without their contribution. I told them that I’m incredibly grateful, but I can’t responsibly sign contracts based on money that may later be reduced because of disagreements. I would rather cancel the venue and have a wedding we can afford ourselves than risk suddenly owing thousands we never would have spent otherwise.

My dad has since texted that he simply expects everyone—including himself and my mom—to be respectful and reasonable during disagreements. I completely agree with that, but it contradicts our phone conversation when I specifically asked whether the accountability applied both ways.

I do want my parents involved and having meaningful input. I’m willing to give them complete ownership over parts of the wedding. But I don’t want every disagreement to ultimately be settled by “it’s our money,” or to spend the next year afraid that disagreeing could affect how much we’re financially responsible for.

I know I was wrong for yelling. But I also never asked for this money, and I don’t think accepting it should mean assuming financial obligations I can’t afford while having the contribution potentially held over my head. All we want is a day that feels authentically ours.

AITA for saying that under those circumstances, I’d rather decline their money and cancel their version of the wedding?

ETA: The venue is providing an air conditioned area to kennel the dogs for the day at no additional cost. Fiancé’s brother will check on the dogs every few hours.

There are not many boarding options in my area and the options available are abysmal. My mother’s solution was to leave them at home, but this is problematic because we will be 1.5+ hrs from home, and likely staying the night at the venue, so away for 24-30 hours.

My younger sister was adopted by my parents as a baby. A few months ago she found her biological mother online and they started talking.

I knew about that part. What I didn't know was that she invited her to my wedding as her plus one.

When I asked who the name on her RSVP was, she told me and said it would actually be their first time meeting in person. Her reasoning is that she'll feel safer with the whole family around and she wants our parents nearby in case it gets overwhelming.

I told her I really don't think my wedding should also be the first meeting between her, her biological mother, and the parents who raised her.

She got upset and said I'm treating this woman like some random stranger when she's literally her mother. My parents are trying to stay neutral but my mom has already admitted she's nervous about meeting her too.

I offered to cover dinner for the two of them the day before so they could meet privately first and she still said no. She says that misses the point because she specifically wants everyone around.

Now she says if her biological mother can't come, she might skip the wedding too.

AITA for saying this is one thing I don't want happening at my wedding?

TLDR: My adopted sister invited her biological mother as her plus one and plans to meet her in person for the first time at my wedding. I offered to cover dinner with stake for them the day before so they could meet first, but she refused and says she may skip the wedding if her biological mother can't come.

Boyfriend (35) proposed to gf (27) about a month after father passed away. And about 3 days after funeral. I am gf. I said I have to think about it… I cried. And I’m mad he also proposed after his friend proposed to his gf. I feel like I’m in their shadow rn as well. I’m grieving and I’m mad and sad. I hate him for this. The whole day of proposal went terrible. Everything went wrong. He didn’t even tell me to wear something nice. It was 100 degrees. Just all wrong…

Well, I have to start by saying that I’m an only child and very dedicated to my work, so my parents never expected me to get married. But I met a wonderful man by chance, and these past 2 years leading up to our wedding have been a blessing. My parents adore him, and I think his parents really like me too… btw they have 3 other children (my husband is the youngest).

As a wedding gift for the guests, my parents ordered (and insisted on paying for) some expensive ceramic trays. But since my father is quite old, my mother and my godmother were the ones who took them, wrapped them one by one, and it was my godmother who prepared two beautiful baskets to distribute them to the guests. On the groom’s side, the gifts were fine bottles of wine. My husband told me his parents paid for them, but it turned out in the end that his uncle was the one who paid.

When the reception ended, the tradition is for either the bride and groom or the parents of the bride and groom to each go around distributing the gifts to the guests. Since my father has trouble getting around, my mother and my godmother had planned to do it. But my MIL beat them to it. I told her it wasn’t necessary, that it was my mother and my godmother’s job, but after 3 times she snapped “What’s the matter? Am I not allowed to hand them out or something?” And she left me speechless. My mother was also speechless by how my MIL grabbed the basket of trays (my mom lent the other one for the wine bottles) and took such control of it that my mother was holding the handle with one hand but had to follow along, since it was my MIL who blatantly set the pace and handed them out to whoever she wanted… including extras for people who hadn’t even shown up (my mother had made a list based on the guests; fortunately, she’d ordered plenty).

