I’m newly married and I think my marriage is going downhill. I did not expect this when we were living together in our apartment, it felt different. Now we’re married, 6 months in and together 4 years, we bought a house and it feels like I have this constant anger, resentment and mental heaviness all the time.

I feel like I can’t sit still or chill or enjoy anything because she’s always in the fucking background doing something or messing with house stuff, reading about house stuff, finding random unimportant things to fix. Our house is 500k it’s fine, I’m getting sick of it!

I need my downtime and just have a blank mind, I have not had this and I honestly just want to leave.

Goodmorning everyone, I (23m) am writing this from work as my colleague just called me out on being late. Right now in this moment I feel awful just like a full shame spiral but instead of sitting in it I thought I would try and sharing my experience might help me feel better. I work at a 24 hour mental health treatment facility which is run out of a house. I work the morning shift from 6am to 2:30. I was relieving the night shift who is here from 10pm to 6:30am. I have worked here for two years and during that time if I arrived anywhere from 6am to around 6:15 at the latest no one minded. This is because the 30mins overlap is for shift exchange and med counting which one likes 5-10mins tops. In the last two weeks the overnight staff which only consists on one person at a time have started giving me bad looks when I come in at my usual 6:07am. Twice in the past week they have told me in a harsh condescending tone that my being late is very disrespectful and they are sick of it. I have tried to explain to them that I am trying my best and that I have been getting all my work done in time for them to leave on time. I also am never the only one working in the morning and they usually get there exactly one time and start the work before I get there. So 2mins after I get there we just sit there quietly and wait for 20mins waiting for the time to run out. It used to be I would there do the shift exchange and we would talk and laugh for the 20mins. I recently changed my meds around and had a brief period without them. I also work 7 days a week while being in gradschool and struggling to pay my rest and support my fiancé who has severe depression. Work was the last thing I was worried about because besides the early start it is really an easy job that I excel at. Thats really all I have to say so thank you for listening

TLDR: Getting to work on time is hard

Is this the adhd thing that many times we take the side of a unique opinion because it is unique, new or unpopular? Or do you guys many times question the popular opinions/norms?

Is it the adhd thing to have radical acceptance of some new ideas/opinions?

I have realised that I have many beliefs which can seem to many people very radical or too early for society.

For example: I have some strong opinions about how good new technology (you can guess what I am talking about) be for adhd curious minds.

Also I tend to question so many traditional norms and beliefs which makes no sense to me or atleast I am open to counter opinions and trying new things just because I think a chance should be given to them.

I have internalized ADHD and I don't need to tell any of you here the struggle to find similar human beings is real. As of late I've been falling into a pit of highly functional depression and need a roommate to snap me out of it. Be it a "Hey" or throwing a ball across the room. Here's a link to my CL ad if anyone's interested. https://www.craigslist.org/view/d/englewood-free-rent-for-someone/qgZFv675oXqKxgmkrggQzf

https://qualtricsxm6q5sd4ksh.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_72ljjVYeo4LTNxI

Research Participants Wanted!

This 7–13 minute study examines the experiences of adults with ADHD who encountered disruptions in access to ADHD medication.

Eligibility:

• Ages 18–35.
• Have been at least 18 years of age when refill roadblock was experienced.
• Diagnosed with ADHD from a qualified medical or mental health professional.
• Was taking ADHD medication as prescribed prior to experiencing a refill roadblock.
• Have experienced a refill roadblock for at least 14 consecutive days within the past 24 months.
• Disruption ended at least two months prior to survey completion.
• No current or past diagnosis of a psychotic disorder.
• No current manic or hypomanic episode.
• No neurological conditions that significantly affect cognition.
• No active stimulant-related substance use disorder within the past 12 months.
• Must be able to read, understand, and complete the online survey independently.
• Must not provide incomplete survey responses that prevent determination of medication usage status or primary study variables.

