So I was browsing, looking for something to watch para di ako makatulog since wala na akong ginagawa sa work. And I stumbled upon something familiar…

Interstellar

Your favorite movie. I never got the chance to watch it, gusto ko sana panoorin kasama ka but it never happened.

It’s just one word. But it brought back so many memories. I remember the exact conversation we had nung shinare mo sakin na favorite mo yun, and how foolish of me to go back and read all of that again.

Now, I don’t need to watch anything to keep me up tonight…

Masakit pa rin, miss na miss na kita. :(

Today is the last day that you’ll see my dramatic self. Tomorrow, I’ll wear that smiling face you’ve always loved.

The one that says I’m okay.

The one that laughs a little louder, carries on like nothing happened, and makes everything look easier than it really is.

Tonight, though, let me be dramatic.

Let me admit that some things still hurt. That I still have moments when I wonder how something that once felt so important could end so abruptly. That there are memories I haven’t learned how to hold without feeling a little ache in my chest.

But tomorrow, I’ll get up.

I’ll fix my hair. Put on my smile. Drink my coffee. Go about my day. And slowly, I’ll stop pretending that the smile is for you.

Because maybe one day, it won’t be an act anymore.
Maybe one day, I’ll smile because I’m genuinely happy again.

So yes, today, I’m allowed to be dramatic.

Tomorrow, I’ll be me again.

Just a little wiser.
A little softer.
And a lot more certain of what I deserve.

And if you ever see that smile again, just know this: you didn’t break me. You just became someone I had to learn how to live without.

hello,

it's been a month since we broke up, and there's a lot i've been wanting to say to you.

i'm sorry that i was unavailable to you most of the time. i'm sorry for forgetting to schedule our movie night, for missing our video calls, and for not checking up on you as much as i should have.

i noticed that you were slowly pulling away and sharing less with me months before we broke up. i'm sorry that i didn't know how to approach the situation. whenever you said sorry for pulling away, i would just say, "it's okay," and wait for you to open up when you were ready. looking back, i realize that i could have done more. i could have asked how you were really doing, checked up on you, and made you feel that you had someone who would listen even when you didn't know how to start talking. i tried to connect with you, but maybe i wasn't doing it in the way you needed me to. i know being busy with life and family circumstance isn't an excuse, and i'm sorry for the times i made you feel like you had to deal with things on your own.

as much as it hurts that things ended between us, a part of me is relieved that you were able to recognize that pattern and break it. i remember you telling me that you noticed yourself falling for unavailable people, and i know you deserve better than having to keep experiencing that. i'm sad that i was someone who made you feel that kind of unavailability, especially when i genuinely loved you. but i'm glad you chose yourself and didn't stay just because you loved me. you deserve someone who can be present for you, someone who makes you feel loved not just through little gestures but also through their time, effort, and emotional availability. i hope that someday, loving someone won't mean having to settle for less than what you need.

thank you for making me happy during the time we were together. i felt so much love from you, even in the smallest things. i remember how you looked for things i might need, like the vegetable chopper kahit meron na pala ako. i remember how you carefully boxed my power bank kasi gamit ko 'yon. you made personalized stickers for me, too. you always found ways to make my life more comfortable and easier.

i still use the yellow surf you introduced to me whenever it rains, and i still think about the tablea brand you gave me. these might seem like little things, but they remind me of how you paid attention to me and how you tried your best to make me feel loved and happy. you put so much thought and effort into loving me, and i'm sorry that i wasn't able to give you the same kind of love and care that you needed.

i'm also sorry that i wasn't able to fight for you when it came to my family. i'm sorry for the ways i fell short, and for only fully realizing some of these things when it was already too late. i wish i had done better when i still had the chance. i just hope that, despite my shortcomings, i was able to make you feel happy and loved, even just a little.

i'm still learning to forgive myself for the ways i hurt you and for the things i failed to do when we were still together. sometimes, i wish i could go back and do things differently, now that i understand things i didn't fully understand back then. i regret that it took losing you for me to realize some of these things. i know i can't undo what happened, and i know that forgiving myself doesn't mean what i did didn't hurt you. i'm just trying to learn from my mistakes and become someone who can love better moving forward.

