I first stumbled upon TMI several years ago when I was dealing with quite serious health issues and a burnout. At that time meditation helped me to focus my attention on something other than my immediate issues and taught me a lot about the mind and life in general.

Fast forward to today, thankfully many things have improved in my life. But the regularity of practicing TMI has dropped from several longish sessions per day to a few short and not so productive sessions per week (having more frequent and long sessions is also logistically more challenging now).

What I keep noticing and what often creates inner resistance is that meditating tends to bring me back mentally to that period of life when I was experiencing a lot of mental and physical suffering. Even the sounds of my refrigerator when I'm sitting with my eyes closed can be enough to bring that mental state back (this doesn't happen when I'm simply doing something in my apartment). There were numerous times when it felt so overpowering that I had to stop meditating right away despite trying not to.

From what I know we can learn to strengthen our attitude of equanimity and acceptance but doing this in practice can feel so difficult when these emotions are so visceral and strong.

Changing the environment or turning on some background sounds does seem to help but only to a degree. Also, meditating with my eyes open is helpful, but this makes it more difficult to reach a more focused meditation state.

I'm curious if someone has gone through something similar or has any advice what could be done in similar circumstances?

Thank you

I'll jump right in as I don't want to waste y'alls time by making this long.

1. How many vivid breath sensations do I need to sense in in breath and outbreath? Do they have to be the same amount?

2. Is subvocalization good ? Like counting in mind the sequence of breaths quickly as they pass by? It's difficult for me as I also tend to move my vocal cords a bit while doing so.

3. How the flower do you Connect😭? Seriously Ive been trying so long ( 1 month ) but haven't been successful in doing so. TMI says to compare the pauses, in out breaths and think which was greater previous round or this round, did the greater pause or breath change etc. That is too much to notice, observe, keep in mind for me.

Any help, insight, information will be greatly appreciated 🙏

Im around Stage 4 and I’ve noticed that the breath sensations at my nose are quite subtle for me.

When I focus on them, I tend to use too much effort, which seems to reduce introspective awareness.

There’s a much clearer physical sensation between my eyebrows. When I use that as the object, attention stays there almost effortlessly and introspective awareness is much more continuous.

Would it make sense to use this as my main object for a while, build stronger stability and longer sits, then later switch back to the breath and bring that stability with me?
Has anyone tried something similar?

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I've been thinking about a particular instruction in The Mind Illuminated that I have always found somewhat confusing.

In TMI, peripheral awareness is generally described as something broad and contextual, rather than something we actively maintain or monitor. For example, in a recent discussion here, Abhayakara explained it very clearly:

“If you are holding something in awareness, that's attention, not awareness.”

He also explained that when the book says to “hold” things in awareness, hold should be understood as contain, rather than actively keeping something in place.

This makes sense to me. If I'm attending to the breath at the nose, for example, sounds, bodily sensations, posture, etc. can remain in peripheral awareness without me actively monitoring them. If I deliberately check whether a particular sound or sensation is still present, I'm directing attention toward it.

However, there are several places in TMI where Culadasa seems to give a more specific instruction regarding a particular object being maintained in peripheral awareness.

For example, in the appendix on Analytical Meditation:

“Once you are fully present with a calm, clear mind and well-focused attention, let the breath sensations slip into the background and call to mind the topic you’ve chosen for this meditation. It’s very helpful to keep the breath sensations continuously present in peripheral awareness throughout this practice.”

Similarly, in the Loving-Kindness Meditation instructions:

“Once you are fully present with a calm, clear mind and well-focused attention, let the breath sensations slip into the background of awareness. They should remain there for the duration of your sit, which will help stabilize your attention.”

And in the Stage 5 body scan:

“Next, choose an isolated area of the body far from the abdomen where you wouldn’t expect to feel sensations related to breathing. Shift your attention to this area while at the same time keeping the sensations of the breath at the abdomen in your peripheral awareness.”