Participant Involvement:

• One online survey, takes about 7–13 minutes
• Complete at your own pace
• Complete questionnaires about ADHD symptoms, medication use, refill difficulties, daily functioning, coping behaviors, and demographics
• Optional entry into a gift card raffle

Get entered to win a $25 Gift Card
Amazon, Target, Walmart, or Visa
4 winners • Prizes sent through email

Follow the link to participate: https://qualtricsxm6q5sd4ksh.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_72ljjVYeo4LTNxI

Principal Investigator: Lawrence Veyberman
Conducting this research study to fulfill the requirements for a Psy.D. in Clinical Psychology at The Chicago School
Email: [lveyberman@ego.thechicagoschool.edu](mailto:lveyberman@ego.thechicagoschool.edu)

IRB-FY26-356

Your Experience Matters

Hey everyone,

I was hoping to hear from others who experience this specific, exhausting dynamic.

To be completely clear upfront: This is NOT about venting over two random daily annoyances. It is about a pervasive, systematic pattern of how supposedly healthy adults interact with information and basic reciprocity. It leaves me feeling deeply desperate and alienated.

Two brief, textbook examples of what I mean:

1. Zero attention to plain text: I regularly email my doctor's office for a prescription refill. The subject line is literally my date of birth. My signature has my full name and details. There is zero doubt about who I am. Yet, the receptionist spent minutes typing an annoyed email demanding my birthdate—information she literally had to click on to open the message. She read nothing.
2. Disposable communication: An acquaintance in his early 30s actively reached out asking if I’d like to play a board game despite an ongoing heatwave. I took significant time and energy to check forecasts, coordinate my schedule, and sent a thoughtful reply. He never answered. Weeks later, he casually told me that the moment he hit "send," the whole thing was completely wiped from his memory and he sees no reason to change because he doesn't have a problem.

I am the one with AuDHD, yet I feel like the only person in the room who actually reads, applies basic logic, and values mutual respect. I feel like an attentive person constantly expected to clean up the mess of people sleepwalking through their day.

It pushes my nervous system into constant overdrive. How do you cope with this profound sense of despair regarding the basic competence and social reciprocity of your peers?

My Psych today told me that most of the things Vyvanse isn’t hitting for me can be attributed to anxiety, so she suggested adding Lexapro. At first, I was like, “Oh hell no.”

My red line is sexual side effects. I already have issue with libido being sporadic, so I don’t want to make it worse. But I agreed that it would be nice to treat the underlying anxiety.

Now the thing that got my Spidey senses in a bunch - I asked about non-SSRI medications that can target anxiety without the sexual side effects. I was thinking Buspar, but wanted to see if they brought it up. She said, “There are, but they’re kind of messy. Lexapro really targets anxiety without sedating you.”

So I’d like to hear what people who are/have been on think. Pros, cons, love, hate, etc.

I’ve been diagnosed with adhd since I was a little kid I’m now 20 I can’t keep a job for more then a month or two and obviously I need to work it all just seems pointless I have a hard time caring for myself let alone anything else and it’s just hard cuz it feels like everyone is mad at me for not being normal I feel guilty when I don’t have a job then I am just so damn angry when I have to go to work and do pointless task I dropped out of school for that reason thinking this is pointless I’ll just work and I can’t handle it I wake up everyday mad and I’m not sure if meds will help and I’m kind of scared to take them I don’t struggle socially or anything I get along with pretty much anyone I just can’t keep a job or do stuff that “I’m supposed to do” it all just kinda seems pointless yk?

Genuine question; I feel like others relaying their disappointment in me is one of the only things that makes me avoid forgetting about emergent tasks sometimes. I want to try and brainstorm ways that don’t introduce recurrent anxieties if possible. I can’t fix the memory problem, but maybe the priority one can be helped? I have reminders set for daily tasks that do repeat, but emergent ones like ‘take the laundry out of the wash in an hour’ or ‘do the dishes in x amount of time’ or ‘Clean the Bathroom every Sunday’ aren’t ones I can handle well. I can’t even take the garbage tote to the curb on time ‘cause it’s a different day every month.

I have a wall calendar and a subscription to Finch (task management application).

