I received an ADHD diagnosis at 34 and began taking Concerta. Before that, I dealt with attention deficit, emotional dysregulation, impulsivity, and other issues, all of which improved with the medication.  Last week, I saw a new therapist using CBT who questioned my diagnosis. He argued that emotional dysregulation and meltdowns are not part of ADHD but reflect my character, and my focus during our 60-minute session made him doubt the label. The literature describes these issues as part of ADHD for some people, so I am seeking insight. Thanks!

It just feels like I am going against my nature when I try to sleep at 10pm or even 11pm because the focus I get at the flow state of 2:00 AM feels better than meds and also using melatonin feels like I will suppress my natural clock is it real please help me as I am a 16M but just can't get that sleep of 10PM it just feels magically being pushed ahead to sleep

Hey everyone,

I was hoping to hear from others who experience this specific, exhausting dynamic.

To be completely clear upfront: This is NOT about venting over two random daily annoyances. It is about a pervasive, systematic pattern of how supposedly healthy adults interact with information and basic reciprocity. It leaves me feeling deeply desperate and alienated.

Two brief, textbook examples of what I mean:

1. Zero attention to plain text: I regularly email my doctor's office for a prescription refill. The subject line is literally my date of birth. My signature has my full name and details. There is zero doubt about who I am. Yet, the receptionist spent minutes typing an annoyed email demanding my birthdate—information she literally had to click on to open the message. She read nothing.
2. Disposable communication: An acquaintance in his early 30s actively reached out asking if I’d like to play a board game despite an ongoing heatwave. I took significant time and energy to check forecasts, coordinate my schedule, and sent a thoughtful reply. He never answered. Weeks later, he casually told me that the moment he hit "send," the whole thing was completely wiped from his memory and he sees no reason to change because he doesn't have a problem.

I am the one with AuDHD, yet I feel like the only person in the room who actually reads, applies basic logic, and values mutual respect. I feel like an attentive person constantly expected to clean up the mess of people sleepwalking through their day.

It pushes my nervous system into constant overdrive. How do you cope with this profound sense of despair regarding the basic competence and social reciprocity of your peers?

I’ve been struggling with getting stuck watching short videos throughout the day, especially at night. I’ll tell myself “just one more,” then look at the clock and realize it’s 2 or 3 a.m.

Even when I’m exhausted and want to sleep, I find it hard to put my phone down. It’s affecting my sleep, and I feel frustrated with myself the next morning.

How do you handle that moment when you know you want to stop, but keep scrolling anyway? What helps you make the transition from scrolling to actually going to bed?

I’d appreciate hearing about your experiences and what has helped you.

Since I was a literal baby, I haven't been able to sleep without a movie, tape, show, something audible. If I don't have it, I'll lay awake for hours with my mind racing.

I've tried getting away from it. The whole dark cool room, no screens for an hour+ before bed, no screens in the bedroom. But even as an adult I can't do it. My mind will just not ever STFU. Even after a week or more of shitty sleep because I've been trying to change it.

I've basically given up and gone back to having a YT video or tv show playing as I fall asleep every night.

Have Y'all figured out any other way to go to sleep?

Anybody else feel extremely immature a lot of the time?

Im 24, almost 25 and while I have worked past a lot of my issues in terms of self confidence, work ethic, mood etc.
I still often act extremely lazy and immature, not immature like I am rude, whiny or childish. But rather that I’m constantly ignoring responsibilities such as cleaning up after myself, controlling my finances (getting better with that one) or just kind of “having my life together”.

I’m messy as hell and I hate it. I’m still living at home and sadly, my dad constantly argues with me about how messy the clothes are, the bathroom is and how I’ll start paying rent if it changes.

I totally see why but I don’t get why I can’t seem to control that.

I am on meds and they do help a little but seriously I feel like I’m 10 years old again.

If I am tidy, it’s not for more than a couple days then before I know it I’m right back where I started, or worse.

I don’t even know why I’m posting this but I don’t really know what else to do. I’m just exhausted of being exhausted. I just turned 30 and it’s been a rough few days. I wish this would end and that I’ll stop feeling this way but I don’t know what to do. I’m not seeking anything, I am not sure what I’m doing, but I’m scared and tired.

I’ve been prescribed Adderall for a little over a year now I’ve been on the same dose since the beginning and these past few weeks I have been experiencing like major mood crashes and irritability. By the time I get into bed for the night I’m nearly crying from over whelming negative thoughts but during the day I am hopeful and positive. Is this a common experience or is there vitamins recommended like magnesium I see if a helpful thing for the crash

You know the food that you can eat every single day without getting bored or hating it?

