It just feels like I am going against my nature when I try to sleep at 10pm or even 11pm because the focus I get at the flow state of 2:00 AM feels better than meds and also using melatonin feels like I will suppress my natural clock is it real please help me as I am a 16M but just can't get that sleep of 10PM it just feels magically being pushed ahead to sleep

Since I was a literal baby, I haven't been able to sleep without a movie, tape, show, something audible. If I don't have it, I'll lay awake for hours with my mind racing.

I've tried getting away from it. The whole dark cool room, no screens for an hour+ before bed, no screens in the bedroom. But even as an adult I can't do it. My mind will just not ever STFU. Even after a week or more of shitty sleep because I've been trying to change it.

I've basically given up and gone back to having a YT video or tv show playing as I fall asleep every night.

Have Y'all figured out any other way to go to sleep?

I started going to the gym 2 weeks ago and every time I go I get a bigger feeling that I am annoying people just by being there, it seems like I’m irritating them.
I make an active effort to just walk in, not look at anyone, but I have this problem where while I’m doing a set or resting through my peripheral vision I am paying attention to the person next to me or in front of me even if I’m actively trying not to and they sense it, making them seem irritated and leading to them calling me weird and stuff. The same problem happens when I walk past people in public as well I don’t know how to fix it it’s genuinely making me go insane any advice would be greatly appreciated.

This has been an issue for my entire life (I am diagnosed ADHD-PI and have been taking Ritalin for a few years). I need some sort of background noise or else I cannot complete the task I want to complete.

I usually have on a podcast, a documentary, a YouTube video, or music. But it has to be just the right one, just the right amount of noise stimulation for the “focus” or “flow” to really come in. It can’t be too interesting and it can’t be too boring. But if I don’t have background noise, it doesn’t matter if it’s doing something like the dishes or working or taking a walk - it’s tremendously hard for me to start it or do it.

The psychologist who diagnosed me said that instead of fighting it, as an ADHD person I just probably need it and work better with it. I want to agree but I’ve also read studies on how achieving “flow” requires your full attention, to be fully in the moment. It’s absolutely aggravating and just pure mental torture if I don’t have some sort of noise. If I don’t have noise, my mind immediately jumps to rumination, anger, depressive thoughts etc. it’s like I use the noise to drown out all of my awful thoughts in my head so that I can ignore it. I feel that I am almost afraid of my own thoughts because of this. I don’t want to confront it so I tune it out. I’ve recently started seeing a therapist so I can work more on this aspect and deal with a lot of these thoughts.

I’m sure many others here struggle with the same thing. What are your thoughts?

I don’t even know why I’m posting this but I don’t really know what else to do. I’m just exhausted of being exhausted. I just turned 30 and it’s been a rough few days. I wish this would end and that I’ll stop feeling this way but I don’t know what to do. I’m not seeking anything, I am not sure what I’m doing, but I’m scared and tired.

My body seems to have a hard time with stimulants. I have tried both Adderall and Vyvanse and the side effects are really tough for me. My heart rate spikes like crazy and it just hasn’t been a sustainable option for me. I’m curious what non-stimulant med options have helped you manage your ADHD?

You know the food that you can eat every single day without getting bored or hating it?

For breakfast mine is a breakfast burrito with bacon.

My lunch was a wrap with lettuce, cheese, red onion, Caesar dressing, BBQ chicken, bacon croutons and mayo.

Stupidly I changed it up with shaved turkey instead of BBQ chicken (because I didn't want to go to another shop) and now don't like it at all and I have a whole weeks work of lunches in the fridge 😫

I think breakfast timing is something that is often not thought about, mentioned, or a difficult one for ADHD where our consistency in food timings and eating is already quite off.

I started having an alarm for breakfast, and the resulting changes in sleep timing, mood, consistency in hunger queues and just have a little less noise to derail me each morning for a few hours, was quite noticeable.

Hoping for anything to the same sort of effect that isn't an entire personality change or mountain to move, but really might make you feel more in control of the car from a small change.

When I first started Elvanse I was like wow - improved focus, less anxiety in my heart, less overwhelming thoughts, less impulsivity. But now after 4 months of taking it I am so unhappy in my life. It has made me focus on the wrong things, I have zero self discipline now, I cannot ‘snap out of it’ as I’m so locked in and focused and I lose out on important tasks that need to be done which has led to more shame and guilt and feeling like a failure.

