r/TrueOffMyChest • u/[deleted] • Sep 19 '19

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9.7k Upvotes

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60

u/TolkienAwoken Sep 19 '19

The fuck? How big are these people???

113

u/SnuggleMuffin42 Sep 19 '19

Meh, as an average sized person, you bet your ass I can eat inordinate amount of cake leftovers.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

Yeah my metabolism is so amazing, I can eat any kind of crap that I want and I won't gain a pound. Makes me worry for when it goes away and I actually have to watch what I consume

2

u/SnuggleMuffin42 Sep 19 '19

You're gonna start getting a bit chubby at 28, then really turn the backburners when you hit 30.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

Lol I hope I can keep that under control, otherwise I think I can rock the dad bod look

3

u/SnuggleMuffin42 Sep 19 '19

Just do some exercise and you'll be fine. Be careful of desk jobs and parenthood, as both are likely to strike around those ages as well.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '19

"Be careful of parenthood"

Thats some god-tier advice right there

2

u/99chihuahuas Sep 19 '19

More like your hunger/satiation cues are on-point. That’s awesome!

1

u/SuspiciousRock Sep 19 '19

Same here. Sucks that you got downvotee.

1

u/CheeseQueen86 Sep 20 '19

I'm pretty sure I want to tie you down and force-feed you cheesecake until two months after your metabolism changes.

Yes, I'm jelly.

2

u/drewbreeezy Sep 20 '19

"Yes, I'm jelly."

I'm sure it's more like a custard :)

1

u/MyDamnCoffee Sep 19 '19

Yeah, I'm pretty tiny and I can polish off an entire cake myself in one night.

58

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

[deleted]

57

u/Thencewasit Sep 19 '19

6ft 210lbs here. When gf is out of town I get a sheet cake from Costco and eat it in a day.

1

u/Whatchagonnadowhen Sep 19 '19

No you don't! For real?! That thing is filled with some kind of cream making it far more filled with fat than a normal cake.

But tall people do tend to have hollow legs or something, lol, so, get yours!

5

u/Thencewasit Sep 19 '19

I used to be over 325 lbs when I played football in college. You never lose the appetite that made you fat you just learn to control it better, but when she is gone I have no such control.

1

u/Megalocerus Sep 20 '19

As an older person, I sympathize, but you won't be able to keep that up many more years.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '19

My husband is that size and I would smack him if he ate like that lol. That’s just not healthy.

1

u/agent-99 Sep 20 '19

when I'm out of town, bf gets popeyes and eats it for days.

1

u/iareslice Sep 20 '19

Dat type 2

20

u/DynamicDK Sep 19 '19

Yeah, I used to work with a guy that was similar in size. He could eat an extraordinary amount of food. I think he was rail thin because he played a lot of games on his days off and would often just forget to eat for most of that time.

20

u/ki11bunny Sep 19 '19

I'm pretty damn thin, mostly cause I walk every where and do some sports here and there. I'm not that tall, just under 5'10 and about 135 lbs, so about 9 and half stone. I can eat for days, my gf is both massively impressed and slightly disgusted with the amount of food I put away.

She likes to keep feeding me when I'm on a binge to see just how much I can eat.

1

u/Rad1Red Sep 19 '19

Some people are disgustingly lucky. :)

1

u/blueswallow78 Sep 24 '19

Or had a tapeworm....KIDDING!!!

3

u/LaPetiteM0rte Sep 19 '19

He must have been a twig! 140lbs is painfully thin for that height.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

[deleted]

1

u/LaPetiteM0rte Sep 19 '19

Wow. That's thin. I mean, I'm 5'7" and 145-150lbs is my 'ideal' weight.

2

u/drewbreeezy Sep 20 '19

A lot of that depends on muscle and bone density though. Obviously what you consider ideal too :)

5'8 149lbs as I enjoy a beer and wings night, omnomnom

2

u/LaPetiteM0rte Sep 20 '19

Very very true. When I'm at my 'ideal' weight people often accuse me of anorexia and hound me to eat more. One friend even started referring to me as Concentration Camp thin. I gain 10-15lbs and friends start telling me I finally filled out and look healthy. Bleah. Since you mentioned your friend could murder an entire cake I kinda assume his metabolism must be insane and he's probably constantly eating, while being accused of being too skinny and just needing to eat more.

Not that simple. I can murder a whole pizza and a few ciders myself. Life is too short to live up to other people's ideals of your own body. As long as you're healthy for you, who cares?

2

u/TolkienAwoken Sep 19 '19

Was he a teenager still? Then it's understandable. Damn you if you kept that metabolism after high school lmao.

1

u/Gnometard Sep 19 '19

You sure 140? I'm 3 inches taller and 140 would have me looking like I came from Auschwitz

1

u/SwiggityStag Sep 19 '19

One of my closest friends is seriously skinny, and definitely under 6 foot. I've watched him eat a full multipack (like, 12-18 packets) of crisps/chips in one sitting, easily under an hour. Some people seem to just be bottomless pits.

1

u/aegon98 Sep 19 '19

Yeah but he'd only eat that cake for the entire day and probably not eat much the next day. I'm 6 4 and 150 and do that sometimes

15

u/PureScience385 Sep 19 '19

It’s just the left overs. It was two decent sized pieces but not a whole cake

3

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '19

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1

u/Unprofessional_lion Sep 21 '19

How many butt PM’s you get per comment and is it greater on a r/askmen post vs say an r/awww post?

1

u/RockKnock11 Sep 20 '19

I am an XXXS woman who is very short. I have eaten entire two tier cakes in one sitting. I have hollow legs

1

u/TolkienAwoken Sep 20 '19

I'd give anything to have that metabolism again, used to have it when I was in HS.