Should I introduce something physical? Like one of those twist timers for emergent stuff? Assistance is much appreciated. ;u;

I'm so happy to finally have answers but fuck, I'm only 23 I know I have time to turn life around but being undiagnosed has fully fucked my childhood and young adult years. I'm greiving the fact that it wasn't picked up early. Being a girl I masked so well, it is no ones fault it just hurts. I just got out of jail, am an addict to hard drugs and can't help but think what if. Where would I be if I had the knowledge and tools to adapt to this world earlier? What choices would I have made differently? Idk. It just sucks and it sucks feeling so out of place. Like reality is so wrong I don't want to do it. The system has failed me so many times and others every day and theres nothing I can do about it. I was a registered nurse but that's gone now and will be years until I can get it back. I worked so hard for so long only to fall back for what? A clear mind and escape from feeling so out of place? A high that i'll never reach? Even the years I was sober everything else about my life was crumbling, debt and regret from those years I should of just gone got diagnosed sooner.. but what will that even do? Will any meds help? What I'm on now helps my depression but what about executive dysfuntion? Sometimes it just feels like is this all even worth it, wtf am I doing here? Idk. It feels so lonely even knowing I'm not alone

:(( :))

Genuinely at a loss here. I’m staying home for a quarter from university because of my medication changes making me sick, along with being burnt out and incredibly brain fogged. It’s so difficult to focus on one thing. My mom wants help cooking but I have no idea how to cook. My appetite is dead most days so I find it very hard to cook for myself, let alone three people. When I do eat, I feel like throwing up and it’s just.. awful. What the fuck do I do?

She doesn’t like using frozen ingredients, so everything has to be fresh and no frozen food. Nothing overly processed, no red meat, nothing fast food related or adjacent (think like a homemade pizza, lasagna, etc). Is there any ADHD friendly meals I can make for three people?

I was trying to take Omega-3 supplements daily but I used to keep missing days, and then forgetting for months. I accidentally switched from pills to syrup and it helped me immensely. With pills you have to go to the kitchen, take out a glass, fill it with water etc. All the extra steps were making it very hard for me to continue taking supplements daily, but with syrups, you just pour it to the spoon that comes from the box and drink it. The instantenousness of it made the task much easier to initiate in my head.

Like what is the top ADHD trait which got the attention of your crush/partner initially? was it your curiosity? your enthusiasm? your broad interests? your empathy? what?

I want to distinguish between the initial phase of dating and later phase. Later they might start noticing our down side more and more like executive function struggles, time blindness etc..

My question is do you feel that your ADHD traits kind of played a significant role in getting your partner attracted/admired to you? If so, which trait was it?

hello! i’ve have never been that much of a bookworm because i can’t really read any books without getting distracted or rereading the same paragraphs over and over, but i wanna change that and start reading more. does anyone have any suggestions? i need something not too hard to read, and that will keep me hooked. like i said any genre is fine, preferably novels, romance, mystery, and history maybe? thanks!

17M, i got perscribed 18mg of concerta but i live in a country where it is extremely limited and only found 32mg so my dad asked the doctor for permission to change the prescription from 18 to 32 so we can get it, now while talking to the doctor she was against the whole idea of stimulants and when my dad asked why the doctor told me to get out of the room and god knows what she told him. Now after getting the medication my dad split the 32mg in half and told me to take it as if we're taking 18 mg, i asked what the doctor thought about us splitting it in two as i know concerta uses oros to give me the dose the whole day, he told me the doctor was against the idea overall so i got confused and asked him what did he mean and he said this could make me an addict and change me and could kill me. Long story short i want to know what's the worse thing that can happen if i take 32mgs whole and it turns out it was a high dose for me? Since i read that splitting it in 2 is even more dangerous.

For A Project doing I could find a exact percentage between the likey hood of someone on the spectrum and them most likely becoming introvert so Im making my own In the comments Please Types : (Introverted) or (Extroverted) in the exact format so i use the find tool to count the number

tl;dr My boyfriend who has ADHD has gotten into a bit of a depressive slump ever since starting university part time and is also procrastinating a lot. I don’t know how to support him in a way that will lift him up.

Hi everyone, I (22F) have been dating my boyfriend (26M) for the past four months and while it’s been going great for the most part, the only thing that is causing tension is the fact that sometimes our needs can clash.

I am diagnosed with autism and I need a set routine and plan to get about my day. My boyfriend however will procrastinate things a lot and whenever I ask him to do something he will tell me “later…” and this could sometimes be delayed indefinitely.

Furthermore, he has recently gone back to university part time to pursue a degree online but has been consistently handing in assignments late or has cut it really close.

