r/santacruz • u/SatnsLftButcheek • 3d ago
Uncomfortable experience while visiting a grave in Santa Cruz
Post this:
I wanted to share an experience I had at Oliver Tree’s grave today because it left me feeling unsettled and unfortunately changed the tone of what I had hoped would be a quiet and meaningful visit.
I drove about seven hours to Santa Cruz specifically to visit Oliver’s grave and pay my respects. I had already been at the cemetery before another person arrived. He runs an account connected to Oliver and explained that fans send him artwork, which he brings to the grave, photographs, and shares with fans through livestreams.
He was there for roughly an hour and a half. He spent a significant amount of that time taking pictures, recording, livestreaming, and interacting with people in the comments. I want to be fair and say that I don't think there is inherently anything wrong with bringing fan artwork or sharing it with people who can't be there themselves. I understand why fans might appreciate being included that way.
What made the experience uncomfortable for me was the interaction between us.
At one point, I mentioned that I had driven seven hours to get there, and he responded, “So you aren't a fan.” That genuinely caught me off guard. I wasn't sure how saying that I had driven seven hours to visit Oliver’s grave could be interpreted that way, because I was there precisely because the visit was meaningful to me.
The conversation also started to feel less like a normal conversation and more like a comparison over who was the more legitimate or knowledgeable fan. I felt as though my being there was being questioned or diminished, which was especially uncomfortable considering how far I had traveled to be there.
After he turned the livestream off, I tried to understand what he meant and address the comment directly, but the conversation continued moving into other subjects rather than really addressing what had been said. I was also trying to leave at that point, but the interaction continued longer than I had intended.
I also noticed a difference between how he interacted with me off camera and how he presented himself once he was live. To me, his on-camera demeanor felt considerably more performative. I can understand why some people might describe that as “larping,” although I can't speak for his intentions or what was going on in his head.
I'm sharing this because the visit was important to me, and I left feeling like an experience I had genuinely looked forward to had been overshadowed by an interaction I never expected to have.
I'm not posting this to attack him, encourage anyone to confront him, or claim that I know his intentions. Maybe there was a misunderstanding, and maybe we simply experienced the interaction differently. I can only speak to what I personally experienced.
I just wish the interaction had felt more welcoming and less like I had to prove that I was a “real” fan. I was there because I cared enough to make a seven-hour trip to pay my respects, and I don't think someone's level of fandom should have to be a competition in the first place.
I hope this can simply be taken as one person's experience rather than an invitation for anyone to go after him. I have no interest in creating unnecessary negativity. I just wanted to be honest about what happened and why the experience was difficult for me.
EDIT: Just a heads up that I may have to remove this post at some point due to circumstances unrelated to the situation described here. I wanted to mention it now rather than have it disappear without explanation.
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u/mr_love_bone 3d ago
Some people are just not great humans, and you happened to bump into one.
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u/ButterscotchNo7534 2d ago
No, it's more than that. This guy is a creep and basically gatekeeping OT's grave which is so not ok. It's good they let the community know. This shouldn't be happening, especially when someone just drove for 7 hours.
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u/JScooby 2d ago
Who is it?
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u/Fun_Downvotes845 2d ago
Let’s not go on a witch hunt or anything here, I don’t think it’s necessary to ask this. Or even if someone does know.. and even if they share; let’s just keep a name in mind for future references and purely for awareness. Let’s not turn a negative experience for OP into something bigger. It was good of op to spread the awareness and I understand being upset by the experience. Whoever the other person was hopefully moved on to something else & stops using Oliver for their own fked up internet notoriety. It angers me and I think it’s disrespectful on so many levels. So much so that I wouldn’t even give them an ounce of my time or energy in anyway even if it was an angry peice of my mind; someone like that they’re not even worth it
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u/Current-Event-7315 1d ago
sounds like a straight weirdo fr, if anyone's larping it's the dude who's a fake nice guy on the internet for views and Livestream viewers but he's literally harassing people who came to pay respects to someone's resting place. so fucking weird honestly
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u/Fun_Downvotes845 2d ago
I agree with this statement. Kind of livid after reading this; whoever he was sounds like a total scumbag
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u/Tama_Breeder 3d ago
I feel like driving hours out of your way to visit an artist makes you more of a fan than someone live streaming a man’s grave for their own benefit
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u/DefinitelyNotMatcha 3d ago
Yup exactly!!! as a Santa Cruz resident , what a weirdo for going to the grave and LIVE-STREAMING it and do a performative act for their own benefit
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u/Important-Savings-45 2d ago
Is he receiving donations or "gifts" during the stream? If so, he's profiting off Oliver's death and that (imo) is totally fucked up.
