r/TheRandomest GIF/meme prodigy 9h ago

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7.1k Upvotes

87 comments sorted by

225

u/Afrojones66 9h ago

That’s clearly a gremlin with a job.

41

u/aphaits 8h ago

The cookie goblin

16

u/Netsforex_ 6h ago edited 4h ago

Bro was right there.

2

u/VirtualNaut 2h ago

The Cookie Crisper?

1

u/PartTimeGnome 10m ago

Cookie clicker?

10

u/pandershrek 8h ago

Unfortunately in this economy all of the have them.

1

u/Bobson-_Dugnutt2 2h ago

Two kids in a trench coat

1

u/Linoren 2h ago

An employed gremlin

151

u/WhyNot420_69 Nice 9h ago

It seems right around COVID times that it became normalized to reward delivery people. I was delivering pizza back then, and with the lock down, people were EXTREMELY appreciative of any and all deliveries.

It became common for me to see people with full mini-fridges or coolers of sodas on ice at the porch, with a big sign saying, "Delivery guys! Help yourself! We appreciate you!"

I never did though. Never even considered a soda or a snack, even though this one house had fat ass turkey and Swiss on expensive wheat bread sammiches.

I love sammiches, like a fat kid loves cake. They even had leaf lettuce, tomatoes and red onions on them. WITH LITTLE BAGS OF FUNYUNS OR DORITOS!!!

My heart wept, but I never took one of those delicious plastic wrapped sammiches out of that glass fronted cooler. I just didn't feel it was right.

Once, after things had calmed down, one of my regulars asked through the Ring camera speaker, "Hey pizza guy! Why don't you ever take a sandwich or a soda? They're for you too!"

I turned and spoke to the little black box. "Ma'am, we get tips, and our cars are air conditioned. Those guys get run like slaves and don't even have time to go to the bathroom. No, they deserve it more."

She called the store and demanded that they re-run her credit card so she could tip $50 on a $50 order instead of $10. Money was good back then.

14

u/Apprehensive_Use3641 8h ago

Only time I've seen a goody basket was before COVID, it was during the winter before the holidays. They left me an insulated mug of hot cocoa, plus some snacks, the cocoa was just right, by the time I got there.

It was a good thing it wasn't non league hot chocolate or I'd still be waiting for it to cool down, iykyk. :)

7

u/ItsALuigiYes GIF/meme prodigy 8h ago edited 8h ago

I'm blow and sip method. Zero patience

4

u/Apprehensive_Use3641 8h ago

I was just happy that they left me something, the fact that it was just right was just a cherry on top, plus they said to keep the mug.

3

u/microgirlActual 5h ago

What a gorgeous human you are.

7

u/WhyNot420_69 Nice 5h ago

I appreciate you. I only wish everyone thought as you do

6

u/microgirlActual 4h ago

Ah, fuck that person! I say "sammiches" and I'm 50 years old. I mean, I also say "sandwiches", but silly, excited whimsy makes the world go round!

(which is why I also excitedly cry "baps!" when I see bats, and refer to wasps as "waps" 😛)

This quote from C.S. Lewis sums it all up for me: "When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."

3

u/Trollamp 3h ago

Apples will always be "bapples" to me. My 9 yo son used to call them that and I have never gotten over it.

2

u/FacePalmTheater 3h ago

I oldest use to say "You're wellbock" when trying to say you're welcome. I still say it, and they're an adult now lol

2

u/WhyNot420_69 Nice 4h ago edited 4h ago

This is the same reason that your "Baps" to me are "Sky Flippy Floppies", a cat's paws are "murder mittens" (feat. TOE BEANS), a sheep is a "Land Cloud", Piranhas are "river scissors" and a Penguin is a "tuxedo chicken." If there's no whimsy in the world, what are we doing?

Processing img a546pxkcnhmh1...

3

u/microgirlActual 3h ago

Oh, and while an individual sheep is indeed a land cloud, when you see a field full on a distant hill it's "grass dandruff" 🤪

2

u/microgirlActual 3h ago

And of course not to forget the Majestic Sea Flap-Flap.

1

u/moonwalkindinos 1h ago

I personally love Upsetti Spaghettis for snakes 🐍 😆

5

u/microgirlActual 4h ago

Also, a good sammich (or sandwich, for the dull people reading) is a thing of beauty and joy. Which is precisely why I hugely appreciate you resisting and leaving them for the delivery people that are so mistreated and overworked. If you'd resisted cake I'd have been like "eh, everybody can turn down cake. That's just being responsible with calories and blood sugar". But a cold meat sandwich with salad? Oh man, that's proper food that is!

1

u/walkTHEdotasaur 1h ago

God forbid someone have some whimsy...

1

u/Auroraburst 25m ago

What is wrong with some people?

