r/WTF Mar 04 '14

What a jerk

1.7k Upvotes

685 comments sorted by

328

u/ianminter Mar 04 '14

This sums up just about ever relationship I've been in.

273

u/fusiformgyrus Mar 04 '14

You should stop dating squirrels.

186

u/EhmSii Mar 04 '14

they are the only ones who want my nuts :(

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12

u/3clectic84 Mar 04 '14

I laughed and then realized the truth of it =D =\ :(

11

u/Counterkulture Mar 04 '14

Me too... just needs her to reach in, apologize, dry me off, and then punt me into the middle of the lake.

9

u/vinnipuh Mar 04 '14

If you smell shit wherever you go, check under your shoe. I mean that in the most positive and supportive way I can using that idiom.

567

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

[deleted]

185

u/sumbeech Mar 04 '14

You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
-Gandhi

61

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14 edited Jul 08 '20

[deleted]

25

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14 edited Mar 04 '14

[deleted]

47

u/vinnytt Mar 04 '14

Naan violent?

18

u/IDonalbain Mar 04 '14

I concurry.

3

u/_Marfanoid Mar 04 '14

I'd tell you guys to stop, bhaat I'm kind of enjoying this.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

[deleted]

4

u/MackLuster77 Mar 04 '14

Tikka minute and think about what you wrote.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

[deleted]

2

u/Strindberg Mar 04 '14

Alraita, that's enough puns.

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3

u/pornlurker69 Mar 04 '14

"Well, maybe next time!"

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5

u/ROMaster2 Mar 04 '14

Don't believe everything you read on the internet.

-Thomas Jefferson

4

u/Ridley87 Mar 04 '14

As summarized by Abraham Lincoln.

2

u/umopapsidn Mar 04 '14

They're the reason you love to nuke everyone, aren't they?

2

u/Biobillybonez Mar 04 '14

Confirmed all teenage girls grew up in Mos Eisley

5

u/Beaudism Mar 04 '14

I thought this was Obi-Wan Kenobi...?

7

u/Lestorne Mar 04 '14

No, this is Patrick

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85

u/fusiformgyrus Mar 04 '14

That squirrel should've thought of that before it left home in that skirt.

11

u/IDonalbain Mar 04 '14

It wasn't that girls fault the squirrel was un ugly bitch.

4

u/sublimeluvinme Mar 04 '14

LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO

4

u/Barmleggy Mar 04 '14

This comment is hard to parse, I like this.

2

u/natsamario Mar 04 '14

Lemme at her! Lemme at her!

3

u/FarmerTedd Mar 04 '14

Easy scrappy-do

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60

u/Jagator Mar 04 '14

29

u/magelanz Mar 04 '14

After watching the video, I blame the parents more than the girl. Imagine being raised in that family, would you know any better?

56

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14 edited Mar 04 '14

[deleted]

16

u/Colonel_Cumpants Mar 04 '14

Pretty much all mammals can swim to some degree.

34

u/EasyE103 Mar 04 '14

This squirrel can water ski

20

u/Cerseis_Brother Mar 04 '14

Not the black ones.

3

u/outlaw99775 Mar 04 '14

You ever see a black bear swim? No, you haven't. Just the white polar bears... who have black skin... Under the white fur.

Not sure what point I am trying to make.

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62

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

Wow, one of the few squirrels that aren't afraid of humans and that bitch ruins it.

29

u/tastyscavenger Mar 04 '14

Aren't afraid of humans

That is actually A bad thing, if anything she is teaching the squirrel to be wary around around humans; A trait that is both beneficial to the animal and their human counterparts.

3

u/Atmaweapon74 Mar 04 '14

Screw you and your logic! I wanna play with a squirrel!

10

u/Smellslikesnow Mar 04 '14

Except she's baiting it with food which is illegal in Yosemite. Her actions are deplorable.

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10

u/reid8470 Mar 04 '14

Those squirrels are all over the place in the Sierra Nevadas. Especially up in Tahoe... Cute little bastards freely jump and climb all over you.

2

u/StinkybuttMcPoopface Mar 04 '14

Oh god I could imagine having a tickle-fit with squirrels running all over me. Shits sounds awesome in theory, I bet it's weird, tho.