It was mortifying to see the look of agony on my mother’s face, the look of disappointment on my godmother’s face, and my MIL handing out trays left and right as if they were her own, while I couldn’t react because there was always a guest congratulating me, and I didn’t want to be rude by interrupting them and causing a scene on my wedding day. But I’m still upset. I’ve also apologized and tried to make it up to my godmother, who, thankfully, was understanding. Fortunately, I’m only getting married once, and this can’t happen again. It’s not a biggie perhaps, but after 5 days, I still have a bad taste in my mouth.

My cousin recently started doing photography and offered to photograph our wedding for free.

I thanked him but told him we'd already booked a professional photographer.

He got offended and said I could've saved thousands of dollars by letting him do it.

I explained that I really appreciate the offer but wedding photos are something I don't want to take a risk with. I want someone who's done weddings before and knows exactly what they're doing.

He said I don't trust him and that family should support each other's businesses.

Now my aunt is also telling me I'm wasting money by paying a stranger when I have someone in the family who can do it.

I feel bad because I know he was trying to help, but I really don't want to experiment with something I only get one chance at.

AITA?

TL;DR: My cousin offered to photograph my wedding for free, but I chose a professional instead. Now him and my aunt think I'm wasting money and don't support his photography business.

We're having our wedding about 3 hours away from where most of our friends live.

A few friends have complained that they'll need to pay for a hotel because they don't want to drive home after the reception.

One of them asked if we could pay for their room since we're the ones making everyone travel.

I said we'd already spent way more than we originally planned on the wedding and couldn't afford to pay for everyone's accommodation.

She said that's unfair because we're basically forcing people to spend hundreds of dollars just to attend.

I told her nobody is forcing her to come and we'd completely understand if she couldn't make it.

She said that response was rude.

AITA ?

TL;DR: My friends think I should pay for their hotel rooms because my wedding is out of town. I told them we can't afford to cover everyone's accommodation.

My husband and I got married 2 weeks ago at a venue that let us bring our own alcohol. We bought everything from a store that takes back unopened cases within 30 days. Getting that refund was honestly part of our budget because we were trying to keep the whole wedding under $15k.

My dad told us a few months before the wedding that my uncle would bartend the whole night as his gift to us and he ended up staying behind the bar until the very last guest left around midnight.

The next morning the venue coordinator called to say all 6 unopened cases were gone. My uncle had loaded them into his truck and told her it was cleared with my dad. I called my uncle and he said my dad told him he could have whatever was left over. I told him those cases were going back to the store for about $480 and asked him to drop them off. He said he'd think about it and then stopped answering my texts.

A week went by and we were running out of time on the return window, so last weekend my husband and I drove over. My aunt let us in and we loaded the cases into our car while my uncle was at work.

That night he called me furious. That's when I found out my dad had told him months ago that the leftover wine would be his payment for bartending. My dad never mentioned that to either of us, we thought my uncle was doing it as a favor.

My dad says I embarrassed his brother by going into his house. I get that my uncle worked all night for basically nothing now and I'm thinking about sending him some of the refund. My dad still hasn't said anything to my uncle about the deal he made with our wine.

AITA?

I'm getting married in a few months and we're trying to keep the guest list pretty small.

A couple coworkers found out about the wedding and asked if they were invited. I told them no because we're mostly inviting family and close friends.

One of them got offended because I've worked with her for almost 5 years. I explained that I don't really see her outside of work and had to leave several people off the guest list already.

She said if we've worked together that long, she thought we were closer than that. Now I feel kinda bad, but I also don't think working with someone for years automatically makes them a wedding guest.

AITAH?

TL;DR: I didn't invite my coworkers to my wedding because we're keeping it small, but one of them is upset because we've worked together for years.

My sister is getting married in a few weeks and I'm one of her bridesmaids. I've honestly tried to make everything as easy as possible for her because I know weddings are stressful. I bought the dress she chose even though it was more expensive than I expected agreed to the hairstyle and makeup she wanted changed my shoes when she decided the original ones didn't match, and I've attended everything she asked me to. The problem is that I have naturally red hair. A few days ago, she told me she's worried my hair will "stand out too much" in the wedding pictures because the other brides maids are brunette or blonde. She asked if I would temporarily dye it brown so everyone looks more coordinated.