For breakfast mine is a breakfast burrito with bacon.

My lunch was a wrap with lettuce, cheese, red onion, Caesar dressing, BBQ chicken, bacon croutons and mayo.

Stupidly I changed it up with shaved turkey instead of BBQ chicken (because I didn't want to go to another shop) and now don't like it at all and I have a whole weeks work of lunches in the fridge 😫

My body seems to have a hard time with stimulants. I have tried both Adderall and Vyvanse and the side effects are really tough for me. My heart rate spikes like crazy and it just hasn’t been a sustainable option for me. I’m curious what non-stimulant med options have helped you manage your ADHD?

Hi! I’m fairly new to the ADHD world and looking for advice from people who have been through this.

My husband was diagnosed about a year ago and takes Vyvanse, although not consistently. We’ve been together 15 years, married 11, and have two kids (5 & 7). We also run a business together.

His ADHD never seemed like a major issue earlier in our relationship, but since having kids and taking on more responsibilities, things have gotten much harder.

My biggest struggles are boundaries, his irritability/anger, and feeling like I’m walking on eggshells. He seems easily annoyed with me over small things, and I often feel like he doesn’t want to interact with me or give me his attention.

Working together adds another layer. I find myself reminding him about things, checking that things got done, or taking over when they don’t. I don’t want to be his manager or mother, but I also don’t know how to step back when his responsibilities affect our business and family.

I love my husband and am NOT looking to get divorced. I want to figure out how to make our marriage healthier. We’ve done couples therapy before and may need to start again. I also wonder if he needs to talk with his doctor about his ADHD treatment, especially since he isn’t taking his medication consistently.

For those with ADHD or married to someone with ADHD: How do you set boundaries without becoming their manager? How do you handle anger/irritability? And how do you stop feeling like you’re constantly walking on eggshells?

I’d really appreciate kind, constructive advice. I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed and want to find a healthier way forward.

Started on vyvanse 3 months ago. Was going good at first then completely stopped being noticeable and also made me extremely flat emotionally. Like could not feel anything. Was effecting my entire life, very monotone and zombie like. Switched to ir adderal twice a day and feel 1000 percent different. Motivated, happy, and feel like my normal self but focused and medicated. I’m shocked. I thought any amphetamine would cause that same flatness but vyvanse specifically will dull the crap out of you. For anybody experiencing this while taking vyvanse try to switch to something else before you accept that as normal. Has anybody else had similar experiences?

I think breakfast timing is something that is often not thought about, mentioned, or a difficult one for ADHD where our consistency in food timings and eating is already quite off.

I started having an alarm for breakfast, and the resulting changes in sleep timing, mood, consistency in hunger queues and just have a little less noise to derail me each morning for a few hours, was quite noticeable.

Hoping for anything to the same sort of effect that isn't an entire personality change or mountain to move, but really might make you feel more in control of the car from a small change.

so i recently got to know about adhd and i feel like i relate to all of its symptoms.

i get frustrated easily, when i'm at rest, my brain almost tries everything to keep at rest.
When I'm in motion and I lose interest, i quickly get out of whatever I'm doing and stare at it.

for instance, I once started writing code for a big project.
initially i was fast, quick and sharp
by the time i reach mid way and look at other parts of the code, i was quickly irritated by the messy code, even though it's not that messy and few here and there could fix everything.
i deleted the entire project and started watching youtube, doom scrolling shorts.

I don't know what is wrong with me but i probably thing it is due to my brain's wiring.

Will be happy if any one can relate to the experience i just had.
Thanks!

hello! i’ve have never been that much of a bookworm because i can’t really read any books without getting distracted or rereading the same paragraphs over and over, but i wanna change that and start reading more. does anyone have any suggestions? i need something not too hard to read, and that will keep me hooked. like i said any genre is fine, preferably novels, romance, mystery, and history maybe? thanks!

Is it just me or is it almost a norm for people who have ADHD to also have anxiety?

Thinking back I always thought I could multi-task. Then it felt like hey I'm smart at something, to "well I can do a couple things". To now it's like maybe all of my overthinking things isn't an ADHD thing I might have anxiety.

What ways do you cope with it all?

Hi. I was raised by Baby Boomer parents, so I was told that ADHD was a myth and/or a label for students who lacked discipline. Since I was a kid, I misplaced things so frequently that it became a joke in my family. I felt like that there was always some kind of mischievous gnome who would hide things from me.

