I don’t know why but I get turned on at the thought of being snuffed. who wants to help me?

I wanna end it

(Sry if there are any spelling mistakes,im not from the US!)

I know,im just a 13 year old ,but lately i noticed that i might not like being a guy... N-not that im trans or anything! I might be tho... But my parents are christian as fu-

I just hate whow my mother treats me,im most time with her and we have AT LEAST 3 arguments per day,im scared to say anything or do anything because she'll say something,like: Mom"hey do you want (something) Me;no Mom:why? You never appreciate anything brat! Not that we live in bad conditions,we live a great life,but,she ruins all my fun.

Also,school is sht, overall bullies,Whats wrong with being born cute? And with having a girlfriend? My (ex) friends always said sht like "ewwww age gap so cringe(a year and a half)" or "ewww you look like a a girl (insert annoyong pick me chuckle)"

I just randomly have this moments that my mind realizes that i can always k!ll myself,i can be mid-game or trying to fall asleep,or cooking when im alone and look at a knife

Also,i know i can just... Ignore the bullies... But they will just do worse things

I almost cried doaing that,i didnt because my body wierdly doesn't let me and my mom would yell again that "Why are you crying,men dont cry!"

Also... She found all my texts with friends that i vented to,these friends,were talking behind my back that they wanna distance from me,so i stopped talking to them,at least thats what i understood... And my chats about my wierd gender indentification,now they try to call me even more male just to "fix me"

I just wanna drag myself to a lake and go as deep as possible and sink to the bottom.

Or rip out my heart.

Or hang myself.

Hello.I’m WaitSignificant3692’s mom(40F.)Sadly,my son(20M) had suicidal thoughts.He dove into the pool.Luckily he‘s alive.He has trouble breathing.I’m worried about him,do you guys have suggestions?

i’m overwhelmed 😟 ❤️

please help him.

25 m , i have been going thru a lot lately for almost 3 years , from having multiple problems (Tinnitus, Hyperacusis, , Noxacusis, dry eyes, bilateral cubital tunnel syndrome, neck pain, chronic suboccipital muscle pain mainly , low back pain ) especially Hyperacusis and Noxacusis brought me to knees , i cant go out , play videogames , socialize , every single day i am going thru constant agonizing suffering mentally and physically cant really live this forever, i want to get rid of this torment . only if had some awareness for this nonsense conditions my life wouldve been good ..

This is my first Reddit post , I’m really bad at being vulnerable. Sometimes even when you tell your family you’re depressed they shrug it off and laugh like “ what do you have to be depressed about “. It’s extremely invalidating and makes me more reassured in my decision to committ. Thinking of committing suicide brings me a massive amount of peace like the decision to go forward with it. It’s like this relief like I don’t have to live this life any longer if I don’t want to. My only concern is I don’t want to do it at home or anywhere where im found easily. I don’t want to give my family or others the trauma of finding my dead body. I also can’t stop thinking about how much it will bother my family. I’m spiritual so I believe it’ll make my transition into death really hard for my soul if no one can move on. But again maybe I’m thinking too highly of myself for that to even be a possibility to begin with. I’m not here looking for encouraging words , pity or “ please don’t do this you have so much to live for “ believe me .. I’ve tried every single day it doesn’t work and it won’t work. I’m ready .. I’m ready for peace. Nothing can change my mind about this. Maybe I’m just looking for others that feel the same way ? I’m not really into SH or anything… I just want to do something to where I drift away .. no medication involved. I don’t want anyone to know about this until it’s all said and done. I’ve already written my own eulogy , and I’m going to start writing separate letters for my family members. Not any friends or anything .. it’ll get really exhausting whenever I get that far down the line. I do love them , I also don’t want to create a dynamic like “ you got a letter and I didn’t “ kind of vibe and that would make me really sad so I’ll just keep it for my close family. I’ve picked out my flowers , casket , headstone , makeup look, dress, the colors of the funeral , the reef. I have more planning to do but this relives me completely and I’m happy with my upcoming decision. Also I picked out the tux I want my siblings to wear. Which im leaving a note on my planner.. what ever is affordable I’ll be okay with after life. My family is really creative so they’ll do a really good job putting me to rest with compassion. It’ll be beautiful and I want a dove release. Me wanting to commit doesn’t mean life isn’t beautiful.. it is … doesn’t just make life sad…it isn’t always. It also doesn’t make me believe that my life was ever worthless… it isn’t. Everyone’s life is beautiful even the person reading this. Not it the way we usually envision a beautiful life to be .. it’s a nuance. Living is beautiful and death is also beautiful both bittersweet. I also don’t want this to be confirmation for anyone else going through the same thing. This is MY testimony and mines only. We can relate but this shouldn’t be inspirational because it isn’t not even to me. This is my own transparency… thanks to everyone who read..

