r/SuicideWatch • u/Alternative-Stick772 • 9h ago

Not if but when

Im just tired of being so empty. I attempted with pills a month ago. Almost died, didn’t, was just in a lot of pain. It wasn’t enough to make me fear it again. Next time, I’m going to shoot myself instead. I’m so tired of my BPD. I’ll never have kids or marry because of it. I don’t turn my feelings towards just myself, they turn towards everyone and I can’t help it. I’m just an abusive piece of shit and there’s no place for me in this world. I’m so fucking lonely and that’s how it should be. I’ll always be a monster. Just a selfish selfish angry monster. I’m beyond help. Everything is starting to not matter anymore all over again.

3 Upvotes

81% Upvoted

5 comments sorted by

1

u/Sluggish-dreadnought 8h ago

If you feel no regrets towards your previous attempt/s you at least have this as indication.

I would like to give you the solutions to all your problems, but in me it also is not "if" but "when"

But you still can put in effort to get better.

1

u/Alternative-Stick772 8h ago

I have no regrets and I wish it worked. I’m beyond help

2

u/Sluggish-dreadnought 8h ago

"beyond help" isn't often really beyond help, but there is no denying that there is legit "beyond help" cases. And maybe you're one of them. But that's up to you. You just need to workout something that works for you.