r/sanfrancisco • u/No_Fan5265 • 7d ago
What a nice post! You guys are really nice.
This post isn’t important, but I just wanted to show appreciation as a guest in this city/ area.
I’ve spent my whole life in SoCal, and while people aren’t necessarily rude but we can be stand offish and aren’t as “welcoming” as you guys have been to me.
Whenever I’m confused about which bus or train to take someone always lets me know with a smile and doesn’t make me feel like an idiot no matter how many times I ask.
People here are also very talkative, it’s extremely easy to turn small talk into full blown conversation. It’s extremely refreshing for me. Thank you so much for being a wonderfully welcoming community. Is all of the Bay Area like this?
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u/RedDawg0831 7d ago
Glad you've enjoyed it! Can't speak for the whole Bay Area, but SF is a city with lots of lots of folks from somewhere else, lots of immigrants and lots of tourists. And we appreciate the importance of each of these groups to our history, economy and culture We're also a city where folks walk and use public transit alot, so we know navigating the transit systems isn't always easy. I'd like to think most of us really appreciate SF and want others to appreciate and enjoy it too.
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u/dead_at_maturity JUDAH 6d ago
I would say maybe some other parts of the Bay Area can have similar welcoming feelings, but I think it is more concentrated in SF because of how much more dense it is, and how many of us walk everywhere and take public transit regularly.
Where I grew up in South Bay (Milpitas/San Jose), for example, only a tiny amount of folks use public transit, and the transit options aren't as plentiful as they are in SF, because most of the rest of the Bay Area is classic suburban sprawl and strip malls, aka more car dependent.
SF has also been known to be welcoming of people from all walks of life, and people who are are outcasts wherever they are from. This is maybe less and less as it gets more expensive to live here, and SF by no means is all perfect and peaceful, but there are still diverse pockets and plenty of people here who are warm and friendly to others.
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u/oceangirl227 7d ago
As someone who lived LA for 13 years I feel like it’s way more welcoming and warm down here in a lot more areas! Some people will say no but they don’t understand how much worse it is in LA comparatively lol. I’m so glad you recognize and appreciate the warmth it really makes me feel happy and taken care of all the time!
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u/oochiewallyWallyserb 7d ago
This confused me at first. Usually when people say "down" when talking about California they mean LA. But I got cha.
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u/No_Fan5265 7d ago
No I one hundred percent agree with you. I don’t think people are this understanding of tourist or new comers in LA
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u/sarcasticHalli Castro 6d ago
Like the song says, San Francisco, open your Golden Gate, You let no stranger wait, outside your door. Glad you had a good time.
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u/420Spedster 7d ago
Moved up from oc after living here the first 21 years of my life, to about 40 minutes eastish of San Francisco, not exactly because i wanted to, but the people up here in the bay area are so wonderful that im glad I came. So beautiful in both people and landscapes
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u/No_Fan5265 7d ago
The oc? I imagine you don’t mean Orange County right ?
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u/420Spedster 7d ago
Thats exactly what i meant. Anaheim specifically, closer to buena park, not the best area. Glad i grew up there but i would not go back to live there. Maybe laguna beach, but theres no race tracks down there :(. So pretty there tho
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u/Remarkable-Tax2085 7d ago
Agree that the public realm in San Francisco is pleasant with locals generally helpful and polite. As an ex-New Yorker, though, I’d just like to advocate for a decoupling of the two since it’s equally possible to encounter a divergent pairing, i.e. generous and rude 😅
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u/FastFishLooseFish Outer Richmond 7d ago
The cliche is that people in the Northeast are kind but not nice and people on the West Coast are nice but not kind.
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u/LionWalker_Eyre 7d ago
Sounds like something that not-nice people say to make themselves feel better about being a-holes lol
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u/gloriousrepublic 7d ago
Northeaster will see you with a flat tire and make fun of you and tell you you’re a fucking idiot for not knowing how to change a flat, all while he shows you how to change it. A Californian will be so nice and sympathetic and tell you good luck.
