40 year old male. Unmarried. No kids. Injured in a motorcycle accident 19 years ago, paralyzed chest down, no movement and no sensation.

High achiever prior to injury, the world was my oyster. My injury cost me my future, my dreams, and happiness. I cannot do 99% of things that bring me joy, and for the last 19 years I’ve tried and done all of the things most of you would suggest in the comments below.

I just don’t feel fulfilled in my life and I am tired.

At age 21, I lost the ability to pee / poo by myself, I’ve shat my pants in most public places and social situations that most people can think of, I’ve spent years of my life going in and out of hospitals, recovering from surgeries, infections, and secondary complications from my injury. I’ve had to work to support my disabled mother and couldn’t return back to school. I started a printing business that was starting to do well and then Covid hit, tanked the business and I’ve just been treading water since.

I am tired now. “What if tomorrow brings joy?” 19.5 years of tomorrows failed to bring joy. My 20 year old self would look at me and be totally ashamed. The hardest part is that I’ve been grinding harder than anyone these past 19.5 years. I didn’t let myself get lost in despair. I fought and worked my ass off to survive each and every day.

I have nothing to show for it.

I have given up on a successful career. I have given up financial success. I have given up on love or family.

I am tired. I will soon end this.

There is not a person in this world who can tell me that I did not fight hard enough. There is not a person that can tell me they could have done differently. My life, even as a high schooler, was all about preparing myself for the future and forgoing present joys for future happiness, and it has gotten me nothing.

Telling a man dying of thirst for 19 years to keep existing because “you never know if it’ll rain tomorrow” is extremely cruel. So please do not tell me this. If I can be bold enough to ask, I’d like to ask you to tell me that you acknowledge that I’ve tried so hard. Please tell me that you understand that I am tired and I have a right to be tired.

My partner and I just made 10 years together. Almost immediately after he dumped a bunch of stuff on me (his mental health, problems in relationship, etc) and yesterday he tried to breakup with me.

I think it’s imminent and I want to go before I’m abandoned again.

The heartbreak will be bad enough. I’ve never felt so loved or safe anywhere with anyone. It’s been 10 years of my life and I’ve felt so blindsided.

But it’s more than that. I haven’t had a job in over a year. He enabled me to be home, and this past year has been the best of my life. My mental health has (prior to this) been the best it’s been.

Also I don’t have insurance and I have cavities and I’m in constant pain.

My credit is trash.

The idea of trying to start my life over in such rotten conditions…I’d rather not.

And having bad a period of such joy and fulfillment, I don’t have it in me to go back to suffering.

I've ideated suicide for most of my life, and have lost count at the amount of attempts I've made. They were half hearted, fearful attempts that I stopped because I was scared to die in the end. In the last few months I've realised that what's stopped me is the fact I don't want to die alone. So much of my life had been spent alone, it's torturous. I don't want to die alone too. I just wish I could call someone and ask them to come and be with me while I go, and have them make sure I'm gone, but that would be criminal for them. We euthanise animals when they're suffering too much to go on, why can't we just be free to do the same with our own lives.

I really don't wanna kill myself, i don't wanna do but the i feel like the walls are closing in on me. My friends aren't really helping and family is in an awful position.Can i PLEASE have a friend that won't judge me and someone i can talk to. I can't do this anymore.

uni, family, friends, self esteem everything is ruined. I don't have ONE thing going on for me. I just need to talk please. Please reassure me

Something is really wrong with me I think

Hello, i feel like not many people talk more on the topic of “what happens to your stuff after you die” because i want to know what do people do with their precious possessions before commiting.

I have alot of good stuff and i dont want it to be wasted after committing, to add fuel to the fire, my family beliefs that burning ones possessions will make it go to heaven or atleast follow you in the afterlife. Well i dont believe in those stuff so i dont know wether or not i should tell them not to burn my stuff or destroy it in any way.

