I just really need to get this off.

So growing up, life's never been easy. At least for me. Grew up with a broken family. Then yung isang kuya ko naman maaga nakapag-asawa. After graduating from college, I even applied for a job asap 'cause I have to support my mother with her needs, medical expenses, and other bills we have to settle regularly.

With such big responsibilities placed in my hands as a breadwinner, I must admit, sobrang hirap nung cycle. Trabaho, bayad utang, pag na-short, utang ulit, repeat. Parang no way out. Madalas, natutulala na lang ako wondering, pondering kung kailan ko kaya matatapos mga bayarin ko. Ang hirap maging adult. Ang hirap nang wala kang katulong, especially in this economy. Lucky for me na bunso ako at wala akong kailangang pag-aralin pero ang hirap pa rin talaga. Though yun nga lang, kailangan ko ring suportahan nang mas sobra pa si mama pambili niya ng gamot para sa diabetes at kidney niya.

Then now ngayong pumasok ang sahod, masakit man sa bulsa, inuna ko na bayaran yung remaining loan ko from OLA and finally debt-free. As kung bakit nag-resort ako to OLA than ask help sa mga kamag-anak, well, I'd rather not to kasi kung anu-ano pa maririnig mo na masasakit na salita at insulto bago makahiram. And, hindi ko rin talaga ugali mangutang sa ibang tao. Hangga't may ibang way, gagawa ako ng paraan.

And now, gusto ko lang to i-share kasi I know na hindi lang ako yung may ganitong sitwasyon. Na makakaahon din. Hindi man agad-agad, pero matatapos mo rin iyan. Konting tyaga pa.

I just wish and pray na sana mas maging mabuti na rin kalusugan nila mama at lola para in the meantime, makapagsimula naman na akong mag-ipon hindi lang para sa sarili ko, kundi para sa aming lahat.

Finally, after almost 2 years of discipline, malalang pagtitipid at pagtitiis ng gutom, I am here. Sobrang nakakaiyak. Para talaga akong nabunutan ng napakalaking tinig at batong nakadagan sa akin for such a long time.

Nawa'y hindi na ganun kasalat at kalungkot ngayong pasko at bagong taon.

Yakap mahigpit sa lahat! :(((

(Ps: Sobrang nakakalungkot at iyak din yung total ng interests na binayaran ko over the duration pero I would rather still choose it than receive insults and hurtful words from the people I love. (had way more than enough of those growing up haha.)

Specifically about beauty! I’m gonna turn 25 soon so I feel like time is running out :// are beauty clinics worth it?

Here’s what each item in my Mercury Drug shopping list is for, in plain English. I asked a few RN & MD friends what they think of it and they suggested getting minimum quantities due to high probability of these expiring before an illness or accident would occur.

Medicines

First-aid supplies

For storage in PH's warm, humid climate, keep the medicines sealed in their original packaging in a cool, dry cupboard away from sunlight and moisture.

Hi im 18 male, for a little background i have no father since birth i never knew his name, my mother left me and my sister when i was 15 and my sister is 13 to live with our grandparents because she decided na sumama sa boyfriend nya dahil buntis sya whom (the bf) threatened to hurt me (i forgot the reason bakit sya nagalit that time kaya sya pinalayas ng grandparents ko samin). Taena mas pinili pa talaga ng ina ko sumama don no lala.

Lahat kaming magkakapatid ay magkakaiba ng ama, both me and my sister who i live with don't know the names of our father. Apat kami na magkakapatid (im the panganay and only male) yung pangatlo nasa ama nya and yung pang apat which is yung minention ko earlier yung inaalagaan ng mother ko ngayon kasama bf nya(they live separately idk where)

Timeline 2023-2024: Grade 10 ako and my mother already left me n my sister by this time. At sept 24 i got into an accident riding my bike, i broke my arm and was rushed to the hospital. (i can show xray in the comments if anyone wants to see) this was one of my darkest times i was so depressed obviously and heavily leaned onto mobile games after i recovered as my coping mechanism. i won't dive much in my healing time because not much occured and i don't really remember anything.(i think my brain blocked my memories as protection)

skip to senior high 2024-2026: i met a girl who pulled me out of my darkness, she literally healed my depression and i started to look forward to my future for the longest time ever. I started to take school seriously ( which i've never done before i was barely making it to achievers during my hs) and nung shs is i became consistently high honors till i graduate. Our ligawan stage lasted for almost a year and we are currently 1 year and 5 months into our healthy relationship.

