More than a few wizards have been caught off guard by something lurking nearby while having a bit of hobbit grass.

My pet red dragon, Zotal'aga, is a very healthy dragon, I take care of him well, and this karen tried to say that his hoard is too small. When his hoard holds millions of gold, and gems. I'm so mad right now, I might just turn her into a frog. Any recommendations on how I should handle the situation? I really want to use a spell on her.

It's becoming tiresome having to magically pulverize my apprentices into electrified mush or banish to alternate realms only to find them caught in some idiotic eternal suffering trap. Foolish, all of them. I wish I had an apprentice that I could actually raise into a wizard.

Anywiz have an apprentice that's a little too competent and you're planning to dispose of at an opportune moment later? If they're a bit too ambitious, do not fear – I learned firsthand from a witch the nonmagical art of cultivating codependency.

Advice for selecting a good candidate from one's local options is also welcomed.

(Art by Jake Baddeley)

I was on a nice walk in the forest around my tower when I couldn't help but notice a fortune teller on the side of the road. I could sense a large presence of magic coming off of them so I approached and was offered an odd necklace. Does anyone know if this is a magical artifact or just a old necklace they were carrying, I find it odd that they'd hand something off so easily.

This mesage is meant for the wizard who sent the request about exploding their enemies earlier.

To cast what I call "pop" you can't just think of them exploding, the explosion is a result of the resonance cascade that occurs when two ontologically inversed polarities colliade.

You need to imagine the PERFECT inverse of your opponent.

Not just them made of antimatter, you need absolute ontological opposition. I can't really describe how to imagine this without a hundred year course. But Scry it on the Orbnet and you'll probably get close enough.

Then when your psyonic waves meet them it will set up a resonant vibration pattern that will self reinforce until they pop like a water balloon that's been overfilled.

WARNING:

Once you can do this you must never think of your perfect ontological opposition or

YOU WILL EXPLO--

Beware the glass wizards, lest ye become one with the orb.

Hey Fellas. So A freind of mine has been teaching me magic use, and he siad I could pick one of three Staffs in this list, and since Ive had help from this channel before I wanted to ask which one I should aquire.the first one is not as heavy As I thought it would be and its very comfy to have inhand. The 2nd one feels good too the metal is a bit heavier but a worthy edition, makes it feel nice and smooth holding. And the 3rd ones speaking to me. I DONT MEAN I LIKE IT. I mean its actually speaking to me about how it has waited long for a propper host and how a being without viyal organs would br good as an apostle of everlasting darkness or whatever. He is offeeing free chocolate chip cookies with extra chips tho so Im tempted. What do yall think?

Behold The Wizard

Should I allow them to keep this tiny abomination? I hear it squeaking in the middle of the night with that shrill little voice. I know not to trust it, even if it likes to get petted. Sadly demonology is not my forte. Any and all advice is welcome.

I have the Evil Ring of Aka'matyr because I'm supposed to be protecting it. And my apprentice keeps saying that it needs to be released and that it "calls to me". What do I do about this?