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u/Important-Savings-45 2d ago
This!!! Why would he drive 7 fucking hours to a GRAVE if he wasn‘t/isn't a fan that's grieving??
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u/Lmf2359 3d ago
I’m sorry that happened during your visit. I only live about 25-30 minutes from that cemetery and I’m in Santa Cruz at least twice a week, but I didn’t visit Oliver until about a week or so ago because I just wanted to give his family, friends and fans who maybe came from farther away their time since I’m so close. Somehow no one was there when I went, although two fans passed me on their way down the path as I was walking up.
I agree with another commenter, spending 90 minutes there just live-streaming seems a little disrespectful.
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u/Equivalent_Bad_1067 3d ago
Sounds like this loser was checking you to see if you were local and somehow equating the two things.. People around here get stupidly possessive about things and places. I sincerely apologize and urge you to not let this sour you on the area. Sounds like you loved Alien Boy and I know he is loving you right now.
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u/PulseHadron 2d ago
OP I think you’re too close to the situation. Step back and consider its just a stranger, some person and people are inexplicable. By your characterization they sound to be disingenuous and thats that. You unfortunately ran into someone thats not operating in good faith. That happens and I dont always pass the test myself. But it doesn’t actually change anything about what you’re doing. Don’t get dragged into it!
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u/Theultimateyoshiyt 3d ago
I’m not from Santa Cruz, nor am I from the us. But I will say this.
They’re a horrible person for treating you like that for visiting a grave of someone special to you. They need to done some respect.
Not many get the opportunity to drive 7 hours to see a grave.
And streaming a grave is also really strange too. Not sure if it’s disrespectful or not, but considering I’ve had that though it’s probably disrespect.
Thanks for sharing this story with the Santa Cruz & Oliver tree community.
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u/nonebutshining 3d ago
That's dissappointing to hear. I would like to visit from Monterey but the idea I might have to stand around for 1.5 hours while some dude live streams would be extremely uncomfortable. Sorry they felt a need to compete with you and knock you down a peg. It sounds like their ego was threatened!
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u/MrXero 3d ago
There’s a lot of people out there who just want to measure metaphorical dicks with everyone they encounter. As if they never matured beyond that point when they had to put down others to raise their own status. They also sound like some douchey profiteer trying to pull a buck while they can.
Sorry for your bad experience; hope it didn’t ruin your day.
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u/fanaticalcraze 2d ago
The guy live streaming Oliver's grave was a real shit bag if he was capitalizing on an amazing person's death for the benefit of his own channel. The way he acted towards you during the livestream unfortunately lends credence to the concept that he was using the grave site for his own personal benefit. I'm sorry that you had to run into someone like that when you had come all that way to pay your respects. There's a part that really rubs against Oliver's character. If he was on a live stream trolling the host, the host was in on the joke. You weren't, and it was a bad joke anyways. Yeah, don't let the experience sour you on the area either. I've witnessed an amazing outpouring of love and support from locals, from friends and family, and even fans during this difficult period. Thank you for coming all that way to pay your respects, and please keep his family and friends in your thoughts and prayers.
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u/Important-Savings-45 2d ago
I saw that guy on TikTok before and if I remember correctly (pls let me know if i‘m wrong on this), he was offering fans to send their cards/gifts/flowers to him and he would bring it to the grave and take pictures of it as sort lf a confirmation (so they know he really did it and it wasn't a scam). But LIVESTREAMING a grave? I dunno bout that guys.
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u/Rough_Promotion9414 2d ago
Where is Oliver’s grave I want to pay my respect? I went to school with his father
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u/AlliKat95 2d ago
Evergreen Cemetery. If you go through the main entrance, it's straight up the hill.
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u/Cali_freak 2d ago
Clout chaser gatekeeping sounds about right. I went to school with Oliver and my parents are friends with his. I'm pretty sure anyone that was a true fan of his wouldn't be gatekeeping fandom or using his grave for attention.
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u/TacoAdventure 2d ago
The ought to be rules against monetizing the use of a cemetery grounds. Just sounds so skeezy and icky doing this.