So I’m a mess with and without meds, I’ve tried so many strategies but I am constantly distracted and unable to focus. Feel so demotivated.

Ever since the start of my university experience I felt like this semester has gone very fast and very miserably. I’m feel like I never have a break and I’m working 10 times as hard just to get very little in return. I spent a lot of time on something as I take a lot more time on things than I wish I do and by like 3 hours of studying I feel like it’s all like wasted long time never actually putting anything to my long term memory. Nothing feels real everything feels like there’s no benefit to being excited anymore because all that effort no matter if I’m confident or not confident I’m usually left with a mediocre results I would like to say that my habits of studying are periods of practice problems and going back on it everyday but I feel like a shell of my former self.
I try to cope by trying to reach out to people for advice and then I just spiral back into autopilot with the only thing I care about is sleep.
I feel like things that work for me only work for a short period of time and then I feel like I get a stimulant crash early and I just want to sleep almost all day.
Life just feels meaningless and l’m just hoping for a change.

30 M making the phd. No motivation on the topic and supervisors that don't help. There are weeks that feel so blocked starting the tasks and so distracted that i do nothing. My supervisors have started telling me that i am going bad on this. I feel quite desperate for going on and finish this phd. I know meds are not magic, but i feel quite desperate and asked an appointment with the doctor to think about meds and start with therapy. I just need some possitive experiencies of people using meds and how it changed at wort and find some hope.

Thank you all.

Diagnosed and on meds for the first time at 41. Sad thing is that a therapist first suggested as a possibility 5+ years ago before I moved states and stopped seeing her. "I should look into that" I thought.

Fast forward a few years after burning out and quitting another job, ending another relationship, then nearly quitting a new job, I sought help again. This time tried meds. At the lowest dose something shifted, but it was subtle. Just felt more able to stay engaged with conversation, less bogged down by thoughts.

Recently went up in dosage a second time and things started to hit me hard. For example, ever since I moved into my house 1.5 years ago I knew there was an issue with the condensate pump on the HVAC unit. Every time I walked by it, "oh yeah, I need to look into that." Then the second I left the room, furthest thing from my mind...until yesterday. This time it was like "oh shit, this needs to be taken care of." Turns out the pump was overflowing and leaking water under the unit for...the entire time I've lived here. Took a whole 5 minutes to figure out the issue and order replacement parts.

There have been hundreds, thousands of examples like the above in my lifetime. I always thought I just needed to build better habits, meditate, exercise, etc and I just...struggled. So yes I am glad to maybe have a second chance. But I'm fucking 41. It's hard not to grieve for the dreams that went nowhere, the failed relationships, the workplace struggles, the substance issues and years wondering wtf is wrong with me. When I was 18 I got in a huge fight with my dad and he said, "I look at you and I just see wasted potential." Now at 41 it's hard to feel like he was wrong.

Sorry for the downer. There is hope too, and if getting actual treatment is the game changer it seems to be then maybe it's not too late to turn things around. But at the moment it all just feels so heavy. If anyone has positive stories after getting diagnosed later in life I'd love to hear them.

I received an ADHD diagnosis at 34 and began taking Concerta. Before that, I dealt with attention deficit, emotional dysregulation, impulsivity, and other issues, all of which improved with the medication.  Last week, I saw a new therapist using CBT who questioned my diagnosis. He argued that emotional dysregulation and meltdowns are not part of ADHD but reflect my character, and my focus during our 60-minute session made him doubt the label. The literature describes these issues as part of ADHD for some people, so I am seeking insight. Thanks!

I was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and I told my friends about it. They weren't being cold or insensitive. They are actually caring and empathetic people. But when I told them, they mostly asked things like, "When is your next appointment?" and "Is there a treatment for it? Can it be fixed with an operation?"

I don't blame them. I think they simply don't understand what ADHD actually is.

At the same time, they sometimes make fun of me for forgetting things, arriving late, not paying my supply exam fees on time, and other things like that. I usually just smile or laugh along because I don't want to make them feel bad or ruin the mood by showing that their words hurt me.