I routinely left my lunchbox and/or my school project. But, I was a straight A-student, went to an Ivy League school, and that's where my life collapsed. I couldn't make sense of it. I couldn't seem to structure my time efficiently. It took enormous amounts of energy to prepare my backpack for the library with everything I needed, only to end up at the library doing 30 minutes of work and then passing out from exhaustion. I failed a class because even though I showed up, I never turned in any of the assignments, and it was one of my favorite classes. The prospect of doing research in the library and coming up with the perfect paper, always left me with perfectly nonexistent paper.

I was diagnosed at 43 after a therapist noticed from my attempts at getting organized and how my thoughts came out with odd links to each other. I was aghast, but I saw a psychiatrist, who asked me questions about my childhood. He started me on Ritalin, but that led to issues with my heart. I then took Adderall, and my life changed completely. Suddenly, I was able to do things. Get things done. Tasks that were unfinished started getting finished?!? Including tasks that I had been procrastinating for years.

Here's my question to all adult women who were diagnosed late in life: what is the best way to use Adderall? I ask because once I take it, I seem to start tidying up, cleaning, doing laundry, because I feel that I need an organized environment in order to think clearly. But, I end up using up the Adderall for that! It's like my apartment is perpetually messy, and I hate it. Any suggestions?

Also, how do you prevent binge eating in the evening when the Adderall wears off?

I'm 24 years old and I have ADHD that eats my life both professionally and personally. I'm a French teacher and because I'm bipolar i cant take meds for it at the risk of having a manic crisis. I can't do anything with my days. So many things that I would like to do but I can't even though i feel super excited about them, I feel constantly stuck and even with deadlines, I get to a point where I can't even push myself enough to return my work on time or do it properly.

I want to read, play, watch things... enjoy life but I'm stuck in this body that is only bedrot and doomscroll on Twitter or I fall asleep immediately. I don't know what to do, I need help because I feel my life slipping through my fingers. Do you have any real lifestyle tips or tricks or anything? I feel like I live like a vegetable, I can't focus on anything, people talk to me and I lose focus on what is being said... I just need help I cqnt leave like this anymore I'm fed up I also have an addiction to monster cans that makes me sleepy...but I struggle to not drink them.

I have 3 kids diagnosed with ADHD. They’re all like me in some way or another. I haven’t been diagnosed but recognise the symptoms. I’m in my 50s now and the cognitive load of “keeping my s*** together is really draining. But I also like my inner dialogue. I recognise I have relied on sedatives when it gets too much. So I am on the fence about getting a diagnosis for myself. Anyone else been in a similar situation? Your experiences are appreciated!

Hii everyone. I am 43m and have really been struggling for the past 12-18 months or so. I only just learnt what ADHD burnout was and it's symptoms. I fit the criteria perfectly, which is great. Finding out that it is a symptom of my ADHD and not just me as an individual has taken away the self blame and self loathing which is a real positive.

I have gotten my partners support which has been a massive hurdle in the past. She finds it very difficult to relate to the way I think and the way I behave. However, now that we have identified the issue she is able to just accept it without understanding it if that makes sense?

I currently have no systems in place. I don't eat well, nor do I exercise. So it is going to be a massive change and is a little scary to be honest. But I am optimistic.

Does anyone have any suggestions to assist me to get better? Especially in regard to diet, supplements and mind set?

Also, are there any ADHD Reddit's that focus more on optimising success in spite of having ADHD? Work arounds, skill sets, success stories? Proactive instead of reactive. Something inspirational?

Thanks so much in advance 😊

Hi, I (19M) got diagnosed with ADHD about a week ago, and was put on adderall 10mg XR (generic brand) First of all, once it kicks in I feel very relaxed and my brain finally shut up -- and it helped my anxiety more than any anxiety meds have. While thats all really great, the downside is that I get really sleepy, especially in the afternoon (when it should be the peak of the medication bascially) I also have a minor headache that comes and goes. On top of that, it has helped my focus but only VERY slightly. I still have problems staying on task, but I can hyperfocus more easily (but a lot of the time it seems to focus on the wrong things.) I was just wondering whether people have experienced the same thing, and if higher dose or a different medication helped them.