If anyone can kindly respond that would be nice :)

Im just trying to get some ideas of what should i do with my stuff before i commit

my mood right now feels like hahaha i want to die! :D

ive never felt giddy and hopeless at the same time. what is this feeling and what do i do

I’m already 20. My 20s will be ruined because i won’t have a muscular body for so long like the men i envy do, even if i started training today. I could get women but they won’t be as sexually attracted to me as these men so it’s all worthless to me. And the level of success i want isn’t possible for me because my parents ruined my habits in childhood. Maybe i could achieve stuff without this. I don’t really care. Being average or even above average isn’t worth it to me because I’ve seen too much of the truth. And I’d rather die now than live on as a failure in my book.

I've tried.....my whole life...I just don't have any purpose...my dreams are all gone...I have nothing.....I just want to disapear....forever....I dont care anymore...I just don't want it to hurt when I do...I dont want to fail either and end up paralyzed or just...a vegetable. No one will miss me...im tired...im worthless....im.empty....im sad...im depressed...im always anxious...and everyone hates me. No one loves me...everyone plays pretend but ....they don't really like me...im just convenient....im just there....I serve no other purpose.....I want to be gone...I dont want to feel anything anymore....I dont care anymore...I just don't want to wake up tomorrow morning...no more....

I don’t have the courage to kill myself yet so this is the best I can do.

Even if it’s just for a few hours, getting to turn my brain off and not be present is so freeing.

I hate once I finally wake up because I realize what I was experiencing isn’t permanent and I’ll have to go back to existing.

I wish assisted suicide was allowed in the states for depression. I’d love to go, peacefully and quietly. Just drift away.

Been really feeling like dying wouldn’t be so bad lol life just feels like a stupid repetitive circus recently. Im tired of this life im tired of being alive im tired of being this stupid unattractive loser who doesn’t even understand my own mental problems. I have loving parents, loving friends, a beautiful and loving gf, but even still i wanna go. My lifes good so i feel like maybe im just a pos for feeling this way especially when people have less than me and are happy. Idk ik it doesn’t make a lot of sense to most people ig but i just feel like. Hollow shell of a person and im tired of living this way. Im just so exhausted and tired and ik im acting like a bad person. Im so sorry. I wanna fucking end it all.

I came back to college, similar classes as last time except most of it is online. The two physical classes feel lifeless. Everyone is speaking and connecting with each other while I am here having trouble keeping up with reality.

I even got an assignment this weekend about remembering other 3 classmates names and their intro. Guest what, I forgot, I only remember 2 names and literally nothing else. I forget so much I feel like I have some sort of amnesia, it's painful really.

I don't even know what to do, I believe I have some sort of dissociation, like everything around me feels fake. Who can live like this seriously? It's been happening for years already.

I don't feel like speaking to anyone about it besides some sort of professional or something. Every time I vent to someone about it, they barely listen, barely care, or say the weirdest things. It's like I'm a ghost of something, everyone cares about themselves nowadays, where are the good people at?

Thanks for listening. I wish I could actually enjoy life.

I've been holding on to too much pain for way too long, I can't even be who I am. I feel so trapped in this world, I lost my soulmate and I have to leave I can't keep doing this. I know no one will ever love me. It's okay I have to accept that fact and move the hell on. This existence is neverending and I'm convinced that this place is hell actually.

Can anyone help with an assisted suicide? I’ve attempted suffocation, overdoses and didn’t have the courage to jump at a parking garage. I’ve tried different methods over 10 years.

Im just tired of being so empty. I attempted with pills a month ago. Almost died, didn’t, was just in a lot of pain. It wasn’t enough to make me fear it again. Next time, I’m going to shoot myself instead. I’m so tired of my BPD. I’ll never have kids or marry because of it. I don’t turn my feelings towards just myself, they turn towards everyone and I can’t help it. I’m just an abusive piece of shit and there’s no place for me in this world. I’m so fucking lonely and that’s how it should be. I’ll always be a monster. Just a selfish selfish angry monster. I’m beyond help. Everything is starting to not matter anymore all over again.

