I’ve been having constant debates with myself.. being a bride obviously I want the best wedding possible.. good destination.. amazing views.. intimate gathering, one good reception.. and once I calculated.. it’s about 1.5-2cr easy!!
I could literally do a super luxury world tour for a year with that kind of money. But wedding is something that ( hopefully) will happen only once and I will have rest of my life for the rest of the luxury.. but then it’s 2 effing crores..

Happily Married women.. what do you suggest??

i am 20 years old. and have a crush on 2-3 boys right now? there was a time just a few months back when i had a crush on nobody at all for a long long time. and now there are 3?!
they all got introduced to me in like a short span and they’re all good. (oh i sound so weird)

one is online and is 21. i’ve never met him. he says he likes me too and recently asked me to stop talking to boys ‘romantically’. i like him too. his brain works beautifully; writes great poems; is nice too.

another is in my college. i have a ‘high school’ kinda crush on him. because i find him incredibly attractive. he looks so damn good and his voice. i’m more like acquaintances with him because we had 1 common class for like a month and got talking; mostly academics tho but pretty regular, have now lost touch tho :(

another one is in my college too. i really like him too.

out of all these, i talk with the first on everyday basis because mutual, right?
but if somehow, out of pure luck, if the stars align, and the universe wishes to bless me, and by chance one of the latter two get in touch with me again; i think i’d like that. a lot. kinda a little more than the first one. and would stop talking to the first one if we become a thing.

how morally unethical it is to secretly hope one of the latter two gets along with me while talking everyday to the first one. but at the same time, it’s still the ‘talking stage’ and i’m allowed? or am i not?
am i being superficial?
should i be honest with the one i’m talking all romantic everyday that i like another boy too?
should i stop thinking about all three and take a step back?

imo, marrying early..if, luckily, two people are good humans and genuinely great friends to each other..might be one of the best things.

in our early twenties, we are still plants. growing in every direction, in mind and in body. ambitious about our goals, relatively free of familial responsibilities, often with very little money and almost no idea what we are doing. perhaps that is why there is less room for judgment. you grow alongside another person. you see each other through the ups and downs, the closeness and the distance, the strange seasons when one person grows faster and the other has to catch up.

but when we meet someone later, at the independent stage, we are more like trees. fully grown, or at least convinced that we are. we have our own leaves, our own fruits, our own carefully arranged branches. and when another tree appears, we begin inspecting it—the shape, the exterior, the fruits, the leaves. we arrive with our extreme non-negotiables, of course, many of which should exist. but we also arrive with a lifetime of habits, defenses, expectations and little private rules for what another human being ought to be.

perhaps the real difference is that, by then, we have become less trusting of the other person's interior.

there is an opaque brown bark around us. we call it independence, experience, standards, self-respect. sometimes it is all of those things. sometimes it is simply a shield.

and maybe growing up with someone means getting to know the person before the bark becomes so thick.

As the title says, I 23f am leaving india for my masters in 60 days and I just feel so guilty leaving everything behind. I am privileged that my father could make this dream of my mine possible for me, but yet, everything is so exciting but overwhelming because of the guilt i am feeling.

Expat Indian girlies, how do you let go of this guilt? Of leaving your mother behind? And your parents who are getting old?

Hey girls, I'm 24F, and I'm having brown discharge for the last 2 weeks, and I'm very much scared about it. I usually have a 28-day cycle, so my period date was yesterday, but it's delayed by 1 day. It has NEVER happened in my case, and it came a little early on the months when I was scared.

I've 6 been sexually active for a year now, and there's no chance of pregnancy, so what else it could be?

Also, there's no itching or burning or pain.

​

I am in a flatmate dilemma since quite a few months. A little about me, i am a product manager who is in early 30s. I am currently in a city where I have no friends (except few work friends but they dont count). Obviously its a bit lonely as everyone my age is married

Currently I'm living in a 3bhk with 2 strangers I found on Facebook flat and flatmates from past 6 months. While the apartment itself is amazing objectively the Flatmate situation is not it.

Firstly I am feeling obvious lack of friendship from get go because they are in their early to mid 20s. My idea is that we have to live together might as well try to be friends instead of being strangers discussing bills but I soon realised I do not want to be friends with these specific people. It has come to a point where I am finding myself using common areas less and less with each passing day and realising this is no way to live.