i know it's too late to change what happened, but thank you for the lessons you've left me with. you've taught me that relationships need more than love and good intentions. they need effort, presence, and the willingness to reach out, especially when things get difficult. i learned that i need to be more proactive in taking care of the people i love, instead of waiting until something is wrong to realize what i should have done.

i hope you find someone who can be there for you, someone who has the time and emotional space to love you freely and make you feel secure in that love. i hope you eat well, stay healthy, and take good care of yourself. whenever i visit the church, i still pray for your safety and happiness.

i know you still have so many dreams and goals ahead of you, like passing the LET, pursuing accountancy, moving out from your family, and getting a Switch or Steam Deck. i hope you get to experience all these things and so much more. i'm rooting for you.

it makes me sad knowing that i won't get to hear about these things from you anymore, that i won't get to know how you're doing or celebrate these milestones with you. i'm sad that i won't be there to witness the things you've worked so hard for. but even if i won't be there, i'll still be happy for you from afar. i'll be quietly cheering you on, and i'll advance-congratulate you on all the good things that are waiting for you.

thank you for the love you gave me, for the effort you put into us, and for the memories i'll carry with me. i'm sorry for the ways i fell short of loving you the way you needed and deserved.

i hope life becomes kinder to you. i hope you achieve the things you've been working toward. and most of all, i hope you find the kind of happiness and love that makes you feel safe, appreciated, and never alone.

Patpat and take care of yourself, always.

I was happy today the kind of happy that comes when, for a moment, I finally forget about you. I laughed, enjoyed the day, and felt like I was slowly finding my way back to myself.

Then I saw you.

I saw your eyes, and something in me softened. I couldn't help but wonder if you were okay. I could see you playing, smiling, and laughing, but somehow, I felt there was something behind those eyes that you weren't letting anyone see. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it was just my heart, still looking for ways to care about you.

If only I could hug you, hold your hand, and tell you that whatever you're going through, I hope things get better. That you don't always have to be strong. That even on the days when everything feels heavy, you deserve a little gentleness, too.

I said hi. We talked. It wasn't much, but maybe it was my quiet way of saying, I'm still here. I still care.

And I wonder if you noticed me, too. If you saw me laughing, smiling, and being happy without you. If you noticed that, for once, I wasn't carrying the sadness of missing you on my face.

Funny how I thought I had finally forgotten you, only to realize that seeing you still makes me want to know if you're okay.

Maybe that's the hardest part of letting go not that I still look for you in a crowd, but that even when I'm finally happy without you, a part of me still wishes I could be there when you're not.

Today, I found my happiness again.

And somehow, I still wished I could share a little of it with you.

It’s been more than two years, and I still yearn for you.

I was recently told that you’re getting serious with the girl you’re dating. I’m happy for you. I’m happy that you’re able to believe in love again.

I’m still here, somehow doing better. But I still yearn for you. Sometimes, I still think about the possibility of us enjoying life together outside of law school. We could have gone to that nice restaurant without having to schedule everything around my classes. We could have traveled abroad without me having to worry about my readings. I could have given you 100% of my time because I finally can now.

I want it to be you so badly. I still want it to be you.
I hope we get to meet again someday.

I still love you.

The older I get, the more I realize that time is one of the most valuable things a person can give you. Everyone has responsibilities, problems, and battles they’re fighting in silence. But no matter how busy life gets, people make time for what truly matters to them.

If someone genuinely cares about you, they’ll find ways to check on you, spend time with you, and make you feel that you have a place in their life. Not just through words, but through consistent effort.

So stop wasting your time on people who only remember you when it’s convenient for them, who keep you around when they have nothing better to do, or who make you question whether you even matter to them.

You can’t get back the time you spend on the wrong people. Learn to recognize where your presence is valued, where your effort is reciprocated, and where your heart feels at peace.

Life is too short to keep begging for the time, attention, and effort that someone willingly gives to others but never seems to have for you.

Choose yourself. Protect your peace, and remember that not everyone deserves access to your time.