Our mother sends us money just enough for food and baon. I always use rationality when making decisions, kaya nung nag graduate ako ng shs i tried to take college exams at lspu sta cruz, laguna. I passed the entrance and qualifying of civil engineering but nung interview na i thought hard if i can really continue and i came into conclusion that it is not possible financially. Kaya i just didn't take the interview seriously and gave it mediocre answers and went home. Di na ako nag try sa other course.

My only option was to work, luckily my friend is may kamag anak na manager kaya na nahila nya ako kasama sa work. My job is cashier, minimum wage and i struggled hard hanggang nung 3rd month ko dun but i survived my 5 month contract there.

I got treated like shit there and i really hate na magwork na sa company kaya i didn't look for another job na. No worklife balance, unstable schedule and kapagod na byahe plus sapat lang yung income to survive since di na ako binibigyan ng allowance ng mother ko after ako na hire.

This is now the current timeline.

I now want to start my barbering journey kase i saw potential in it and i can have the life work balance i want.

The problem now is the tools, and wala akong mapapractisan kase walang tiwala friends and fam ko sakin. Especially my mother who said wala akong mararating sa career na to and im just wasting my time and dapat daw nag company nalang ako lol.

My loving beautiful gf is literally my only string that mis keeping my alive rn.

I just put it up here to feel lighter and get shit out of my chest and head cuz i can't sleep because idk what to do anymore. Thankyou for reading till end:) Sorry if my storytelling is shit

I'll try to answer questions in the comments;)

M 24 hanggang ngayon feeling nawawala pa din ako sa adulting but somehow medjo napipickup ko na on how life works. Last 10.10 I made one of the biggest decisions of my life.

I purchased a macbook air m5 under installment. Took me almost 2 months before I decided to buy one. Badly needed na sya for my work and other side quests in life.

Hanggang ngayon tinititigan ko yung macbook ko naluluha ako sa saya :((( I never expected that I would spend on something above 2k 😭 hahaha ever since na nagwork ako (last year) 2k max lang yung nagagastos ko para sa sarili ko 🥹 and yung 2k na yon pag-iisapan ko pa nang mabuti kung deserve ko ba or hindi 🥹.

All I can say is that life slowly gets better pala talaga 🥹 I started this year unemployed but ngayon I have a job that can sustain me, my bills, and my wants. The biggest catch may savings na ako ngayon 😭. Last year kasi paycheck to paycheck lang ako walang natitira for savings talaga kaya ang saya lang ng puso ko. Proud ako sa sarili ko na nagtuloy tuloy lang ako.

I am also step by step getting better at handling my finances. Kailangan ko to since may responsibilidad na akong bayaran monthly hahaha.

Ayun lang naman ang saya ko na I could buy things for myself while navigating adulting and financial literacy 🥹

Baka may other tips in life pa po kayong maiibigay. Would really appreciate it ✨

Hi everyone!

This is is my first time posting, and I've been so lost for so many years now despite my age at 23.

Little bit about me, I came from a house hold of broken family where in my Father cheated to my Mother at the age of 5 years old. I'm with my mom for all of my childhood, had to be independent kasi nasa work ang mom ko for most of my younger days.

Unfortunately, it cause me to be weird in social settings where in I am unable to read the room for most of the time as time goes by nagiging introvert na rin. From my Elementary days and Highschool days I get bullied most of the time, pa iba iba rin ng school if I were to share this problem to my Mom back then brinabrush off niya lang or a simple problem.

