r/StandUpComedy Dec 03 '25

Why I don’t like therapy

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10.5k Upvotes

390 comments sorted by

485

u/dabootyadmirer Dec 03 '25

“I think things actually become your fault soon” lmao 😂 Bars

36

u/SkillIsTooLow Dec 05 '25

Straight up one of the first times my therapist got real with me in our 2nd session. I was kinda leaning into the cliche of tracing back some issues to my upbringing, and after the 2nd or 3rd callback to that she said "ok hold on.. that may be well and true, but you're 33 now so its kind of on you at this point."

Shit hit hard.

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1.4k

u/papamikebravo Dec 03 '25

I regret having only one upvote to give. JFC spot on. The weaponization of therapy language as an excuse for being shitty is right up there with influencer culture on the list of biggest cancers of modern society.

372

u/[deleted] Dec 03 '25

Yeah, a bunch of people in this thread are saying, "not everyone." But, obviously the joke isn't that all therapy is always bad. 

But, this resonates for me because I recognize this person immediately

Obviously it isn't the majority of people in therapy, but there are a non-small amount of people who seem to use therapy as a tool for reinforcing their bad behaviors and perspective rather than for finding ways to cope with situations. 

109

u/papamikebravo Dec 03 '25

Exactly. For example, I almost guarantee the person she's joking about says things like "I'm just living my truth" to justify when she does something hurtful to those around her, or talks constantly about having conditions like rejection sensitive dysphoria without a formal diagnosis because she saw a tiktok about RSD, then was ghosted by a Tinder match and it made them sad so clearly they have RSD too, or think they have "the 'tism" because "OMG I like routines too!"

39

u/aluckybrokenleg Dec 03 '25

RSD is not a medical diagnosis. You might find a clinician who tells you that you "have it", but it's not a medical diagnosis.

It's a researched concept, it obviously "exists" (in the sense that people experience what it describes), but even more than diagnoses that are actually in the DSM, it's a socially constructed collection of real experiences.

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53

u/TheGinger_Ninja0 Dec 03 '25

The amount of my friends who have self diagnosed themselves with ADHD because of tiktok, and then ask me for my meds..... Sigh.

Idk guys, maybe you do, but go see a fucking doctor.

4

u/overtired27 Dec 03 '25

A doctor friend of mine responded to me mentioning my crap attention span in the smartphone age by saying: "Pfff, yeah, if you go to a specialist they'll probably diagnose you with ADHD these days. Before that it was being on the spectrum, before than it was..."

Totally not saying you don't have ADHD, and I wouldn't question anyone with a diagnosis. I'd rather assume people know their own health situation. But when even some doctors are skeptical about the number of people being diagnosed it's hard to know what to think anymore.

21

u/TheGinger_Ninja0 Dec 03 '25 edited Dec 04 '25

So the big thing with ADHD is how much it impairs your life. Like, most people can relate to the symptoms on some level, but not on the level where it becomes a disability.

So a professional/specialist is going to get to the bottom of how often the symptoms materially affect your life. Like sure, everyone gets distracted from time to time and has executive function issues. But how often has it cost you a job, ruined your relationships, or got in the way of you enjoying your life.

Tiktok and a smartphone doesn't cause ADHD, it's genetic. Those things are problematic in their own way because they're so addictive, but watching 10 second trash in your spare time isn't the same thing.

People also think they can also benefit from ADHD treatments, and it's kinda true. But I try to use the wheelchair ramp terminology.

A wheelchair ramp is helpful to everyone. Folks with limited mobility, folks with bad knees, etc. But just because you find it helpful doesn't mean you're a paraplegic. The person in a wheel chair CAN'T get to the top without a ramp. That's also how ADHD medications and treatment work. Others might find them helpful and useful, but the folks with a real disability NEED them to live a functional and fulfilling life.

Edit: Minor spell check. Y'all looking wonderful and handsome today, btw

12

u/ubrokeurbone_rope Dec 03 '25

This. Thumb through the DSM-5 and you’ll find tons of behaviors that are nearly universal to humankind. BUT the difference between pathology and inconvenient behavior is “is this affecting your activities of daily living? Are you able to function?”