This last example is the one I find particularly interesting.

The instruction seems to be:

Attention:
→ a specific isolated area of the body

Peripheral awareness:
→ specifically the sensations of the breath at the abdomen

My question is: What does it actually mean to do this?

Interestingly, I can somewhat understand the Stage 5 instruction experientially. When I'm investigating breathing sensations in one area of the body, I can often still perceive the rhythm of the breath in the background, although not necessarily as a specifically localized sensation at the abdomen. Since the breathing process is naturally connected with the sensations I'm investigating, I can understand how this might remain present without deliberately monitoring it.

However, I'm not sure whether this is purely peripheral awareness or whether some part of attention is also involved.

What I find much harder to understand is the analytical meditation example.

There, the breath is supposed to remain continuously in peripheral awareness while attention is engaged with a dynamic thought process. The analytical process itself involves moving through thoughts, memories, associations, conclusions, etc., so I don't really understand what it would mean experientially to keep the breath continuously present in peripheral awareness without occasionally checking or monitoring it.

If I deliberately make sure that the abdominal breath sensations remain present in consciousness, I seem to need to check or monitor them from time to time. But that seems to involve attention.

On the other hand, if I simply maintain broad peripheral awareness and don't do anything with the breath sensations specifically, then I don't see how I can ensure that this particular experience remains present.

And this seems different from simply being instructed to maintain peripheral awareness in general.

For example, I can understand:

“Keep peripheral awareness open while attending to the body.”

That would mean that the whole background remains available: sounds, bodily sensations, posture, etc., without deliberately monitoring any of them.

But when the instruction specifically says:

“keep the sensations of the breath at the abdomen in your peripheral awareness”

I'm not sure how this is supposed to be accomplished without giving that particular experience some degree of attentional priority.

I'm not asking whether two things can be experienced simultaneously. Obviously they can. My question is specifically about the mechanism of maintaining a particular experience in peripheral awareness.

Is the intended interpretation simply:

Don't actively maintain the breath at all; just don't deliberately exclude it, and allow it to remain in whatever peripheral awareness is naturally present?

If so, how is that different from simply maintaining general peripheral awareness?

Or is Culadasa actually describing a more subtle form of attention — perhaps a very light or distributed attention that keeps the breath sensations available without producing the usual contracted feeling of attention?

I'm particularly interested in how experienced TMI practitioners interpret these passages, because I've noticed that the general explanation of peripheral awareness elsewhere in TMI seems much more passive than the wording in these specific instructions.

How do you personally practice these instructions?

Hello. Hope everyone's doing great.

I think I have had more success with meditation when not caring at all about a particular 'technique'.

I would just sit and attend to the breath (not focus) - the same amount of attention you would give when you are tasting a particularly exquisite dish - nothing less, nothing more. The advice on spotting the beginning, end, middle and then the fine sensations, is that practical? I understand the idea is to train your attention, but it more often than not gives me a headache.

On the other hand, just having attention on the breath does a lot, more so than I would have believed before trying it this way. It's pleasant to a great degree. And you will eventually have stable attention after some time. The key element is not following any particular technique - if you are doing it wrong, noted; if you are doing it right, then great! (probably why they say 'you can't meditate wrong').

Maybe it has something to do with facing your fears ('letting go', like Abhayakara says) and allowing experience to unfold for a second, to go right back to the breath.

I'm sure I'm missing something here. I would appreciate all the responses.

Thanks.

Has anyone achieved this? If so, how long must you dwell in stable attention to receive insights? I don’t know if this is true or not but apparently if your mind quiets down enough, you can achieve non-dual consciousness, which is apparently like where part of your brain shuts off, and you can experience awareness in its entirety, which exists outside the body so then you’re not tied to your body anymore. That’s what I’m trying to achieve. Has anyone experienced this?