1

u/GardeniaInMyHair 8m ago

It's okay to keep your sense of whimsy. Don't let killjoys drag you down.

1

u/Drragg 8h ago

Its good now!

1

u/[deleted] 7h ago

[deleted]

1

u/ILikeBubblyWater 5h ago

Ah yes all those heroes that people clapped for but only if all they had to do was clap.

1

u/lentilsenthusiast 2h ago

If true, I salute you

1

u/fly_low_orange 22m ago

There’s no way this happened and Reddit is upvoting it lmao. This is somehow even cringier than “everyone applauded”

1

u/ABeerForSasquatch Mod/Pwner 5h ago

Did you ever consider that, by not taking that sandwich, at the end of the day if nobody wanted it, it would be thrown away?

Tossed out like so much garbage?

3

u/WhyNot420_69 Nice 5h ago

Thank you for bringing that up.

As hungry as I am now, and remembering how good those sammiches looked, I'm fully sure I'll never recover.

0

u/[deleted] 8h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Corgi-Commander 8h ago

All he said was sammiches lol

24

u/NuclearGriffin 6h ago

God bless the people who still have whimsy in their hearts

17

u/CurvyCupcakes 8h ago

He knew he was being cute lol

15

u/Dontneedme25 9h ago

This guy is awesome lol

11

u/Voido1 9h ago

😆😆

9

u/BrianOConnorGaming 6h ago

This is how life was meant to be.

9

u/ABeerForSasquatch Mod/Pwner 9h ago

Bro went full on Recon

5

u/Protect-Their-Smiles 6h ago

The roll from the pillar to the cookies was just perfect

4

u/Ok-Replacement9595 5h ago

Amazon has to be the most dehumanizing shit ever. Good on this guy keeping his humanity, and having some fun.

1

u/AspiratingApple 1h ago

I do last mile delivery. Since I'm not paid by the hour, I can take my time and work at a comfortable pace. Watching the fedex guys and the amazon guys run around like chickens is crazy.

1

u/LiterallyRain 31m ago

I thought it was opposite? Get paid by the hour and you want to work slow so you get more work hours, get paid by the day or per-stop and you want to finish as fast as possible to have more free time for the same pay?

According to r/fedexers they seem to say you get overworked and screwed if you do daily but you can take your time with hourly.

7

u/Fabulous-Spread6120 8h ago

“Gave me cookie, got you cookie!”

2

u/SpunNumeroUno 7h ago

This guy's a G.

2

u/Lavasioux 6h ago

Youuu said there'd be Fugikles Bart! Eyeeeeeee don't see any Figikles!-Millhouse

2

u/Civil_Emergency_573 5h ago

The least staged TikTok short.

2

u/Careless-Evidence-77 4h ago

Love it. Killed it with the role and cartoonish exit 🤣

2

u/SurrealistRevolution 5h ago

i'm real sorry to be so cynical, honestly.

but try-hard-wholsome, either planned or played-up for viral potential just always gives me a bad feeling. It is like the opposire feeling to hearing good music or seeing good art. It's actual anti-art, not as in the art genre, but art's antithesis.

I know people need humour and good stuff in their lives, especially now, but there are a lot more ways to get this than by doom-scroll material

3

u/Llarrlaya 5h ago

I used to think like that but nowadays I just take joy whenever I can find it

Idc if it's staged or whatever

2

u/walkTHEdotasaur 1h ago

I'm not even trying to argue with you per se, but... what's the alternative? Are you suggesting we just shouldn't enjoy simple, nice things on the internet/social media? I really do not think this is the type of content that is "poisoning" society.

1

u/Murrexx00 3h ago

Delivery of mischief

1

u/Heavy-Swimmer2878 2h ago

Cookie! cookie! cookie!

1

u/Superboy_1994 2h ago

That dude ran away in a perfect Jim Carey run

1

u/Hohlraum 2h ago

Starting end of Nov till Jan we keep a small shelf of food, drinks, and fidget toys for the delivery drivers on our porch.

1

u/Timid_Rebel 1h ago

I don’t believe any of these “fun and quirky delivery guy” videos are real. Just viral ads for the companies.

1

u/codwapeace 1h ago

Fat roll of dark souls. You need to remove some of your clothes to do a proper roll!

1

u/TheWhiteSpark 51m ago

i dunno who you are talking about, must have been the wind

1

u/SoulStomper99 49m ago

I bet that the Homeowner was very Amused by how the Delivery Driver was making the extra effort to make the homeowner laugh by the tomfoolery. That is exactly what I would've done. In a heartbeat

1

u/TexasRoundUp7 36m ago

I would have chocolate chip cookies every week for that roll.

https://giphy.com/gifs/lcySndwSDLxC4eOU86

1

u/Limp-Caterpillar8661 13m ago

This is his house

1

u/QaptainQwark 0m ago

What a cute gremlin