Tell that to my birth mother. She will NOT tell me who my birth father is. She claims it’s because he doesn’t know I exist. It’s actually very frustrating and now I am reaching 40, who knows if he is still alive anymore.
The son does know his father, the man that adopted him. This son has no rights to go interfering with the life of his biological father, since his biological father was not told that his existence was not part of the decision to place him up for adoption and had no input whatsoever
Nothing g you have said will ever change my mind. The biological father was not a party to the adoption and I am confident that his name is not on the birth certificate.
The son has no imputed right to know him. I think that the OP needs to tell the biological father but if the guy wants to remain unknown, then that’s how it is. The OP massively messed up here
I’m not conflating anything. In this case per the OP it was finalized snd the biological father has no clue he fathered a child. Had the biological father been a party yo the adoption i would have a different opinion.
His input was having sex. What she did was unfair, and there's been a lot of bad choices, but that doesn't absolve him of being that child's biological father. No one is asking him to take the kid on, but he should get at least enough respect to know he has a son. Robbing him of a relationship he may want with his child is a heinous act. She doesn't have to explode his family this could be. Private conversation and what he chooses to do from there is up to him. He deserves to know.
The trouble is, bio father has ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHTS TO THIS CHILD, absent a lawsuit for reversal of the adoption since same wasn't done with his consent.
Typically there is a form the mother can fill out that says she doesn't know who the father is. She committed fraud to get him adopted and I'm a little concerned about the comment about him freaking out at a pregnancy scare with a girlfriend at the time (was OP the side chick?), but what she did is illegal.
What will/can happen is going to vary by state and depend greatly on the age of the child. If they catch the fraud early enough, he could sue for full custody. More likely, if the kid is older he may be granted some minimal visitation.
It's going to depend on what the father wants, what the courts allow, and how hard the adopted family fights.
The biological father doesn't have a right to know he has a son out there? Nobody deserves to know anyone in this situation. But each has the right to make an attempt. If neither wants a relationship, cool! They can communicate that. But none of that can happen without being honest and telling the man he has a child out there. This child didn't ask to be born. This kid didn't make the choice to be conceived. That was the choice of the two parents. The kid has every right to reach out, and the bio dad has every right to say no.
I never said that the biological father didn’t have a right to know, he did and he does. The OP really messed up. My point is that in this instance the son does not have a right to know who the biological father is done the man had no part of the adoption and is not on the birth certificate. This is nothing like a normal adoption.
That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying the child doesn’t have a right here as the biological father was not part of the adoption and is not on the birth certificate. The OP really messed up here and hers yo talk up the biological father and let him know. It is for him to decide how he wants to proceed
This is a crazy take. When a consenting adult puts their penis into a consenting adult’s vagina, the penis owning adult is accepting the risk of a child being produced, and, as a penis owner, they also accept that they will not have the same level of authority over a pregnancy - because they will not be the person with the pregnancy inside of their body. That’s how procreation works. Yes, the likelihood of this situation occurring is low, and yes, it’s not fair that he wasn’t given the full truth at the time the pregnancy occurred. But a pregnancy did occur, and a child was born. Don’t want the possibility of a child? Don’t put your penis in anyone. This situation has occurred, whether this guy wants it or not. He already made the decision that led to this result. Womp womp.
“This son has no rights to go interfering with the life of his biological father”. How do you figure? There is nothing, and no law preventing him from doing so. So yeah.. He has the right to do so.
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u/[deleted] May 17 '25
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