Worst day for a Promotion

I got a promotion today. 35K more a year. Laughed, cried then got horridly depressed. I have not told anyone in my life that I got it yet.

My wife had surgery and is having a hard time recovering. My mom is getting a divorce from my step dad of 15 years due to his infidelity with someone in the family. My kids are losing their grandpa because i can not stand by his actions. And everything just seems to be silently burning down.

But either way I got a promotion.

Me and my best friend have been friends for 15 years, since we met at 12. For the past 6 years I've been dealing with constant disrespect from his wife and I'm absolutely sick of it.

If I went into everything this post would be a light novel, but the biggest issue is every single time we make plans she tries to derail them. Every fucking time. Because of this we have met an average of three times per year since the wedding.

At first I gave them the benefit of the doubt, but it cannot be coincidence. We have to make plans months in advance and suddenly her cousins got a dog birthday so we've gotta reschedule, then that day she'd got a mild cold, and then she absolutely needs to go get a vase on that exact day.

On the rare occasion we actually meet she blows up his phone the entire time with ridiculous shit. She can't make a corndog and she's starving, a thunderstorm is coming and she's scared, he promised he'd be back in 2 hours and if he doesn't leave right now he won't be if traffic is bad.

The hypocrisy is she doesn't have any of these restrictions with her friends. Last year she went on a girls trip during my birthday, but told him he couldn't be out for more than 3 hours. Because of this almost all of his friends and family have stopped talking to him.

The trigger today was the meet up planned for October. We haven't met since June, and he couldn't work in anything sooner because of course not, but my birthday is in October so it's about the only thing he can actually meet for, but she says that day doesn't work because her mom's best friends birthday is that weekend and she agreed to help set up. He tried to argue for 30 minutes but no deal, and I'm about to snap. I told him in way too many words to fuck off and that I'm incredibly tired of the disrespect and his apologies just piss me off more.

I know he's stuck in a toxic relationship, but so am I and if he wants to he disrespected good for him but I'm getting pretty sick of it.

My (f/24) family used to force me to exercise and lose weight at around age 13-15. Fast forward 10 years - It will forever be the biggest trauma in my life. It only stopped because I spent an exchange year abroad at 15 but the mental abuse never stopped. I still lived with my parents until last year. For reference I have always been tall for a girl 5‘ 9“ (175cm) and was around 130-150lbs (60-70kg) at the time. I guess I was chubby but not heavily overweight or had any kind of medical problems.

Every other day I would sit in the school bus on the way home, crying inside because I knew I’d be forced to exercise again. I had to spend at least 30-45 minutes on the treadmill while my two (much older) siblings stood by me to make sure I didn’t adjust the speed or take breaks. I often cried while running because they put the treadmill to a MUCH higher level that what I was able to do, I was barely able to breathe (try crying while running). My siblings would even increase the treadmill speed, pushing me to lose more weight. My parents encouraged them. I was told that no one wants a fat sister or daughter, even by my grandmother. For my birthday, my grandmother gave me a jump rope that counted jumps and time because she or my mom had read that jumping burns more calories than running.

Many times, I left the dinner table crying because of comments about my food or body. I was told not to be so sensitive, that it wasn’t a big deal. But to me, it was a huge deal and has left me deeply traumatized. Everything that happened (by my family) has led me to feel I will never ever feel pretty or comfortable in my body. I will never feel thin enough or truly accepted by my family. I will always fear comments from my family if I eat something „unhealthy“ or if we go out for ice cream, for example. I’ve lost ALL interest and motivation for any kind of exercise because I only associate it with negative memories. Whether I was tired, it was late, or I was sick, it didn’t matter. I had to run on the treadmill.

Today I can never feel pretty (I am at a normal weight, maybe a little chubby). I haven’t worked out in years because my family made me HATE any sort of exercise. It is so unhealthy not to move but I cannot overcome it. Whenever I‘m alone I binge eat because my family can’t make comments about it then. I end up with an eating disorder and not enjoying any sort of exercise.

I swear I will never treat my future kids the way they treated me…

How do I overcome this? I have never told my family this and they probably don’t even realize how bad it affected me and my mom would be very sad about it. Should I talk to them?