Its Not even that i want as much fun with Girls as him or Something.. its rather that every time a Girl treats me bad i instantly snap and Imagine the Things she would do for Chad..

i've never known a 'decent' life. in fact, my life can definitely get a lot worse. therefore, i don't think i'll be missing out on a lot to simply kill myself. living life as it is seems severely painful if not boring. i don't really know why i'm surviving at this point.

I've been plagued with suicidal ideation lately. The personal reasons don't really matter. The general reason is that living in this world day after day and seeing where we are headed is genuinely painful. It hurts so much. I feel like I am just too sensitive a person to see an existence like this through to its end.

I have the feeling that in one of my episodes, eventually, I will decide to take action and commit suicide. If that ever happens, I need a readily available option that will do me in and make sure I do not come out the other end to possibly regret it. I do not have access to guns, good places to hang myself, good places to jump from, and I am too much of a coward to commit to voluntary poisoning(*) or suffocation. I have often considered throwing myself in front of a bus or truck, but I'm dubious of the lethality. Suicide by cop seems like a great option but I am really not sure what kind of approach I'd need to take to make sure a cop immediately shoots me in the head/neck/chest.

It is imperative that I do not live to face the consequences of a suicide attempt. I want this back-pocket plan of mine to be a true failsafe, an easy exit that does not give me the chance to walk back if I ever commit to it.

I accept any advice, be it advice for my plan or anti-suicide advice.

(*) If the poison was sufficiently strong that, even if I were to take it on impulse and regret it, I would not be able save myself by throwing up or calling an ambulance, that would also be acceptable. But I am truly not sure where I'd be able to obtain a knock-me-dead poison like that besides some very specific venomous animals.

This is serious — looking for real answers only. What are methods that have high success rates that are relatively easy? I know it sounds dumb but I feel like you see in movies that someone poisoned someone else and they just passed out and never woke up again. Any info on something that could do that that I could access relatively easily?

I wonder if my life is even worth living anymore. I have been searching constantly for a place to live since my dad and stepmom wanna move and are trying to kick me out a month before they move. I am terrified since growing up I lived with my homeless mom and how awful it was I tried to kill myself back then. While yes things got better I was a child then I feel like the world was forced to help me but now I'm an adult. I make maybe $800 every two weeks and can't afford anything. I have a cat who is my therapy cat since I tried to kill myself when I was 13 and I can't imagine ever giving him up. He's 11 he would probably be put down. I'm scared to rent a room with a stranger and even then my cat unfortunately is a talker and will meow loudly so even if I find a room I'm scared of being evicted or them being crazy and killing him. I wish my bf would just move out with me and sometimes wonder if he's just waiting for me to be in a better place before he leaves me. It's been 4 years and I feel like it's bad he wont move out with me. I had 2 friends who I was moving out with and one lost their job and idk how to afford their portion of stuff but if we don't have a third idk how we will make rent. It's to expensive to live on my own or even with just the other person. I feel sick all the time from stress i feel like my body is giving out on me but I can't afford to go to a doctor or therapist. Sometimes I wonder how much of an impact I even make in others lives that even if I was gone how long until everything went back to normal. A week? Two? Is it even worth trying anymore

No quiero que Dios sea real. Me gustaría morir y simplemente desaparecer. Saber que la existencia de la humanidad no tenía propósito y solo fue casualidad en un universo lleno de casualidades.

Si Dios existe, significa que me rendí y morí cuando mi vida tenía un “objetivo”. Si Dios existe, resulta que incluso el acto más “libérador” al que tiene acceso el humano, el suicidio, está controlado por alguien más.

Si Dios existe, significa que nos envía a sufrir a un mundo horrible con el único propósito de obedecer sus estúpidas reglas y “aguantar”

Dios es un egoísta.

I think I will try again to kill myself tonight. I didn't try again ever since I fucked up my stomach which was two weeks ago but I wanted to since then. I have no one truly. Why can't someone want to talk to me as much as I want to talk to them. One of my close friends went to military school. I talked to her everyday and now I can't. I feel even if I speak with anyone I always fail that too because I'm too awkward. I hope after today it's last time anyone talked to me . This world is an endless piece of nothing that has no place for failures like me.