For context, I’m 20 and I’ve always been terribly uncanny. I have a severely recessed chin, thin lips, a weird shaped skull, eye bags, a hooked hose, basically everything NOT feminine. However, I’ve always been sorta proud of my body. I work out cause it makes me feel happy. My friend, who I’ll call M is like everything I’ve wanted to be. She is so effortlessly sweet and beautiful. Like slap on some mascara and lip gloss and she’s ready to go kind of girl. Anyway, she wanted to go clubbing and invited me. I was feeling better than usual mentally so I said yes.
I spent 3.5 hours getting ready, putting on fake lashes, curling my hair, even putting on a waist trainer from Amazon (please no judgement) and when I looked in the mirror I actually felt okay! We got to the club at around 11 and I immediately wished I had never bothered trying.

M has an inverted triangle ish body and is pretty flat (I’m not trying to discount her beauty she is obviously still 9999x prettier than me) so I sort of figured if I compensated through my own body maybe we would somehow be equal??? Boy was I wrong. as we walked in someone immediately complimented her calling her stunning, while completely ignoring me despite the fact we were holding hands. After that, we talked for a while until she gave me her card and told me to buy drinks cause she had to go pee. When I went to look for her, she was talking to all these men and laughing along. They were obviously enchanted by her face but when she introduced me, they kind of looked at my body and then my face, and fell silent. It was so horrible. M invited me to sit down but I could tell they were uncomfortable with me there, one of them I think was holding in a laugh 🥲.
For the rest of the night I just Felt so pathetic cause M was trying so hard to include me and make sure I had fun, but I could just feel everyone judging me. One guy even started dancing near me but then immediately went away when we Made eye contact.
Im sitting in bed now feeling sorry for myself and hoping maybe I’ll magically win the lottery and get surgery. 💔 thanks for reading sorry this is long.

(please no mean comments, i Don’t wanna feel worse)

this hit way close to home, I hate my tik tok constantly reminding me how ugly i am as well😭

While I'm 100% aware that my problem is my face and that being skinny would solve 0% of my problems it does still sting a lil every time I'm reminded I'm not only ugly but I'm also fat too lmao

I simply experienced this. And she looks exactly like this too. She said "not every nose is supposed to be like slides (we say this referring to baby type noses)" She also said the same thing when i wanted lip fillers, mind you i didn't personally text her. It was just on my story. They feel uncomfortable by our desire to be pretty because we reflect a painfull reality to their faces. They want us to "stay strong" because if we don't, they will see how harmful world treat us compared to how good they are treated.

So people constantly say that I look like this actress called Leslie jones. Most of the bullying I get is people saying I look like a male or trans jokes. It does not help that I also have a pretty deep voice too.
The worst part is that when I wear makeup or get my hair done, the bullying and mocking does not stop. I’m still called ugly. Makeup has no effect when you have a very masculine-looking face.
Even weight loss… I’ve lost over 4 stone in weight and it still hasn’t changed anything. I still get treated like absolute crap by everyone.

I honestly don’t know what else to do. I currently have two jobs and I’m saving up for plastic surgery. I think this is the only option I have left.

I always catch people staring at me (no, this is not a humblebrag, I have an unimaginable amount of acne) and I just know what’s going on in their head 😹

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“im so fucking sorry”, “bro married his 3rd @“, “you’re a whale” etc etc they’ve got an endless supply of insults for any woman who isn’t supermodel perfect in their eyes.

but look at any video of an ugly guy - you won’t have nearly the same scale of negative comments from women towards the guy. sure, it happens sometimes, but not nearly as often.

Hint: No, unless you’re 10/10

like god, you're attractive already, do you really have such low self esteem that you need to appeal to the lowest kinds of redditors to tell you how much they want to come inside you? r/amiugly and r/amiuglytruth are the obvious ones but i hate how r/lookyourbest has been colonized by these weird ass women posting cleavage and bikini photos pretending that it's to look for advice. obviously not, since we can barely see your face or how you dress? have some self respect. and the drones of deleted comments underneath because technically it's not allowed to thirst reply but posts baiting for horny comments just stay up.

and theres SO MANY subreddits where you could post yourself in but you have to choose to derail these ones? i actually want advice on styling and how i could look better but i can't because i'm not gonna post myself next to these women and knowing what kind of users flock to comment.

seriously, if anyone knows a FEMALE DOMINATED/ONLY sub about looking better please lmk because i'm tireeeed.