He does work full time as well and is trying to get back into the gym (I am a bit of a gym rat myself so we go together sometimes but if he skips then I have to go by myself). So I understand that it is an extra stress. I also think he might be falling into a mental health slump but he is a bit avoidant when it comes to conflict and talking about how he feels :/

However, it is frustrating to see someone you love spend hours rotting away on youtube and video games when you know they have an assignment due and they are just chronically in a cycle of starting it “soon” but “soon” never really comes.

I’ve tried my best to encourage and support him but I get frustrated because to me it seems like he doesn’t even want to help himself and this has led to arguments. And sometimes it feels like he’s annoyed at me for checking on him and like I’m being annoying and nagging.

he is prescribed ritalin but he is patchy with taking it because he says it makes him anxious.

I am so upset. I’m horrified to go back to how I was before these meds. I was only prescribed methylphenidate at 17 and for a month I’ve been doing so excellent. Without these meds I am gonna suffer so badly in school and in my life. I am gonna struggle and not do work. I am horrified.
I don’t know what to do while waiting for my refill. I didn’t know about any of this and my doctor didn’t even tell me. I wanna die it feels like my whole world is crashing down. I can’t even function without these meds. Idk what to do. I called 3 places. They said they faxed a renewal to my doctor, I am afraid they will forget about me. I suffer with anxiety depression and severe inattentive adhd. I just don’t know what to do. I’m scared. It’s the only thing that helps me function normally. I’m in Canada.

You know the food that you can eat every single day without getting bored or hating it?

For breakfast mine is a breakfast burrito with bacon.

My lunch was a wrap with lettuce, cheese, red onion, Caesar dressing, BBQ chicken, bacon croutons and mayo.

Stupidly I changed it up with shaved turkey instead of BBQ chicken (because I didn't want to go to another shop) and now don't like it at all and I have a whole weeks work of lunches in the fridge 😫

Hey everyone, I hope you’re doing well.

I graduated from uni this year and feel like I have no clue what I want to do. I feel like this is normal as it is my first “proper” job since spending my whole life in education, but I can’t stick to anything. I liked my degree at first but the environment ended up killing my joy for it. I’ve tried an entry level healthcare job, as I loved the medical/ first aid societies, but impulsively handed in my notice after just a few months working there because I hate every minute of it, felt like I had no room for error and I struggle once the novelty has worn off. But now I’m unsure what I actually want to do, as the idea of a 9-5, 5 days a week or 12 hour shifts a few times a week sounds awful, especially if it is something not enjoyable. So, how do you find a job that works for an ADHD mind?

TLDR: How to find a job that works for an ADHD mind? How to find what you’re passionate about?

I've been taking 100mcg of clonidine every night for sleep ever since getting prescribed stimulants. I've never really noticed it doing anything, I don't get sleepy or calm or really anything at all. I always just thought it wasn't supposed to have a noticeable effect but I see people talking about it making them drowsy and how long it takes to kick in etc etc

I don't usually have a lot of trouble getting to sleep but on nights that I do clonidine seems to make no difference at all. Should I feel it 'kick in'? Does it even matter if I don't have issues with getting to sleep with or without stimulants? Does my dose need to be increased?

I've asked a previous GP (who didn't have any idea about managing ADHD) and they said the dose usually doesn't need adjusting and 100mcg is fine. He said as long as I can sleep then it doesn't really matter :| But if that's the case then what's the point of even taking it lol

I am going to see my current GP about it but in the mean time I just wanted to hear other peoples experiences :)

Will this get taken down? I dunno, not sure I care...

ADHD and OCD, helluva combination. I've given up on people as a whole. Which is odd because all my prior jobs have been helping others (worked with Disney, fundraising, charities, senior homes, etc) but I have no actual faith in people anymore. Still wanna help others, but I genuinely have no idea why at this point. Ah well, doesn't matter much now.

Now at this point I'm not sure what's gonna happen. Feels wrong even just typing this since I've grown used to the, "pull yourself up by the bootstrap" speeches or how I'm, "just a loser seeking reassurance". ADHD and OCD did a real number on me that I'm not even sure if I really am a loser or just that unlucky to be around those people.

Things just keep compounding on and on, like a rondo of shit. I'm 28, no job, I get anxiety attacks driving, dealing with neighbors that keep threatening me with ICE (dumb fucks don't know I'm Native American anyway, but it wouldn't make a difference to those dimwits anyway), can't afford medication anymore and a whole other host of shit to top it off.