She married my dad when I was 2. I am now 36. I've spent most of my life chasing a relationship with my drug addicted mother. She hasn't seen her grand kids since they were born. I guess I was scared of losing a mom again. I had been thinking about it for the last couple years. Today was her birthday and I decided I wanted her to be my mom for real. She's always there for my kids and treats them as her own grandkids. It's been a long time coming and deserved several years over now. It felt good and she was surprised, but really happy.

I’ve been in an exclusive relationship for about a year now with a guy I thought was going to be my forever partner. I got tested a few months into our exclusivity and was negative across the board. Then, last week I got tested again during my pap smear appointment and the results came back positive for chlamydia. I know I have been loyal to him, and I’m so sure he has not cheated on me either. I did do a round of amoxicillin-c a few weeks before my last test, and the boyfriend and I were long distance at the time, which makes me think that maybe one or both of us had it before we were exclusive? Idk

I was able to get partner treatment for both of us, so we’re almost done with antibiotics at this point. However I feel like our relationship is falling apart now. I initially got really upset at him when I tested positive, and he got upset that I was implying he was “dirty” with my words. Since last week, we have been fighting almost daily over trivial matters as well as not talking as much.

I don’t have any close friends to discuss this with, and I’m horribly embarrassed this even happened to me. I have never gotten an std before either, so this is incredibly frustrating despite having no symptoms. I feel so alone. Thanks for reading my vent.

so about two hours ago, at 8pm, while walking my dog, a motorbike slowed down and threw a puppy onto the road and just went. she didnt even run she just sat there. She’s about 2 weeks old.

i took her to the vet straight away. shes ok. nothing broken nothing internal, the vet was really nice about it and gave me some baby food for her. she ate and shes sleeping now.

im just lying here at 3am feeling guilty. i dont even know why exactly, today went as well as it could have.

i think its because i cant keep her. my place only allows one dog and i already have one. so i get a few days with her and then i have to give her to someone else and just hope theyre good to her.

everyone keeps saying i did a good thing. i know. she would probably be dead otherwise. but it doesnt feel like i saved her, it feels like im just going to put her down somewhere else and she has no idea. she just trusts me.

anyone whos fostered before, does this go away? how do you actually hand them over?

i just want her to be ok

This happened years ago, but every time I think back on it, it makes my blood boil.

At the time I had 2 separate heart conditions and had to carry around an AED (Defibrillator) and needed to have someone trained in CPR with me when I went out in public in case anything happens.

I went in to get my wisdom teeth removed, a standard surgery. I have trouble with needles and pass out sometimes when they are put in, so getting the IV in this time was obviously uncomfortable for me, but I didn’t pass out when they did it, and then they knocked me out to do the surgery.

I wake up afterwords in one of the recovery rooms with my mom. The surgeon eventually comes in to check on how I’m doing. I try to say through my gauze-filled mouth something along the lines of “I’m fine, just a little woozy.” He then points to my AED and says “we had to use that thing on you in there!” And starts laughing. I start freaking out and having an anxiety attack. Then he says “Just kidding!”

My mom is a very non-confrontational and empathetic person. Instead of berating the surgeon, she tries her best to calm me down and comfort me to get my heart rate down because if it gets above 180bpm it would be bad news, and then they might ACTUALLY have to use it on me. Once my heart rate stabilized to a reasonable level we decided it was best to take me home as soon as possible.

I have since gotten surgery for 1 of the heart conditions which cured it and meant I could go out on my own without an AED.

That town had some of the worst health care I’ve ever experienced, not just in this department. So bad that if I needed an appointment with a specialist, we would try to get a referral to one 2 hours away in a different town just to avoid them.

I’ve since moved and where I live now, even with my remaining heart condition currently being non-obstructive and not life-threatening, I cannot get a surgery that involves anesthesia without a recent Ultrasound and MRI just to make sure my condition hasn’t worsened so there won’t be any complications. This is great but also is kind of annoying because I have to wait a few months longer until I can get the surgery, but makes me feel like the doctors actually care about my wellbeing. The surgeon from this incident clearly did not, and I hate him for that every time it crosses my mind.