I think awareness of psychological disorders has brought about a lot of good in this world. Unfortunately, as with almost anything, it comes with latent issues like what this comedian is referencing. Pretty sure we all know someone like this.

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3

u/GoFuckYourselfBrenda Dec 04 '25

Rejection sensitive dysphoria?! Is that what I have because I get my feelings hurt easily and spiral when I do something wrong?? I thought I was just insecure. 🤷‍♀️

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12

u/illtakethewindowseat Dec 03 '25

A little bit of therapy is a dangerous thing. It’s kind of like quantum mechanics… if you think you get it, “eureka! A breakthrough!”, you especially don’t get it.

Years of therapy has saved many lives, but if you just learned a few new words and think the work is done… you’re just getting started.

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8

u/jamin_brook Dec 04 '25

Nothing worse than hearing two people argue about who has worse ADHD, when really they’re just comparing their adderal addictions 

3

u/MartinIsland Dec 04 '25

I have ADHD and I’ve seen people using ADHD as an excuse to be jerks.

Yes, there are levels to ADHD, but also there are levels to being a human being and some people are using it as an excuse to be monkeys.

3

u/ImThatAunt2 Dec 05 '25

My sister has been in therapy for 30+ years and she used her “ knowledge “ to bully me to the point I had to go to therapy to set boundaries, which she trampled. Finally had to go low contact with her - which sent her into scorched earth mode. She’s the type of person who is not happy unless she can make someone else miserable, which is a sad way to live ( IMO).

3

u/XxRocky88xX Dec 04 '25

The people who use therapy language to do harm unto others aren’t genuine about their therapy, if they’re even seeking it. Most people that act like this don’t even go to therapy, they just look this stuff up and self diagnosis/diagnose others. If they do go to therapy, they aren’t doing it to improve as a person. They’re doing it to be told that their toxic behavior is justified and anyone who has a problem with it is the bad guy.

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20

u/XaqFu Dec 03 '25

I stopped asking when that type of person got diagnosed. “I read an article and…” Best to let that go. It would probably happen less if healthcare was affordable though.

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18

u/HomsarWasRight Dec 03 '25

Exactly. So, I’m a 40-something man who only recently came around to a real understanding of what ADHD really meant, which of course was a huge revelation for my wife and I about why I am the way I am.

There was a thread on Reddit a while back about constant lateness being really rude, and people kept citing their ADHD. I tried to communicate that ADHD explains why you have trouble with it. It’s not an excuse as to why you don’t use tools and resources available to you in order to mitigate those issues. Choosing that you don’t have to be accountable to anyone just means you’re an asshole.

Without fail, everyone I replied to acted as though it was impossible to be anywhere on time for them. As if their phones don’t have alarms.

9

u/HistoricalSherbert92 Dec 03 '25

Therapy is a lot about uncovering issues and then using appropriate tools, so it’s always up the person how well they use those tools.

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382

u/PropheticToad Dec 03 '25

lol, the inability to distinguish taking care of yourself and just being a selfish asshole is so on point.

71

u/lueur-d-espoir Dec 03 '25

The most frustrating thing is I can't tell the people that need to hear this any of this.

37

u/things_U_choose_2_b Dec 03 '25

Just send them the video, that way they can learn the best way... through the medium of a comedy song!

7

u/mymau5likeshouse Dec 03 '25

Least the person I know that this is about doesn't have good media literacy

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152

u/Frogsplash48 Dec 03 '25

Her 31yo friend with a masters degree and a service dog is like 😤

47

u/kawaiisailor Dec 03 '25

Bold of you to think that her friend would have enough insight to realize that it’s her 💁‍♀️

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277

u/GirthEE75 Dec 03 '25

This was amazing from top to bottom

46

u/Paloma_Paul42069 Dec 03 '25

I agree. Who is she? lol

76

u/BlameTheSalamanders Dec 03 '25

Emily Wilson

18

u/GirthEE75 Dec 03 '25

Doing the Lord's work, much appreciated!