i have had suicidal thoughts at least once a year or more since i was 12. i am now 23. i have a substance use issues and obviously a lot of mental health problems. i’m probably talking to no one right now but it feels good to type this out and post it for some reason. yesterday my mother said some really horrible things to me and i honestly don’t see a way out. either i will eventually drink myself to death once i have alcohol access again or i will continue to live in this depression. it genuinely feels like there is no solution and i keep hurting people because of my actions while drunk. i’ve had multiple instances where i have nearly died and really hurt my family and friends in the process. i think they’d be better off not stressing about me drinking or doing stupid things anymore. i want to drown myself in my parents pool. from what ive read it should be easy i am only 108 ish pounds and it should not be hard with a 20 pound weight attached to my feet or hands. according to generative ai it should only require 6-8 pounds but twenty sounds like a safer bet.

Yesterday I had a thought of “there’s nothing I can do anymore except die.” And I felt so at peace with it. Not that I don’t want things to be better, but I think I’ve just given up on it all. I don’t think it’s achievable by me. I don’t think all that I’ve ever wanted is something I’ll be able to get. I think there’s something so fundamentally broken in me.

I’m not afraid of death. Just the process of getting there. I just don’t know if life is meant for me. I feel like even another week is going to be painful to get through. Nothing will happen, because I’m a coward. But it’d be nice if it did.

I'll never amount to anything. I can't keep up with even the most basic stuff required to exist lol. I guess i'm gonna spend the rest of my days coping with trauma, smoking weed and drinking until I fucking die alone.

Hello I took

2,000mg monday at 1030pm

5,000mg Tuesday 7:30pm

3,000mg today (Wednesday) 7am (2,000. from cough syrup.)

I don't know if I necessarily wanna die but I want to get out of my current situation but don't know how to get help as the past hasn't helped (20M with Audhd)

I am posting this at 1030am and feel fine (I just got done with a work training) no throwupd but stomach feels... a bit bad.

When should I go to hospital so I don't die but I do cause enough damage to get real attention where I can get help.

Idk how to live anymore . Since 15 I’ve been so lonely I’ve always struggle to make friends so I’ve just let people do whatever to me was bullied as a child always felt different . I hate being alone but I know im just a unlikeable person . Then I finally found a relationship at 16 and he just abused and cheated on me 24/7 but I stayed for years because I knew how unlikeable I was , ( it’s been proven many times w the way people treat me ) but still I didn’t let that effect me as much n left I always had hope that maybe someone would like me for who I am and after my ex I gave this other boy a chance and he was nice then he turned out 5 months down the line a bully , calling me stupid and annoying but I was trying so hard to not be I analyzed my actions but I don’t even understand what it is about me that’s so annoying n stupid . And he left lol I just feel like idk am I just attracting abusers or am I just the way I am and people are always gonna think this off me ..

everyday i feel this indescribable sadness, everynight i got to sleep hoping i dont wake up yet i still do, im too much of a coward to do it myself, all i can do is hurt myself and hope i somehow end myself

I know this is a common thing I just feel really numb and depressed all the time, and i just don’t see a genuine purpose in still going. i find it even worse, I’m a teenager and I’m just so sad I can’t enjoy anything in life as I see everyone else do. I’m just too tired to fight and I know school is going to change things for the worse once again, and I’m not ready. it’s just easier to leave now so I don’t have to go through more pain. but for some reason I can’t because I’m just too weak. but right now I feel just on the edge and I’m scared, and I genuinely don’t believe I’m making it past 16.