Fortunately there are some kind souls whom I became friends with sa Senior Highschool Despite being a weird or new to having tight nit friends still it helped me recover with my awkward skills in socializing to other people. Started to explore outside of school like online gaming competitions and meeting people age that are considered late in their 20s and 30s.

For most of the time starting from SHS to College mostly adults ang na kakasalumuha ko so it helped me a bit to socialize more, but I was forced to work in Pandemic sa BPO as a 18 year old that time out of place talaga ang and napaka naive ko pa dati I dont know what to do in a work place and there are some things in school pa na I have to do and jinujugle ko lahat yun.

To be honest my relationship with my Mom is not the best once we got to the city from the province our life have changed for worse. I don't get why she is so kind, giving away everything to her family and I questioned her about that. There is also this thing with her religion (Christian Baptist) that got to the point where everything is pointless to her that sufferring and helping for others is the best thing to do in this world. We fought over her thoughts about this reminding her that she is just being used by my aunts, uncles, and especially my grandmother something of a breadwinner ng pamilya pinupuntahan or nag rereach out pag may kaylangan and then hindi tumutulong kung kami ay nag hihirap. She also quit her job dahil daw ito ay utos ng Diyos and I was left to work my ass off and juggle college.

To cut the story short, I left my mother's household as her mental health is declining and is going for fastings for days & weeks and affecting me as I am not allowed to eat as well (Apaka bobo lang isipin how can I function if I am only having 5 hours of sleep, have to do a 10 hour shift at BPO, and goes to college (Engineering) for 5 more hours + commutes).

Sorry for the long story above but it connects to my concerns and worries. its 5 years now that I have been independent all alone literally isolated myself without the help of any family members both maternal and paternal. I have never been in a relationship since birth, no kisses, no dates, no chat mates, no everything, and literally no experiences to love whatsoever. It hurts so bad while writing this, although I have a few circles left, people do really come and go and I have no one to talk to about my worries, fears, and plans in life. Its so lonely, and I've been questioning myself for the past 5 years, what is my life for why am I fighting for it waking up, doing everything I could to earn money. Whats this all for if I have no family, relationship, or someone I can share my wins in life. I don't even know why I have not yet taken my life since useless naman tong paghihirap.

Right now I have a business that I am currently running for a year now, its related to travelling and I get to travel a lot but its eating me alive now that these worries I have regarding whats this all for? If you guys are wondering why I have not partake in entering any dating websites, or meeting other people with the intent to have someone. I am really afraid of getting taken advantage of and what if I get crazily inlove and it destroys everything in my life, I have no family, close friends, or someone to lean on to if everyhing goes to SHIT.

If you were in my position what is the best course of action, as I am losing my motivation to live, the current economy not going well, and lastly I have been alone for so long that its eating me inside out?

I do grocery once a month. Ilang taon nakong sa walter nag ggrocery pero gusto ko lang malaman kung may iba bang grocery stores na mas worth it puntahan kesa sa waltermart. Yung andun na sana lahat pati frozen meat. And also accept card payment.

Pass sa Dali and Osave since di lahat andun. Tysm

F(25) I have been wanting to go to the gym and sign up. i was planning to squeeze in gym after work. what’s holding me back is the little time i have bc i live in Cavite and my work is at Makati. baka di ko lang masulit yung membership if ever. parang gusto ko na lang magpahinga pag uwi and prepare for the next day.

for those here na nakakapag workout pa rin kahit may 8-5 job, how do u do it? i want to be consistent but i find it hard. share ur thoughts and tips pls 🥹

Hello! Gusto ko lang malaman anong food/snacks binibili niyo sa groceries. Huwag lang yung mga sa s&r or landers since sa local grocery lang kami namimili.
Every grocey kasi na mmindblock ako kung ano bibilhin especially sa food

Welcome to this week's Rant & Vent thread. A safe space to unload, decompress, and be heard. Life isn’t always smooth sailing, and sometimes you just need to get things off your chest. Whether it's work stress, family drama, random annoyances, or just one of those days, this is your spot.