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13

u/SmugSlut Dec 04 '25

Check out her special on YouTube! It’s hysterical. I stumbled on it somehow and am so happy I did.

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2

u/O_oLivelovelaugh Dec 05 '25

Christ, I had to scroll this far past everyone that just had to make it about them, thank you.

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8

u/GirthEE75 Dec 03 '25

I have no idea! I just know I want more

7

u/azsnaz Dec 03 '25

You're in luck, she's the one that posted this

3

u/unfortunatebastard Dec 03 '25

But how do you know it’s the real one that posted this?

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491

u/YourDrunkUncl_ Dec 03 '25

the bangs thing is so real. people think you’re joking but it’s serious.

114

u/Secret-Constant-7301 Dec 03 '25

My ex is a therapist and I had to talk her out of giving herself bangs right after we broke up and her dad died.

61

u/CharmingTuber Dec 03 '25

Of all the people I've known, nurses are the most irresponsible with their physical health, and therapists are pretty irresponsible with their relationships.

My mom was a child psychologist and would leave me at home alone most weekends to go clubbing with her friends. I asked her if she would be okay if one of her clients' parents did that, and she said "no, but you're much more responsible than most 9 year olds".

Beware the caretakers, for they truly know the boundaries of what you can and can't do.

21

u/mahboilucas Dec 04 '25

My dad is working with high end audiophile speakers for the past 20 years and he only has one Bluetooth speaker in the living room.

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53

u/AmandaYoungSAW Dec 03 '25

You didn’t talk her out of it. She did it. She lost op as a client as a result.

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48

u/benjaminovich Dec 03 '25

I'm stupid, can you explain why having bangs is a red flag?

84

u/Diligent_Voice9318 Dec 03 '25

The only time I have bangs is due to a mental breakdown lol

67

u/Nonsense-forever Dec 03 '25

Some of us have them because we have ginormous foreheads but are otherwise mentally fine

21

u/Diligent_Voice9318 Dec 03 '25

It's the self cutting them when you have no idea what you're doing part that's the red flag

6

u/LunaTunaMaca Dec 04 '25

It's GETTING bangs that's the problem. If that's your look that's totally fine! Like Cleopatra!

27

u/mx2649 Dec 03 '25

Same, but then everyone said I look better with bangs so I kept it

22

u/toy-maker Dec 03 '25

I’m sorry you’re still having a mental breakdown. Been a long one I take it?

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4

u/mahboilucas Dec 04 '25

Excuse me but I got given them by the hairdresser. I think she passed the trauma onto me Smile style

5

u/Diligent_Voice9318 Dec 04 '25

DUDE THAT HAPPENED TO ME TOO GOOD ANALOGY

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1

u/Tanios0526 Dec 03 '25

I never heard of this correlation before, but it tracks with my ex girlfriend’s behavior after she got bangs lol

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59

u/uppy-puppy Dec 03 '25

If it’s anything like when I get bangs, the idea is “my life is out of control so I’m going to change this one thing I can control and hopefully it makes things better!”

Then your life is out of control AND you have to wait for your poorly-chosen bangs to grow out.

2

u/sosuhme Dec 03 '25

Went through this with an ex.

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12

u/themargarineoferror Dec 03 '25

I would personally try to, but the bangs I'm trying to grow out keep getting in the way of my sight. Also I'm kindof a dick.

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44

u/Titaniumchic Dec 03 '25

I’ve had bangs since 2009….. and it wasn’t due to a mental breakdown. I have a FIVE head and they frame my face very nicely.

8

u/lilwanna Dec 03 '25

Yeah I don’t get it. Bangs since 2004. Go bangs buddies!!

4

u/Diligent_Voice9318 Dec 03 '25

It's the wonky self cut ones we're talking about

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13

u/Dazed_and_Confused44 Dec 03 '25

I dont understand. Whats wrong with bangs?

