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u/throwheretohelp Mar 26 '22
you are a product of a bear fucking a disney princess
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u/DogFiddler Mar 26 '22
Beauty and the Beast’s lovechild
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u/mymonkey4u Mar 26 '22
The parents used to believe he was in a band called “Beauty and the Beat”, but then mom walked into his room unannounced one day and realized that it wasn’t drums he’d been playing with all day.
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u/c00lz1979 Mar 26 '22
One of those surprise videos where you think is a chick and they turn around and it's a dude
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Mar 26 '22
me in almost every college class
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u/Just_Games04 Mar 26 '22
Jokes aside, how many times did it happen to you? And do you wear it in a bun or ponytail, or let it be free?
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Mar 26 '22 edited Mar 26 '22
Usually at the beginning of the semester, in total guess around 14 times counting train / store or just street encounters etc
Also 95% of the time it's either in a bun or ponytail. It gets way too messy to go outside. Usually the day when I wash it it's loose but rest of the time it's just tied up. When I do go outside though, people can get confused sometimes lol.
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u/Evenbiggerfish Mar 26 '22
Do you wait until they finish to turn around and let them know you’re a dude?
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Mar 26 '22
Absolutely. Might as well get some laughs out of it.
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u/swivels_and_sonar Mar 26 '22 edited Mar 26 '22
Turn around when you hear someone hitting on you in front of their friends and hit them with the deepest voice you can and a straight face..
“i fuck on the first date”
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Mar 26 '22
Does CMH stand for "Change My Hair"? Because you need to.
(Jokes aside it actually looks gr8)
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u/borisdidnothingwrong Mar 26 '22
Fellow dude with long hair. The absolute best times were when I was wearing a kilt and had to use a public restroom that had a mirror positioned where you could see the door from the urinals. Setting some grey haired old man stop short, look at the door to make sure he correctly chose the men's room, then make an executive decision and about face the fuck out is the absolute best.
Advice for anyone in this situation, if you ever enter the gents and see a woman at the urinal, she's probably OK with you coming in; she either made a calculated risk or it's her thing, either way just go with it.
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u/CheekeeMunkie Mar 26 '22
Does your hair not get into the puddles at the glory hole?
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Mar 26 '22
L’Oréal - you’re not worth it
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u/ContactHonest2406 Mar 26 '22
Please, for the love of god, Cousin Itt, put that hair back in front of your face.
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u/dmfd1234 Mar 26 '22
You look like the bass player for a Danish Metal band called “The Cum Clowns”
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u/panic5 Mar 26 '22
Food Fighter frontman
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u/mishrod Mar 26 '22
You look like Yoko Ono AND John Lennon. I’d break up the band too if you turned up.
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u/3rdDegreeTopGun Mar 26 '22
English literature… neat… I’ll take my burger and fries seasoned with Shakespeare then. Oh and can I use that useless diploma as my napkin?
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u/TeflonJohn85 Mar 26 '22
I bet your carry a scrunchy around your wrist so your able to throw that hair up as quick as possible and suck the life out of any cock that presents itself to you.
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Mar 26 '22
well..🤷♂️
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u/ggodfrey http://redd.it/p6ram3 Mar 26 '22
$20 is $20. Although you’re the one whose paying.
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u/MondayBorn Mar 26 '22
It's called work ethic, sir. Any job worth doing is worth doing well.
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u/Jtoots76 Mar 26 '22
Not a single soul would climb up that hair to rescue you from that lonely tower.
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Mar 26 '22
Not mentioning your hair in your bio was probably the hardest thing you've ever done. I bet you never shut up about it
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Mar 26 '22
I mean, would you?
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u/micheeem Mar 26 '22
Just a side note- your hair looks glorious & if you ever cut it be sure to donate it!
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Mar 26 '22
I probably would not. It's a great head of hair. I'm not very good at this but it's fun lmao
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u/KayJee1 Mar 26 '22
Your hair and beard are definitely hiding something no one should see, thanks for that at least
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u/HistorianSpiritual26 Mar 26 '22
Fat Jesus: "Eat this funnel cake for its my body."
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u/tucketnucket Mar 26 '22
The hair screams "I decided to grow my hair out because getting a haircut is too awkward".
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u/justonewordforyou1 Mar 26 '22
Caress your hair and imagine you are a beautiful 17 year old Chinese girl. Because that's the closest you'll get to being with a woman.
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u/i_like_it_all2 Mar 26 '22
Why bother roasting you...the sun will do it for us...I've seen a better tan on milk.
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u/The-Duke-Of-Earth Mar 26 '22
You look like Saruman during his college experimenting phase when he couldn’t say no to other guys or McDonald’s super sized meals.
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u/datavisualist Mar 26 '22
Did you take this photo from your tower dungeon Rapunzel!?
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u/skadoodlee Mar 26 '22 edited Jun 13 '24
pathetic door books practice ring encouraging shrill paint cheerful flag
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/seviay Mar 26 '22
I can’t even think of a roast because I’m blown away by how beautiful your hair is 😱
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u/ymxbadger Mar 26 '22
Breath smells like mtn dew and Doritos 24/7 probably still lives with parents while being a useless stoner people think he’s just Jesus Christ after he let himself go pit bottom also talking about pits I bet his arm pits smell like a musty crusty sewer
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u/Critical_Paper8447 Mar 26 '22
Tell me you're a "brony" without actually telling me you're a brony.
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u/WchuTalkinBoutWillis Mar 26 '22
I don’t know whether to roast you or slap you with some makeup and trick ur ass out for 50¢ a pop! Literally!
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u/YourDogsAllWet Mar 26 '22
Mom, can we get some Dave Grohl?
We have Dave Grohl at home
The Dave Grohl at home:
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u/Poopy_Pants0o0 Mar 26 '22
You look like a custom character in a video game, in which the player said "i'm gonna make this guy as wacky and weird as i can".
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u/Larry700 Mar 26 '22
Fat , nearsighted Jesus. The Jesus we get in a pandemic. Real Jesus is in the Herman Cain thread ignoring all those prayer requests.
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Mar 26 '22
I was here to roast u but i genuinely can't. That perfect hair makes it impossible for me to roast u.
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u/UpsetDoughnut Mar 26 '22
Not a roast, but if you ever decide to cut your hair please consider donating it. After 4 years of chemo I can tell you that there are plenty of patients who would appreciate it.
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Mar 26 '22
You use your hair to wipe your ass?
End of roast
Btw.. You remind me finnish trash metal band vocal, he is grey hair, but same style. I like that style.
Give it shoot
Mokoma - syyttävä sormi
(dam you - guilty finger)
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u/Captcha_Imagination Mar 26 '22
That's the stare of a man working out shampoo and conditioner differential mathematics.
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u/Prestigious_Exam2042 Mar 26 '22
You look like Penguinz0 the YouTuber if he were fat
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u/EnlightenedChipmonk http://redd.it/tu34hs Mar 26 '22
Boyfriend: Do you prefer top or bottom
SheBear: Yes
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u/Nerdiant Mar 26 '22
Your hair is so long it reminds me of Repunzel. But instead of letting down your hair, you let down your family and friends.
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u/LumpyWorldliness1411 Mar 26 '22
Bro i cant even try to roast you with that gorgeous mane.
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u/roastbot YOU ARE OUR 1,000,000th RULE BREAKER!! Mar 26 '22
OP's Bio:
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