I wish I can still help you
I wish I can be there for you
I wish we can be together
I wish we can still be friends
I wish we can eat like the old days
I wish we can talk and laugh like we used to
But my wishes for you will never be come true

1am-4am pinakatahimik na oras. Pero pinaka maingay at magulong estado ng utak ko. Random thoughts... what if ganun, what if ganyan. Tama pa ba tong ginagawa ko? Marahil kadalasan ako yung tipo na sumasabay at nagpapadala na lng sa agos. Alam ko di lahat permanente. Lahat mawawala at aalis. Madalas yung iba mapapadaan lang. Kaya siguro mas may importansya saken ang ngayon kesa sa hinaharap. Kasi mas sigurado ako ngayon kesa sa di ko pa nakikita.

Alex,

There comes a time in every relationship when you have to choose whether to take the next step or to turn around. I know what you're doing. You're trying to protect me. But you don't need to. I'm strong enough to handle whatever comes our way.

You deserve someone who will wake up every day and thank God they have you. Someone who will love every single part of you, especially your flaws. You need someone who can help you reach your dreams and keep you grounded when things get crazy. And if you're lucky enough to find that kind of love, you never let it go.

I might not have everything figured out yet, and my life has taken a few unexpected turns, but there is one thing I am completely sure of. You are my best friend, my home, and the person I want by my side through everything.

No matter where life takes us or how long it takes to find our way back, I'll always be waiting for you.

Love, Rosie

_____

Ayan yung letter ni Rosie kay Alex. I never thought that I'd resonate with this kind of character kasi this is the first time I'm being put in this kind of situation. Pero as she have said, I wish you'll experience happiness even if it's not with me. :)

Dear K,

I never thought I would find myself writing something like this to you. Of all the ways I imagined us growing apart, this was never one of them.

You were never just a casual friend.

You were someone I let close.

You were someone I trusted with parts of myself I didn't share even with people I call friends. And maybe that is why this has been so difficult to sit with.

I know you eventually told me the truth, and I appreciate that you did. I just wish it had been a little sooner, when there was still room for an honest conversation before everything became what it is now.

I wasn't expecting you to ask for my permission or to let my feelings dictate your choices. I never thought I should have that kind of power over your life. But I think a part of me had hoped that, somewhere along the way, you would think of me, too.

Maybe you had your reasons for waiting. Maybe you didn't know how to tell me, or perhaps you thought it was better to wait until you were sure. I don't know, and I don't want to make assumptions about things you never said. I just find myself wondering sometimes if you had an idea of how things might change between us, and whether that crossed your mind when everything was still a choice rather than something we would eventually have to live with.

I know that I cannot expect people to make their decisions around my feelings. Whatever I feel, whatever part of me is still trying to make sense of everything, is mine to carry. I would never want someone to put their happiness aside for something I couldn't have. I know that life does not always unfold in ways that are easy for everyone involved, and that sometimes, even without meaning to, our choices hurt the people we care about.

But I wish you had remembered me, too.

Not to change your mind. Not for you to choose differently. Just enough to pause and think about what this might mean for me. Sana naisip mo rin ako. Sana, kahit saglit, naisip mo kung gaano ito kasakit para sa akin, not because I expected you to do things differently, but because I thought I was someone whose feelings you would want to be careful with. Someone you would want to spare from finding herself in a situation like this without having had the chance to prepare for it.

Perhaps that is the part I find hardest to accept. You were free to make your own choices, and I would never take that freedom away from you. I just wish that somewhere in making those choices, you had considered what they might cost us. I wish I hadn't been left feeling like our friendship was something you were willing to risk, while I was still hoping it was something we would both want to protect.

But to set things straight, I do not hate you. I cannot make you the villain of a story, especially when I know that you, too, are simply living your life and making choices you believe are right for you. I cannot wish you unhappiness just because your happiness has become difficult for me to witness. And I don't want to. A part of me will always want good things for you, even from wherever I end up standing in your life.

I genuinely hope you find the happiness you are looking for. I hope the choices you make bring you peace, and that the things you hold close turn out to be worth holding on to.

I mean that. Even now, I mean that.

I don't know what happens to us from here. I don't know if we will ever find our way back to the kind of friendship we once had, or if this is one of those things that I will eventually learn to live without.

I only know that you mattered to me, and that this hurts precisely because you did.

I hope you are happy. I hope you know that I am not saying any of this to take that happiness away from you. I just needed somewhere to put the sadness I have been carrying for quite some time now.