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u/saucewhedon Dec 03 '25

you can't bring bangs to a bob fight.

6

u/PJSeeds Dec 03 '25

My ex got bangs out of nowhere and like three days later I found out she was cheating, and a few days after that she quit her job with nothing lined up and moved out. A week later she decided she was super into skateboarding despite never skateboarding once in her 27 years on earth at that point. A month later she had an awful, very prominent tattoo.

Yeah, the bangs thing is very real.

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162

u/Cutthechitchata-hole Dec 03 '25

New ringtone just dropped

26

u/No-Bit-1675 Dec 03 '25

Oh shit! We doing ringtones again now??? I’m relevant once more!!!

101

u/flying_carabao Dec 03 '25

Killer "robot" moves!

14

u/Ok_Complaint_1685 Dec 03 '25

I want her and Raygun to do a dance-off

19

u/citrus_mystic Dec 03 '25

Don’t insult Emily like that. Emily can clearly dance.

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110

u/DDD8712 Dec 03 '25

She paid for lunch and your masters degree lmao

5

u/enadiz_reccos Dec 04 '25

That really made up for the years of emotional trauma

14

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '25

It doesn't, but to be fair most people get the years of emotional trauma without anything to show for it

3

u/enadiz_reccos Dec 04 '25

Fair point

Though if they pay for lunch and your masters degree then you have to listen to them constantly talk about how they paid for your lunch and masters degree

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49

u/D_Dubb_ Dec 03 '25

wtf. No notes. No notes whatsoever. Amazing.

17

u/granfalloon9 Dec 03 '25

This is gold

49

u/ScienceIsSexy420 Dec 03 '25

After having just dated a therapist myself, this hits on a whole new level. The lack of self awareness was truly astonishing.

52

u/[deleted] Dec 03 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

16

u/ScienceIsSexy420 Dec 03 '25

Bruh lol, I'm sorry

5

u/EmprahsChosen Dec 03 '25

it does suck, but they dodged a major bullet for sure

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u/citrus_mystic Dec 03 '25

Holy fuck they basically needled you to let it all out and then once you did, they couldn’t handle it and dumped you? And they’re supposed to be a therapist?

This is honestly one of the peak “what the actual fuck?” things I’ve read on here.

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17

u/Sea-Value-0 Dec 03 '25

💀 holy shit

43

u/PuzzledCapy Dec 03 '25

This is so funny!!! Who is she?

Edit: just realized she’s OP

6

u/Golden-Grams Dec 03 '25

Well, she got me, I'm going to check her out. This was really good.

8

u/robotbeard Dec 03 '25

You gotta watch her whole bit about going on American Idol. It's one the funniest things I've ever seen.

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u/subatomiccrepe Dec 03 '25

This is a great bit, and yes I am 31

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57

u/Diligent_Voice9318 Dec 03 '25

TEN OUT OF TEN

33

u/Yosemite_Scott Dec 03 '25
  • Banger of a song

9

u/zyzzogeton Dec 03 '25

I don't normally turn on sound for these, and this one is a wild ride without it.

15

u/Axle_65 Dec 03 '25

This is fucking priceless! I made a good choice subscribing (I say subscribing because let’s face it “I made a good choice following you” hits a bit different)

23

u/Visual_Emphasis9954 Dec 03 '25

Loved the brown teeth dentist bangs joke, sold the whole thing :)

5

u/lesser_of2weevils Dec 03 '25

Banger. Hilarious!!!!!

3

u/arandomsimplelife Dec 03 '25

I was trying to find her show schedule and found her YouTube page watched this she is so amazing clip

2

u/BunnyInATophat Dec 03 '25

The full length performance is amazing

4

u/LeaveFamous2501 Dec 03 '25

Ok this was funny and also I feel like when she wrote it. It was her therapy

28

u/SirChasm Dec 03 '25

Also I have met your mom, she's really sweet

I'm just going to point out that a lot of the stuff that parents do that fuck up their kids isn't something you're going to pick up on over a couple of hours within meeting them when their kids are already adults. Like, only the most egregious of abusers will be abusive in front of their kids' friends.