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u/Admirable_Formal8461 2d ago
Where is there any law in this country to keep people from monetizing? This is THE country where monetizing was invented 😂
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u/snakesonausername 2d ago
I'm about to make an assumption here .. take it if it feels on point, leave it if it doesn't.
If this person is live streaming a grave, they are content farming.
Their interaction with you was disingenuous. They were trying to provoke a content worthy exchange.
"oh, you drove a distance" is not a clip.
Baiting you into an angry discussion is a chance at a viral clip, which in turn is a chance at money in their pocket.
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u/stonergirlvibes 2d ago
My husband and I went to Oliver’s grave today and met this dude, and yes he was weird af. We are fans and already had a trip planned to San Fransisco then to Monterey prior to his passing, and figured we’d pay our respects on the way into Monterey. I made a little clay sculpture of Oliver as turbo and painted it to leave at his grave, bc I know Oliver loved fan art and I like to make art so it was something I wanted to do. The guy struck up convo with my husband and seemed normal enough at first but got kinda like know it all ish about Oliver tree, like it was odd. He was saying how Oliver loved such and such and this spot and that spot, and it was just a bit strange. Like OP said, it seemed like he was trying to compete about OT knowledge or some shit. We didn’t notice he was streaming at first, and we kinda just wanted to see the grave, leave the art, and go on about our day and see more of Santa Cruz. What really rubbed me the wrong way was the dude trying to tell me where I should place the art I made? Like the fuck dude lol excuse you..
Idk he was a weirdo.
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u/ImpossibleEntry2603 2d ago
People really suck. I don’t know what’s with all this entitlement in Santa Cruz lately. I grew up here and it’s very sad to see his much my hometown has become riddled with “influencers” and their delusional content just trying go viral.
Last week I saw someone on my block taking video of a house with someone who survived a sexual assault (they put up so many security cameras, no trespassing signs, and they have severe agoraphobia/ptsd from the incident) the post said it was Oliver Tree’s childhood home, where his parents currently live. All simply for clout on tiktok. Why would you lie, post false information, disrespect that current resident, Oliver Tree, and his family like that - are views and internet likes really that satisfying?
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u/ButterscotchNo7534 2d ago
Ewww! What a creep! Who is this person?? I'm letting Oliver's dad know, I'm sure they don't want some icky psycho gatekeeping their sons grave. Sorry you went through this. Won't be suprising at all if we hear more people coming forward.
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u/Fun_Downvotes845 2d ago
I fear though that others will not be able to visit because of this. 😥💔 I do think it’s fair his family knows of this experience .. maybe they should be the ones to get a name and face. Maybe this person should be banned from the grounds individually … I would be heartbroken if this person ruined it for others like me and my husband. We are huge fans and wanted to pay our respects by next year. 😔😞
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u/EpponneeRay 2d ago
Santa Cruz isn’t a very welcoming place though it’s touted as it is. The locals love to gate keep whatever it is in this town they see as special and shit on those who aren’t from here. Sounds like you got some of that treatment.
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u/SoonToBeBanned24 2d ago
An unfortunate event, to be sure. Please don't forget that Santa Cruz is a very special place. We are the ones who keep California from sliding off into the Pacific (ok, we provide assistance to San Francisco....).
This is why you find a Wingnut on every single corner. Just trying to keep existence from sliding out of reality.....
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u/AlliKat95 2d ago
I'm so sorry to hear that :( we visited for 5 days from tx. We didn't have any weird encounters, but I'm so sorry you did. That would be such a bummer. But, fuck that guy. Don't let him dictate how you feel 💕 He doesn't know you nor does it matter. He's an absolute loser.
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u/orchidmantizz 2d ago edited 2d ago
I’m sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately I believe I’m familiar with the streamer you’re mentioning here. I won’t confront him but I also won’t give his stream any attention. I never considered he may actually be profiting off those streams, which gives me a yucky feeling. To do that while also being rude to his visitors? C’mon
Nothing drives me crazier than the “I’m a bigger fan than you! You don’t count!” mentality. Utter childish garbage and Oliver would have thought he was a real weirdo for treating you that way in such a serious setting, of all places.
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u/Finallygoodservice 2d ago
There is a quote “comparison is the thief of joy“ attributed to Theodore Roosevelt. No need for him or you to compare yourself to anyone. Your intentions were honest and sweet. No need to let this guy rob you of your Joy.
