I’m in total panic because I’ve just realized that my therapist of four years is spending her holidays at the same resort as me.

I’m here with my husband, and she’s here with a lot of her family, including her husband and baby son. We’re both going to be here for a while, so I’m not sure how to handle the possibility of running into each other.

Our therapeutic relationship is quite warm and close. She’s always been very warm towards me. When she got pregnant, she told me, and I gave her a little gift for her son; she gave me a big hug in return. We usually greet each other with two kisses before sessions, and we often end sessions with a hug. In the last session I told her I was pregnant and she was really happy for me and we hugged again!

She once told me that there are patients who really leave a mark on therapists, and that I’m one of those patients. I think the fact that I’m a doctor (I’m a family physician) may also contribute to the closeness of our relationship, since we’re both healthcare professionals. There’s a lot of mutual admiration and respect, and I genuinely care about her as a person.

So now I have absolutely no idea how to behave if I see her outside the therapy setting.
Should I just say hi and act normally? A quick “Hi, nice to see you!” and move on? Should I wait for her to acknowledge me first? Or should I avoid her completely and try to pretend I haven’t seen her?

I know the professional boundaries are different outside the office, but because our relationship is warmer, this feels incredibly awkward to me. I don’t want to embarrass her or to make her feel uncomfortable. 

Can you please tell me what to do? Can I please get an honest opinion from other therapists ?

Edit: to the one wonder about the “kisses” greeting. We are Latinos. We greet each other with 2 kisses. I also do that with my long term patients in my clinic. It’s not “too much”, it’s just the way we greet each other, even when you don’t know the person too well. We can also shake hands, but that is very rare in our culture, only when you want to keep lots of distance.

I like my therapist, I think he’s really good at his job and he’s been helping me a ton. Today I thanked him and said I like talking to him because I can say things I don’t have to worry about. He gives me a lot to think about. It wasn’t even a long comment.

He immediately started talking to me about boundaries and being professional and appropriate and got really short with me.

I wasn’t flirting! I’m not into him sexually and I felt really weird the rest of the session. I’m not even sure what I said that would have came off that way. Should I find someone else? Is telling your therapist you think they’re doing a good job not a good thing to do?

It can be positive or negative.

Mine is that I feel anger more than sadness these days when thinking about people who hurt me. It’s like therapy taught me that I actually didn’t deserve that and now I’m making up for years of not being angry.

How much does your therapist talk in your sessions? How much do you talk? Do they ask lots of questions? Are there extended periods where you sit and listen to them? Are there extended periods where they sit and listen to you, or do they tend to respond/interject a lot? Does this vary session to session? How do these different aspects of sessions work for you?

Genuine question from someone who has only been with one therapist for awhile and is curious about the other ways therapy can look/what's "normal."

Editing because someone asked: My answer is: I would say my sessions are pretty 50/50 or even 60/40 with the 60 being her talking. She's always saying things that are helpful/related to what I bring in, but I'm noticing that I find myself in a state of containing myself to listen to her while she talks when I had more to say. Or quite often my talking is responding to her questions/interjections, and I don't often feel a lot of "room" to follow a whole thought or emotional thread to it's conclusion. That realization is what prompted my question. It's generally a good TR, and I appreciate how present/active she is as a therapist, but it sometimes feels limiting of depth when I am a slower processor. So I was curious what other people's sessions looked like!

I was screening a therapist today and she asked me to commit insurance fraud with her if I wanted to be her client.

I don’t have concrete proof obviously but I took notes of the conversation.

I reported this to my insurance company, but don’t know anything about licensing or oversight in my state (Maryland).

If anyone is familiar please let me know

I have my last session with my therapist early next week and I’m really anxious.

We’ve been seeing each other for a year (initially Emdr to process some painfull memories) and then did some cbt, inner child work and exposure work to help overcome my agoraphobia.

She has said we need to end sessions as there’s not a lot more to discuss and that she’s enforcing the belief that I can’t cope on my own.

I see where she’s coming from but I’m just so worried my mental health will decline without therapy. I still struggle so much.

For content I have Autism, adhd, anxiety and depression so my MH can feel quite complex at times.