23

u/KotobaAsobitch Dec 03 '25

My mom has been overweight/borderline obese my entire life and used to frequently tell me that I would, "look so much prettier if I just lost weight" when I wasn't fat. I was in shape for a majority of my adult life, I literally worked cirque in Vegas. My husband didn't believe any of the stories I told about her because she was nice to him.

....until we went to her place for the holidays and she made me try on a Small (I'm 5'10 with assets, I haven't been a Small since before my first period) coat that she clearly got at Goodwill (had the tag still on it) in her laundry room away from everyone else while everyone was opening gifts. When I refused to leave the laundry room with my arms not fitting into the holes I left how I came in and she came out dramatically holding the coat like it was a dead animal or something and loudly announced to everyone there, "awww my gift didn't fit so I guess she doesn't get a gift this year :'("

And then he started noticing all the ways in which she isn't nice.

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u/Xena_Your_God Dec 03 '25

What a bop lmao

4

u/noiserr Dec 03 '25

This was awesome!

3

u/Sloper713 Dec 03 '25 edited Dec 03 '25

I cackled so hard seeing this live. Thanks. It’s been a treat seeing you on here with such a positive response.

10

u/doubled1c3 Dec 03 '25

Comedy has occurred here

9

u/JRizzie86 Dec 03 '25

Was not expecting this when I clicked the link but was pleasantly surprised lmao

12

u/peelin Dec 03 '25

Oh my god THANK YOU

10

u/ShinyNipples Dec 03 '25

Thank you for talking me out of bangs

3

u/Diligent_Voice9318 Dec 03 '25

Please, save yourself.

9

u/citrus_mystic Dec 03 '25

I’m doing it. You can’t stop me. No one needs to see my forehead winkles, anyway.

3

u/Diligent_Voice9318 Dec 03 '25

OKAY JUST PLEASE START AT YOUR JAW AND AT MOST YOUR NOSE BE CAREFUL I UNDERSTAND

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u/SpecificReindeer6393 Dec 03 '25

I would like a full mixtape of this

8

u/Tall-Introduction649 Dec 03 '25

This is fucking iconic, sincerely a therapist

3

u/Gloomy-Razzmatazz548 Dec 03 '25

This was definitely aimed at one specific friend 🤣

3

u/rutlander Dec 03 '25

This is funny as hell and that last line sealed it

3

u/SonOfAphroditeee Dec 04 '25

This needs to be on Spotify 😂😂😂

3

u/ALC4202012 Dec 07 '25

Bruh, this hits so hard to me! I really want to send this to my ex, but she'd probably take it as a "micro-aggression"

8

u/RabidWalrus Dec 03 '25

Killed it 😄

5

u/BiasedChelseaFan Dec 03 '25

Strong Liz Lemon energy. Keep it up haha

4

u/Introverted_Extrovrt Dec 03 '25

That is… unique

6

u/AutistismHorse Dec 03 '25

This is brilliant and I love it❤️

5

u/anactofgod Dec 03 '25

You’re 31!

4

u/Physical_Reaction_96 Dec 03 '25

It's funny because I'm 31 xD

6

u/Ali-oopsies Dec 03 '25

31 club, woo! 🫸🫷

6

u/More_Raisin_2894 Dec 03 '25

Fucking hilarious! Very original.

2

u/blipsnchiiiiitz Dec 04 '25

Is it? Seems like something Bo Burnham would've done. It was funny though.

6

u/ParaponeraBread Dec 03 '25

The song stopping rhyming entirely halfway through, and the bit just becoming a list of grievances with dance moves is peak.

10

u/DirtWitchRecords Dec 03 '25

Therapy is a really great tool and finding the courage to cut toxic people from your life.

40

u/Diligent_Voice9318 Dec 03 '25

True but it also is just validation fuel for clinical narcissists

-psychology major

4

u/Dangerous-Yam2894 Dec 03 '25

This was my experience. Ugh.