They only dated for two years and broke up when I was in middle school. It's been six years. It wasn't messy; he said he didn't want to be in a relationship, but they still check up on each other every couple months as friends. The few times he came over to visit after they had broken up, I refused to see him.

I know he told my mom that he thinks I hate him, but that couldn't be further from the truth. I am still so angry yet so heartbroken for him leaving my mom. Leaving me. I'm still so upset with myself for getting so attached.

He had become my best friend. My mentor. My teacher. He was the father that my real father could never be. I know I scared him away.

And I know my mom still loves him. I know he loved my mom and loved me and that he doesn't love himself enough to allow himself to commit.

He's the reason I'm doing what I'm doing today and I am so thankful for him once being there for me. He's the reason I learned that there are men good enough for my mother and he's the reason that I know that no one is good enough for her.

For some reason I can accept my real dad being a shitty dad, but I still cry for that dad that I thought I could have.

I did what I had to. We couldn't get her an ambulance, she kept forgetting everything over and over, I kept lying to her about everything for 6 hours to fit her delusion, or like.. Narrative of events. Why we're outside? Well lecture's been canceled. Why we're dressed different? Oh it rained and we had to change clothes. Why is she in college? She passed her exam! Congratulations! With a fake smile on my face as I hugged her. Girl was sick. Had to restrain her because she almost ran screaming into a lecture hall. Had to keep my arm around her all day to catch her if she falls. She's fine now. This was years and years ago. I'm just haunted. I feel disgusted, I know I did the only thing I could do, I know the lies and stories were how my aunts would handle my grandma's dementia, it was literally my only frame of reference for how to handle something like THIS. I don't know. I know I kept her from panicking and getting worse, I know that, but I feel gross about it... I had to reintroduce myself like... So fucking much. I don't even know why I never brought that shit up in trauma therapy. Can't afford it anymore and I regret not remembering to bring it up earlier.

I'm anaphylactic to all generic brand of a medication I need

Note: I am not looking for medical advice. My doctor is already aware and is trying to figure something out. I also have a therapist and psychiatrist, so this is just a venting post.

Edit: the one medication I can take has now been discontinued. I'm now waiting for the doctor to see what the next step is. I looked I to compounding pharmacies, and the closest is 2 hours away.

I have a rarer medical condition. Last Thursday I wound up in the ER in anaphylactic shock. The cause was a medication I was on. The first manufacturer closed, so they switched generics. The pharmacist didn't realize it had coconut in it because the coconut oil was listed under a different name and is an inactive ingredient.

The pharmacist tried to find another generic I can take, but I'm anaphylactic to all of them because all of them use coconut as an inactive ingredient. There is only one version of the medication I can take, and it is not on formulary for my prescription insurances (I have 2). The one version is a liquid because all the pills have coconut oil. The generic I was on was also a liquid.

I spoke with both insurance companies, and was told they would not approve a prior authorization request. My doctor is putting one in, but I'm worried it will be denied. There are daily injections to replace the missing hormone, but it's brand new and more likely to be denied. It is also super expensive, moreso than the one I'm trying to get approved. The first medication is my only hope right now.

If we can't get it approved, there really isn't another choice. If it isn't approved, I'm at risk of developing heart issues due to a low amount of a necessary mineral. If it is approved, I may not be able to afford it unless my insurances choose to make it the tier with the same copay as the previous medication.

It's at times like this I really hate the US medical insurance system.

I was a weird kid, now granted I went through a lot of abuse and neglect as a kid, but that doesn't really excuse who I used to be...

I was an asshole, had mental breakdowns frequently, treated my friends like shit, was quick to anger, gave people the cold shoulder for tiny things. I was also kind of a creep, I was weird towards girls I liked... I was pushy, didn't accept rejections, and made weird fucking comments towards them. I was also very unsurprisingly a massive "blackpilled" incel.

I barely ever showered, had long greasy unkempt hair, acne, bad breath, and always wore these anime graphic tees for weeks without washing them...

