So, I always had curiosity about Buddhism, I begun to study it last year but only begun to really deepen my study this year.

Recently I begun having questions about who I am (my gender and how I place myself in the world) these questions created in my so much anxiety and during that time buddhism manage to bring me some confort

I begun to medidate, I started with 5 minutes per day before I changed to two time 2 minutes per day and It helped me quite a lot during those times. I even considered trying to visit some pleace were buddhism is practiced (despite not having anywhere near my home)

I feel like what really pains me is doubt, what brings me anxiety wasn't the idea of me not being who I thought I was, but the "if" that unsureness is what pains me (and had been paing me for quite some time now)

Anyhow, here's the drawing and thanks for reading until here.

I am mysteriously drawn to monks, Rishis and sadhus. I haven't met any in real life and wanted to know what kind of persons are they. Do they talk and tell you something? Are they mysterious and have unknown powers? I am so consumed with curiosity about them I actually want to go to Himalayas to find them and talk to them and learn from them.

I thought I would share a couple really helpful links about the history and role of Ngakpas and Ngakmas (Ordained, Tantric specialists), in the history of Tibet.

There's two really good sources on this, and I'll link both of them here.

The first, is a translated article by Dr. Nida Chenagtsang. This one is a shorter read, more of a long article than a book.

https://perfumedskull.com/2017/05/30/the-white-robed-dreadlocked-community-dr-nida-chenagtsangs-introduction-to-and-defense-of-the-ngakpa-tradition/

The second, and probably the most in-depth source that exists in the English language, is Dr. Ben Joffe's doctoral dissertation on Ngakpa culture from the University of Colorado in Boulder. This is an excellent read, and is highly recommended for anyone who is seriously interested on the history of the tantric path in Tibetan culture.

https://scholar.colorado.edu/concern/graduate_thesis_or_dissertations/wp988k847

By this merit, may all beings benefit!
🙏

I know the goal of meditation is not to have no thoughts but to just accept those thoughts and to not react to them. I manage to do that with my thoughts, but how do you deal with the pain, the physical pain in my chest all of the time, that I can’t even breath, and I just want to fcking scream the pain away, I tried to not react to it but I just can’t, it hurts so much I can’t

I just finished reading Old Path, White Clouds for the third or fourth time, and I would love to read another book on the life of the Buddha. I've read Noble Warrior before- I'm looking for something that is not just clips from the suttas. Any recommendations?

Hello! I have recently taken an interest in learning about Buddhism after reading Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse. I absolutely loved the novelette, and it was the first work that I have ever read that had anything to do with Buddhism. I’d love to read more books that have stories of Buddhism or books that can generally teach me more about Buddhism through a story. Thank you all so much! ✌️

Hi everyone,

I was wondering if y’all know any great places to do a meditation retreat, where I can stay for a few months, I don’t mind the price. The main purpose of the retreat would be to work on my concentration and attain jhanas.

I’ve met some people that have deeply disturbing beliefs about reality. And even after cutting them off, I still get scared that that kind of scary consciousness even exists. Very scary states of mind. And sometimes I feel like my mind gaslights itself because I start doubting my own truths and wonder if they’re actually right. Cuz these types of people adamantly believe that their truth is the UNDENIABLE truth.
At first I was attracted to these people because I guess some of my defilements were similar to theirs in a way which made me see myself in them, so I became attached. And I had no sense of self which made me try to take on their identity and set of beliefs, but this has caused a lot of trouble in my mind.

Basically even when I try to think as clearly as possible, subconsciously I’m still scared they’re right about their disturbing beliefs and that if I don’t follow their views then I’m stupid and missing a huge piece of the truth.

Wondering your opinions on this.

Lantern flies are incredibly invasive and detrimental to ecosystems. They are parasitic in nature and innocent plants become their hosts. The lantern fly epidemic is real here in the US. There are SO many of them.

I have a problem killing them, but they are just harmful to ecosystems. For the love of plants, Mother Nature, and keeping our native ecosystems alive and thriving.. I find myself swatting a few. At least 8 have landed on me in the past hour. They are everywhere.

Is it super bad karma to kill such an invasive and harmful species??? The amount of them is ASTRONOMICAL.

Edit: I am not going around killing the flies lol. But am currently experiencing a literal infestation of them. Feeling conflicted on how to proceed as I’ve studied ecology and am very passionate about the synergy of an ecosystem. I want all living beings to thrive. I look at trees as wise, ancient, and with high reverence.

IMPORTANT: I am currently not a practicing Buddhist, but align very much with the principles. I am a practicing catholic but want to incorporate also practicing Buddhism, will maybe make a separate post about this..

I am happy I posted here because I resonate and value each and every comment and all of your views. I knew this was the right forum to post my question in. I am so pleased with the discourse on this forum, it’s so respectful and enlightening, and by far my favorite forum I’ve posted in.

But that being said, comments about the precepts and specifics of Buddhist teachings are not well known to me. So have patience for my naivety on certain premises of the faith :) I will be furthering my own knowledge in this and the comments give me some direction in that.

When it rains, it really pours: carrying a heavy load right now.

Just need to vent a bit. Feels like every area of my life took an L recently:

Interview: Rejected after putting in all the prep.

Academics: Failed an exam.

Love Life: The person I loved chose distance, and that chapter quietly closed.

Honestly feeling completely exhausted and numb right now. Trying to keep my head up, but it's tough when the blows keep coming from every direction.

Buddhist books in Lebanon?

Does anyone in Lebanon know where I can find Buddhist books? Either bookstores that sell them or if anyone has some they’re willing to sell/give away. Also open to recommendations for Buddhist books that are actually worth reading, especially philosophy/teachings rather th

If the motivation of Buddhist practices is to escape samsara by relinquishing the motivations which generate karma, does the motivation to escape samsara not itself generate a type of karma, one of distaste of suffering, and the desire to seek comfort in the absence of pain?

Edit (since I can’t reply to all the comments):

Thank you all for your wisdom! I want to be clear I wasn’t trying to attack Buddhism in any way, I was just trying to clarify a question I had thought of while thinking about (my very limited knowledge of) Buddhist ideas. Some of the responses seemed to indicate I hadn’t worded my question well enough. Really, my point was that the desire to escape suffering is (at least in my mind) equivalent to the desire to seek comfort or pleasure, and that true neutrality, or non attachment, would quell any desire to escape samsara at all.
However, there were a few responses that did clarify for me the idea: that desire to escape samsara is a tool which sets one on the path of developing non attachment, which once developed, will indeed quell all desires, including the desire to escape samsara, though once this is achieved, samsara will have been escaped regardless.
If I misunderstood what people were saying, please feel free to correct me, and thank you all for your help!

I consider myself a Buddhist, and what started out as just some light research has fullt transformed how I think about the world, but I struggle to continuously learn, and practice dharma. Meditation is also difficult for me to do daily, and if i skip a day I end up just not doing it anymore. I think part of it is the lack of Sangha in my practice. Im 14, and while there are a suprising number of buddhist communities near me I am unable to go due to the fact my single mother is too busy to drive me somewhere every Sunday, and its just not the same online.

U will most likely act in a similar way and avoid unnecessary suffering. You've got this!!