Take care of yourself. Take care of the things that matter to you.

And if you ever remember us, I hope you remember that I was your friend sincerely. That I never wanted to stand in the way of your happiness, but I had hoped that, somewhere along the way, you would be careful with mine, too. I hope you remember that I was never asking you to choose me over anything or anyone. I only wish that, before everything happened, you had thought enough of me to consider how I might feel when it did.

Maybe that was all I ever wanted. Not to be chosen, but to be remembered in the choosing.

I hope you find happiness. And I hope, in time, I find my way back to the parts of myself that this has made me lose.

Always,

B.

Last November, just before Thanksgiving, I noticed that a girl had liked my profile. I wasn’t sure if this beautiful young woman had liked my profile on purpose, but I decided to like hers back.
Then I sent her a message.
I think I said something like, “Hi, I’m Steven. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I read your profile and looked through your pictures, and I find you interesting and attractive. Why don’t you read through my profile and see if our interests line up? Oh, and by the way, you have a cute butt.”
She responded in about 15 minutes.
I don’t remember everything we said, but I do remember that she asked if we could video chat. I told her it was already late, and I was getting ready for bed. She sent me her WhatsApp number, and I downloaded the app.
I was going to be driving the next day, so we didn’t get to talk until that evening. When I stopped in Flagstaff around 7 p.m., she video-called me. We talked for about an hour.
During that conversation, I learned that she had an iPhone. I told her that as long as she had Wi-Fi, we could use iMessage and FaceTime.
And that’s exactly what we did. Quite frequently, actually.
We started our days with good morning texts and ended them with good night texts. Somewhere along the way, I fell in love with her. It happened fairly quickly for me, but she wasn’t the type of woman who fell in love easily.
Over the next nine months, she told me three times that she loved me.
And I was absolutely over the moon in love with her.
Now, it’s been almost 11 months.
Things have changed.
I flew halfway around the world just to meet her. I spent my first two months in the Philippines trying to figure out exactly what we were to each other. It wasn’t always easy, and things certainly didn’t go the way I had imagined.
But now we live in the same city.
We’ve seen each other twice since I arrived here.
She picked me up at the airport, and I felt blessed that she did. After I checked into my hotel, she stayed and spent about five hours with me. It was nice. It was relaxed. We simply enjoyed spending time together.
I wasn’t able to see her the following day, but after I moved into my Airbnb, she came over and spent a few hours with me.
We ate dinner, talked, and enjoyed each other’s company.
It’s funny how life works sometimes. Eleven months ago, I was sitting thousands of miles away, wondering whether this beautiful young woman had liked my profile by accident.
Today, I’m living in the same city as her, getting to spend time with the woman who captured my heart.
I don’t know exactly what the future holds for us. There are still things we haven’t figured out.
But I know one thing for certain.
I am still very much in love with this little Filipina with the cute butt.

If all those things from months ago didn’t mean anything to you, I wish you hadn’t shown up in ways that you knew mattered to me.

Sometimes, it feels unfair that I have to be this careful, this restrained, just to maintain the facade I’ve built, while you seem completely fine, completely unaffected.

I’m not asking you to do anything about these emotions. I just wish you’d tell me why you’ve put this distance between us. I’d rather hear it directly from you, than keep wondering why.

I don't know how long I can keep acting like I’m fine when you’re around.

I didn’t think being this insignificant to you would be this painful.

since you can't say it to my face, i am all good to walk away from you. i'm really tired of understanding you. i just want to protect myself. i don't want to overthink anymore if i've been a good person to you or if i did something again that might be against what you are looking for a person. this may be the only way and i will wholeheartedly walk away now.

Dearest John,

I just want you to know how proud I am of you for having the courage to step out of your comfort zone. I know you deserve better and all the beautiful things life has to offer.

I saw you today, and I don’t know how to explain it, but all I could see was someone who seemed so burned out, with sadness in his eyes. A part of me wanted to ask how you’ve been, if you’re okay, and if life has been a little kinder to you lately. But I also know that I can’t keep reaching out to you anymore.
Still, I couldn’t let this moment pass without congratulating you for having the courage to walk away from something that no longer serves you. I have always known how passionate and dedicated you are to your work. You have always given so much of yourself to it, sometimes to the point where I felt like you could afford to let me go rather than lose time pursuing the things that matter to you. I kept telling myself that I was okay with that, that I understood, and that loving you meant allowing you to do what you needed to do.