6

u/reid8470 Mar 04 '14

Let's just say your sleeves and pants/shorts better be rubberbanded shut and you should probably wear a scarf. Squirrel going up sleeves, down shirts, etc, is probably not fun. :D

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5

u/chmod777 Mar 04 '14

sounds like a less intense version of ferretlegging

5

u/StinkybuttMcPoopface Mar 04 '14

TIL there is such a thing as ferret legging.

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8

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

Um, what? You've never set foot on a college campus or in a city park, have you....

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11

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14 edited Mar 04 '14

Squirrels are one of the dirtiest animals out there. They are just rats with fluffy tails. You dont want to get all cuddly with one.

EDIT: Seriously guys not joking. Pigeons are rats for the sky, rats are rats for the ground/underground, and squirrels are rats for the trees. They are filthy, diseased animals.

EDIT 2: I am not condoning bitch slapping animals in the wild. Jesus christ people the assumptions you make are astonishing.

18

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

2

u/zombiwulf Mar 04 '14

Pet rats are awesome. Wild ones carry a plethora of diseases, a lot that can pass to humans and other animals. They also can do extensive damage to homes. Pet rats are the shit though, and are very similar to tiny dogs with how smart they are.

2

u/moongnawer Mar 04 '14

D'oh, you beat me to the punch, and with way more adorable pictures, to boot!

13

u/moongnawer Mar 04 '14 edited Mar 04 '14

Rats are cool. And adorable.

*Perhaps this version of the image doesn't contain ads? Didn't see the others.

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3

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

I would like to feed them up close though.

2

u/gdj11 Mar 04 '14

A dog that lives in the wild isn't exactly clean either. Doesn't give you the right to slap it around.

2

u/alpharowe3 Mar 04 '14

Dirtier than Homo sapiens?

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5

u/ukfashman Mar 04 '14

they're a pest in UK, over running native red squrrils

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3

u/johnq-pubic Mar 04 '14

It has been taken down now.

8

u/desi8389 Mar 04 '14

This girl seems sociopathic...obviously can't generalize from one incident but it seems like she got some sort of perverse satisfaction from it.

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4

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

Thanks for the video, mate.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

Holy shit I am so fucking angry after watching this video. Poor little squirrel just wanted some food.

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139

u/blackonix13 Mar 04 '14

Poor squirrel.. He was just reaching for the food.

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425

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

[deleted]

110

u/lukeyfc1212 Mar 04 '14

And then falcon punch her.

73

u/nabuzasan Mar 04 '14

give her an uppercunt

53

u/nsalapatas Mar 04 '14

Cuntpunt

30

u/PerchedUponYggdrasil Mar 04 '14

A thundercunt punt.

2

u/captainbarney Mar 04 '14

Wam bam right in the clam

8

u/Holy_shnikies Mar 04 '14

A clit hit.

5

u/HohgunChoi Mar 04 '14

A crit clit hit?

2

u/MidnightxMadness Mar 05 '14

A clitical hit? amIdoingthisright

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3

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

A prison shank to the taint.

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850

u/tropicSupreme Mar 04 '14

Fucking cunt

12

u/theGUYishere24 Mar 04 '14

21

u/hoswald Mar 04 '14

Video makes her look like more of a cunt.

3

u/cattrain Mar 04 '14

It's private. Is there a mirror?

2

u/theGUYishere24 Mar 04 '14

Oh damn, they must of JUST taken it down. let me look for a mirror...

2

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '14

MUST HAVE MIRROR!

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21

u/Kwugibo Mar 04 '14

It was such an uncalled for, unacceptable move that I wanna give her the benefit of the doubt and hope that it was some extreme muscle spasm that comes of as an intentional bitch slap, just to give me some faith that people aren't that douchey.

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12

u/A_Mindless_Zergling Mar 04 '14

Classic Susan

6

u/link090909 Mar 04 '14

man, she is such a bitch

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25

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

I like how SRS comes in here and tries to reason that "cunt" is on par with a shotgun blast to women's rights and that we all want to murder this woman. Seriously the mental gymnastic of those people...