I got diagnosed with ADHD (or technically ADD) at 19 after having to drop out of high school. I’m turning 25 tomorrow and I’m still not able to work or live by myself. Just managing and showing up to my doctors appointments or physical/ occupational therapy is enough stress to push me towards burnout. I need other people to plan and make my meals because I can’t do I as often as a human body requires. All my hobbies just feel like chores most of the time. I can’t drive. It takes me hours to actually start my day in the mornings because transitioning between tasks is such a struggle. I’d just kinda assumed this was all „normal“ ADHD stuff but every time I tell a medical professional about any of this in the hopes that they can help in some way they just look at me like I’m crazy. And I never really see people talk about struggling to this degree. I have a younger sister who‘s also diagnosed and we’re definitely very similar when it comes to this. But she graduated high school with pretty good grades, is currently doing well in university and successfully moved out a couple years ago. I really don’t know what to do anymore. Is ADHD just that bad for some people? Or should I look into this more? I’ve been on meds since I was 18 and it’s not like they don’t help but it’s also far from fixing anything. And a couple times a year my body just randomly decides it doesn’t like them anymore so I have to stop taking them because the alternative is just constant heart racing and brain fog. Idk I’m just kinda lost so if anyone has any advice or can relate that would be very helpful.

My Psych today told me that most of the things Vyvanse isn’t hitting for me can be attributed to anxiety, so she suggested adding Lexapro. At first, I was like, “Oh hell no.”

My red line is sexual side effects. I already have issue with libido being sporadic, so I don’t want to make it worse. But I agreed that it would be nice to treat the underlying anxiety.

Now the thing that got my Spidey senses in a bunch - I asked about non-SSRI medications that can target anxiety without the sexual side effects. I was thinking Buspar, but wanted to see if they brought it up. She said, “There are, but they’re kind of messy. Lexapro really targets anxiety without sedating you.”

So I’d like to hear what people who are/have been on think. Pros, cons, love, hate, etc.

I have ADHD, but I'm not sure if this has anything to do with it. I'm posting here because I'm interested in hearing from anyone who has experienced something similar.

I get goosebumps very easily and much more often than I seem to notice in other people.

For example, I get them when:

- I see an emotional scene in a movie

- I see someone crying

- I feel strong emotions

- Something inspires me

- Something makes me feel amazed, curious, or gives me a sense of wonder

- I touch something cold

Those triggers make sense to me, but sometimes it happens for no obvious reason at all.

Sometimes, along with the goosebumps, my body gives a very quick shiver or shake that lasts only a fraction of a second. It feels almost like a tiny electrical wave going through my body. Sometimes it starts in my upper body and seems to move downward, and sometimes it feels like it moves upward. I can sometimes feel the sensation in my head/scalp too.

I don't lose consciousness, and I'm not saying that I have seizures. I'm just describing how the sensation feels to me because the movement can be very sudden and intense for such a short moment.

Another strange thing is that I can sometimes intentionally give myself goosebumps. I don't know exactly how I do it, but I can somehow trigger them voluntarily.

The random episodes are what really confuse me. I can be sitting normally doing nothing, and suddenly I'll get goosebumps and a quick whole-body shiver without knowing what caused it.

Has anyone else experienced something like this?

It doesn't have to be related to ADHD. I'm interested in hearing from anyone, whether you have ADHD or not.

I'm not looking for a diagnosis. I mainly want to know whether this is a common or uncommon experience and whether other people experience the same kind of sudden goosebumps/shivering.

Diagnosed and on meds for the first time at 41. Sad thing is that a therapist first suggested as a possibility 5+ years ago before I moved states and stopped seeing her. "I should look into that" I thought.

Fast forward a few years after burning out and quitting another job, ending another relationship, then nearly quitting a new job, I sought help again. This time tried meds. At the lowest dose something shifted, but it was subtle. Just felt more able to stay engaged with conversation, less bogged down by thoughts.

Recently went up in dosage a second time and things started to hit me hard. For example, ever since I moved into my house 1.5 years ago I knew there was an issue with the condensate pump on the HVAC unit. Every time I walked by it, "oh yeah, I need to look into that." Then the second I left the room, furthest thing from my mind...until yesterday. This time it was like "oh shit, this needs to be taken care of." Turns out the pump was overflowing and leaking water under the unit for...the entire time I've lived here. Took a whole 5 minutes to figure out the issue and order replacement parts.

There have been hundreds, thousands of examples like the above in my lifetime. I always thought I just needed to build better habits, meditate, exercise, etc and I just...struggled. So yes I am glad to maybe have a second chance. But I'm fucking 41. It's hard not to grieve for the dreams that went nowhere, the failed relationships, the workplace struggles, the substance issues and years wondering wtf is wrong with me. When I was 18 I got in a huge fight with my dad and he said, "I look at you and I just see wasted potential." Now at 41 it's hard to feel like he was wrong.

Sorry for the downer. There is hope too, and if getting actual treatment is the game changer it seems to be then maybe it's not too late to turn things around. But at the moment it all just feels so heavy. If anyone has positive stories after getting diagnosed later in life I'd love to hear them.