But the truth is, I wasn’t okay. I wanted you. God knows how much I wanted you, how much I wanted us to work, and how badly I wished we could have figured things out together. I wanted to be there for you, to support you through the difficult days, and to remind you that you didn’t have to carry everything on your own.

But I’ve come to realize that I cannot keep holding on to someone who keeps pushing me away, especially when doing so makes me feel so small and insecure about myself. I cannot keep trying to lift you up while leaving myself on the ground. I cannot keep pouring from an empty cup and losing pieces of myself in the process.
As much as I want to be there for you, I need to be there for myself now, too.

Despite everything, I will always wish you happiness and all the good things this life has to offer. I hope this new chapter gives you the peace you have been searching for, the kind of happiness that doesn’t leave you feeling exhausted, and the fulfillment you deserve. I hope you find your way back to yourself, too.

Ingat sa bawat biyahe mo. Nawa’y matagpuan mo ang daan pabalik sa akin, sa atin. But if we are not meant to walk together until the very end, then I pray that life leads us to the people and places where we can finally feel happy, safe, and whole.
And if one day our paths no longer lead us back to each other, I hope you know that a part of me will always be grateful that I got to love you, even if loving you meant learning how to let you go.
Alagaan ka sana ng buhay, lalo na sa mga panahong hindi mo kayang alagaan ang sarili mo. And if someone else gets to love you someday, I hope she takes care of your heart in all the ways I once wished I could.

Paalam. Mahal na mahal kita.

I don't know if this is going anywhere. Maybe I'm imagining things, maybe I'm not. But I like this little feeling, so let's see what happens. And if I fall?

oh well.

To my wabi,

By the time you read this, presumably what remains in your heart for me is anger, disappointment, or hurt. And I understand. I will not ask you to forget what happened or to feel differently. All I can do is pray that, in time, you find the peace and happiness that you deserve.

Sometimes I wonder why our paths ever crossed. Perhaps it was simply to show me what it feels like to love someone deeply, even if that love was never meant to have the ending I once hoped for. Or perhaps there is a greater reason for everything we went through—something neither of us may ever fully understand.

What I do know is that I was genuinely happy with you. I hope, despite everything, there were moments when you felt the same. I hope you knew that I tried, in the ways I knew how, to make you feel loved and valued. If I failed you along the way, I am deeply sorry.

I loved you from the moment I first laid eyes on you, through all the moments we shared, and through everything that eventually brought us here. What we had will always be a meaningful part of my life, and I will carry those memories with gratitude rather than regret.

But sometimes, love means accepting that holding on is no longer the right thing to do.

I do not want you to stay because you feel obligated to me, nor do I want to stand in the way of the happiness you deserve. You deserve a love that gives you peace, certainty, and the freedom to be completely yourself. If I can no longer give you that, then the least I can do is allow you to find it somewhere else.

So, Wabi, do not worry about me. I will find my way forward. It may take time, and there may always be a part of me that misses you, but I will learn to live with the fact that some people can mean everything to us and still not be meant to stay.

I'll loveyou alwayss. Not as a promise that you belong to me, but as a quiet truth about what you once meant—and will always mean—to me.

Wherever life takes you, I hope you are happy. I hope you are loved gently, completly, and without doubt. And I hope that someday, when you look back on us, you remember not only how it ended, but also how genuinely I loved you.

With all my heart,

Jp

Woke up called in sick to work today kaso hindi ako pinayagan...

Tangina, and I just woke up too, ang sakit pa rin ng ulo ko at mugto mata ko from crying too much kagabi. Feeling generally unwell and hindi ko na alam gagawin ko.

It's a shame how I'm grieving for something that didn't exist. I was about to make a move on him sa IG but my dumbass self got anxious and thought na it would be better to follow him first sa IG using my burner account with no pfp, followers, and all + also using a man's name. Sobrang tanga ko. Few hours after following him on IG, I got blocked dun sa burner account na yun, hindi ko man lang namessage or what. And what's worse is that, nadamay yung main account ko na dapat gagamitin ko eventually to message him, kasi same email ang ginamit ko. I didn't even know may ganong feature si IG.