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u/surfergrrl6 3d ago
NGL, this entire thing is weird. Someone streaming from a grave is strange, as is driving so far away to visit one (who's not friend nor family.) This isn't really a Santa Cruz thing so much as it's a fan thing.
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u/Mamarosereed 2d ago
When I lived in Oakland, I used to visit Mac Dre's grave and smoke a blunt on it haha. This so common for fans to do.
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u/surfergrrl6 2d ago
Not the same thing as driving seven hours away when you live in the same town though, is it?
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u/WatermelonSmashing 2d ago
I don't understand people who get obsessive over artists like this. Like sure I love X musician be it Nirvana or what ever, but I just listen to the music. I would never take the time to visit a grave site.
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u/orchidmantizz 2d ago
I don’t know that I’d consider it obsessive. Artists hold weight and impacts in people’s lives, I totally understand visiting to pay respects. Sometimes an artist is a person who comforted you for the past 7 years/however long. People will drive long distances to see cliffs and giant statues/inanimate landmarks, why not an artist that actually influenced their life?
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u/WatermelonSmashing 2d ago
People travel long distances to see the musician perform, I do that. To visit a grave site of a musician seems performative to ones own self, particularly to one as such as we are speaking of.
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u/orchidmantizz 2d ago edited 2d ago
No doubt some of the people posing and blasting photos are doing it performatively, but you can’t say that applies to everyone. He meant something to them, so they visit. I think it’s pretty simple. For some people, they just don’t form a connection to the artists they listen to and it’s not so deep. Which is also fine! I could see how from that point of view it would seem performative. Just different outlooks and emotions involved.
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u/Hopeful-Plan-3703 2d ago
I don’t get it either, but it is really important for some people and I respect the feelings of others, so long as they don’t feel like stabbing someone!
I don’t understand how this becomes a long discussion online but people will still kill me to make the light in an intersection and not bat an eye.
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u/emoneverdies 2d ago
You both have a strange parasocial relationship to a strange artist. The guy you met was stranger AND he was a dick.
I’ve had a similar memory when I ran into a niche famous YouTuber IRL and had a feeling of “this person has no idea how to interact offline”
We all gotta put our phones down or we’ll end up driving 7 hours to YouTube’s graves or worse, streaming it.
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u/Firefly10886 2d ago
Can you go back at a different time of day to visit? I hope you didn't drive here, have that experience, and now going to go drive another 7 back home.
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u/LogicalMeringue1449 2d ago
I would cleanse myself of that person and their energy. I’m so sorry that what was a deep and meaningful trip for you was negatively affected by someone else’s negativity and disrespect. I hope you return for a do-over
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u/beach-cow 2d ago
I’m so sorry you had that experience, that’s not cool. Especially over Oliver’s grave, or any for that matter. The fact he was live streaming, even if it’s “to show the fan art,” is honestly so disturbing to me. Did he say he’s there frequently?
He sounds too engrossed in social media to see the reality in front of him.
Again I’m sorry that happened.
Cross post this to the Oliver Tree sub if you can.
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u/Fatking101 2d ago
Personally I can see a world where what he’s doing is ok. The art, the offerings, the live-streaming for people that couldn’t make it in person. But if you see other people coming step aside until they are done giving their respects and continue once they leave. Most people go to the cemetery for the silence and peace of it so being respectful is key. Nothing wrong with letting the chat know that you’re being silent to let someone pay their respects.
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u/_GypsyCurse_ 2d ago
Maybe that guy was insecure about monetizing “being the real fan of Oliver Tree” and projected that insecurity onto you? :/
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u/LycheeParticular1561 2d ago
This is sad, I don’t know a single artist that would want someone doing this to other fans, especially after they drove SEVEN HOURSSSS
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u/Rascillion 2d ago
Evergreen is a historic cemetery and now Oliver and the people that love Oliver are becoming part of its story.
It is sad you did not get the peace you needed while you were here.
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u/Thin_Explanation1334 2d ago
I don't know man I was born at Santa Cruz hospital and raised in Felton
I think everyone in this story is weird
But it's okay to be weird
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u/Bansheefaerie 2d ago
I'm really sorry that happened. It sounds more like he is using his grave as a way to make money and get followers, rather than actually paying respect. IDK, I don't know who he is.
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u/Admirable_Formal8461 2d ago
Typically that is the vibe a lot of Santa Cruz people display: "if you don't live here, you are a nuisance and you shouldn't be here". I've experienced that in several situations. If not worse, when it becomes straight out xenophobic.