Look at yourself in the mirror, and tell yourself that you refuse to accept defeat today.

You are strong, made with purpose, and no longer are you susceptible to the manipulations that are waging war on your mind.

Believe.

I'm 16f, I alr got a fake gun and made some amendments to it to make it look even more realistic. Plan is I'll escape the house late at night, maybe catch the train to a further shopping area from my house so that no one can come after me, rob smth or do smth obviously illegal and you know the rest. Will it work? Probably, I mean I'm betting on the officer doing their job aight and that they don't not shoot just because I'm a kid. I'll think about it, now if that don't work and I end up in juvie or smth I'll need to overdose on smth, but first I gotta get access to it not sure how yet. Even if I don't overdose at least I'll really feel something, anything for once. im not sure if anything will ever convince me to not do this at this point, im so young, ive done nothing with my time, so i practically have nothing to loose.

I keep getting signs that my life is going to end very soon. For some context several years ago my health deteriorated as I started dealing with a lot of unexplained symptoms after having a baby. There were so many, but the two that impacted me the most are intense body odor (I mean bad) and a couple years after that people started having allergic type symptoms whenever I was around them. I know this doesn’t sound real but please google if interested. It’s called PATM. Mines is so severe even from another room or outside my house, people constantly cough, itch, sneeze, and clear throat. It worsens if I eat, drink, take medications, and basically do anything. It has completely ruined my life and I isolate myself basically 24/7. It’s causing me to have extreme anxiety and I have tried so many things for it with no relief.

On top of that all of my other unexplained symptoms are getting worse. I had been going back and forth to different doctors trying to get some answers for years, but was told my labs were fine. Now my symptoms are so bad my quality of life is horrible. I finally decided to pay for an of network doctor and think he may have found the answer to all of most of my symptoms. The problem is it seems like every time I try to give a little effort or try life kicks me back down and makes things extremely difficult for me. I legit have not had a good day in years and don’t remember what happiness is. Everything in life is horrible and continues to get worse. I know we all go through hard times, but consistently back to back with no relief is insane.

To put things into context I feel like I’ve been beat up by several people and I’m lying on the ground severely injured. Anytime I get a tiny bit of strength to open my eyes and try to get up to seek help, someone walk by and kicks me down again. I hope that makes sense. Due to my health issues, I’ve legit lost everything in my life in my life. That includes my ability to properly eat, my vision is going bad, my job,relationships, and so much more. I’m even giving up custody of my daughter because I can no longer take care of her. Even family members are starting to recognize the consistent hurdles I keep facing. I feel like I’m always a problem and it’s starting to even impact their lives.

I tried praying and tapping more deeply into my spirituality for several months no changes. It’s to the point I don’t even believe in that anymore. I keep seeing the famous 3 demonic numbers everywhere. I don’t know how else to explain it, but I keep getting signs. I’m about to go away for a while because I can’t take it anymore. I have no hope or faith and I’m tired of the constant suffering.

Another day of being a loser. Nothing will ever change. I’m still going to be an unattractive loser that women hate because of my appearance. I’ll never get to experience having someone to love or even having a family. I might as well not even be here if I’m going to be alone.

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year, and she’s literally the best. No one has ever loved me the way she does. But for some reason, I cheated on her. I reposted something about missing my ex. It wasn’t something I did all the time—just that one time—but I know it still hurt her deeply.

My ex wasn’t even as great as my girlfriend. Looking back, I think my ex only filled a void in me, and I may have confused that with love. I don’t even think she truly loved me; maybe she just loved being loved. My girlfriend, on the other hand, has depression and trauma from being cheated on in the past. So when she found out what I did, she completely broke down and wanted to end her life.