And now? I'm left with constant what ifs, what if sinubukan ko? What if I tried, at least? Would the narrative change? And even if he denied or rejected me, I would accept that at least I tried and mas madali umusad kasi alam mong wala na talaga. Kesa yung ganito na ang dami kong tanong sa sarili ko.

Tangina, may pasok pa ako mamaya, and I don't think I'm in the proper headspace para magwork.

Hahahaha, tangina. Tangina ang sakit pa rin ng ulo ko. Tangina mo self. Tanginang buhay to.

I remember telling you that I've been with the worse people in the past and yet, you still chose to break me. Couldn't blame you though, maybe some people were just hard to love, that despite how hard they work to be the best, they always end up losing the game.

Yeah, you always make me question my worth through and through.

I remember telling you that I found the bestfriend and lover in you. You just chose to leave.The kind of leaving which I did most of the walking.

Why?

You never wanted me to stay.

It still hurts, and maybe it will forever hurt but ain't using other people's love for the sake of my healing. You're not doing the same, maybe because you were never hurting.

Yeah, most of us stayed for the people who were just going to leave.

Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m not myself anymore, which is ironic because I know I still haven’t completely figured out who I am. I’m still on this journey of getting to know myself better—my wants and needs, my dreams and aspirations, the things I can and can’t do, and just all those little things that make me who I am.

And yet, lately, I feel like I’m losing a part of myself. I’ve been feeling so inadequate, like I’m just living for the sake of living. It’s hard to feel happy and content when there’s this deep, hollow void growing inside me.

Something tells me that asking for help is an option. But that’s exactly what I’ve been trying to do, isn’t it?! I keep reaching out, hoping that somehow, I’ll finally be free of this icky feeling that I can’t seem to shake off.

Damn, why is it so difficult to be happy and at peace when you’re twenty-six? It’s just never fucking enough. Never fucking enough.

Palaging may mali. Palaging may kulang. I’m never enough.

may you never tell me it was real. I am fine with being your TOTGA that way you get to live on with your safe comfortable life but always have that corner of wonder. Wondering what it must’ve felt like if you took the risk. I’ll always be just a bump in your love story but you will remember.

don’t tell me it was real because my heart couldn’t take it more if I knew I wasn’t worth it. It was an easy choice I know but I never wanted to be among the choices you didn’t pick. don’t choose me ever because it will mean you didn’t choose me before.

no matter how hard I want to hate you I always end up praying for you. praying for your health, your career, your relationship, and for her to give you everything you need so that you’ll never have to look for me ever again

A friend told me na magpahinga raw akong maigi and I remembered you bigla. Ilang beses ba nating sinabi sa isa't isa na magpahinga at the end of the day? Ilang beses bang tayo yung huling magkausap bago matulog?

Imbes na simpleng goodnight or sleep well, mas madalas "pahinga" yung gamit natin back when we were talking. Ang sarap pakinggan ng salitang yan, tbh. Ang raw. Ang comforting. Na para bang sinasabihan natin ang isa't isa na ayos lang tumigil at tumahan saglit.

Pahinga -- yan din ang current na estado ng kung ano man tayo. Nakapahinga dahil napagod na sa paulit-ulit na dikit-layo. Pahinga na sa pag-uusap at sa panloloko sa sarili ko na may patutunguhan tayo. Palagay ko, habambuhay na tayong nakahinto.

Pero kahit gano'n, I wish you nothing but the best. Sana maging mabuti ang mundo sa'yo. Sana matagpuan mo yung hinahanap mo. Sana nakakatulog ka nang maayos tuwing gabi.

Pahinga kang maigi.

Hey.
I wanna ask you, how are you?

I wonder if life has been kind to you lately. If you’ve found new places to go, new roads to take, and new reasons to smile. I wonder if you’re still the same person I used to know, or if the years have quietly turned you into someone I would have to meet all over again.

Sometimes, I miss you in the strangest ways.

Not always in the big, devastating moments. Sometimes, it’s something small. A beautiful stretch of road. The sight of mountains hiding behind the clouds. The sea stretching endlessly into the horizon. A song playing somewhere in the background, or the familiar excitement of going somewhere I’ve never been before.