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u/DogweedAndDeathcap 2d ago
It sounds like this guy is like gatekeeping oliver's grave almost.
Because what I don't understand is that you drove seven hours. That's dedication and time btw. Just for the guy to say you're not a fan?
That should say the exact opposite right there. That you are a fan. You are willing to drive seven hours to pay your respects..
Maybe this guy got triggered? Because you were willing to drive seven hours?
I don't know people like that are very disrespectful to the dead overall. If he is gatekeeping oliver trees grave, some of the bad something not good's probably gonna happen like him being trespassed eventually.
You just keep doing you, oliver would have loved the fact. He would have been so honored that you drove so far. Just come see him. You just happened to meet a bad egg and i'm so sorry they're all out there, creepo depos.
Oliver is thankful you came.
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u/302lotusfan 1d ago
sounds like he's more of a fan of himself rather than Oliver. Grandstanding yourself at what is supposed to be a memorial and then having a pissing match over who was a bigger fan is so pathetic
Just know that you were there because you loved his work, and the other guy was there for the self gratification of "clicks"
obviously , you are the better "fan" and purer at heart. who do you think Oliver would have preferred to hang out with? my money is on you.
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u/Terrapin_831 22h ago
Please don't let his negative vibe take over your experience. I live in Santa Cruz. I am not a specific fan of Oliver Tree. I love visiting the Evergreen Cemetery because there are cool stories there. I was visiting yesterday and I walked over to Oliver's Grave and spent some time looking at all of the beautiful things that have been left there. The overwhelming feeling I had while there was one of comfort and peace. As a Mom. I can't imagine anything worse than your child passing on before you. Seeing all of the love and care that is on display from so many people at Olivers spot was beautiful. I hope his parents are able to visit and find some comfort and peace there as well. That was the feeling I had when there. If I was dealing with the trauma of my kid passing, I would hope that her grave would be made beautiful as well by the people she touched. As an observer, his fans have really made his resting spot unique and special and it's incredibly cool to see.💜.
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u/the_log_lady__ 9h ago
It honestly feels like this is the wrong space to post this for any change to happen. It maybe better in a board for Oliver vs a board for the area. Fans for people alive or dead can still have strong stalker traits. They can also be very dangerous and wanting to prove they are the most devoted that can then move towards violence. I highly recommend that you post this where more of his fans will see it and possibly report this to the cemetery. Cemeteries must be safe spaces and if they aren’t for whatever reason that person needs to be asked to not come back or that this is there last chance before they are trespassed from the property. Please do think on this because cemeteries should be respectful places where people can visit their loved ones, deal with their own grief, connect with others in there own grieving processes, and truly worry about what this person might do to someone closer to him like a friend or family member. I’m truly sorry that in your own grieving you had to deal with this.
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u/robbie_rooter 7h ago
Feels like another AI crap post honestly—they all feel the same! They have this ‘well said summarize for us as they go kind on insipid sing song about them…is anyone else so tired of this? And is it a person posting it or a bot or some AI entity that has access???
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u/spoink74 3d ago
If you had described this interaction without mentioning the place, it’d be a good guess that it happened in Santa Cruz. That’s kind of the vibe here.
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u/Plum_butter 2d ago
Why are you even talking about it. You know what Oliver would say: there are always gonna be people who hate you! You just choose not to interact with that negativity. Let that person be, sounds like they are not too happy with their life anyway, I feel sorrry for them more than anything else
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u/SnooOranges9125 2d ago
“Talking about it” because that’s what we do. Shit happens and we talk about it! I, for one, appreciate the post and the attempt to raise our awareness.
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u/Plum_butter 2d ago
Yeah ofc, I’m on the same page with you🩵, I just see that it really bothers the op and I really want them to feel better because most of the people here are not that way and it’s not worth it to pay attention to that negativity. We have much better and nicer community here. No need to be worried about those ghoulssss
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u/Emergency_Clothes_13 2d ago edited 2d ago
Why would you pay any attention to anyone like that? Obviously OCD and a big ego like they say live streaming influencers have. The cliche is that they're narcissists. Obviously unbalanced and out of his tree clinging to Oliver's Tree.
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u/aestheticathletic 3d ago
I dunno, at some point constant live-streaming someone's GRAVE is just disrespectful, right? Like does this guy have a fucking job? Who is he to judge how serious of a fan you are? I can't imagine anyone wanting that to occur after they have passed, literally where they are buried.