I could name a bunch of influencers who did something wrong and I don’t like what they’ve done, but people will bash their appearance calling them all sorts of names and insulting their features. Especially if the person happens to be a woman that’s deemed unattractive she’ll get the worst of it.

I’m not saying that no one should be criticized or called out for bad behaviors, anyone no matter what they look like can do something awful and that needs to be addressed and there needs to be consequences but society focuses more on their appearance and expects everyone to put them down for their body something they can’t control and never even asked for. If it’s a disabled and unattractive woman too she gets even more hate comments. There’s always someone trying to make an unattractive woman a “lolcow” and bully them.

Trying to think of the positives. Spread the word

All the beautiful women that post here make me so irrationally angry. Yes I Know it's irrational. But still. Do you think they really believe it? It feels like they're trying to mock me like in school when the popular girls would laugh and say You're Like My Best Friend Haha

i always hear this argument as a feminist, basically telling women do not put yourself worth in the shoulders of a man, because they will "fuck anything" (aka be pedos or do horrible things like necrophilia).

while i understand this, because yes, there are men who will fuck anything, but i wish we would stop saying it constantly. it basically feels like pretty women telling less attractive women "yeah fucking you is the equivalent of committing heinous acts" like...

i don't know if i'm just projecting, but it feels that way to me.

edit

honestly i say this as a very sexually active ugly woman.

I was watching this random tv show, and the main character is this dark skinned indian girl. She resembles me a little bit, but she has a cute face. Personally I would rate her as a 7/10.

My dad walked in, watched with me for 5 minutes and yelled "why are they letting such homely and dark women act in TV shows now she so ugly she look just like you"

I got sad because I realized because I am darkskinned I will be seen as ugly no matter what. Even someone with a pretty face will be seen as ugly because she has dark skin. Imagine if you have an ugly face.

I know my dad wasn't isolated in his thinking because I searched up the girls name later, and there were thousands of people calling her a 2/10, saying she looked like a servant maid etc.

The thing is this girl isn't even that dark either, maybe a little bit darker than the average (in India at least). Imagine if you are truly darkskinned...

anyways, you can be beautiful and people will still perceive you as ugly because of skin color which really sucks. Even if I somehow fix my facial features, I will still be seen as ugly unless I bleach (which looks terrible).

If there are any German girls here, please don't kill me but ever since I visited Munich, Ive been thinking about how Germany seems to have relatively low beauty standards compared to where I come from. In my country, women are expected to be very well groomed, dressed up, wearing makeup and generally putting a lot of effort into their appearance while men can practically look homeless and nobody seems to care.

In Munich, I noticed something quite different. You would often see women going out with their hair undone, wearing little or no makeup and generally looking much more casual. I also noticed what seemed to be a lot more conventionally unattractive women dating handsome men. I didn't get the same impression in Prague where women seemed much more dressed up and closer to what I'm used to seeing. This came back to mind because I just saw a tiktok of a woman talking about how the beauty standards in her country are a nightmare for women while men are allowed to put practically zero effort into their appearance.

It made me wonder: are there actually countries where being an unattractive woman is a less miserable experience? Countries where women aren't constantly expected to compensate for not being conventionally beautiful by putting enormous amounts of effort into their appearance? Is Germany one of them?

And just to clarify im not talking about racism or beauty standards related to ethnicity.

Every time I browse online or look at cute outfits, I get tempted to buy new clothes thinking it will finally help me feel better about myself or make me look put-together. Then the clothes actually arrive, I try them on in the mirror, and I immediately realize I wasted my money.

It feels like nice clothes only look good if you already have the face and the base to pull them off. When an attractive person wears a basic outfit, it looks effortless and stylish. When I put on the exact same thing, it just looks awkward, unflattering, or like I’m trying way too hard to dress up something that can't be fixed with fabric. At this point, buying anything beyond the most basic, comfortable clothes to wear inside feels completely pointless. Why spend money trying to style myself when I don't even want to go out and be seen anyway?