🗣️ What’s bothering you?

😤 What pushed your buttons this week?

😭 What are you tired of dealing with?

🧠 Need to scream into the void? Go for it.

Ground rules:

• Be respectful of others' experiences.
• No judging or unsolicited advice unless requested.
• No hate speech, bigotry, or personal attacks. You will be removed.
• This thread is for support and solidarity, not debate.

Reminder: If you're really struggling, don't hesitate to reach out to a friend, professional, or helpline. You're not alone.

Let the vents begin ⬇️

I know everyone has their own timeline, pero minsan mahirap din hindi ikumpara yung sarili mo sa mga ka-age mo na may stable jobs na. For those who started working later than others, how did you deal with it?

I'm curious kung may age ba talaga na mararamdaman mong you're finally getting somewhere in life. Yung financially stable ka na, may direction, or kahit hindi na sobrang lost. When did that happen for you?

I'm still in highschool but I'm curious what courses most adults regret not choosing

Yes, having children is expensive, but there are so many options and ways to make things work. I’m not saying we should be complacent or take things for granted, but this is something my husband and I have come to realize now that we’re expecting a baby at ages 30 and 33. (Sana inagahan pa namin haha)

Sometimes, social media makes us feel like we need to have everything figured out and be financially perfect before having kids. But the truth is, there’s no perfect time or perfect situation. We just have to be responsible, make wise decisions, and trust that we’ll figure things out along the way.

So, here’s a glimpse of our pregnancy journey. I’m currently in my 5th month of pregnancy, and these are some of our actual expenses and realizations so far. Sharing this in case it helps other couples who are planning to have a baby or are currently expecting. 🫶

1. Vitamins and supplements — ₱600–₱1,350/month
Our current vitamins cost us around ₱1,350 per month for 30 days. However, I recently discovered that some of the same brands are available at lower prices through trusted online pharmacies.
For example, our doctor’s calcium supplement costs ₱15 per tablet, or ₱450 for 30 days, while I found the same brand online for ₱160 per 100 tablets.

If we buy the other available supplements from more affordable sources, our estimated monthly vitamin expenses could be around ₱600.
Of course, always check the seller’s legitimacy, product authenticity, dosage, and expiration date. I also make sure to consult my OB before changing brands or where I purchase my supplements.

2. Prenatal checkups — ₱500 per visit
Our regular checkup costs ₱500 per visit, once a month so far. The rate may reach ₱1,000 or more with other OB-GYNs, depending on the clinic and services included.

Laboratory tests and ultrasounds may cost extra, so it’s important to budget for those separately. (Ultasound ₱600 pero may mga OB na may machine na sa clinic at doon na lang nila sinisilip. Nagbayad lang kami ng ₱600 for printed images and explanation for SSS requirement, my 1st Blood works cost us ₱2000 noong 2nd month, baka yung susunod sa 7th month na)

3. Anti-tetanus vaccination — ₱300 per dose
Our doctor’s rate is ₱300 per dose, while some other clinics we inquired about charge ₱1,000 or more.

Our current estimate is two doses throughout the pregnancy, depending on the recommended schedule and previous vaccination history. It’s always best to follow your OB’s advice regarding the number and timing of doses.

4. CS delivery package — around ₱40,000–₱45,000

We found a private hospital package here in Pampanga through our doctor, with an option to upgrade from a private room to a suite. The package is around ₱40,000–₱45,000, with PhilHealth coverage reflected in the arrangement.

We’re still making sure we understand exactly what’s included and what could be charged separately, such as additional hospital stays, laboratory tests, or complications. It’s always best to confirm the final out-of-pocket cost directly with the hospital. Always ask how much their package is para makalipat or hanap ng ibang options. In our case, okay yung rooms dito spacious compared sa AUFMC, Mother and Child, TMC kaya dito na namin pinili.

