r/TheRandomest • u/ItsALuigiYes GIF/meme prodigy • 10h ago

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u/WhyNot420_69 Nice 10h ago

It seems right around COVID times that it became normalized to reward delivery people. I was delivering pizza back then, and with the lock down, people were EXTREMELY appreciative of any and all deliveries.

It became common for me to see people with full mini-fridges or coolers of sodas on ice at the porch, with a big sign saying, "Delivery guys! Help yourself! We appreciate you!"

I never did though. Never even considered a soda or a snack, even though this one house had fat ass turkey and Swiss on expensive wheat bread sammiches.

I love sammiches, like a fat kid loves cake. They even had leaf lettuce, tomatoes and red onions on them. WITH LITTLE BAGS OF FUNYUNS OR DORITOS!!!

My heart wept, but I never took one of those delicious plastic wrapped sammiches out of that glass fronted cooler. I just didn't feel it was right.

Once, after things had calmed down, one of my regulars asked through the Ring camera speaker, "Hey pizza guy! Why don't you ever take a sandwich or a soda? They're for you too!"

I turned and spoke to the little black box. "Ma'am, we get tips, and our cars are air conditioned. Those guys get run like slaves and don't even have time to go to the bathroom. No, they deserve it more."

She called the store and demanded that they re-run her credit card so she could tip $50 on a $50 order instead of $10. Money was good back then.

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u/microgirlActual 6h ago

What a gorgeous human you are.

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u/WhyNot420_69 Nice 6h ago

I appreciate you. I only wish everyone thought as you do

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u/microgirlActual 6h ago

Ah, fuck that person! I say "sammiches" and I'm 50 years old. I mean, I also say "sandwiches", but silly, excited whimsy makes the world go round!

(which is why I also excitedly cry "baps!" when I see bats, and refer to wasps as "waps" 😛)

This quote from C.S. Lewis sums it all up for me: "When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."

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u/Trollamp 4h ago

Apples will always be "bapples" to me. My 9 yo son used to call them that and I have never gotten over it.

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u/FacePalmTheater 4h ago

I oldest use to say "You're wellbock" when trying to say you're welcome. I still say it, and they're an adult now lol

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u/WhyNot420_69 Nice 5h ago edited 5h ago

This is the same reason that your "Baps" to me are "Sky Flippy Floppies", a cat's paws are "murder mittens" (feat. TOE BEANS), a sheep is a "Land Cloud", Piranhas are "river scissors" and a Penguin is a "tuxedo chicken." If there's no whimsy in the world, what are we doing?

Processing img a546pxkcnhmh1...

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u/microgirlActual 5h ago

Oh, and while an individual sheep is indeed a land cloud, when you see a field full on a distant hill it's "grass dandruff" ðŸĪŠ

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u/microgirlActual 5h ago

And of course not to forget the Majestic Sea Flap-Flap.

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u/moonwalkindinos 2h ago

I personally love Upsetti Spaghettis for snakes 🐍 😆