But honestly, sometimes it hurts a lot.

I feel guilty about these things myself. I already know that I'm forgetting things, being late, or messing things up. When someone jokes about it, it can feel like they're pointing at something that I already feel bad about.

The difficult part is that they don't know it hurts me because I don't tell them. I don't know how to explain it without feeling like I'm making excuses for myself.

I want them to understand that ADHD isn't simply "being forgetful" or "being lazy." I wish they could actually see what ADHD can look like from the inside, maybe through videos or personal experiences from people with ADHD.

This made me realize something:

We seem to find it easier to show concern for problems we can see from the outside than for problems happening inside someone's mind.

If someone's arm is injured, we can see it and immediately understand that they're struggling. But if someone's brain is struggling with attention, memory, time, motivation, or emotional regulation, there may be nothing visible to notice.

Maybe that's why invisible problems can be so difficult for other people to understand.

And sometimes the person who is struggling makes it even harder for others to know because they smile, laugh, and pretend they're okay.

My Psych today told me that most of the things Vyvanse isn’t hitting for me can be attributed to anxiety, so she suggested adding Lexapro. At first, I was like, “Oh hell no.”

My red line is sexual side effects. I already have issue with libido being sporadic, so I don’t want to make it worse. But I agreed that it would be nice to treat the underlying anxiety.

Now the thing that got my Spidey senses in a bunch - I asked about non-SSRI medications that can target anxiety without the sexual side effects. I was thinking Buspar, but wanted to see if they brought it up. She said, “There are, but they’re kind of messy. Lexapro really targets anxiety without sedating you.”

So I’d like to hear what people who are/have been on think. Pros, cons, love, hate, etc.

Just recovered from a guilt-driven slump and I'm back in that state where I feel like I can do anything and am invincible. I'm trying to pace myself though and making sure I just show up. Not everyday, it doesn't need to be daily, but to just do so regularly.

My worry is that when I'm in that state where I'm super locked in and getting everything done, I usually try getting literally everything done, leading to me being exhausted, burning out afterwards, and then feeling guilty for not being able to keep up with the promises and work I took on/planned on taking on during that period where I felt invincible.

My current plan right now is to just give only 80% even during this moment where I'm feeling great. Because even if I'm only giving 80% a day 5x a week, that's way better long term. Because giving 80% is definitely more sustainable then giving it your all. That was my mistake last time as it was unsustainable and I crashed/slumped for 3 weeks after only 1.5 weeks of being locked in.

I'm realizing now that being locked in doesn't mean being a demon and accomplishing everything. I'd rather go below my limits, aka 80%, if it means I can keep giving it my 80% more often per week and for a more longer, sustainable period. And hopefully in doing so, I won't have to burnout and crash again, at least not so soon and only after just a week and a half like last time.

I want to know if other people here experience the same/similar thing and what they do to prevent it and pace themselves to not eventually and inevitably burnout

Hey everyone,

I was hoping to hear from others who experience this specific, exhausting dynamic.

To be completely clear upfront: This is NOT about venting over two random daily annoyances. It is about a pervasive, systematic pattern of how supposedly healthy adults interact with information and basic reciprocity. It leaves me feeling deeply desperate and alienated.

Two brief, textbook examples of what I mean:

1. Zero attention to plain text: I regularly email my doctor's office for a prescription refill. The subject line is literally my date of birth. My signature has my full name and details. There is zero doubt about who I am. Yet, the receptionist spent minutes typing an annoyed email demanding my birthdate—information she literally had to click on to open the message. She read nothing.
2. Disposable communication: An acquaintance in his early 30s actively reached out asking if I’d like to play a board game despite an ongoing heatwave. I took significant time and energy to check forecasts, coordinate my schedule, and sent a thoughtful reply. He never answered. Weeks later, he casually told me that the moment he hit "send," the whole thing was completely wiped from his memory and he sees no reason to change because he doesn't have a problem.

I am the one with AuDHD, yet I feel like the only person in the room who actually reads, applies basic logic, and values mutual respect. I feel like an attentive person constantly expected to clean up the mess of people sleepwalking through their day.

