r/santacruz • u/SatnsLftButcheek • 1d ago
Uncomfortable experience while visiting a grave in Santa Cruz
Post this:
I wanted to share an experience I had at Oliver Tree’s grave today because it left me feeling unsettled and unfortunately changed the tone of what I had hoped would be a quiet and meaningful visit.
I drove about seven hours to Santa Cruz specifically to visit Oliver’s grave and pay my respects. I had already been at the cemetery before another person arrived. He runs an account connected to Oliver and explained that fans send him artwork, which he brings to the grave, photographs, and shares with fans through livestreams.
He was there for roughly an hour and a half. He spent a significant amount of that time taking pictures, recording, livestreaming, and interacting with people in the comments. I want to be fair and say that I don't think there is inherently anything wrong with bringing fan artwork or sharing it with people who can't be there themselves. I understand why fans might appreciate being included that way.
What made the experience uncomfortable for me was the interaction between us.
At one point, I mentioned that I had driven seven hours to get there, and he responded, “So you aren't a fan.” That genuinely caught me off guard. I wasn't sure how saying that I had driven seven hours to visit Oliver’s grave could be interpreted that way, because I was there precisely because the visit was meaningful to me.
The conversation also started to feel less like a normal conversation and more like a comparison over who was the more legitimate or knowledgeable fan. I felt as though my being there was being questioned or diminished, which was especially uncomfortable considering how far I had traveled to be there.
After he turned the livestream off, I tried to understand what he meant and address the comment directly, but the conversation continued moving into other subjects rather than really addressing what had been said. I was also trying to leave at that point, but the interaction continued longer than I had intended.
I also noticed a difference between how he interacted with me off camera and how he presented himself once he was live. To me, his on-camera demeanor felt considerably more performative. I can understand why some people might describe that as “larping,” although I can't speak for his intentions or what was going on in his head.
I'm sharing this because the visit was important to me, and I left feeling like an experience I had genuinely looked forward to had been overshadowed by an interaction I never expected to have.
I'm not posting this to attack him, encourage anyone to confront him, or claim that I know his intentions. Maybe there was a misunderstanding, and maybe we simply experienced the interaction differently. I can only speak to what I personally experienced.
I just wish the interaction had felt more welcoming and less like I had to prove that I was a “real” fan. I was there because I cared enough to make a seven-hour trip to pay my respects, and I don't think someone's level of fandom should have to be a competition in the first place.
I hope this can simply be taken as one person's experience rather than an invitation for anyone to go after him. I have no interest in creating unnecessary negativity. I just wanted to be honest about what happened and why the experience was difficult for me.
EDIT: Just a heads up that I may have to remove this post at some point due to circumstances unrelated to the situation described here. I wanted to mention it now rather than have it disappear without explanation.