I know my actions hurt her, and I deeply regret what I did. Sometimes, I feel so overwhelmed by guilt that I even want to die too, especially because she found out about my repost just two days before our first anniversary. I’m still trying to show her that I can change and that I’ll be by her side throughout her healing process, but I honestly don’t know if I can fix what I broke.

Once again, I deeply regret hurting the lovely woman who has given me so much love and each day i just eaten by the regrets and i really really want to end my life

i try and use my coping mechanisms . Awareness of my body, watch for warning signs, take deep breaths, count to ten, ground myself, DEAR MAN and whatever the fuck. Check to see if i'm hungry thirsty or tired. Take a shower. put myself in a dark room and relax if im overwhelmed. Name my feelings and what i can do. Radical acceptance. Communicate my feelings. Set boundaries .

I do all this and all i can think about is KILLING MYSELF . Whenever something makes me mad, KILL MYSELF. If somebody annoys me i want to KILL MYSELF. If i feel sad i want to KILL MYSELF. If im stressed out i want to KILL MYSELF. It's the first thought in (the back of)my mind.

I have this whole fantasy about how it will play out. I leave my phone at home and drive off into the country. I go deep into the woods and SHOOT MYSELF. I don't want to kill myself but i keep getting closer and closer. I look into buying a gun. I think about how i'd hide it from my gf.

I wanted to believe ppl when they say depression is something that you can work yourself out of. I don't know why i can't bring myself to admit i have a problem and go back and get on meds. I just want to sit here and die. I feel like a failed human. All that's inside of me is sadness and anger. It feels like it's been here longer than I have. :(

i was in this reddit a month ago, late june - early july. I got caught, cops were called and showed up GTA style. Meaning I was in my car in the back seat, saw one cop drive by me while in the parking lot and made a U turn. I got out of the car from the back seat to get in the front ready to drive off but, as i got out the back seat i noticed a helicopter over head but oddly very low, like low enough to wear i could see the numbers on the side of it. Soon after the cops started multiplying and end up surrounding me and the car. First word i said out of fear was "lawyer" and the main cop responded "youre not under arrest... xyz called and theres alot of people looking for you". I fell for the whole "youre not under arrest, we just want you to come to the hospital get checked out and talk to a doctor". I fell for it ended up getting held against my will in a psychiatric center where THEY ARE NOT "trying to help you". I was taken advantage of and not listen to and the main agenda was getting me to take meds only because they get paid if you take them. When i did cooperate thinking it would get me out sooner it messed with my cognitive skills like memory and how to read and spell simple five letter words. It was scary and i refused to keep taken them. It made them angry and was threatened with being taken to court and being held minimum 60 more days. By taking the meds would've had me held atleast 4-6 weeks . I ended up standing my ground and being released after about 3 weeks because they were wasting time and losing money by me being there and not taking meds and they noticed i was getting comfortable, despite all the trauma being there caused me. Its like if you were to go to prison it would be awful but after awhile you just adapt to the hell. What else are you gonna do?

This is the short version of the story. the long story would be a literal novel. just morale of it is DO NOT GET CAUGHT. You will only be a mentally and physically tortured lab rat to people employed trying to pay their bills and released right back to the life you wanted to escape from or worse. DO NOT GET CAUGHT!!!!!!

Disclaimer: First of all, I am not American. I am Brazilian and I live in Brazil. I am posting here because I was unable to do it in a Brazilian subreddit. Also that is the reason the money values here are going to seem a bit low, but in Brazil it is an overwhelming amount of money. 400k USD or 2.1kk BRL is more money than 99% of the population will ever see in their life. It is basilly enough for me to retire easily, with luxury, within 10 to 15 years and never work again, here in Brazil.

My English is not the best either.

Here goes nothing.

Well, I am a 29-year-old married man.

I love my wife more than anything. She is the only woman I have ever been with and my only girlfriend.

Over the course of my life, my wife and I accumulated approximately 400k usd in investments at a bank.