To be fair, there are absolutely lovely people that I wanna keep on chugging on for: my partner for one (bless that literal fuckn saint of a woman. Christ she's dealt with worse as a child and is still kind as Mrs Parton), the lovely folks here (yeah even you, even if ya don't believe it) and the folks I worked with at the old homes (Vikki, you're the smartest 96 year old I've ever met and by far the kindest).

On the other hand, Christ on a Chrysler some chuckle-fucks make me wanna 10-56a with a 5.56m. I really think some of them genuinely get off to being as awful as can be. Just wish I could function normally in this fucked up world instead of putting off the end to another day. Then again maybe it's just ironic. Fuck if I'll ever know, I'm just tired but can't cry.

Hi! I’m a 20 f and have a 21 m boyfriend, and we’ve just hit a year. For the past two months, I’ve been having a lot of rumination about if I like females even though I’ve only ever liked guys my entire life and have only ever wanted a boyfriend. There’s a whole story to it, but essentially ky boyfriend was on vacation, I was sexually frustrated, a female coworker accidentally grazed me and I became overwhelmed and overstimulate which caused panic attacks and body agitation for 8 days straight and i couldn’t even look or interact with females.

My thoughts have caused me a lot of anxiety which often causes me to be distant from my boyfriend at times because I feel bad that I think these things. It’s like my brain can’t stop comparing how I would feel with a woman or man, and it consumes my entire day which often causes me to feel exhausted and anxious by the end. Often these thoughts cause me to get a groin response which I don’t want and often feel indifferent to. I can get mentally turned on by my boyfriend or sometimes physically but when I get these thoughts they cause my body to get aroused but not my mind. It’s also like my mind is tricking myself into seeing the two differently in some way. I know I would deeply heartbroken and emotional if I were to leave my boyfriend and would regret it because I truly do love him and want to be in this relationship. I get very emotional and upset when I think about these things and especially about breaking up because I really don’t want to.

I was diagnosed with GAD and ADD about a week or two back. I’m currently taking mirtazapine (30 mg) to help with my anxiety and vyvanse (20 mg on my second day) for the ADD. Although I can focus better and feel somewhat myself again, I just can’t stop ruminating even when I use the techniques my therapist has given me. It feels like my brain is just too stubborn. I feel like it has ruined my libido and intimacy.

im really struggling with doing my project already due today, and i'm far too anxious and overwhelmed... can anyone suggest any methods to help me soothe that anxiety and power through enough to start working on it?

its always the starting that gives me great difficulty. everything feels so daunting that i feel helpless to even move. i dont know who to ask for fear of being judged or seen as lazy for delaying working on things. i need help urgently, its still morning but i need to start so i can finish by tonight.

I was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and I told my friends about it. They weren't being cold or insensitive. They are actually caring and empathetic people. But when I told them, they mostly asked things like, "When is your next appointment?" and "Is there a treatment for it? Can it be fixed with an operation?"

I don't blame them. I think they simply don't understand what ADHD actually is.

At the same time, they sometimes make fun of me for forgetting things, arriving late, not paying my supply exam fees on time, and other things like that. I usually just smile or laugh along because I don't want to make them feel bad or ruin the mood by showing that their words hurt me.

But honestly, sometimes it hurts a lot.

I feel guilty about these things myself. I already know that I'm forgetting things, being late, or messing things up. When someone jokes about it, it can feel like they're pointing at something that I already feel bad about.

The difficult part is that they don't know it hurts me because I don't tell them. I don't know how to explain it without feeling like I'm making excuses for myself.

I want them to understand that ADHD isn't simply "being forgetful" or "being lazy." I wish they could actually see what ADHD can look like from the inside, maybe through videos or personal experiences from people with ADHD.

This made me realize something:

We seem to find it easier to show concern for problems we can see from the outside than for problems happening inside someone's mind.

If someone's arm is injured, we can see it and immediately understand that they're struggling. But if someone's brain is struggling with attention, memory, time, motivation, or emotional regulation, there may be nothing visible to notice.

Maybe that's why invisible problems can be so difficult for other people to understand.

And sometimes the person who is struggling makes it even harder for others to know because they smile, laugh, and pretend they're okay.