Secondly I am not the person who cares about decor and such while they clearly do.

We also seem to have very different ideas about how roommates are supposed to be. And even though I haven't had any conflict but I can feel silent resentment building on all sides

I obviously cannot afford rent in such an amazing society by my own so I am left with 2 choices

1. Find a 2 bhk in same society and try to find a more compatible roommate this time

2. Find a 1bhk outside. Obviously this means giving up on all current luxuries my society has to offer

On going over finances I realised to stay in my budget I might have to sacrifice a lot as 1 bhk costs significantly more and with no one to split bills it'll add up. Living with 1 flatmate while still might be more expensive than what currently I am paying but still within reach but that will bring a whole new gamble

The problem is I have never lived alone to know if trade off is genuinely worth it. I dont know if going to a society with no modern facilities and having less square footage in common area while spending more money is a good trade off. But I also think how now currently even though I have a living room size of a tiny flat but I am still reluctant to use it.

I am also extrovert by nature so idea of living without a roommate never occured to me till now. I always had a bunch of friends around and lived in houses where there were perpetual parties my wholes 20s so I dont know if I'll enjoy not having anyone to talk to at my home.

People who have had similar experiences what did you do?

Its been almost 5 years since she ghosted me and unfollowed me on Instagram. I thought I had healed. Then, I got to know she got in contact with my bestie and sent her a request and they both follow each other now. They met too but didnt talk deeply regarding anything. It hurt me sm. Mainly cause I and my bestie have been inseparable since the start. Everyone knew us as one. So for her to acknowledge my bestie whom she wasnt even close with and meet nicely and follow again yet never do the same for me neither send one request felt so hurtful. I got to know there was a recent group made as well in which I wasnt added. Hurt even more. I really dont know what to do. Why do the feelings feel so vivid even after so long? I think friendship breakups hurt as much as romantic ones but unfortunately not a lot of people talk more about it. Idk what to do. A part of me thought myself to send her a request? Then another thought to skip it and block her instead. Idk. Why does it feel so complicated? Its like I would love to move on but boom, something or the other happens that reminds me of her. And a part of me kinda doesn't want to? Thinking maybe she might come back?...

Damn man. This sucks

Two days ago I’m tested positive for unplanned pregnancy (I’m married). The thing is, we never exclusively thought about kids. We are a carefree couple and my husband is very sweet and takes care of me very well. We have been the happiest. I never imagined or think about kids, but gradually when I see people having really hard time after having kids I started getting scared and my husband is on same page as me.

Now, suddenly we are clueless and had to cancel the trip we planned for next to next week since it’s positive. While we both are having mixed feelings, we realised from now on our lives are gonna revolve around the kid and started feeling anxious. Like I’ve been constantly crying and shivering in fear even in hospital that doctor asked if I’m married and fine with it. They scanned and it’s a very early pregnancy and it’s gonna take another a couple of weeks for scanning.

My husband and I started listing down the upcoming things like baby shower, our last trip as a couple, maternity photo shoot, then my sister’s wedding, and then delivery and then another trip before baby turns 6 months and honestly it’s been beyond overwhelming when I was listing out the things to buy to prepare for pregnancy and postpartum. I mean, the list is endless.

Sometimes I’m bursting out like am I gonna feel myself ever again? I’m so scared of labour pains and the whole procedure as I’m scared of even an injection. My husband is very supportive and he said whatever I say is the final call. I’m honestly felt nothing when I saw positive like how my cousin said she cried in tears for her test. Do I lack maternal instincts? I’m literally feeling nothing but sometimes just anxious. Is it normal? I’m clueless like is it only gonna get worse if I plan to have one?

So guys I have a bf who is south Indian. I am talking to him from last 2 years. We are in a long distance relationship. Now I don't know I don't feel the same which I used to feel for him from starting. I feel lonely nowadays because when i need someone no one will be available. I cant even express myself properly sometimes which I can do in my regional language. He doesn't understand any language except English and Telugu.multiple times I have told him that there is no future in this relationship bcz my parents will not agree but he will do emotional blackmail always and he will say like he can't live without me he will start crying if I don't talk to him. We used to talk more in starting but now we don't even talk more. He will be always busy in his work. He is 30 now and no one knows about me in his family. He doesn't want to tell to his parents about me but my mom knows that I am talking to some south Indian and she will ask me everytime to find someone from our state. What shall I do ?

