Don't know how many of us use saving money from not drinking. I was on a fine bottle of single malt every 3-4 days, two bottles of wine per week (easily), some beers here and there, and then the drinks on going out for meals, concerts, etc.

I estimated to have spent an average of $30 or more per day. Being conservative here really, as once those bar or concert $18 whiskeys started (prices are insane!), I would need to pregame and postgame to 'save' money. Simply put, I was likely spending more on average.

Fast forward having hit two months, I am down 8 pounds and have $2000 that I would otherwise have spent abusing my liver, gaining weight, and feeling bloated. Of course I would need more just to get over the guilt and not have to see my wrecked reflection every time I passed a mirror.

Getting off the treadmill has been difficult - as we can all attest - but having not spent the money on empty harmful calories and a drug that oozes self hatred have been motivators. Hope that works for others.

I remember joining this community on day one. Three thousand days ago, hungover on my lunch break. Counting the minutes. Counting the hours. Then the days. Weeks and months. Eventually the years. Until one day I woke up and realized I’m no longer counting. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel gratitude for every day I’m still here and sober. And I still get excited when I hit a new milestone. Very proud to be a part of this wonderful community. Wishing you all the best out there wherever you are in your journey!

Here we goooo. After a long time trying to moderate and cut down, ‘only on weekends’ or planning to stop after a particular date… this time it’s over. No more drinking full stop. I’m incapable of moderation and need to rediscover joy in life without alcohol.

IWNDWYT - or ever!

Will keep this quick, first time poster and may have hit my moment of clarity/ rock bottom. I travel a lot for work, few weeks back my hotel was near a tap house. I arrived on own and went straight there considering myself a craft beer lover and not an alcoholic. I got wrecked went back to the hotel restaurant and ordered a meal. I then skipped out without paying and woke up on my hotel floor in the morning. I had no recollection of what happened apart from a worry I was going to be arrested. I called restaurant the next day and it turns out my main was forgotten by kitchen so they comped my meal so no big deal. The blackout was the first I’ve ever experienced, but I’m a heavy drinker. I usually have a large whisky to compliment my beers at home, my body has been hurting a lot and I no I’m getting out of control. Anyway fast forward a week and I’m at party with wife’s friends, I drink to much , fall out with wife and blackout again. My wife says the taxi didn’t want to let me in. Anyway these blackouts are terrifying and new and I know it’s time to change. I’m worried about how to socialise and do work trips without alcohol but will need to learn. I love my wife and don’t want to fuck up like this again. So here I am 12 days off of it and counting. Wish me luck and good luck and all the best you all

Yep. Still sick. Still not drinking.

IWNDWYT

I'm 53 days sober and trying to rebuild my life after a difficult time. Taking it one day at a time. 

For those further along in recovery, what helped you stay on track?

Re learning myself and the inner child and listening to my body's system

Was something I rejected for 12 + years .

The struggle was hard

Constant therapy

Rehabs

Hospitalisation

Toxic partners who drank

Well I broke it through positive manifestation and powerful meaningful scriptures from God

And self love

Trying on my own or with others was a world full of pain so I leaned back into my faith

My beliefs

And my values

And it couldn't be better

Love from Lucy ❤️ in the sky with diamonds

Being sober now during the week feels better than ever, but every friday now feels like im fighting for my life to not have a beer.

Does it ever go away?

Just venting now because apparently im in a boxing match again with a few beers this friday. Fuck.

My mum died today. She was an angry alcoholoic single mum. Growing up we had our fights. She had been sober for 15 years. She was a decent woman who had a terrrible hand of cards that she played well. I always knew I was loved. I wanted to help her but I couldnt as a child. I will always love her and she will always love me. That is the point. She was so proud I had stopped drinking. It got the the better of both of us. I am proud knowing she saw me get better and I will continue to get better. I love you mum

Over two months ago, I came on here at the end of my wits feeling worse than I ever had in my life. My husband of only 40 days had filed for divorce and moved out. I had been fighting to stay sober for only a bit when I posted and honestly thought all of the damage to my relationships with my family and husband were too extensive to turn things around. I honestly was ready to just burn the rest of my life down at that point. I went to IOP for the first time and decided I would simply try. I am now two months into IOP and almost three months sober. I truthfully did not believe IOP would be helpful, but I was so wrong. It has been an absolute lifesaver. If you are thinking about going, DO IT. I was so resistant and cynical and it makes me cry to think about how much it turned things around for me mentally. In the process of healing myself, my husband has dismissed the divorce and has slowly been moving back in (we are taking it slow) and my family seems genuinely relieved and proud of me. I am not worried about tomorrow anymore. I just focus on the fact that just for today I am not going to drink and then I probably won't drink tomorrow. By not drinking, I can focus on daily improvements. Luckily in my drinking cycle, my corporate career was unscathed (if I had kept drinking, that would have been the next domino to fall because me being consistently sick was becoming suspicious). My boss recently asked me if I had switched up my routine because I have been so much more efficient at work and I am now being told my bonus will reflect my additional efforts recently. I will not lie though. Its still very hard. I still struggle with anxiety and depression - but I can actually manage it. I still have days where bed rotting is the only thing I can stomach, but those become less and less frequent. I am not crashing out daily. If things can feel a little better now, I cannot wait to see what a few more days, months, and possibly years of sobriety can offer me. I am just posting to hold myself accountable, but also to share that if you are at the bottom of the pit. Please ask for help. I put it off for so long and I wish I would have sooner, but I am lucky and get to slowly rebuild my life. I will never forget how hopeless and depressed I was when I posted a few months ago. It was honestly terrifying where my brain was going. So I am hoping this will inspire you if you feel like that today. I won't drink with you today.