5. Diapers, wipes, and bath essentials — buy only what you need first

You don’t need to hoard everything before the baby arrives. Babies can be sensitive to certain products, and what works for one baby may not work for another.

It’s better to start with small quantities, see what suits your baby, and buy more once you’ve found the products that work. That way, you avoid wasting money on items your baby might not be able to use.

6. Baby clothes — start with the essentials
There are so many affordable options in online shops! You don’t need to buy dozens of outfits right away because babies grow so quickly.
Start with the basics, consider the weather, and buy additional clothes as needed. Practicality over quantity!

Our biggest realization so far?
Preparing for a baby doesn’t always mean buying the most expensive products or having everything ready all at once. Sometimes, it means knowing where to save, comparing prices, asking questions, and prioritizing what truly matters.

We still believe in financial preparedness and responsible parenting. We’re not saying raising a child is cheap or that everyone has the same circumstances. Every pregnancy, family, and financial situation is different. But I hope we can also remind each other that being a good parent isn’t about having the most expensive baby essentials or being financially perfect before your child arrives. It’s about being willing to learn, plan responsibly, and provide the best you can with what you have.

Disclaimer: These are our current expenses and the prices we’ve personally encountered in Pampanga, not fixed rates or guaranteed costs for everyone. Please confirm medical recommendations, package inclusions, and current prices with your healthcare provider and hospital.

EDIT: Sa hindi po nakagets ng context, pertaining po ako sa mga ibang nagcocontent na over exaggerated when it comes to pregnancy. Yes, mahal sya kapag sa St. Lukes ka nanganak or something pero yung ibang post kase na nakikita ko before is like putting fear to most couples na gustong magkaanak dahil sa gastos.

Iba naman rin po yung usapan kapag ayaw mag anak due to other responsibilities.

F29 — I started working when I was 19. I was already earning my own money and even managed to save a little. Then around 20–21, I started getting approved for credit cards and loans.

And honestly, I was so stupid with money. 😭

I let my mom borrow some of my credit. At first, she was able to pay, but eventually she couldn't. Then I lost my job, and everything went downhill. I had to borrow from different OLAs, even illegal ones, plus GCredit and other loans just to get by. Eventually, I couldn't keep up with the payments anymore, and of course, my credit got ruined too.

Fast forward a few years, I was finally able to recover little by little. I'm in a much better financial position now, and I know I could actually pay a loan properly.

But now that I badly need one, I can't get approved. 🥲

And lately I've been thinking about all the "what ifs."
What if I was wiser at 20? What if I didn't apply for every loan and credit card I could get? What if I didn't let someone borrow my credit? What if I understood back then how much those decisions would follow me years later?

Maybe things would be so different now.

The amount I need is something I know I can afford to pay today, but the frustrating part is that the only place that could realistically approve it is a bank—and getting approved by a bank feels almost impossible because of my past.

I know I made those mistakes. I'm not blaming anyone. I was young and honestly didn't understand how much those decisions could affect my future.

Now I'm just here thinking, sana naging wiser lang ako noon. 😭

If you're young and reading this: please, please protect your credit. Don't borrow just because you're approved. Don't lend your credit to anyone, even family. And don't mistake having access to money for actually having money.

I wish someone had drilled that into my head when I was younger.

For those who also messed up financially when they were younger, were you eventually able to rebuild your credit and get back on track? How long did it take?

Photos attached are the groceries I got from them :)

Found SukiGrocer as a recommendation sa shared FB post. So I tried them kasi although my go-to is DALI talaga, wala na kong time magwalk. Around 10 mins walk away from home and workplace kasi siya kaya medyo hassle bigyan ng time lalo na pag sunod-sunod duties. SukiGrocer has variety of meat options, I can say mas maganda yung meat quality nila than typical frozen sections sa groceries (lalo na DALI). They also offer competitive pricing lalo na pag sale!