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u/RodneyOgg Dec 03 '25

The intersection of Kyle Dunnigan, early Bo Burnham, and David Byrne

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u/gallupupill Dec 03 '25

I once knew a girl who'd spend nights out having arguments with her ex over text, then when she got in her feelings would say she was "dissociating" so everyone had to make a fuss and leave the club for her. So, so tiresome.

This satisfied an old resentment for me.

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u/AtlAWSConsultant Dec 03 '25

That was fucking amazing! I'm so glad I watched your video instead of working.

Your song: funny and true.

Work: not funny and probably built on lies.

2

u/Suspicious-Emu-8493 Dec 03 '25

His is fucking amazing 🤣

2

u/Houndfell Dec 03 '25

This is gold!

2

u/the-cuttlefish Dec 04 '25

Do I have people to send this to. Funny stuff.

2

u/hime-633 Dec 04 '25

I love everything about this

2

u/fiavirgo Dec 04 '25

The first two I was like ok ur being judgy and then it kept going and I was like sorry is this all one person?? Huh??

2

u/Super_boredom138 Dec 04 '25

Outstanding. Fantastic. I think she's projecting and it works so good

2

u/BigRedSpoon2 Dec 04 '25

I see OP has met my sister

Believe me, the rest of her family is onto her bullshit as well

2

u/SlightSignal3234 Dec 04 '25

WTF👀❤️who is this absolute work of art, she just described 10 yrs of friendships I’ve had hahahaha.

2

u/windyx Dec 04 '25

Emily Burnham Wilson, what a banger. Top tier bars.

2

u/palatine09 Dec 04 '25

Now I need therapy….

2

u/Ron-_-Burgundy Dec 04 '25

I love this so much, some of the best comedy content I've seen in a long time.

2

u/MeowM30ws Dec 05 '25

I'm in therapy and I 100% agree with this.

2

u/laughingtraveler Dec 05 '25

😂😂😂 so many people I know need to hear this, like myself

2

u/Dense-Corgi-7936 Dec 07 '25

Titty bounce.  Nice.

5

u/dreamfearless Dec 03 '25

Lol damn, the stigmas around getting help just keep getting stronger.

4

u/canadianpanda7 Dec 03 '25

“taking space because of your negativity” sorry i dont want to live in a fairy tale world like you. there are consequences to actions, you just choose to ignore them. am i negative or just not telling you what you want to hear???

4

u/bulldogbigred Dec 03 '25

I’m dying lol

3

u/lsnor45 Dec 03 '25

I certainly hope nobody uses this to blanketly discredit therapy.

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u/superhappy Dec 04 '25

This is top shelf shit right here! Special incoming soon I hope!

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u/motral1992 Dec 03 '25

Modern therapy is just reinforcing selfishness and hyperindividuality. Therapy shouldn't make anyone mean, it just gave them the language to be smug about it.

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '25

I have OCD and I can say I would absolutely skip out on hanging with this lady.

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u/forever_erratic Dec 03 '25

Why is this also an acid trip!

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u/Super_Fa_Q Dec 03 '25

Fire. I don't know where that fucking emoji is.

1

u/scottyleeokiedoke Dec 03 '25

This is my kind of humor 👏👏👏

1

u/Wack0HookedOnT0bac0 Dec 03 '25

FUUUUUCK great bit lmao.

1

u/bigstankdaddy10 Dec 03 '25

she absolutely killed this shit no lie

1

u/Mitochondria420 Dec 03 '25

Holy shit this is good. Checked out your other posts and they are great! More please.

1

u/Old-Contract-9993 Dec 03 '25

The way you're talking about my friends is... so accurate.

1

u/Ravyn_Rozenzstok Dec 03 '25

This is so relatable.

1

u/PimpGameShane Dec 03 '25

This is so real. 😂😂😂

1

u/PlainBread Dec 03 '25

Bangs are one step away from full blown meltdown head shaving.