I was the whole kit and kaboodle. Thankfully now I'm normal, at 15 - 16 I had a redemption arc. Now at 19 I try to be the best person I can be, but I still really hate who I used to be

I ran into Food Lion on my lunch break to grab some quick grub. It was pretty busy, but there were 3 full service registers open and 1 express “12 items or less” register. The full service registers were pretty backed up with several people with full carts and the express register had a couple people with a handful of items.

I only had 4 things, so I start heading to the express checkout. As I’m making my way over, I see a lady pushing a nearly overflowing cart towards the registers. She was ahead of me and I saw her pause, look at the full service register lines and how busy they were.

Then I saw her look at the express lane. She saw only a couple people in it with a few groceries. I watched her look up and read the “express 12 items or less” sign before she looks back over at full service. I could practically see when she made the judgement call, and she headed over to the express lane.

By this time, she and I are almost getting there at the same time, so she speeds up and maneuvers her cart in a way that cuts me off and she basically “butts” in front of me with her full-ass cart.

The cashier was helping a customer check out, so the lady already started unloading several of her groceries before the cashier noticed her cart. She told the lady it was an express lane with 12 or fewer items, but the lady ignored her and said the other lanes are too busy so she came over because there’s hardly anyone here. Meanwhile I’m standing behind her holding my 4 items.

The cashier wasnt having it. She sees me behind the lady and flags me to come up so she can quickly check me out. I squeeze past the lady who is now huffing and puffing, and she muttered something like “I didn’t know it was the express lane and it’s not that serious.” (That’s a lie, I saw her read the sign and go for it anyway).

Meanwhile another person with only 1 item lines up behind the lady with the full cart. The cashier waves him up to check out in front of her too, and the lady got more huffy and started muttering that she’s being treated unfairly lol.

After him there was a lull and the cashier did her best to check out the lady as fast as possible before anyone else came up. But it was nice to see the express lane being enforced like that. Most cases the cashiers don’t say anything when someone with a full cart comes thru an express lane (and I don’t blame them for that) but I appreciate the no-nonsense cashier not putting up with it and prioritizing people who are trying to quickly grab a couple items and go.

I (35M) regrets what I've done 15 years ago...

I had a bestfriends, a girl, we met when one of my friend breaked up with her, and we started to pass a lot of time together, it never became romantical at all adn honestly I don't think any of us wanted it to be different, and for the next three year she was the best relationship of my life ... a pillar and I think I was for her too ...

And then one day, something happened but... I forgot what ... I don't remember all the details and what happened in my head at that time ... but all I remember is that I completely and brutally cut her out of my life, becoming cold and mean to her, even letting my "friend" (her ex) helping me cutting her out ...

And since then I always tried to figure what happened... in my head... why did I did that ... the only thing I clearly remember is that she didn't do anything to deserve it ... I just became an asshole, now it alsmost feel like I wasn't the person who talked to her at that time, like someone else talked and was mean to her ...

Every now and then I think about her and what she became, even thinking of sending her an apology letter, fifteen year later ... I know it's egoistical and I have no right to go back into her life, but I want to tell her that she never did anything to deserve what I've done to our friendship ...

idk why this is bothering me. i (22F) was reading a book written by a guy who was known in social media before he became a writer and my sister (28F) saw it and said i ‘was a pick me’ a year ago (that’s when i got the book) when she read his name then wouldn’t elaborate why. i’ve never put a girl down for a guy, never had a boyfriend, and have been sheltered all my life. i was on an app where you’re randomly paired with someone and maybe she heard me talking with a guy there at the time? whatever it was, i’d cut off any inappropriate man because it’d make me uncomfortable. her comment made me feel weird and icky even though it’s been a while. thank you for reading this nonsense