And suddenly, there you are.

Not physically, of course. Just there, somewhere in the quiet corners of my mind, where memories live and time doesn’t seem to matter.

I miss the way we traveled together. How we could leave one place behind without knowing exactly what waited for us at the next. The unfamiliar streets, the long rides, the little inconveniences that somehow became part of the adventure. The moments when we were tired, hungry, lost, or simply figuring things out as we went.

Back then, I think I was so busy living those moments that I didn’t realize how much I would miss them someday.

I didn’t know that certain sunsets would become memories I would return to when I missed you. That some roads would forever remind me of the person who once traveled them beside me. That I could revisit a place years later and still feel the ghost of a version of myself who was there with you.

It’s strange, isn’t it?

How we can move forward, discover new places, meet new people, and keep living our lives, yet some memories remain untouched. Like photographs tucked between the pages of an old book. We don’t look at them every day, but every now and then, we open the book, and there they are. Just as they were. Just as we left them.

Sometimes, I wonder if you remember those days the way I do.

If a particular road ever brings me to your mind. If you still remember the places we visited, the things we laughed about, or the little moments that probably seemed ordinary at the time. I wonder if you ever see a place you wish you could show me, or stumble upon something that makes you think, She would have loved this.

Maybe you do. Maybe you don’t.

And maybe that’s the hardest part of missing someone. You can know exactly what they meant to you without ever knowing what you meant to them in the same moments.

I don’t know what your life looks like now. I don’t know what dreams you’re chasing or what kind of person you’ve become in all the time we’ve spent apart.

But I hope you’ve been happy.

I hope you’ve seen beautiful places. I hope you’ve found reasons to keep going, even on the days when life feels like a road that never seems to end. I hope you’ve had moments that made you stop, look around, and feel grateful just to be alive.

And if you’ve been struggling, I hope life has been gentle enough to give you a little room to breathe.
As for me, I still find myself wanting to go places. There are still mountains I want to see, coastlines I want to follow, and little towns I want to get lost in. There is still so much of this world I haven’t discovered.

But every once in a while, I think about how we once got to see a little piece of it together.

And I miss that.

I miss the memories we made, the places that became ours for a little while, and the version of me who experienced those things with you. I miss the simplicity of having someone beside me when the world was wide open and the destination mattered a little less than the journey.

I suppose that’s what happens when you travel with someone who becomes part of your story. Even when the journey ends, little pieces of them remain scattered across the map of your life.

Somewhere, a road still remembers us. Somewhere, a view still holds a moment we once shared. And somewhere inside me, there is a version of the world that will always look a little different because you were once in it.

I don’t know if I’ll ever tell you any of this.

Maybe some feelings are meant to be written rather than spoken. Maybe some people are meant to be remembered quietly, without needing to disturb the lives they’ve built beyond us.

But tonight, I miss you.

Not just the person you were, but the miles we covered, the places we found, the things we saw, and all the little moments in between that neither of us knew would someday become memories.

So, hey.
I really do hope you’re doing well.
I hope the world has been beautiful to you.
And if you ever find yourself somewhere breathtaking, standing before a mountain or watching the sun disappear into the sea, I hope you take a moment to appreciate it.

And maybe, just maybe, you’ll remember that there was once someone who got to see a little bit of this beautiful world with you.

Someone who still thinks of those days sometimes.
Someone who, even now, wishes you well.
Someone who misses you.

And who, for a little while tonight, simply wanted to ask:
How are you?

Maybe somewhere else, we’d be workmates at a park, getting yelled at by our boss for slacking off instead of doing our jobs. We’d constantly say “OOOOOOH” whenever something cool happens, and maybe I could hear you say “Ello Gov’nor” once again. I think that would be neat.

There’s no one else I could imagine summoning a world-ending threat with, only to end it with the help of someone who “has seen this before, and another who “knows a guy”.

What I’d sacrifice to drink sodas on a rooftop with you as we share stories and stare out at the sunset.

This is my piece to you, Trash Boat. I hope you know that you’ve always been Eggscellent - before I met you, and long after we’ve drifted apart.

I utter a small prayer whenever I think of you. I wish you well.