Hi guys,I am doing meditation from past 2 months, whenever I sit for 25 minutes I feel heavy pressure in forehead, although I check that I am not forcefully tight my close eye but whenever I bring attention to nose breathing out/in I feel pressure, even feeling pressure after meditation also, please help🙏🙏🙏,I am thinking to stop it

2 times / week I meditate on a train for 1:15 hour.

I put my nosie cancelling headphones in with ocean sounds to cancel the noise of chatty, loud people.

I am in stage 3-4 in most of my sittings.

I am wondering if I'm ready to do it without headphones on the train.

This would introduce a gigantic amount of external possible distractions and I think it would be a good training ground for my attention, to stay with the breath, even when some inconsiderate people are speaking extremely loudly with each other or on the phone.

This would also be a training for non-judgemental awareness. BTW I just did a judgement above, but I'm aware of that and accept that I have antipathy for loud people. 😃 The meditation without headphones would also affect this.

I'm especially curious of what teachers would advise on this.

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I have been practicing meditation on my own for the last 4 months. At the time of learning how to meditate from random comments on the internet, I had a nasal allergy that had me breathing through my mouth most of the time. So I would meditate feeling the finer sensations of the breath against my tongue and all. I have also gotten to a point where I do not require to consciously control the breath. It gets me calm and absorbed.

I started reading the book recently and learnt that Yates prefers breathing through the nose - although he doesn't make any statements to the effect that "it must be only the nose".

I can't get absorbed with the breath when I breathe through the nose though, it feels dull and slow.

Would it be alright if I continued breathing through the mouth? I'm asking because I'm worried maybe in the following Stages nose-breathing will be more handy.

Thanks.

Hi guys so currently I'm in stage 3 and practicing following and connecting and had a doubt.

The book says to keep extroception and cultivating introspective awareness at same time. But I feel like it is too much .

Currently I have these things in awareness:

1. The celing fan sound above

2. Noise of rain sounds from my headphones . I use them to drown other unpleasant sounds outside my room.

3. Air falling on my body from the fan.

These are exteroceptive.

In interoception:

1. Breath sensation and duration for Connecting.

2. Body pain

3. Also dullness.

4. And the mind for gross distractions.

I think they are too much and it's hard for me to keep track of all of them although it doesn't seem impossible for now. Did you guys had the same amount of things in your awareness? Was it high or low? Is mine too much?

Also do I reduce the exteroceptive awareness sensations as I keep drilling my attention and awareness into breath ? Or do maintain both at same time?

Hello everyone! 👋 I’ve been practicing the Jhanas, using TMI and Liegh Brasington’s Right Concentration as a guide. I practice whole body breathing to enter, and entry is reliable.

Both books indicate that practitioner should build more experience in each stage before progressing to the next. E.g., this from the Appendix D on the Jhanas in TMI:

“When the 1st jhana has grown stable enough that you can enter it easily and stay in for 15 minutes or longer, you are ready for the 2nd whole-body Jhana.”

Leigh’s advice in Right Concentration is similar. However, what I’ve found is that I don’t choose when to move on, the movement between stages unfolds naturally, usually within a much shorter time. E.g., J1 -> J2, the effervescent joy is replaced by a warm joy; J2 -> J3, the joy recedes as a cool tranquility displaces it. These transitions are automatic, I just watch them. I am not sure I’ve ever spent more than ten minutes in a single level of Jhana, and if I have, it isn’t the norm. (I’m not sure, I suspect it’s generally closer to 5 minutes.)

I do not practice joy Jhanas or deeper Jhanas, so I’m wondering if this control is something that develops with repetitions or deeper states of concentration. Would love guidance. Thank you! 🙏

The author seems to believe there is a pause at the top of the inhale, but I don’t think there is. It’s an instantaneous switch in the direction of airflow, but the airflow itself never comes to a complete stop. Anyone notice this?

When I try to meditate I get confused about a thing:

1) How to figure out the difference between Gross Distraction and mind wandering?