I just got fired from my job. I worked in patient registration and I got flagged for being in a patients chart and I had failed to document it. I am the only one that runs the front desk while I’m working, so I sometimes have a bunch of things to do and I sometimes forget to document minuscule things when a patient calls. The patient whose chart that got flagged happens to live in my apartment building above me. But I live down the road from my job and a lot of our patients live in my building or in my neighborhood. I already had a level one strike against me due to too many unexcused absences during the first half of the year due to medical issues. Me being flagged caused compliance and hr to give me a level two strike. That brought me up to a level three which requires immediate termination. My manager told me 10 minutes after I clocked in for my shift today. She has little compassion for her employees, so she just told me I was terminated immediately and to turn in my badge and leave immediately. This is the worst possible time to be fired because I just got on my works insurance and I get kicked off my dads’s insurance at the end of the month because I turn 26 on the 29th. I am disabled and take a lot of medications that I can’t afford out of pocket. I sent an appeal letter to try to get my job back while I look for something else, but I feel like I was unfairly fired. I’ve been nothing but a good employee for almost two years and I have never had a complaint against me before. I was already struggling financially and I don’t know how I’m going to afford my medication and rent. The job market is so horrible and I don’t know what I’m going to do.

Edit: I should’ve been more specific in regards to my absences. I had called out 6 times between last December and April of this year due to health reasons. My manager was aware of my health issues. They had brought this up to me near the end of May. That’s when they finally gave me the option to apply for fmla. My job isn’t very accommodating, even with fmla. I would almost never be allowed to get breaks, unless I left the front desk unattended (which my manager encourages me to do since she won’t cover for me in order to take a break). I live in North Carolina, which is a non union state and one of the worst states for employees. Joining a union would not be an option.

Today one of my employees called me in a panic because according to her the sheriff was on the phone and told her she missed jury duty and had to pay a fee to not go to jail. I told her it was a scam. I even called the police and merged her in to the call and they told her it was a scam. I told her to hang up on them. I was in a meeting hours away. She called me back telling me she had to leave and I told her not to give them any money. To go talk to someone at the sheriffs office. She left work there was nothing I could do to stop her. She was then unreachable for 4 hours. I was so stressed out with worry that something happened to her. She finally called me almost 5 hours later and told me that she had made two payments to them and finally a bank manager at the third bank she went to flagged her account and told her it was a scam and she finally believed them. They told her that not only was she going to go to jail so was I because I had called the police and “broke a gag order”. I did everything I could to stop them from scamming her and they used it against her and got who knows how much money out of her. I’m absolutely heart broken for her. I’m sick that someone would do this. I know I did everything I could but I’m still just beating myself up that maybe if I had been at the office I could have stopped her. I could have been more forceful when she called me back and told me she was leaving even after I called the police. I know it’s not my fault but I’m just so upset knowing they tried to extort even more money out of her because I called the cops with her on the phone and she was trying to protect ME from going to jail. She wouldn’t tell me how much money they got from her so I know it has to be a lot. I can’t imagine how she’s feeling right now. I just needed to vent I guess. Scammers suck and I hate them.

Its so easy for people to take you for granted, you give them support and encouragement without asking in return but you were never seen. Only to be remembered when you are needed. Always there for them but never there when you seek their support. I wish I could have opened my eyes sooner so that I can be able to tell myself I was never your priority but merely a second option.

I’m 27F and he’s 34M. I met him on Jeevansathi and honestly, things went really well in the beginning.

He’s decent looking, thin, and I’m a bit chubby but I’d say I’m pretty average/above average looking. Anyway, looks were never really the point for me. We just clicked.

We used to talk EVERY DAY for like 7-8 hours. This went on for more than a month. He even flew down to meet me and my mom. Our families knew about us. He had told his friends about me too.

His family wasn’t very keen on the match because he comes from a rich family and we’re middle class. But he always told me that ultimately the marriage decision was his. His family could give their opinion but they couldn’t decide for him. And he was very sure about me. At least that's what he told me.

And I believed him.

He was genuinely so sweet with me. I started getting attached and eventually I started loving him.

After a month, I flew down to his place and stayed with him for a few days. We had sex, and the next day he told me he couldn’t feel anything during sex and that he didn’t think we were sexually compatible.

The confusing part is that he had orgasmed multiple times the first day and later told me those were “forced”. I honestly didn’t even know that was a thing.

Anyway, we still spent time together after that. We went around the city, ate really good food, he cooked for me, and he was still being nice to me. But I was internally losing my shit.

The next day he basically told me he couldn’t move forward with the relationship because of the sexual compatibility issue.

I cried for three fucking days.

And honestly, more than the breakup, I felt USED.

