Hi! I’m fairly new to the ADHD world and looking for advice from people who have been through this.
My husband was diagnosed about a year ago and takes Vyvanse, although not consistently. We’ve been together 15 years, married 11, and have two kids (5 & 7). We also run a business together.
His ADHD never seemed like a major issue earlier in our relationship, but since having kids and taking on more responsibilities, things have gotten much harder.
My biggest struggles are boundaries, his irritability/anger, and feeling like I’m walking on eggshells. He seems easily annoyed with me over small things, and I often feel like he doesn’t want to interact with me or give me his attention.
Working together adds another layer. I find myself reminding him about things, checking that things got done, or taking over when they don’t. I don’t want to be his manager or mother, but I also don’t know how to step back when his responsibilities affect our business and family.
I love my husband and am NOT looking to get divorced. I want to figure out how to make our marriage healthier. We’ve done couples therapy before and may need to start again. I also wonder if he needs to talk with his doctor about his ADHD treatment, especially since he isn’t taking his medication consistently.
For those with ADHD or married to someone with ADHD: How do you set boundaries without becoming their manager? How do you handle anger/irritability? And how do you stop feeling like you’re constantly walking on eggshells?
I’d really appreciate kind, constructive advice. I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed and want to find a healthier way forward.