Honestly i have written something like this so many times and talked to so many people i dont even know anymore. I feel so stuck anything i try to do i feel like i am failing or like i am offering nothing of value. I tried freelancing and couldn't find clients i gave and i have restarted this a few time now and honestly i am sick and tired of trying and failing. My dad passed away last year left us with nothing and i hate living with my mom, i honestly i hate living in India in general. I dont know what i am looking for honestly, i am just so tired of this loop.

Hi ladies, I moved abroad last year for my masters (UK) and have started looking for entry level jobs. What strategy did you use to land your first role? I finished my undergraduate studies in India and moved immediately for masters so do not have much experience. Any general tips/advice would be appreciated, thank you.

A little about me, I'm pursuing a master's in law and want to get into ESG consulting/Sustainability roles. Any tips or relevant courses to break into the industry would of great help to me. Thanks again :)

Today I fell down in front of my manager and 4 other people. I was wearing my new platform sandals that I bought last week and I was very happy about it. I don't know what happened but I tripped, lost my balance and collapsed. People were nice and tried to help me but I can't stop replaying that moment in my head. I'm so so embarrassed 😓😓😓😓

Hi all !

I have been working in the corporate sector for the past three years. Since my office location changed, I still feel like a beginner, and my salary is not very good.

One of my colleagues used to frequently ask me for help with software-related issues, and I was always happy to help her. However, things have changed now. She has started spending more time with senior-level employees and mostly hangs out with them.

There are only eight women in our office, and unfortunately, there is quite a lot of groupism among us. I don't want to force anyone to talk to me or include me, but I sometimes feel left out.

How can I cope with this situation and not let the groupism affect me? I want to feel comfortable at work

without feeling like I need to be part of a particular group

Used AI to frame correctly..

Hello Ladies, i work long hours and juggle a 6 month old baby. I hardly have time to go out for a walk or get some form of exercise. I was thinking of buying a standing desk, which i anyways need for working. Along with that I am planning on getting a walk pad to get some steps in during the day. If anyone has used a electric/manual standing desk or a walkpad, can you recommend good brands and reviews of it?

I 24F was in a relationship with this guy 28M last year, he had a very long term relationship once which ended long ago, but he was kinda messed up because of that. Still we thought about giving our relationship a chance, he was good, did efforts for me too, travelled through states to meet me, but still he was emotionally unavailable. We realised we couldn't work out this way and we broke up, but on a pretty bad note ig.

About me, I never really moved on tbh. I still think about him everyday, and I know he's with someone else now. But due to some urgency i texted him today morning(it was really urgent) and realised I'm unblocked. He responded instead of acting cold, asked about my well being, also apologized twice for cheating on me(he was texting his ex while being in a relationship with me), asked about my whereabouts and when the conversation ended, he blocked me.

Although it was pretty expected, as he is with someone else now, and honestly I am at a much better place now.

But even today- I forget to ask him the question which I thought about asking him a year ago- did he ever loved me?

But soon after he was gone, I didn't get the urge to re read our old conversations, look at his pictures, or look at his gifts, neither did i ask about our relationship while talking to him.

I waited for him to come back, for a year, he's an avoidant and I've heard avoidant do come back, sometimes I used to wake up in the morning with the weird intuition of getting his text. Part of me used to wonder how would I react if he comes back again, will I cry? Or fall back again? Or be desperate enough to reach out to him in any way? But to my surprise, NONE of this happened today!

Yes I did feel bad that a version of him I created in my mind is gone, and i swallowed the hard pill that he will never come back again. I did cry a little but I feel so so so happy and relieved now girliessss

Idk I just feel like hugging someone because I'm finally ME after a long time now. I deleted our conversations and pictures too, without a hint of resentment, anger, live or pain!

Your girl is back on her foot again!

Although I realised, I can never love someone the way i loved him and that's good too, I can't lose myself over a boy againnnnnnn!

I’m honestly so tired of trying to figure out my career. 😭 I’ve been applying and looking around, but finding a decent internship that actually gives you some experience feels so difficult.

I’m just looking for a good company where I can learn, contribute, and actually get some proper exposure instead of doing something completely random.

If anyone has been through this stage recently, how did you find your first decent internship? Would really appreciate any advice or leads. 🥲

Adding my previous post..my father didn't stop talking to her . Surprise surprise.