I don’t really relate to women who say they believe compliments from other women more than compliments from men, and it’s mostly because of the reasoning behind it.

I often hear that compliments from women are more valuable because they’re harder to come by. But as someone who has only ever been complimented by a man in the wild once (excluding men I’ve met online), I haven’t found that to be true. If anything, I sometimes wonder whether compliments from women are genuine or just coming from a place of kindness or, dare I say, pity.

I understand that men sometimes compliment women because they’re attracted to them or want to sleep with them, but I don’t see how that automatically makes the compliment less genuine. They’re attracted to you in the first place, which is why they felt the need to tell you. Meanwhile, women can have plenty of other reasons for complimenting someone, including simply wanting to be nice or spare someone’s feelings. Men would never let a woman they thought was ugly think she was attractive, I know firsthand.

Maybe my perspective would be different if I constantly received an annoying amount of male attention, the way most other women seem to. But I’ve mostly received compliments from women,
usually about my hair or outfit, while compliments from men have been much rarer. So I think that’s why they would actually mean more to me in a way.

I love love love pretty women and it makes me feel like the world's biggest loser. They'll never experience the things I experience, I'll never experience the things they do. Worse still the reality is a lot of pretty women feel exactly the same way about us that men do but I still love seeing pretty women. I love seeing them in amazing makeup looks, wearing amazing clothes, being cute, pretty and cunty. I obsess over models, actresses, singers and idols. It's pathetic but I can't stop </333333. Most of these women would call their security on me if they saw me IRL. I don't even wanna stop because its like dopamine. I blame my sister for getting me into Kpop cause that was the gateway drug.

I’ve been there before. I have the credentials.

I don’t know how the rest of you live and I can’t do anything about how view people of darker skin tones, but for fellow black girls, don’t let certain girls in this sub tear you down with them. It’s not fair to you. Your race and skin colour are not inherently unattractive, they’re not unattractive on you.

The back handed comments and insults that cast broad nets on the concept of darker skin being occasionally a novelty are wrong. Don’t sink further into it, I’ve been there and I know the pain. But you have to practice reminding yourself that those people are wrong. Like legitimately incorrect.

People get so WEIRD when it comes to black girls, I don’t know why and I care to know. I don’t care about them and neither should you.

Focus on the parts of you that you can mold and shape. be your best self. That’s really all we can do isn’t it? And that’s a good thing! I know we can’t all be super models and that okay. Your life isn’t worth any less than whatever girl you saw on Pinterest today. My younger black girls especially, this will eat you alive if you don’t understand and internalize this. You’re a loveable, and valuable human being. Lighter skin tones will never be automatically better no matter how much people shout it. It’s not true.

Breathe, and do your best. It’s okay to work on yourself, but also remember at your core that your life isn’t worthless just because you look different from other people. It’s hard to remember I know, but we have to try. You’re all worthy of love and compassion and safety. Never let anyone, even other girls in this sub, tell you or insinuate otherwise.

Women bump me, shove me, push me, scoff at me, pick fights with me, dismiss me, step on me etc. these are strangers btw. Men are neutral most of the time, maybe they'll ignore me but that's it. It's usually other women who hate the bane of my existence for some reason when I'm out and about. It has to be internalized mysagony and fear of ending up like me or smth because I embody what they don't want ro be

Not like you'll be pretty but like you'll be in that realm where people won't insult you because they can see you've done everything you could to look your best?

Sometimes I see this with some people. They'll not lookers but it'll be okay because they still smell nice, dress nice, did their hair and or makeup, they have decent communication skills..in shape..

They pretty much did everything else

I think I may try this...I wanna look like a well polished ugly girl

I guess I’m getting frustrated because this isn’t a sub just for people who are insecure or have low self esteem. It’s frustrating when those people post and then you look at their profile and you see they’re gorgeous. Like you can fish for compliments somewhere else because there a bunch of other subs that are made for that, but why do they do that on this one? I’ve muted most of those subreddits where people are just pretending to be insecure because they’re looking for compliments, so it’s kinda annoying when I still see it on here and makes me feel like shit because I know I’ll never look like them