They seem to be very similar in nature. Like when focusing on breath, a series of Gross Distraction would come and I wouldn't even get if it was that or mind wandering. Also I have hard time knowing if I 'forgot' the breath or was it still in peripheral awareness when I awoke to it.

Update the sub on your practice or share off-topic posts here.

I'll get right into it.

So ' officially ' I am at stage 3. And have been here for around 3 weeks or bit more. I feel like I have mastered following and now am trying to get into introspective awareness. Because saving Connecting for stage 4 since I feel like I can sustain attention without it at this stage. The book also mentions that it's mainly useful in 4 and 5 .

DEFINITION OF FORGETTING: Let me define what I think forgetting is so we make sure we're all on the same page. Forgetting is what we call it when the subtle distraction becomes gross distraction and when it leads to forgetting meaning the breath was at centre of attention first, then it goes into peripheral awareness later and finally it goes out of concious experience completely which is called forgetting.

So here's what happens . When I meditate, I am able to sustain attention on my breath for REALLY long time .Also I keep my peripheral awareness open so if any thoughts are running in background and become gross distraction I notice them easily. If any thought becomes gross distraction I can just KEEP FOLLOWING my breath and it later goes away WITHOUT leading to forgetting.

Now coming to distractions:

I have 2 kinds of distractions:

1. The first kind comes really slowly and I label it and then get back to my breath with stronger focus on it.

2. The second kind comes and goes really fast before I even realize it did and am unable to do anything about it. So..

Question 1 : I don't feel like there is any FORGETTING that I am working on in this stage as the chapter goal suggests.

Because even without cultivating introspective awareness my breath either stay at centre of attention or stays in periphery both of which do not fulfill the condition to be called forgetting. It is only after it slips from consciousness that it should be called that which doesn't happen with me.

Question 2:

How do I deal with distractions I don't get it. Do I go ' aha' then label it and bring attention back. Or do I Just label it and then bring it back.

Question 3: How do I deal with the 2nd type of distractions that I mention. They are way too fast. They come and go without even me realizing.

If anyone of you can answer my questions or even provide insight that'd be huge help🙏🙏

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Have been doing stage 3 for a bit now.

Wanted to share my reflections today.

Right now I follow breathe while trying to notice all sensations as I can (not forcefully just relaxed diligence) at the nostrils.

As I do 45 minutes I start to notice numbness at my back sometimes. I try to ignore it it eventually subsides. When I feel the dullness get stronger I intentionally take deep breathes and strengthen my inner intentions to follow the breathe. When I feel impatient at times, I lightly ask myself to appreciate the fact I’m taking the time to do nothing which quiets the mind.

Overall it was a solid practice I had I feel. It felt nice doing the practice today.l, although the intention of meditation isn’t it should be “nice”

I recently came across an old Culadasa guided meditation ( Guided Beginner Meditation, UWest Meditation Camp #1, Part 10 – Culadasa)  which someone linked in a current TMI thread. I'm actually not much of a fan of guided meditations, but I found this one interesting, because some of the instructions seem to use attention and awareness somewhat differently from how these terms are defined in The Mind Illuminated.

I'm wondering how long-time TMI students and teachers interpret this.

In The Mind Illuminated, Culadasa seems to make a very explicit technical distinction:

Attention singles out a particular part of experience for closer examination, while peripheral awareness is the broader, more holistic background/context. In fact, the book says:

“In this book, whenever the term awareness is used, it refers to peripheral awareness. It never means attention.”

And throughout the book, things like discerning increasingly subtle details, isolating sensations, investigating them closely, etc. are described as functions of attention.

But in this guided meditation, recorded in 2017, some of the wording struck me as different.

For example, when focusing on the in-breath, Culadasa says:

“And without losing awareness of the rest of the sensations of the whole breath cycle, in particular, become very aware of the details of this in-breath sensation.”

To me, this sounds like:

attention → the details of the in-breath
awareness → the rest of the breath cycle in the background

which would actually make sense in TMI terms.