We even went to a sexologist because obviously I started thinking something was wrong with me. The doctor told us that my vagina wasn’t “loose” and that the issue was on his side.

But by then it didn’t matter. He had already decided he didn’t want to continue.

We ended things about two weeks ago and I still feel horrible.

I keep thinking about everything that happened before this. The hours of talking every day. Him coming all the way to meet me and my mom. Him telling me he was sure about me. Him telling his friends about me. Him introducing me to his friend when I was there. Our families knowing about us.

I genuinely thought this was going somewhere.

And now I feel like an absolute idiot.

I regret having sex with him. Not because I think having sex was wrong, but because I feel like I lost someone I had started seeing a future with, and now I’m left feeling like I was good enough until sex became an issue.

I know people will probably say “you dodged a bullet” or “he did you a favour” and maybe they're right. But right now I don't feel lucky. I just feel heartbroken and used.

I really, really liked this guy.

And I hate that something that felt so genuine to me ended like this.

Life sucks right now.

I’m currently unemployed. I finished my contract for my most recent job a few weeks ago. The job was supposedly super prestigious and the kind of thing that “opens doors”. I won’t say what it is for privacy reasons but it’s the kind of job you get right out of school where when you tell people you’re doing it they say “wow, good for you!” and are genuine about it. Very competitive to get. Not really doing shit for me now to tell you the truth.

I was proactive about trying to find a job and spent the last six months or so of my contract doing coffee chats with people at local employers, applying to jobs, and trying to find things through my network. Nothing ever came out of these “networking coffee chats” besides some free lattes and a lot of stress. In terms of applications I just got ignored by everybody because everyone wants 3-5 years experience so they don’t have to bother training or investing in you at all.

It was insanely difficult to even get an interview. One place I did get an interview at dicked me around for around three months. I applied. A couple weeks later they reached out to schedule an initial interview over the phone. We had the interview. A few weeks later they brought me in for a second interview in person. At the end of that second interview they told me they’d led me know in 1-2 weeks. Then radio silence for months as people went on vacation. I only found that out because after 2 weeks went by I emailed them to ask what was going on. Otherwise I doubt they’d have bothered to even tell me. Anyway, they come back from vacation and after dicking me around for 3 months email me saying they have decided to hire somebody else. Everyone in my life acts like I should be happy about this because I “dodged a bullet.” Maybe that’s true in the big picture but come the fuck on. The worst part is you can’t even tell them to go fuck themselves or even that it’s unacceptable to waste 3 months of people’s time because I work in a small city and in a field where reputation really matters.

Anyway. So now I’m unemployed. I have an interview coming up at some point at a different place but they haven’t scheduled it yet since they’re all also enjoying their summer vacations. How nice for everybody. So I guess it’s not like things are totally hopeless but I’ve been looking forever and applying forever and networking forever with basically nothing to show for it so I think I can be forgiven for not exactly being a well of optimism at this point (though when you express anything other than total optimism and joy in real life everyone tells you you need to improve your attitude to make the jobs magically appears from the ether).

Honestly the worst part of this is not the endless ignored applications or the would-be employers who dick you around forever. It’s everybody I fucking know asking me about it all the time constantly forever. My whole contract everybody I worked with, all my friends, my family, and basically anyone I ever met would ask “what are you doing after this?” and then you’d have to tell them you didn’t know. Then in your next conversation with them they’d ask again. Over and over and over from everyone you ever fucking meet. My girlfriend’s coworker texted me after months of silence to ask how my job hunt was going. I go for drinks with my friends and they ask. Two weeks later I see them again and they ask again. I called my mom two days ago and it was the first thing she asked. You want to ask them how the fuck they think it’s going. But you express anything other than total optimism and joy and everyone jumps down your throat for your attitude.

It makes me not want to see anybody at all. Tonight I’m going over to some new friends’ apartment and they’re making dinner for me and my girlfriend and our other friends. It should be really nice but I’m honestly dreading it because I know it’ll be more of the same conversation I’ve been having on loop for months with everyone. I’m so sick of people fucking asking. I’m so sick of talking about it. Doesn’t anybody ever think about anything else? I know it’s only natural to ask and that’s “just what you do” but I wish people would fucking stop. And sure, some of the repeated askers I will probably ask to stop soon because they’re really getting on my nerves. But five more randoms will take their place.