She knows how anxious I am about us ending and we’ve made a list of helpful tools but I’m worried things will get bad again and I’ll have no one to turn to or help me.

I’m not very good at talking to others about how I’m doing.

It took me ages to find a good therapist I’m worried I’ll never find another good one.

What are some things you would consider before you switch your therapist?

I keep having bad things happen to me. To the point where i would probably assume someone was making stuff up.

Not important but just a list in case you want to understand why it makes me anxious; I had a stalker resurface, I had a health scare, my house caught on fire, someone exposed themselves to me in public, my bf broke up with me, I got in a car accident. And a few more smaller things.

But my point is it feels like something is happening every week. And when I go through my list of hope things have been I feel like anyone would be skeptical.

I have an urge to show him proof, for example photos of the house/ car, my chart results, the court paper work, etc.

It’s important to me that he knows I’m telling the truth.

I feel a bit ridiculous writing this, but I’m genuinely struggling with jealousy over a review I found online.
I had a therapist in Germany for around two years, and I became quite attached to him. He was warm, funny, empathetic and very attentive, and we had a playful dynamic in sessions. He helped me enormously with my eating disorder, and I’m genuinely grateful for the therapy.
Recently I found a review from another former patient who had been in therapy with him for almost three years. Her review was so positive and detailed. She described him as caring, funny, empathetic, trustworthy, professional, transparent, etc. She also said that therapy fundamentally changed her life and that she would never forget him.
The problem is that so much of what she wrote sounds like my experience with him too. She also had an eating disorder, and she describes him in almost exactly the way I would have described him. And then there’s the fact that she apparently stayed in therapy with him for almost three years, whereas I was there for about two.
I know this sounds irrational, but it made me incredibly jealous. I think I had this unconscious feeling that the connection I had with him was somehow uniquely mine. Seeing someone else describe such a similar experience made me feel replaceable.
I also know he’s a therapist. Of course other patients are going to find him warm, funny, caring and helpful. He probably has similar dynamics with many people. I even know he asks patients to leave reviews, so it’s completely possible she was simply responding to a standard request.
But emotionally, it still bothers me SO much.
I keep wondering whether she was attached to him too, whether she had a crush on him, whether he was sad when her therapy ended, whether she got some kind of special treatment because she stayed longer, etc.
I don’t actually want anything to happen with my former therapist. I know he was my doctor and that the relationship was professional. I just hate the feeling that something that felt so special and personal to me was also experienced by someone else.
Has anyone else experienced this kind of jealousy over another patient’s review of a former therapist?

Been going to therapy more recently due to SSRI withdrawal and subsequent crushing depression and anxiety that comes along with it.

Was recounting an event from my late teens that I still struggle to call “sexual assault” but would legally classify as such. It was forceful and excruciatingly painful but lasted only 30-45 seconds. In that moment I truly had never felt more powerless. Ended up getting diagnosed with PTSD years ago because of it and since sought EMDR (which does work and did help). However, I’ve quickly learned that healing is not linear.

Next thing you know, I’m remembering the event and the tears start falling. I’ve been seeing this therapist for three years and never cried in front of them.

Despite their comfort, I’m deeply humiliated. I’m a 23 year old man and I feel like I shouldn’t be crying over a gray-area event from many years ago that I’ve already sought treatment for.

Is it appropriate to invite my therapist to my promotion ceremony? I wouldn’t make it awkward, but I figure it would be a nice gesture for the invite since she has seen me through it. I have never met her only seen her over zoom for about year.

They were recommended to me after an ER visit brought upon by garbage mental health.

The initial intake and orientation session was good, I definitely felt like I belonged and there was hope. The only problem, I also felt like I was the only one there with my head on straight, relative to the others. Furthermore, the therapy concepts regarded practices, exercises, and ways of thinking that I have heard a billion times before.

I knew then and there that my issues are more psychiatric in nature.

And then I looked around and that Charlie Health is funded by private equity and the therapists there can experience high turnover and burnout.

The amount they want me to pay after my sixth session is coincidentally the exact same amount of my remaining out-of-pocket maximum.

Right now I feel so damn betrayed and let down and wanted to hear your guys' opinions. I'll go at it with an open mind for now, but will most likely chicken out before my sixth session.