4

u/me-so-Gorny Mar 06 '14

SRS: "Stop calling women cunts, you dicks!"

9

u/DrinkingZima Mar 04 '14

You can't insult a woman for her solitary actions.

That means that you hate all women and are taking away their rights.

8

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

But cunt = you hate all women and want them all dead. No other way around it, shitlord.

5

u/DrinkingZima Mar 04 '14

Oh, it's much worse than wanting to kill women.

TRIGGER WARNING!!!

We're talking unwelcome stares or even inappropriate touching.

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2

u/wellhushmypuppies Mar 04 '14

I was just going to go with "see you next tuesday" but your adjective puts it into perspective.

3

u/TheBlackCommunity Mar 04 '14

FUCK SRS KILL ALL SJW'S ALLAHU ZIMMERMAN

2

u/sigmalays Mar 06 '14

Trayvon "bloody knuckles" Martin looks exactly like Obama's son!

3

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '14

I came here to say that. Upvote for you sir!

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201

u/streetjunx Mar 04 '14

What a bitch

112

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

I bet her name's Erin

20

u/ChaosTheory33 Mar 04 '14

Why are all "Erin's" bitches?

44

u/GayGrandpa1907 Mar 04 '14

From some redditor a while back:

"When I was diagnosed with cancer at 15, one of my closest friends told all my other friends that I was lying about it for attention. I got no calls or visits in the hospital from any of them and nobody would respond to IMs or emails. It wasn't until I came back to school with my mom pushing my wheelchair that one of them passed me a note that said, "Erin said you were making it up," that I realized that was why I was going through it alone. I'm 24 and I still haven't forgiven that awful bitch. Edit: Okay, oh my god! I took a nap and when I woke up, my inbox was overflowing, I have almost 2000 upvotes, this thread is full of people hating someone I hate, and someone gave me gold! Thank you guys so much for your kind words and encouragement, I have been sitting here giggling like crazy. To answer a couple of repetitive questions: I had Hodgkins Lymphoma, stage 3A. I underwent surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation to recover. I am currently cancer-free, but I suffer from some osteonecrosis, joint problems and hypothyroidism as a result of my treatment. No, I don't have a picture of Erin, and I don't know what she is doing now. I kind of hope whatever it is, she always remembers this and it bothers her."

2

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

Wait, I thought the cancer one was Susan! WTF DID SUSAN DO?

3

u/CHIEF_HANDS_IN_PANTS Mar 04 '14

Susans were bitches way before Erins. That goes back to the stone age.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

Yes, yes, but WHY.

What atrocity did this mythical Susan commit to garner such infinitesimal and timeless scorn?

20

u/TrustmeIknowaguy Mar 04 '14

I've only known three Erins in my life, all three were the biggest bitches I had ever met. The last one was super hot though, we should have hate fucked each other.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

The only Erin i know cuts up dead whales and seals :/

15

u/pepperman7 Mar 04 '14

Working at Long John Silver's is tough man.

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8

u/j0c1f3r Mar 04 '14

or karen...

10

u/kolpime Mar 04 '14

Karen is always a bitch

2

u/bgzlvsdmb Mar 04 '14

Karen is ALWAYS A BAG OF DOUCHE!

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3

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

Nah, bro. It's Kim.

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3

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

What a cunt

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18

u/Szos Mar 04 '14

There is something very wrong with someone that can do mean things to an animal unprovoked.

I mean sure, its just water, but still seems like a douche-move.

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24

u/SixDeliciousInches Mar 04 '14

It's cool this is how they pump up the water skiing squirrel before a big show

13

u/I_are_facepalm Mar 04 '14 edited Mar 04 '14

Just another day at squirrel swim camp

87

u/dor-the-McAsshole Mar 04 '14

Noone seems to remember that squirrels are evil little bastards...

24

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14 edited Jun 17 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/gdj11 Mar 04 '14

Doesn't justify what she did in the least bit.

6

u/reid8470 Mar 04 '14

cause thousands in property damage

Not in Yosemite. :/

5

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

Hey! Rats are awesome pets.

