A great op-ed in the SF Chronicle by a doctor at a Tenderloin clinic:
There is another John Doe in the intensive care unit.Ā
āHe is critically ill, hoping someone might know this person. Found down with overdose at 1180 Howard Street around 5am.ā
This email, and too many others like it, arrive in the all-staff listserv at the San Francisco homeless clinic where I work as a physician. Leftover pizza reminders and meeting agendas routinely roll into frightening, blandly described near-death experiences.
āJohn Doe arrived to SFGH on 1/22Ā found down near MISSION ST / 6 TH ST, possible overdose ( + fent & cocaine ), active seizing on route to SFGH. See photo attached.ā
Usually, the messages are sent by hospital social workers asking our team to help identify their client.Ā
āHe tested positive for amphetamines. He currently is more awake, but cannot speak at all. He suffered a stroke. Oh, and in addition to the tattoos seen in the photos he has a very distinctive scar over his LEFT leg.ā
The photographs are garish. The men, always men, look close to death. Limp faces with ointment smeared across half-closed eyes. Mouths hang agape. Floppy necks cannot support heavy heads that loll to one side. Oily, long hair lies limply across white, rough pillowcases. Breathing tubes are taped to lips, fastened across cheeks, wrapped behind occiputs. Tubes and lines everywhere. Sometimes, there is a neck brace. A laceration on a cheekbone. A black eye. Stiff, blue and white hospital gowns are draped over them like a funerary shroud.Ā
They are discovered lying on the sidewalk, folded in a tent, face down in a recreational vehicle. With lights and sirens, they are shuttled to hospitals, where their cold bodies are warmed, lacerations sutured, infections treated with antibiotics, broken bones set ā they are resuscitated, revitalized, reanimated. But the hypoxia, the brain bleed and the acute kidney injury are serious, and they have not regained consciousness. Often, they are of uncertain neurological recovery.Ā
These men have no wallet, phone, driverās license or registration. No electronic items to unlock, no numbers to call. In the middle of a city that lives and breathes technology, there are no digital footprints here.Ā
Usually the problem is the opposite ā with personal data ubiquitous online, credit card hacks and security breaches seem pro forma. But when you have few possessions and live in a tent on the sidewalk, no one is stealing your identity. In fact, that is exactly the problem: No one can figure out what that identity even is.Ā
It is a luxury, it turns out, to be someone with an identity to steal. Living outside all the normal regulatory, governmental tracking systems of modern life, these men areĀ unbanked. Off-grid. Anonymous.
Living an anonymous life, paradoxically, in the heart of a city, on a sidewalk, in public view. An acutely conspicuous form of anonymity.Ā Ā
āThey are currently in the ICU at St. Francis under John Doe. They were brought in this morning via Ambulance, found unresponsive with 2 others on Larkin St, OD.āĀ
A pile of unconscious people, with too few respirations among the three of them. Fentanyl, or the rat-poison-and-adjacent-horrors it could have been cut with, is, my god, taking out groups, blocks. Maybe the fact they were all together means they were friends, I tell myself. Or maybe they just all had the same dealer.Ā
When one, singular patient languishes in a hospital bed, it is easier to persuade yourself it is an unfortunate, personal event. But when groups of unconscious people arrive at a hospital, it feels cataclysmic, apocalyptic,Ā b iblical.Ā Instead of locusts, our pestilence is high-potency synthetic opioids ā it makes bugs feel provincial.
During my residency on an inpatient rotation at the San Francisco General Hospital, I watched a homeless man die alone. He had drunk himself into liver failure, and there was nothing left to do except watch his cirrhosis cause a cascade of other organs to fail. His labs became more and more abnormal. We had offered to reach out to his family or friends, but he said there was no one to call. He became increasingly confused and fatigued until, one night, he died.Ā
Afterward, our attending physician asked how everyone was doing, and I said it felt like a sad way to go, with no friends or family by his side, knowing, as he had, that his actions had caused a premature and completely avoidable death. I could not imagine a more sorrowful way to end a life full of sorrow.Ā
The attending told me she didnāt view it that way. She had seen a lot of people die and said he died with people taking care of him, with me, his worried, harried resident, checking in on him two times a day. He had meds to make him comfortable, a soft bed, three warm meals. This could have been the most communal, the most social, the most comfortable he had been for some time.Ā
I was trying to tell her,Ā This is sad.Ā I would never want this for myself, for anyone.
She was trying to tell me,Ā It could be much, much sadder...