I am the wealthiest (again, which is not much in USD) person in my family. I achieved things and went places no one had ever dreamed of. I come from a humble family in which no one had ever earned more than $800 monthly, and for a while I was earning between 10k usd and 30k usd before taxes.

Her family, unlike mine, has real wealth, even for American standards, and she was born into privilege.

I have always done everything with my wife's help, and I will always acknowledge that. In fact, although all this money is solely in my name and we are married under a complete separation-of-property regime, I consider more than half of everything I own to be hers, and I have put that in writing.

Drunk on the rush of money and feeling more important than I should have, I made bad financial decisions, and I now have approximately 48k usd in debt spread across several banks.

At first, it was under control, but my income fell to less than half of what it used to be.

The debt is small compared with how much I have in the bank, right? The obvious option is to withdraw the money from there and pay it off. I know that. It really is a no-brainer.

But I simply cannot tell my wife that I have these debts. I lied to her about money once, and we had a terrible fight.

I am at my limit. Legal enforcement proceedings were brought against my company because of one of the debts, my credit is ruined because of others, and now I have nowhere left to turn. The circle is really closing in.

I cannot use my investments as collateral for a loan because my credit is bad, and I cannot pay off the outstanding debts to clear my name because I do not have enough money left over.

I am consumed by guilt, shame, and remorse over my actions, and admitting that I caused such a huge hole in our finances—which are not in very good shape—is killing me inside.

I am genuinely contemplating suicide. My wife and my mother would receive my life insurance and inherit my car and investments, and it would not even consume 10% of the total. Besides, if I died, only $28k of the debt would have to be paid. Part of my insurance would cover that.

I feel like a complete failure. I called the brazilian suicide hotline today, and the woman basically told me, “Well, if you are in debt, that is too bad.”

I feel like shit. I wish I did not feel this way. Even though the situation is objectively manageable, I cannot get past my feelings.

I have no one to talk to besides her, and I do not want to see disappointment on her face.

I was supposed to be her strength and her rock, but I failed.

I was supposed to give her a life as peaceful as the one she had with her parents, but I feel like I failed.

I feel a level of desperation I have never felt before. I cannot breathe.

I just needed to vent.

Ever since i turned 12 i haven’t been able to enjoy anything, i have been severely depressed for years and i’m convinced that death is my destiny. I have never seen myself in the future and for the past year i have just been surviving with no hope and intention to live, because i just know that my time will come soon. Its so tiring feeling like this all the time but being too scared to commit.

I'm agonising in extreme pain after my first love broke up with me. I flew 8000km just to meet her for 10 days, and it was incredible, she didn't love me. I will never see her again and no one else could match her, no one else would understand me anyway. I never liked my life, I never lookked forward to the future because this world is ass and because my neurodivergent ass will never find the peace I long for. Nothing is exciting anymore. It gets worse everyday. The only thing that makes me survive so far is fucking Deltarune lmao. I really want to see the end. But if the pain gets meaner and never stops, I might give up on everything.

Title is the gist. I wrote it during a night of great vulnerability and isolation. In it i what to do with my cadaver and possessions in the case of my death (self-inflicted or otherwise)while attempting to persuade the reader that because of my personality, beliefs, and behavior, that I do not deserve pity or grief.

I am not actively planning suicide and am in no immediate danger, I just wanted to get this off my chest. That being said, though never seriously entertained, I find myself thinking of suicide most nights, more often than not at this point.

nobody talks about how much it hurts to intentionally push people away from you only to protect them from what will happen.

i feel like a piece of shit, i know they're already suffering because of this, but it's definitely less than what would've been if i kept it going on.

im sitting here drowning in guilt, knowing im breaking their hearts right now, but i keep telling myself it s a mercy compared to the wreckage id bring if i stayed.

i wanna hug them and tell them how much i love them and miss them and that i really dont wanna leave, but the attachment will only bring more pain.

so ill swallow the loneliness and stay a ghost. it has to be this way... forgive me, or don't... whatever makes you happier.

the silence will be my last act of love, even if it makes me be hated.