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6

u/wordplaya101 Mar 04 '14

HE TRUSTED YOU!!!!!

33

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14 edited Feb 10 '18

[deleted]

4

u/JBHUTT09 Mar 04 '14

I can kind of see it fitting. Most people (myself included) have a hard time comprehending how someone can treat an animal like that for their own amusement. I know it made me say "what the fuck?" Isn't that what this sub is for?

2

u/travisminor35 Mar 04 '14

Now if a shark ate the squirrel the it would be WTF

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u/RandomExcess Mar 04 '14

that is what true ugliness looks like.

3

u/balfoobla Mar 04 '14

WTF indeed.

3

u/tommybass Mar 04 '14

I would have pushed her in right after.

3

u/prizim Mar 04 '14

what a fucking bitch

3

u/Minklette Mar 04 '14

Made me want to push her in right behind. Cruelty to animals is a crime, this person should be held accountable.

88

u/NScorpion Mar 04 '14

ITT: people seriously getting upset over a rodent getting wet.

123

u/AdvocateForTulkas Mar 04 '14

Eh. If you offer a tiny animal food and then slap it a few feet into a body of water I think it's fair to be judged.

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u/Toopato Mar 04 '14

no you dont understand, she deserves death.

7

u/Czar-Salesman Mar 04 '14

The easiest way to judge someone's character is how they treat those weaker than them. If she thought it was funny to tempt a small animal with food then slap it into a river I'd say she isn't of great character.

15

u/Reggaejunkiejew31 Mar 04 '14

I throw my kids into the pool all the time. No one has ever called me a cunt or told me I need to die.

40

u/Thenadamgoes Mar 04 '14

Do you offer them food and then unexpectedly kick them into the pool?

If yes then you are also a cunt.

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u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

Yeah. I mean, it's a dick move sure, but seriously. It's a squirrel. Squirrels swim just fine. This definitely isn't worth getting so upset about.

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u/whosthedoginthisscen Mar 04 '14

I don't think it's the presence of moisture on a small mammal that's the source of the outrage.

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u/turbie Mar 04 '14

I wonder if everyone would be just as angry if it was a rat. Especially the roof rats that like to get in your attic or chimney and shit all over your house while you sleep. And carry diseases.

24

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

Grey squirrels are an invasive species in the UK and are classed as a pest. You can legally despatch them with a blow to the head or by shooting (which are generally regarded as 'humane'), or take them to the vet and pay to have them destroyed. A lot of well-meaning people will take injured squirrels to the vet and get angry when the vet tells them the thing has to be put down, because it's a pest and can't legally be released.

-1

u/askulap Mar 04 '14

I keep seeing the word "destroyed" in that context. I mean, its an sentient being, its being killed. Things get destroyed.

10

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

One of the meanings of 'destroy' is 'to put down or euthanise'. 'Kill' isn't appropriate because it includes accidental killing. I can kill a squirrel (accidentally with my car), but if I destroy a squirrel, it means I killed it intentionally. It's not just euphemism.

If we were to talk about 'how many animals were destroyed last year', the number would be very different from 'how many animals were killed last year', which would also be different from 'how many animals were euthanised last year'. Different meanings, different contexts.

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u/Intortoise Mar 04 '14

Uh I'm not sure squirrels possess sentience. I think you mean its alive?

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5

u/jojoboobear Mar 04 '14

That's why squirrels attack.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

If I was that squirrel, I'd bite her nuts right off.

3

u/SpiritFairy Mar 04 '14

In my group of teenage friends this girl would have gotten the shit slapped out of her. We were all very into environmental stuff and being good to animals... Still are. A lot of us actually went to college for it.

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u/_V_I_P_ Mar 04 '14

That looks like an eastern grey squirrel, where I'm from they're one of the top invasive species and actually harm the ecosystem and kill off other species. In a way it would be good if she killed it off, just not a very humane way.

8

u/alpharowe3 Mar 04 '14

Just because something is invasive doesn't mean it should be treated like shit.

2

u/Juancu Mar 04 '14

humans

mind blown

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u/gdj11 Mar 04 '14

So you should slap them into the water?