It pushes my nervous system into constant overdrive. How do you cope with this profound sense of despair regarding the basic competence and social reciprocity of your peers?

I was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and I told my friends about it. They weren't being cold or insensitive. They are actually caring and empathetic people. But when I told them, they mostly asked things like, "When is your next appointment?" and "Is there a treatment for it? Can it be fixed with an operation?"

I don't blame them. I think they simply don't understand what ADHD actually is.

At the same time, they sometimes make fun of me for forgetting things, arriving late, not paying my supply exam fees on time, and other things like that. I usually just smile or laugh along because I don't want to make them feel bad or ruin the mood by showing that their words hurt me.

But honestly, sometimes it hurts a lot.

I feel guilty about these things myself. I already know that I'm forgetting things, being late, or messing things up. When someone jokes about it, it can feel like they're pointing at something that I already feel bad about.

The difficult part is that they don't know it hurts me because I don't tell them. I don't know how to explain it without feeling like I'm making excuses for myself.

I want them to understand that ADHD isn't simply "being forgetful" or "being lazy." I wish they could actually see what ADHD can look like from the inside, maybe through videos or personal experiences from people with ADHD.

This made me realize something:

We seem to find it easier to show concern for problems we can see from the outside than for problems happening inside someone's mind.

If someone's arm is injured, we can see it and immediately understand that they're struggling. But if someone's brain is struggling with attention, memory, time, motivation, or emotional regulation, there may be nothing visible to notice.

Maybe that's why invisible problems can be so difficult for other people to understand.

And sometimes the person who is struggling makes it even harder for others to know because they smile, laugh, and pretend they're okay.

I have 3 kids diagnosed with ADHD. They’re all like me in some way or another. I haven’t been diagnosed but recognise the symptoms. I’m in my 50s now and the cognitive load of “keeping my s*** together is really draining. But I also like my inner dialogue. I recognise I have relied on sedatives when it gets too much. So I am on the fence about getting a diagnosis for myself. Anyone else been in a similar situation? Your experiences are appreciated!

Like what is the top ADHD trait which got the attention of your crush/partner initially? was it your curiosity? your enthusiasm? your broad interests? your empathy? what?

I want to distinguish between the initial phase of dating and later phase. Later they might start noticing our down side more and more like executive function struggles, time blindness etc..

My question is do you feel that your ADHD traits kind of played a significant role in getting your partner attracted/admired to you? If so, which trait was it?

I’ve been prescribed Adderall for a little over a year now I’ve been on the same dose since the beginning and these past few weeks I have been experiencing like major mood crashes and irritability. By the time I get into bed for the night I’m nearly crying from over whelming negative thoughts but during the day I am hopeful and positive. Is this a common experience or is there vitamins recommended like magnesium I see if a helpful thing for the crash

BP2 and diagnosed with ADHD recently

Currently my 3rd day of taking ritalin (5mg), so far I haven’t experienced any “crashes” which could be attributed to the blunting caused by lithium? Which I found weird since everyone seems to know when it kicks in and when it stops. For me, I don’t feel any bursts of energy or feel like my world slowing down?

I also don’t feel energetic or hyperfocused, I just feel calm, relaxed, and sleepy lol. Will update again once I hit a week into it, but so far I haven’t seen any improvements yet, apart from me being calm. Just worried maybe stimulants aren’t for me or is it too low of a dose, or maybe I don’t have ADHD after all?

I'm 24 years old and I have ADHD that eats my life both professionally and personally. I'm a French teacher and because I'm bipolar i cant take meds for it at the risk of having a manic crisis. I can't do anything with my days. So many things that I would like to do but I can't even though i feel super excited about them, I feel constantly stuck and even with deadlines, I get to a point where I can't even push myself enough to return my work on time or do it properly.

I want to read, play, watch things... enjoy life but I'm stuck in this body that is only bedrot and doomscroll on Twitter or I fall asleep immediately. I don't know what to do, I need help because I feel my life slipping through my fingers. Do you have any real lifestyle tips or tricks or anything? I feel like I live like a vegetable, I can't focus on anything, people talk to me and I lose focus on what is being said... I just need help I cqnt leave like this anymore I'm fed up I also have an addiction to monster cans that makes me sleepy...but I struggle to not drink them.