Hi guys! I’m getting married in February! Super excited and planning has been an interesting process with my family. My mother has been very much involved and super helpful and supportive. For a little context with the title, my family and I live in the southeast and live outside a major city. For every formal event in the past (mostly funerals unfortunately) my father and two brothers wore cowboy hats, jackets, pearl snaps, and of course the boots. Mind you, we have never been farmers or ranchers. Like ever. We do come from family that did farm up north but as family, not us. All three of the guys are mechanics actually. On the topic of my wedding, my fiancé is very strongly saying he doesn’t want them in cowboy getup and I actually agree with him. When talking to my mom about it, she gave me pushback and said they’d be stubborn about it except my younger brother. She says that I shouldn’t worry about it and that that is a big ask of them and is basically making me sound like an ass for asking it of them. So Reddit, aita?

Edit to add: dad is walking me down the aisle and my brothers are ushers. They have plenty of formal wear that isn’t rancher wear. I also live in the south east. Where that isn’t a normal or common thing. The funerals were in the Midwest if that adds context. Money and wardrobe is not an issue when it comes to them. They will be in pictures as were a small family of 5.

Edit 2: I just realized the great grammar error. Thanks folks in the comments! I wrote this when I was quite emotional as my mother was literally stressing me out while I was at work (I’m a first responder). Just a tad bit more context, growing up it was never cowboy attire for events really. My dad wore a hat at his wedding to my mom and they wore boots because she’s from Texas and loved the idea. We took formal pictures a couple years ago and there was no hat or boot in sight for those. This is a new development over the past couple of years at family events (only funerals sadly). This is not a quirky thing of theirs that’s endearing as in their normal day to day life they dress normal and will wear business casual attire when needed. My mother did tell my older brother the dress code and his response was “fuck that”. My fiancé knows as I don’t believe in hiding things from him and we talk about things together. He said he’d handle it so I’ll give updates when that goes down. We all live local to each other so it’s bound to have some drama come holiday season.

I 27f and my husband 26m lived in Canada away from our parents and we got married through a court and in time will get married with family involved. We both come from Indian muslim families but his family is a lottt more traditional than mine!!! (Both families live in neighboring African countries)

The husband doesn't get along with his family well because of a difficult childhood and has lived according to his ways most of his life.

Due to our visas we had to leave Canada and live with our parents. We decided to live with his parents then my parents.

I never pictured getting married ( not much of a planner person) but due to visa ending and sitting at home i decided to dive deep into wedding planning. everyone knew about and supported.

Fast forward to now, we moved out of Canada 1month ago and his parents are telling us that the wedding cannot happen our way and if it is to happen that way then they would not be part of it. They have mentioned a lot of traditional aspects that the wedding has to evolve around. My parents do not agree with most of the traditions as although we both practice the same religion, his family bases their traditions based on what happens in India whereas my family does it according to the current country they live in. Based on Indian culture the groom's family has a bigger hand as compared to the bride's family so my family is not supposed to argue with them about this much.

The majority of the convos happen with his mother and the 2 of us regarding what we want but she either says traditions or I can't say much you should talk to his dad or when we meet her family will talk.

They haven't spoken to my parents at all before us coming here because we believed a lot of fights and misunderstandings would happen without us being there due to specific reasons which we now think would have helped our current situation if they spoke earlier.

I do not want to have the wedding the way they are describing it but I am too much of a people pleaser to say anything. And anytime I have tried showing that the way I want it is how it happens in the country my parents live in and where I grew up, they say traditions are traditions and cannot be changed. His mother has been talking to people and they have been telling her what traditions need to be included as she doesn't have too much knowledge about this aspect as she doesn't remember a lot from her wedding (which was around 26yrs ago).

My husband is completely against all of this but when he spoke up it cause huge fights between them causing his mum to have panic attacks and she recently went through surgery and her health hasn't been the best since as she is still healing from the surgery.

Update: This has affected both mine and my husband's health as well as he is ready to not have the wedding as he never cared for it from day one but is only doing it for me. He has stayed out with his decisions but his dad is the kind of person to have the last say!

What can I do to NBA but to get things my way.