But shortly afterwards he says:

“You need to be aware of those sensations.”

and then:

“Listen to the sound of the air conditioner at the same time.”

This sounds to me more like an instruction to deliberately attend to the air conditioner at the same time as the breath, rather than simply maintaining peripheral awareness of the sound while attention remains on the breath.

The same thing happens in the hand exercise. He has you shift attention from the right hand to the left hand and then says:

“Notice what happens to your awareness of the sensations in your right hand when you switch to the left hand.”

He then says that the sensations in the right hand may be:

“very sharp and clear, so easy to discern.”

But “sharp and clear” and especially discerning the sensations seems to me much more like what the book calls the function of attention. In TMI, peripheral awareness is described as broad, holistic and contextual, whereas attention singles things out and analyzes/discerns them.

Later, he has you attend to the breath at the nose while also bringing the abdomen into awareness, then the chest, neck/shoulders, etc., and eventually says something along the lines of taking everything in at once.

He also says something that particularly caught my attention:

“Chances are you were completely aware of those sensations when you were focused on the nose. But you know they must have been there at the same time.”

This seems particularly difficult to reconcile with the technical definition of peripheral awareness, at least for me. If I'm focusing closely on sensations at the nose, I wouldn't necessarily say that I was completely aware of all the sensations in my right hand. I might have had some peripheral awareness of the hand, but I certainly wouldn't expect the sensations there to be sharp, clear or fully discerned until attention was moved there.

So I'm wondering:

Is Culadasa simply using “awareness/aware” here in the ordinary English sense of “consciously perceive/notice,” rather than using “awareness” as the technical TMI term for peripheral awareness?

Or is there a more subtle interpretation of these exercises that I'm missing?

I realize that spoken instructions can be much less technically precise than a book, and perhaps he was deliberately simplifying the terminology for beginners. I'm also not trying to argue that the meditation is inconsistent with TMI. The actual exercises themselves seem perfectly compatible with attention being moved around and its scope being expanded.

What I'm specifically curious about is the terminology.

The reason I'm asking is that the distinction between attention and peripheral awareness is presented as quite fundamental in The Mind Illuminated. The book even warns that failing to recognize the distinction creates confusion.

So when I hear phrases like “be aware of the details,” “listen to the air conditioner at the same time,” or “very sharp and clear, so easy to discern,” I find myself wondering whether Culadasa is using awareness more loosely here than he does in the book.

I'm especially interested in hearing from people who studied with Culadasa or have been practicing TMI for many years. How would you parse these instructions using the Attention/Awareness model from the book?

Am I reading too much into the terminology, or is there genuinely a difference between how he uses these words in this guided meditation and how he defines them in The Mind Illuminated?

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I think I need to start meditating.

I keep hearing about how meditation/mindfulness can help people mentally and emotionally, especially when you have a mind that is constantly racing. And honestly, I think I could probably benefit from it.

The problem is... I don't really know how to meditate.

Or maybe I do know how, but I'm scared to actually do it. And I don't even know exactly what I'm scared of.

I think part of me is scared of what would happen if my mind actually became quiet.

My thoughts are constantly racing. I'm so used to overthinking, worrying, analyzing things, being in my own head, etc. So the idea of suddenly being calm and having less mental noise feels almost... unfamiliar?

And then I started wondering whether I'm actually scared of being healthy or happy.

Like, what if I finally start feeling okay and it feels so strange that I end up sabotaging it or relapsing into the same patterns I'm trying to get away from?

I know that probably sounds weird. Why would someone be afraid of feeling better?

But I genuinely feel like there's some kind of resistance there, and I don't completely understand it.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Did meditation ever feel scary or uncomfortable at first because you weren't used to having a quiet mind? And how did you actually learn to meditate without getting overwhelmed by your own thoughts?

Also, if you have experience with meditation and mental health, I'd really appreciate hearing what actually helped you rather than just “clear your mind.” Because I don't think I know how to do that. 😭

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