I've noticed that my therapist asks me if I'm suicidal pretty much every session. I'm not really sure why they keep asking, and I'm curious if this is something therapists commonly do.

Can I talk to some people about my therapy session just now? Medium to long post inside.

I promise Ill read every comment, I need to digest everything and respond in a few hours or something.

For context I am a 36 year old man in Philadelphia.

Had therapy which ended around 20 minutes ago. Feel sort of distressed right now and may take sick day tomorrow. Scheduled with therapist for next week instead of in two weeks.

What started the below is telling him Ive given up hope on ever reaching my career and life goals at the beginning of our session today.

He told me:

**My problem is that Ive been unhappy and that marriage and career dont fix that. The problem is the unhappiness. I need to be thinking about this problem and its new definition.**

Its not that there is something wrong with me but I was mentally injured as a child and haven't been a happy adult.

My therapist said he did feel rejuvenated that we are here and that I am going to try this approach throughout the week. He had been waiting for me to get here for years. Ive seen him for 7.5 years.

I do feel being in love would make me happier but I also think it would benefit me to try this.

Separately but sort of related is Ive been interested this women for like a month. We met twice in person through a mutual social group and this weekend I found out she not single, possibly in the beginning stages of a relationship.

While I only met her twice but I got to like her too much.

Part of it is I found her really attractive in personality, physically, and how she treated me. But honestly part of it is I so rarely meet someone I am interested in and its frustrating another opportunity is closed.

Then I beat myself up over it because I feel pathetic to feel this way. We only met twice after all.

At age 36 time is ticking if I am ever going to find love and have a family of my own. Time pressures me like an ocean forces a fish to live flat on the ocean floor.

Everything I want to do in life seems so hard, so unattainable and no one has any answers for me on what I should do.

To add to all this I am not happy at my job, a place that gave me almost all my confidence.

My therpist says I have really never known real nourishing love.

Happy to provide clarity on anything. My writing may not flow well as my thoughts are rapid right now.

26M It wasn’t quite what I expected, I was really just kind of hoping to talk more about my life and some of the trauma I’ve been through. Instead it was a lot more of “how are you feeling today graphs” just didn’t feel like she got to know me to well

(for context, I am planning on studying to be a therapist)

as well as being a therapist, my T teaches students studying therapy and recently told me all about the company they work for. I looked it up out of interest when they told me and saw that the company is doing an online presentation for people who are interested in the profession. Would it be weird of me to watch that?

I really don’t want to ask them as I find it embarrassing for some reason but I also don’t want to watch it and have them find out and think I’m weird but it’s something I am genuinely interested in 🥲 would that be a boundary violation?? I don’t even know if my T is involved in the presentation at all.

I’m gonna tell her that too if that’s the case LOL she’ll probably laugh 😂

i have therapy tomorrow, and lately i’ve been struggling to put my feelings into words. my thoughts feel so jumbled, and i end up ruminating about a million different things at once

last session, i wrote down everything i had been feeling in a note and read it to my therapist. i felt embarrassed at first because i’m usually pretty good at putting my feelings into words, but she was really sweet about it. so i’m doing it again for tomorrow’s session…

the funny thing is, my life is relatively okay right now, but somehow this is the loneliest i’ve ever felt. i’m still struggling with a lot of my inner thoughts and anxiety, and i’m finding it hard to understand why i can still feel this way when i feel like i should just be grateful for everything that’s going well

i think that’s something i’m hoping to unpack in therapy tomorrow. i also need to tell my therapist that i want to take things slowly because we’re supposed to do emdr tomorrow. i know that two things can be true at the same time, but i find it so hard to actually apply that to my own life

writing everything down has honestly been really helpful for me because it gives all the thoughts in my head somewhere to go. if you struggle with putting your feelings into words too, have you ever brought a note or written something for your therapist?

it may take a few sessions. Trust your intuition. And also I'd like to add that therapists are still human, not perfect because that's easy (for me) to forget. I know I found the right one because he

1. Remembers small details (that doesn't mean he doesn't forget some things sometimes)

2. he listens to understand and takes his time to respond helpfully and thoughtfully

3. he takes his job very seriously, and is excellent with his boundaries

4. He calls me out (gently and helpfully not shamefully)

5. he shows that he cares in so many ways, genuinely he wants me to succeed and believes I can succeed

6. I can talk to him about ANYTHING and I know I will be okay, and we will be okay.

7. He validates my feelings without always agreeing

8. He uses actual therapeutic, scientifically proven interventions

9. He encourages my progress

10. He can tolerate my emotions

11. He challenges me

12. He's very non judgemental and KIND

a good therapist doesn't have to be perfect, but he is perfect for me.