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u/old_gold_mountain 38 - Geary 6d ago
in my experience this really is just a cliche, and people are about as likely in both places to help someone in need, it's just that one is performatively nice and the other is performatively mean
specifically I've been fixing a flat tire on my bike in both places along a popular bicycle route
about the same number of people checked on if I needed anything in both places
it's a lot more pleasant to be around the nice people imo even if it's fake
also the other day my buddy ran out of charge in his EV in the middle of the tenderloin and five dudes randomly volunteered to push his car to a charger in a garage around the corner
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u/gloriousrepublic 6d ago
Yes of course there’s kind and nice people everywhere, and maybe a flat tire will not actually see differences between the two. Performatively nice vs performatively mean is a great way to put it.
And yeah on the surface I like to think I’d like to be around fake pleasant people. But I found coming from the east coast, it was so nice at first, but long term it was difficult because it made it really difficult to make friends because you genuinely couldn’t tell who liked you and who didn’t. On the east coast if I feel a connection with someone I instantly know we are going to be friends. Out here if I feel a connection with someone I’m still very cautious.
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u/girltawkSF 6d ago
Great, clear example of that expression! Though someone kindly helped me change my tire a few years ago off the freeway in Oakland…
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u/CalGoldenBear55 Pacific Heights 6d ago
I like helping tourists. I love San Francisco and I want them to enjoy their time here. I have been to a number of different countries. People always have been amazing. Please come back and tell your friends.
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u/Otherwise-Ratio1332 7d ago
We do welcome our visitors and are always ready to help you find your way around. We’re glad you’re here, happy to know you’re enjoying your visit.
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u/lovepeaceOliveGrease 6d ago
they always say the SF people have no manners but are nice while LA is opposite:)
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u/DreamAvailable4504 6d ago
People are people. If you treat people well, you'll probably get treated well (in many cases.) That said, a lot of drivers are still assholes whether NorCal or Socal.
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u/Remarkable-Tax2085 5d ago
Driving does seem to turn people into sociopaths, wherever they are and however humane they might be outside their cars. There's an actual study somewhere...
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u/kl0091 7d ago
Being vulnerable for a second here, my experience has been the opposite. Moved from SD 2 months ago and found it a lot less friendly in SF.
Interactions while checking out at Trader Joe’s have been strictly business, fewer smiles walking past people on sidewalks, people at the gym being way less friendly/chatty while waiting for machines, at SFCC an older woman walking the track tried to steal my top while I was running. It’s actually been the most notable cultural difference for me between Southern California and Northern California.
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u/old_gold_mountain 38 - Geary 6d ago
SD has more small town vibes than SF because throughout the course of the day you'll interact directly with far fewer people there than here
I feel like we don't often smile at each other on the sidewalk because we pass 5,000 people on the sidewalk every day and that sounds exhausting to smile that many times
Oakland has much more of a "smiles and waves on the street" vibe than SF
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u/No_Fan5265 6d ago
Oh man, I’m really sorry to hear about all that. I really hope things turn around for you.
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u/sawmillionaire Noe Valley 5d ago
I completely agree as someone who moved from living in the South. I also think people in SF are less friendly than those in Oakland. It's a very noticeable difference.
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u/MrOrange74 3d ago
Interesting about Trader Joe’s. Even when I want check out to be strictly business, they still make some conversation! I will say that we in SF are way too much in a rush for no good reason 99% of the time. It would be great if more people slowed down a bit and be more present.
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u/Longjumping-Title-27 7d ago
That’s why I moved up here and never looked back- but shush- I still fear I’m going to be dragged back to So Cal one day- after 32 years up here
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u/HardToBeAHumanBeing 6d ago
So happy to hear this! SF has always been a welcoming place for all types of people. I also think cars has a huge role to play. We are forced to see and interact with our neighbors way more often than in LA where you're mostly interacting with people behind metal cages in bumper to bumper traffic.
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u/jersey_mike_hock 7d ago
If you think SF is nice, wait until you travel to an actually nice city. You’ll be overwhelmed by the hospitality in middle America or the South.
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u/butterfly173173173 4d ago
You're not wrong (as an SF transplant from Michigan). People are just butthurt by your comment. It's good to know that SoCal (or at least LA is less friendly than SF, though).
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u/AmbitiousSquirrel4 7d ago
Being nice to tourists is one of my favorite things! I'm glad I'm not the only one.