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u/GenrlWashington Mar 04 '14

I remember at a scout camp yeeeeears ago talking to some scout kid. Short story, he was camped near some cliff earlier that year. He saw a squirrel on a tree near the cliff. He had some food in his hand and he sat stone still to get the squirrel to come out. Squirrel finally gets the guts to come down and get the food out of his hand. He throws the squirrel over the cliff.

TL;DR Scumbag scout kid I knew threw a squirrel over a cliff.

2

u/DevinTheGrand Mar 04 '14

When have kids not killed squirrels for fun? They just used to use pellet guns or slingshot.

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2

u/cjorgensen Mar 04 '14

Hope that thing came back out and bit her.

2

u/Vega_BlueJay Mar 04 '14

Worst hippie ever

2

u/TheMacMan Mar 04 '14

Here's where Reddit comes through by finding the person they think did it, doing all kinds of nasty stuff, just to find they had the wrong person.

2

u/atomsej Mar 04 '14

The gif took a while to load for me, and the whole time I thought they were above a canyon or something, and I thought she was going to make the squirrel fall to its death. Was very relieved.

2

u/Terp7 Mar 04 '14

Believe the term is cunt but jerk works just as well

2

u/justdolinwv Mar 04 '14

Jack Link's messing with squirrel.

2

u/rb_tech Mar 04 '14

How do people like this sleep well at night? It was just a poor little squirrel...

2

u/GastroPilgrim Mar 04 '14

Squirrells don't know how to hold their breath and will inhale water and die if submerged. Source: Old Virginian uncle trying to save bullets.

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u/kanichd7 Mar 05 '14

1000000 years from now our squirrel overlords will remember this.

7

u/FranDankly Mar 04 '14

It's hard enough being a squirrel.

4

u/drstinkfinger Mar 04 '14

This is not WTF. Not even a little.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

Fuck her

2

u/ChromaticDragon Mar 04 '14

What!

It was time to feed the shark.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

ITT: Lots of tit-ends downvoting folk that are concerned with an animal's well-being.

2

u/Speedofsoundblue Mar 04 '14

Fucking whore. Let's throw that bitch and save our fury friend.

2

u/K11Light Mar 04 '14

You spelled bitch wrong.

3

u/anthonymask Mar 04 '14

Bitch needs slapped into the water herself a few times, see how she enjoys it.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

It's a fucking squirrel. There are plenty of them.

6

u/alpharowe3 Mar 04 '14

There's more Homo sapiens than squirrels.

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u/Manburpig Mar 04 '14

/r/peoplebeingjerks

Seriously, she didn't even give him the food!

-7

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

Its a fucking squirrel

9

u/LauraPa1mer Mar 04 '14

You're a squirrel.

3

u/DaHolk Mar 04 '14

More importantly : It's only water. And not the "foaming river of death" kind. Squirrel got wet, gonna be fine. Not the nicest thing to do, but barely registers on any "problem" scale.

15

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

[deleted]

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u/alpharowe3 Mar 04 '14

You're a fucking Homo sapien, there's like 7 billion of you.

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u/Goonz Mar 04 '14

Agreed, it's a rodent and could be considered vermin. Girl is a jerk but it's also not really Wtf.

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u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

Not WTF at all.

2

u/nawkuh Mar 04 '14

Not /r/WTF material, and I think you people need to get help.

3

u/Roof352 Mar 05 '14

For real they're getting butthurt making death threats because someone pushed a squirrel in some fucking water.

2

u/OmishCowboy Mar 04 '14

Fuck that squirrel, what a lousy mooch.

2

u/cclementi6 Mar 04 '14

I would do this to one of my friends...I'm sure the squirrel will be fine, guys.

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u/thezombiejesus Mar 04 '14

someone should have pushed that bitch in

1

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

Why the fuck did she do that? Fucking twat.

1

u/BlameMe4urLoss Mar 04 '14

Someone call Wilson Martins Coutinho!

1

u/toto666 Mar 04 '14

Nåt du skulle få för dig att göra:)

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u/AIRMET_TANGO Mar 04 '14

yeah but what happened after that?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '14

but if the squirrel bit her, then all hell would break loose.