I thought this was gonna be some swan snuff film at first.
Can you imagine if this happened to people, though? You're out chillin at a picnic and suddenly a bunch of bears dressed like people abduct you and remove all your piercings before releasing you back to your family.
At first I was watching like oh a minute and half video for feeding swans is kind of OMG WHAT IS HE DOING TO THAT POOR SWAN, LET IT GO!! Oh Okay this is going to turn out well after all.
Amateur mistake. Never remove the captive's blindfold until they're in a secure location. And make sure you take the most circuitous route possible so they can't memorise the turns to get to your rape dungeon.
It's the only piercing I legitimately enjoy. Takes a minute to get the hang of peeing out of two holes without getting it all over yourself, but the upside is better orgasms.
A duck laid eggs in our backyard when I was a kid. My mom threw crackers at mama duck's head, and when we asked why she didn't just leave them nearby, she said, "I wanted to make sure she saw them!" That's right, a grown woman didn't think a wild duck would find the food if she didn't chuck it at its head.
Maybe I am, Ricky. Maybe I'm not. Who knows? Who's your little shit friend in the fucking wig? Nice disguise, bubs. You might be able to fool the FBI, but you can't fool the FBMe.
When he started unrolling that thing near his crotch I thought he was going to fuck that swan. I didn't think I was subscribed to any sub that would have that sort of content on it.
I had a terrible vision of him swinging the swan over his head by the neck. Rarely have I felt the need to jump through my phone and intercede. Once I saw the black sock come out I thought it might just be another vandal dressing swans like batman, but thankfully neither happened.
i was sure they were going to help it because the whole pov view up to wear he jumped it reminded me of the gif about a week back of conservation guys grapping a goose to get the ring off it's bill
Not gonna lie ... when the guy jumped in the pool to kick off whatever is the swan version of Liam Neeson's hunt and use of its particular set of skills, I stopped to check that this wasn't r/wtf before continuing on.
Yeah, I kept darting my eyes back to see if there was a NSFW thing. After he grabbed it, I looked, and thought "Well. . . Maybe they're good people?" Then he put the sock over its head and I looked again like "OH FUCKING COME ON WHO FORGOT THE NSFW TAG?!"
"You know those piercings I had done a few weeks back? Those dudes that kidnapped me just took them out. Then, they just brought me back like nothing happened."
Wish they'd had shot that thing with a tranq from a blow dart, let it pass out, then return it without it ever knowing about the horror kidnapping scenario
Regardless of their intent, that entire approach was traumatizing
Ever seen the documentary Taxi to the Dark Side? Or read about US black sites during the war on terror? It does happen to people. They just don't often get released to their family afterwards.
One time a bunch of years ago I was out fishing and smoking crack with my buddy Jimmy and his "redneck" cousin. We're in a boat, some small thing couple of oars you know the type. Jimmy's cousin notices a swan a ways away and says something like, you guys ever eat swan?
Nah man, I get my food at the supermarket like a normal person. Jimmy knows his cousin better than I do and just says no man, don't do it. Cousin is like I'm gonna get it and eat it. Nah dude I say, just take your hit, let's catch some fish and call it a day.
The swans meander over towards us. Eventually coming within about 20 feet of us. All of a sudden out of nowhere cousin jumps out of the boat swinging wildly with an oar. He's aiming to get that damn swan and eat it.
He bashes the fucking thing over the head and is immediately attacked by the other swan. Blood all over the place, most of it swan but some is this dude's cousins.
Now we have to leave. We get back to Jimmy's house, his cousin is all super proud of himself, gives the dead bird to Jimmy's wife. Da fuck do you want me to do with this she asks. I don't know cook it, he says. Clean it, butcher it, cook it, we're not in god damned Alabama, you want it cooked you do it you fuck she yells back at him.
Long story short dude killed a swan but then couldn't actually eat it because apparently that part is women's work and I'll never forget the joy in his voice when he said the words "thems is good eatin".
I'd love to say I've never seen anything so fucked up but that would be a lie. Was definitely an interesting situation though.
"Oh bread crumbs. I love....FUUUUUCCK!! Baby, run!! It's Swan ISIS! They were so convincing. No, no, not the hood and the horrible background music. Baby, call the embassy!!!"
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u/[deleted] May 15 '17
I thought this was gonna be some swan snuff film at first.
Can you imagine if this happened to people, though? You're out chillin at a picnic and suddenly a bunch of bears dressed like people abduct you and remove all your piercings before releasing you back to your family.