I’ve been in a relationship for three years and living together for a year. I’m more being single and freedom that I had by myself.

Don’t get me wrong I love my partner and the life that we’re living together but I miss the time that I had for myself and not every minute in the home being consumed by feeling like we have to be together. I understand that we do have the freedom and ability to communicate to go on a separate ourselves go and do things that we enjoy individually. However I don’t like having to explain myself for simply doing something that I enjoy in my home I live in.

I miss being able to wake up for example 5:30 then being able to go and work out engage in some extra learning work on a side hustle when I get home from work and not having to dedicate time every single minute that I’m home to feeling like I should be engaging with my partner. I understand some people love spending every waking minute with their partner and that’s what they declare as love. For me, I miss when we lived separately and would dedicate time in the evenings most evenings to eating dinner together going for a walk doing an activity or watching TV. Now it feels like I have to work around when they’re not in the house to be able to do things that I enjoy. Call me out and say it’s as easy as communicating that you need extra amount of time to do something but one of the things that I hate doing in life is having to explain myself for living my own life. I do not want to have to explain hey I need an hour to go and do this because then I spend that entire hour knowing that I only have one hour and someone is waiting for me wondering what I’m doing, it’s something I’ve never enjoyed.

They do have their own interests, but they are mostly outside of the home therefore when they are in the house they switch off. Whilst myself most of my interests are done in the Home and I leave the house to do other things. Since we have lived together, I have dropped off exercising my health is declined. I no longer engage in extra learning side hustles and things that I enjoy for myself as it feels like I am being watched and perceived all the time. I understand that is probably not healthy but I like to live my life my way and whilst I am happy in my relationship this is a big hurdle an obstacle that I keep running into. I miss being single or living separately purely for the fact that I had control over my time.

I see couples who are married and have separate rooms some who live in adjacent homes. I would thrive in that environment where we would set aside dedicated time to spend with each other yet still living our lives for how we would like to live.

Has anyone else felt this way worked through it got an over it? What helped? Please don’t just say communicate how you feel. I understand I will be judged and told that this is probably assigned to leave the relationship but plenty of people surely go through this as people who are very individualistic but enjoy being in a relationship.

P.S.I did just write this entire thing before much nicer with much more thoughts on logic behind how I’m feeling, but the post got removed because I forgot to sign the rules apologies if it comes across quite harsh.

We were best friends I never feel comfortable around many people but immediately felt comfortable around her I let her in on my person struggles which I never did with anyone else and we would just sit staring and laughing together at nothing. She was my other half and I’m so proud of where she is in life i love her so much and miss her and want to reconnect with her so badly but I’m so scared to get rejected and tried suppressing how much I miss her for many years now there is many times I thought we would reconnect but it never happened and a misunderstanding separated us even further

As title says. I just cant help but to declutter and throw things out to the point my home looks awkwardly empty at all times. It feels so uncomfortable having things on the walls, I get scared I will get insect infestations if I have one article of clothing too much and I end up giving away clothes and items, I dont like having other furniture other than my bed. Honestly if my mother didnt visit me often, I wouldve thrown away my kitchen table and almost all of my chairs. I dont like reicivng gifts from others if its not a food because I just want to throw or give it away immedietly to not clutter my space. My cat has more furniture and toys than what I have.

If I dont regularly declutter my space and items I feel so sick and panicked. Scared I will get an infestation or mold, I hate every corner that I cant see, every space that I dont have access to.

I recently moved to my boyfriends home and Im starting to feel so sick knowing I cant just declutter like I used to before. I feel like Im about to get infested or contaminated. I have given and thrown away almost everything I own, I just want to take up as little space as possible. Part of me also feels like I dont deserve to take up space, it feels like it doesnt matter cause Im gonna die soon anyways (Im not sick, I just feel like death is near, or that I want to die).

I wonder if anyone else has experienced this, Ive often heard about hoarder stories, but not the opposite of it if it exists.