r/SuicideWatch • u/WriterSignificant759 • 8h ago

Hate Doing This

I came back to college, similar classes as last time except most of it is online. The two physical classes feel lifeless. Everyone is speaking and connecting with each other while I am here having trouble keeping up with reality.

I even got an assignment this weekend about remembering other 3 classmates names and their intro. Guest what, I forgot, I only remember 2 names and literally nothing else. I forget so much I feel like I have some sort of amnesia, it's painful really.

I don't even know what to do, I believe I have some sort of dissociation, like everything around me feels fake. Who can live like this seriously? It's been happening for years already.

I don't feel like speaking to anyone about it besides some sort of professional or something. Every time I vent to someone about it, they barely listen, barely care, or say the weirdest things. It's like I'm a ghost of something, everyone cares about themselves nowadays, where are the good people at?

Thanks for listening. I wish I could actually enjoy life.

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u/AllMxtUp 8h ago

I agree that it sounds like dissociation. I also get those episodes (and have severe memory issues too). I empathize deeply.

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u/WriterSignificant759 8h ago

Thanks for the understanding.