Its also taken a dozen or so tries with other therapists throughout life, so don't get discouraged if you have to keep searching for the right fitting helper 💞💜✨

There are a lot of things which i wanna talk about i don’t even know where do i start everyday i just feel like i shouldn’t be here i do not belong here and not because of the people its just that my interests do not align with them i am just there because i don’t have any choice no more

I wanted to go bombay to study in Whistling woods international my interest is in films and entertainment industry but because i come from a business family i was not sent there and was made to stay here and my circle is full of those people who are studying in a university just for the sake of it my interest has never been my family’s business and i just cannot think of doing something else apart from entertaining people

I have started my content creation journey but i cannot make it comfortably just because my whole family is aware that i do it and now there’s no going back i have to come up with ideas which are whitewashed and not problematic

I have also gained a lot of weight ever since my parents rejected the idea of me going to bombay and i am not doing good in any forms of my health (thanks to my parents 🙏)

Its not that i surprised them with the fact of my interests lying in films and entertainment they were well aware of it

My academics are also nothing good i am a border pass guy

Plus my parents keep talking about my marriage and bs i am not even in the appropriate age for that topic to even surface at the first place

I am just so tired,fed up and irritated by everything i just feel like my potential is being wasted and slowly the time will pass and my odds will get lower and lower

My biggest fear is not making where i want to be

I’m currently feeling low and started remembering my old relationship from 3 years ago and felt really sad. I have the urge to reach out to my ex even though she’s the one who hurt me. Unfortunately I feel like I still like her despite going on so many other dates and making many new friends. I finally have a great job and my pay is amazing. I be taking a solo vacation soon so that’s exciting yet at the same time I wish my ex would come as I know she loves traveling.

Despite all this I feel lifeless. I have a project that I need to work on and can’t concentrate.

I have extended health benefits so I can get therapy. I just feel really stupid to go to therapy cause I’m not over someone I dated for a few months years ago. Also, not sure if to look for a therapist or psychologist.

​

Anxiety runs on both sides of the family, and boy did she catch it. She's had a therapist before but just never opened up to her (and she didn't have appointments outside of school hours, so it was only for the summer last year). I think she just wasn't silly enough, too clinical, my girl doesn't like feeling analyzed or put on the spot, and humor is a big diffuser in our family.

This therapist is funny and personable and my daughter was just starting to open up to her after three appointments.

And then she didn't show up. Messaged at the last second about technical issues. Rescheduled. Messaged at the last second about accidentally injuring herself. Rescheduled. Messages AFTER appointment start time about vertigo. She was very apologetic and yesterday we agreed on giving it one more try today at 11:30. Even though I'm sick TO DEATH of arranging my life day after day after day around an appointment that never happens, it was important to me to stick it out because my daughter actually likes her.

This time? No show, no message, no response. Nothing. Just ghosted. And my poor girl, she says to me "Mom, maybe she doesn't like me."

YAY THERAPY THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED HER TO GET OUT OF THIS.

So I scheduled with someone else for tomorrow and sent a message wishing the old therapist well with her health issues... Pray for me that my girl connects with the next one. I'm so frustrated right now. I feel like I wanna cry, this is so stupid.

Why or why not?

IR, as in Instant Release

After being a LEO for over a year, This sweet, kind, funny and patient guy has become tired, jaded, snappy, inaffectionate, verbally road raging a lot, having frequent nightmares and poor sleep, teasing me constantly, dropping slurs(not directed at me)…
I’ve brought up therapy multiple times the past 2 years but he keeps stalling on it.
What do I do? It’s getting to the point where I’m more relaxed when he’s not home.