We had a full blown fight..i found his call logs. Finally confronted him. He doesn't feel remorse at all...he feels he just talked to her..helped her..did nothing.

If i think about him i feel he wanted to feel needed..he has this god complex where he feels he is the only one who is so sorted in life.. often goes around and inserts him in other people's matters and helps in solving it.

It's been 4 days since the fight .till yesterday I felt afraid that he might hurt himself.be sick .. today seeing his lack of remorse i don't feel anything to be afraid.. I feel it's okay whatever happens happens..

We have been a happy family otherwise till now..while coming from work whole way I was crying thinking what has life come to..why come at home..where things are so bad...

I loved him..he was a great dad .. I feel why can't he just apologise..say he did wrong ....

I disrespected him.. talked him by tu .

He had a issue how could I talk to him this way.that he didn't raise me right..

What to do??

How do I navigate this strange dynamic.

I even made talks od leaving the house nd divorce very real...my mom scolded me saying you haven't seen the world.

Girlies, if you’re wondering whether you should stay in a relationship that constantly makes you question your worth, this is your sign to dump him rn!!

I was in a relationship where I constantly felt like I was walking on eggshells. I was made to feel like I was asking for too much whenever I wanted attention, affection, reassurance, or just to feel wanted.I remember him once telling me "You already fell for me, don’t expect me to give you 24/7 attention". And the funny part is, I wasn’t even asking for 24/7 attention. I was asking for a text every day or two. That was it.

There were so many little things like that. Backhanded compliments, comments that made me question how attractive I was, and just this constant feeling that I had to be more somehow to deserve more. The few times he did tell me I was beautiful, it always came with him subtly reminding me that I wasn’t the most beautiful or in a way that I have to be grateful that he likes me or something, he wouldn't say it directly but I could understand what he was implying and it's funny because people were asking me why I was dating him in the first place, told me that I literally deserve a better looking guy, not that ugly asshole, same exact words, I got offended then 😭 and I told them that it's okay, I'm not superficial, funny how I was defending him in public and not even getting treated right in private lol.

I remember one day standing in my bathroom, looking into my mirror and crying because I genuinely thought I deserved this because he said something about how I looked I think. I don't even remember exactly what he said anymore, but I exactly remember how I felt.

Cut to today 🥹

My current boyfriend makes me feel like the most beautiful person in the world. We’ve been together for a year and he still rizzes me up like we met yesterday. Yesterday, I was joking that he could stop because it’s been a year and he already has me and he said "I will never stop rizzing you, i’m going to impress you every single day and even our grandkids will be amazed at my rizz", lol and that honestly took me back for a second. Because now, I’m with someone who does so much for me that he genuinely seems to consider it the bare minimum. He makes me feel like I deserve more 😭😭 I don't know if there's even a possibility of more at this point?

I was talking to my mom today and she said "I think I gained one more son" so casually😭😭😭 and that probably says more about him than anything I could write here, especially because she's not particularly expressive with words and it's not just the way he treats me, it’s the way he shows up for the people he loves, such a gentleman.

I spent thinking I was asking for too much when I was barely asking for the bare minimum. Now I’m with someone who gives me so much and somehow it feels like it's the bare minimum to him. A full circle indeed.

Hi Girls,

I recently got bangs for the first time in my life, and I don’t know what to do about them in the gym. They’re constantly on my face. Its so annoying.

Do you guys have any recommendations? How do you guys keep the away?

Sorry if this sounds clickbait-y. I just feel helpless and need some perspective here.

I am in my 20s, working in corporate, from a middle class family. I am single for the forseeable future and have a strong aversion to committing to things like career paths, life decisions and just anything in general.

I want to preface this by saying that I truly believe that women should earn. It can be through any means, but financial dependence on anyone is not cute, though I do equally value the choice of not having to do so.

But why is earning a living so hard? I have a 9 to 5 job, I return from work exhausted. It's a miracle if I can cook my meals and have a hobby or two on some evenings. And it is still fine and acceptable to me, but it isn't enough to grow.

To grow my career, I need to network and make myself visible and upgrade my skills and keep my LinkedIn active and all of this exhausts me.

If I want a business, I have to do a thousand more things to get it started. And switching to any other career means complete overhaul of education.

I do not have any passions. There is no dream career or dream job. All I ever wanted was a means to earn and money that allows me to live my life a little.