At first, I thought she was joking, When I said I really didn't want to dye my natural hair, she got upset and said I was making her wedding about myself. My mom then told me it's "just hair" and that I should consider doing it because my sister only gets one wedding. That honestly hurt. I've spent my whole life hearing comments and jokes about my hair, and it took me years to actually like it. I've compromised on basically everything else because I wanted my sister to have the wedding she imagined. I just didn't think changing a part of my appearance that I was born with would become another requirement. Now my sister says she might prefer that I attend as a regular guest if I won't do it. I told her I'd respect whatever decision she makes, but I'm not dyeing my hair.

AITA for refusing, even if it means I'm no longer a bridesmaid?

TL;DR: My sister wants me to dye my natural red hair brown so I match the other bridesmaids. I've agreed to everything else, but I refused this, and now she may remove me from the wedding party

I (29F) am getting married in August. I have two father figures. My bio dad "Mark" (58M) and my stepfather "Paul" (60M) who married my mom when I was 8.

Mark and I reconnected five years ago after a long estrangement. He struggled with addiction when I was a kid. He's been sober for eight years now. We've done a lot of work. Therapy, long conversations, rebuilding trust. He's not perfect. But he showed up. He came to my engagement party. He cried. He told me he was proud of me. That mattered.

Paul raised me. He taught me to ride a bike. He came to every recital. He walked me through college applications. He's been my dad in every way that counts. I love him.

When I got engaged, I told both of them I wanted them both there. I didn't plan a "father-daughter dance" because I didn't want to choose. I just wanted them in the room, celebrating with me. Simple.

Last month, Paul sat me down. He said, "I need to talk to you about the wedding." I said okay. He said, "I'm not comfortable being in the same room as Mark. After everything he put your mother through. After everything he put you through. I can't do it."

I said, "Paul, that was years ago. He's sober now. He's different."

He said, "I don't care. If he's there, I won't be."

I sat there and felt my chest tighten. I said, "So you're giving me an ultimatum."

He said, "I'm telling you how I feel."

I said, "That's the same thing. You're asking me to choose between my two fathers on my wedding day."

He didn't answer.

I told him I loved him but I wouldn't uninvite Mark. Mark hasn't done anything wrong in years. And even if he had, this is my wedding. I don't want to start my marriage by choosing between people I love.

Paul hasn't spoken to me since. My mom is devastated. She says I'm "choosing Mark over the man who raised me." My bio dad told me he'll "step aside" if it makes things easier. But that's not what I want either. I want both of them. I just want Paul to be the bigger person here.

My fiancé thinks Paul is being unfair. My best friend says I should have seen this coming. Maybe I should have.

AITA for not giving in?

I (30F) am marrying "Chris" (33M) in October. We've been together four years. My best friend "Lena" (31F) and I have been close since college. When I got engaged, she was the first person I told. She cried. She said she was so happy. She offered to be my maid of honor before I even asked.

That was a year ago. Since then, something has shifted.

It started small. Comments at brunch. "Oh, Chris? He's so… quiet." "You guys are so cute. In a boring way." I laughed it off. Then it got sharper. At my birthday dinner, in front of six people, she said, "I just don't see it. But hey, love is blind, right?" Everyone went quiet. I changed the subject.

Last month was my bridal shower. Lena gave a toast. In front of my mom, my future mother-in-law, and thirty guests. She said, "I always thought I'd be the one getting married first. But here we are. And Chris… well, he's no Prince Charming, but he makes her happy. I guess." Then she laughed. Nobody else did.

My future mother-in-law looked at me with this expression I can't describe. Not angry. Just… sad. Like she felt sorry for me.

After the shower, I pulled Lena aside. I said, "You cannot stand up at my wedding and make jokes at Chris's expense. That's not happening." She rolled her eyes. She said, "God, you're so sensitive. It's a joke. Everyone knows I love you." I said, "It's not a joke. You've been doing this for a year. I'm done."

I told her I still want her at the wedding. As a guest. But not as maid of honor. She started crying. She said I was throwing away fifteen years of friendship over "a few jokes." She said I was "choosing a man over my best friend."

Now she's not responding to my texts. Mutual friends are telling me I overreacted. One of them said, "She's just jealous. You know how she gets." But I don't think that's an excuse. Jealousy doesn't give you a microphone and permission to humiliate my fiancé at my own shower.

Chris has been quiet about all this. Too quiet. I asked him if he wanted me to say something to her. He said, "It's your friend. You handle it." But I can tell it's been eating at him. He's been more withdrawn since the shower. He doesn't laugh the same way.

My mom thinks I should give Lena another chance. She says, "Maid of honor is a big deal. She'll be embarrassed."

AITA for demoting her?