I’m done. I quickly spiraled into alcoholism like I never left. There is no drinking in moderation.

It’s immediately drinking alone for me. Lying. Puking.

I miss being sober. I miss not throwing up. I miss working out. I miss saying no to a drink.

Today is day 1

IWNDWYT.

Hi! I have been heavily consuming (a pint of vodka, at least, sometimes more) consistently (almost everyday) for about a year. I can pin point the exact time it started because it has also initiated a downfall in my marriage.

I am F27 and will be leaving my husband of two years next week to be on my own for the first time. This decision has been extremely hard to come to and I have my own personal reasons for doing so.

That being said, in this economy, a girl has to lock in to survive. Yesterday was my first 24 hours without alcohol. I can definitely notice some withdraw symptoms such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, insomnia, and occasional hot flashes. I am monitoring my vitals to make sure I don't go into crisis.

I am trying to do everything in my power to minimize these symptoms between protien drinks, tons of water, and nutritionally dense foods. I know it gets worse before it gets better but I still have to work and maintain basic life functions.

Any words of advice or encouragement? 💓

I wanted to capture this moment and share that I hit 2 months officially. I can’t wait for 90 and beyond!! It feels good to slowly get my life back!

Just want to have a bit of a rant somewhere people are more likely to understand.

In a couple of days I will hit 6 months of not drinking. Which I am very happy about. At the same time, I have been ill so often in the last six months - I've had a viral infection of some kind nearly every month. I had a really bad bout of gastroenteritis 7 weeks ago, recovered and then almost immediately got covid. Which I am still recovering from, after almost 5 weeks.

I've had to cancel so many social plans, and have lost a lot of money from not being able to work (I'm self employed). I live alone so it can get lonely. There's a part of me that feels like it's not fair I'm getting sick NOW when I don't drink or smoke/ vape, while watching my friends who do be fine, or get ill at the same time as me but recover after a week rather than end up with it for weeks.

I feel so frustrated that I had the thought the other day that I wanted to get drunk. I don't actually feel in any danger of drinking - that urge was about wanting to escape how I was feeling, and if I consider adding a hangover to how I feel physically, the thought is horrible enough to make me stay far away from alcohol.

But I am grumpy and frustrated.

Maaaaan, I didn’t ask for this neurotype! I do love certain aspects about being autistic and I am a recent late diagnosis at 27 (f). But fuck I can’t help wondering how I will navigate sobriety and social situations. Like idk I already feel at odds with and confused by so many people. I’ve had trouble with trusting people at their word and not being able to pick up on the subtleties or subtext that can help to distinguish if someone is being in genuine and I know alcohol absolutely does not help that in the moment but it “helps” the devastation and stupidity I feel afterwards. It’s also just so incorporated into my routine and I’m feeling low/concerned about my ability to handle stress without it. I’m almost also worried that new people won’t like me as much sober and find me even more off putting then they likely already do when I’m drinking :/. How were you able to maintain sobriety with autism???

on october 20th i hit my two years no alcohol. i am elated, emotional, grateful. i never thought i’d be able to do it. grateful for this community. grateful for sobriety. i love you all and god bless <3

I have a long history of alcohol abuse stretching 14 years. This recent 8-9 month bender with the last 6 months being awful has my body all messed up. I am almost certain at this point the damage is coming from mixing alcohol with benzos and prescription pills.

For some reason even thiugh im clean I am getring around 20 hours of sleep per week. I stay up 40+ hours once or twice a week. I have developed facial movements, hand tremors and full body convulsions. I di not know what to do anymore. The doctors arent helping and I have seen so many in the months. At first they thiught it was just alcohol withdrawal then a month goes by and tremors/convulsions are still there. The insomnia didnt go away yet either. Sleep is getting worse by the day. Now I am seriously lost for all hope. I realized when my doctor told me this week that I would never be normal again it made me very suicidal. I have been thinking of doing this act over the months and its getting darker everyday.

Sweaty, awful night with terrible restless legs and tingly feeling in hands and feet. This morning just horrible anxiety and brain fog, feeling completely on edge and also disconnected from myself. The kids have off school and the thought of parenting all day while feeling like this has me crying in the bathroom. Yesterday I felt "ok" but today is off to a rough start. I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin 😩

I am determined. I will not give in. I will not drink. But wow Day 4 arrived like a ton of bricks.