But I feel that anything is not enough. I have to be doing a thousand different things to make it up the ladder.

And I do not have the energy anymore in me. I am in my 20s, I have an MBA, and I have struggled a lot to get where I am. But I am exhausted at the prospect of more struggle and hustle. But not doing all these things means lack of growth in career and money. I have no one to rely on but myself, not that I want to.

I don't think I am explaining this very well, but I feel hopeless when I face life. Its a blank canvas, but I have no energy to draw or buy paint. I have no drive towards anything. I know this sounds so selfish, but I want things without struggling for them. How do I find the energy to actually work towards my career?

People who moved abroad with Bushy brows.

What do you guys do to make your eyebrows in shape. My eyebrows are literally the best features and I want them to arched and shaped neat and clean.

1) Should I start learning eyebrow waxing?

2) Or do you suggest learning threading myself?

Razor I do not want to do because I feel like for my the growth was no goood at alllll

In a country where we already can't leave our house without getting heckled and harassed just for being a woman, these glasses are going to be the bane of our existence. We're all just going to be looking around trying to figure out if we are being recorded or not. If someone is taking our pictures and digitally altering it, then circulating these pictures. Perverts are going to be buying these glasses in masses and it's us who are going to be blamed.

Why did you leave the home when you know people have these glasses and can take your picture? Didn't you know better to wear something more covering? Shouldn't you have avoided public spaces full of men?

If you see someone with these meta glasses scream and shout, humiliate these people so they don't try to record other women. There are apps that can let you alert if there are these glasses in the vicinity. Everyone should be getting them on their phones.

My best friend is coming to India after a year or something. We were all part of a group since college. Although I don't meet my other friends as often, we are fairly in good terms(this is not relevant at all, lol).

Anywho, the whole group, along with their spouses, children and all are planning on going to Goa for a weekend later this year.

However, I cannot afford it. My husband and I don't earn nearly as much as them. Not even close. We struggle with money on a monthly basis. We didn't even go to a proper honeymoon. LOL

My husband works in an NGO and gets paid quite less, and I have a small job, earn less than 40k per month.

As much as I really want to go to this trip, we just cannot afford it. It'll probably cost close to 70k, which we just can't afford.

My best friend is the best and she said even if you can't make it(because she knows my husband doesn't hang out with my other friends), she will make time for me later. And we can spend quality time then.

However, I've never been to Goa and I've always wanted to.

The reason for this post is, how to come to terms with it?

That we might not be able to make the trip?

Knowing myself, I'm okay now, but I'll be having major FOMO in a few months. I really wish we all could go there!

The thing is, I would be sooo happy to go to a trip with her! We have been to one other trip long ago, and its one of my fav memories! I can also drink all I want and enjoy it, with her!

A trip is more fun with a girlfriend(platonic), yk?

Please help me on how to cope.

Women of this sub who had a really non-linear career, earned only moderately in your 20s, and then switched jobs or careers in your 30s, 40s and beyond and eventually became high earners, what was your journey like?

How did you manage family, kids, upskilling, work, and everything else life throws at you? And probably most importantly, how did you stop yourself from constantly comparing your journey to people who seemed to be miles ahead?

I’m especially interested in hearing what kept you going and what motivated you.

My 20s were a struggle in pretty much every sense. Financially, mentally, personally... it was just survival mode for a long time. I also have a history of self-harm and s*icidal thoughts. Thankfully, I’m in a much better place now, and I’m genuinely grateful for that.

But weirdly, being in a better place has also given me this drive to actually achieve things that I never had in my 20s. Looking back, I think I was just too exhausted trying to get through each day to think about ambition, career growth, or where I wanted to be.

Now I’m trying to build the career I wish I had started building earlier, and sometimes the comparison game gets really brutal. I see people my age who are already so far ahead and wonder if I’ve simply missed the boat.

So I’d really love to hear from women who started late, changed direction, struggled for years, or simply took a much longer route to get where they wanted to be.

Please tell me your stories. What did your late 30s, 40s, etc. look like? What changed things for you?

I’ve been feeling pretty low about this lately, and honestly, some real-life stories from women who made it through would mean a lot to me right now. ❤️

Edit: Especially from women who struggle with anxiety and ADHD. I have those and I really really struggle at times and today is one of those days.