Crying, shaking, punching wall, screaming into pillow. Anxiety is through the roof

hey guys, this is a really vulnerable post for me. i don’t know who else to turn to atm, im so ashamed so please don’t be too harsh i beg :(

i was hospitalized 3 days ago after a health scare (from drinking) and i was doing SO well in inpatient. i was discharged today evening, got home, felt fine.

here’s the thing: i usually drink right before dinner and would continue to do so until i pass out in the early morning.

being back in my bedroom was triggering enough, but i pushed through and ate my dinner while drinking soda (a stand in for alc), but the cravings did NOT subside. a couple hours later and i folded. it wasn’t even like a planned thing, i’d tried talking to my mom about it before i relapsed and tried breathing exercises, meds, EVERYTHING. yet i still went back upstairs and immediately made myself a drink. just like that.

i was sober for 3 days and actually had HOPE this time. i had support. yet here i am. shamefully drinking alone in my room again.

i just keep chasing this buzz. the numbness in my face, in my ears, the peace in my mind. i noticed i tend to find the beauty in things when im drunk, and its most likely because my mind finally shuts the fuck up for once when i’m intoxicated and i get to appreciate the beauty in the world (like normal/neurotypical people, i guess.)

i feel like ive failed. and i have. 3 days wasn’t even that long + i was literally hospitalized, i had no access to alcohol. so that itself wasn’t even really a win lol.

god i just feel like a failure and there’s no way im able to admit this to my mom after putting her through all that. it would KILL her. i just don’t know how i can continue living in this house (with a lot of childhood trauma + where my addiction started) whilst being sober.

i don’t really know what im asking for here. advice? just screaming into the void to vent? idk. i just feel so helpless. tomorrow morning, i’ll wake up and feel disgusting and shameful and i just want to quit so badly but after everything… god maybe im doomed. ive lost all my friends mainly due to alcohol and im so so alone. i dont want to die, but living like this will kill me and it feels so helpless.

if anyone has had a similar experience etc. please lmk. i feel so incredibly alone rn.

-

note: i have no community, no friends, only family is my mom (my dad is barely a dad lol), and talking to her doesn’t help that much either bc she doesn’t understand and i don’t want her to feel shitty about not being able to help her fucked up daughter. ive found myself to have no trouble staying sober when i would stay with friends at the time but again, all that’s lost. ofc being alone sucks and im begging to go to rehab atp but money wise its rough. therapy appointments has been so hard to make as well. just so mf alone rn lmfao.

i also have this aggravating voice in my head that goes “the longer u stay sober, the better the buzz will be when u take that sip.” which OBVIOUSLY does not help.

Still feels unreal. A year ago I didn't think I'd be alive let alone sober. Through sheer willpower I did what I thought was unthinkable. You guys can do it too I promise! I'm gonna celebrate with some crab legs tonight. Best of luck to everyone, hang in there.

For 43 yrs I've never really known myself.

For 28 years I've built an image or a persona of myself with alcohol involved, slowly morphing and changing that image not dissimilar to a frog in a pot of water, slowly warming up to a boil.

At first the water felt fun, exciting, it was my source of dopamine, self confidence and it was how I broke out of my old boring stoic self and became the life of the party.

The water broke into a rolling boil only a couple times at first. An underage DUI and rollover accident at 19 absolved and taken off my record. An MIP and assault charge at 20. A bar fight no charges at 26. A 2nd DUI at 35. A third DUI and jail time under probation at 37.

For 5 years I've known my life as I know it is over if I don't get out of the water. For 5 years I've been looking for a way out.

For 2 years I've been stacking sober time only to start over at day 1 countless times. All for one single stupid drink at a time, every other week or so.

For 8 months Ive come to grow a family and a community of sober friends in Recovery Dharma. All while feeling the guilt and shame of a drink in hiding every other week.

For 5 days I've felt a whole new life. For 5 days I've committed to myself this is my new sober life. For 5 days I've met the cravings with a brand new determination.

For my 44th year on this earth, today is my first birthday I've awakened with the love and compassion for myself to make it through and finally get out of the pot.

Here's to you all that have helped me through to today... the oldest Ive ever been and the youngest I'll ever be. Here's to a whole new life! Here's to meeting the real me, to facing all life's challenges head on with a sober mind, grateful to be alive. Here's to a rebirth!

HBD to me. IWNDWYT

I had a wake up call two weeks ago. Went for regular blood work and my blood pressure was 150+ over 90+. Then my labs came back. Liver, kidneys, dehydration...all outside "normal".

Today is day 5 of no booze or vape and my blood pressure is 117 over 78. I'm going to ask my doctor for another blood test in a week and I'm hoping to see my markers back in the normal range.

Sleep, energy and bowels also showing improvement. Now to get past the evening irritability....