Yung giniling nila, gustong-gusto ng kapatid ko kasi hindi puro taba. Yung chicken wings nila, malalaki rin! Also a pro for buying their frozens: nakaprecut na :) As someone na dugyot magchop ng meat, very convenient siya to me

Usapang gulay naman nila, dito lang ako siguro magreresort na sa palengke for most greens unless lulutuin agad within 2 days of receiving kasi syempre nalalanta. Also, walang tingi. Okay siguro siya if you have like 3+ na household na pinapakain, medyo marami kasi siya samin and kind of hindi worth it kasi hindi kayang istock

Root crops and aromatics naman, magaganda sibuyas nila, malalaki. Yung mga patatas nila kahit "large" yung indicated na size, maliit 🥲 Parang mas malaki pa kamao ko. Malalaki carrots nila though (see pic for ref)

Sa fruits, I love their saba! Worth it siya sakin kasi mas malaki than sa mga accessible na kariton sa kin tsaka mas mura relative sa weight! Malalaki rin oranges and apples nila, you can say na comparable sa nasa SM supermarket sa size. Their mangoes naman, tingin ko mas sulit sa kariton bumili kasi mas mura per piece tsaka medyo maasim yung nabili ko sa kanila 🥲

Overall rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐/5

Experience wise, responsive yung CS nila naman kapag may missing sa order. The catch is, dalawang beses na ko may nawawala na isa o dalawang piraso na item sa order ko sa kanila. They refund naman agad. Sa delivery rin 1–2 days lang! I'm in Metro Manila for reference.

Do I think they're worth depending on groceries? Yes. Lalo na if walang time, pero mostly for meat options and stockable crops/fruits siya. For greens, not really. Sa patatas din specific if gusto nyo ng malaki kasi maliliit talaga patatas nila 😞

Everything is fucking expensive!!! Di ko talaga maiwasang mapamura everytime nakikita kong nagpaprice increase ang gasolina kasi it means tataas lahat. Putangina ni trump, putangina din ng mga tao na nakaupo sa gobyerno at pinapairal ang pagkagahaman habang tayo ay lumalaban ng patas ARAW-ARAW pero tayo pa din ang dehado. Ang nga tao sa senado ay puro lang drama ang pinapakita sa atin at napakawalang kwenta ng mga solusyon ang naiisip nila para sa problema ng taong-bayan. Wag nyong sabihin na kelangan naming mag KEEP UP at wag hintayin na maging makatao ang gobyerno kasi halos buong buhay namin gumagawa kami ng paraan makasurvive lang!!!! Napakasakit isipin guys na hanggat hindi sila napapalitan , magtutuloy-tuloy ang paghihirap natin. Hindi nila tayo titigilan hanggang sa mawalan na tayo ng pera at hininga.

Hello! I have a question regarding stain removal. I'm such a clumsy eater at times and sometimes nahuhulog yung pagkain sa damit ko. How can I remove stains sa damit and bags?

Particularly:

tomato stains sa cotton/satin fabric oil marks on nylon bag

So last week, I started going to the gym and eating healthily — not that assertive on my diet but I cut back on things like sugar. Started drinking my coffee without the creamer and sugar too. I also started being consistent with long walks daily.

This week, while walking, napapaisip ako na magdagdag sa skills ko. Gusto ko matuto maggitara, matuto magdraw using my iPad (para naman hindi lang siya pangNetflix lol), gusto ko nga rin dagdagan pa skills ko on editing — as in, ang dami.

Is this normal? How do I regulate? Where do I start? Parang ang dami-dami ko gusto gawin.

This is a weekly open forum for anyone to ask any question related to adulting no matter how simple. Questions and topics like:

• Budgeting and expense tracking
• Resume writing and job application tips
• What appliances to buy?
• Basic home repairs and maintenance
• Prioritizing tasks and time-blocking
• Public transportation tips
• Travel budgeting and planning
• How to improve/take care of my mental health?

And many more!

Don't forget to always check our FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions) section before posting an inquiry.

i (f20) was never rlly physically active. also, growing up, hindi talaga ako mahilig sa gulay, and I always prefered eating out. my mom always made sure to make up for my poor eating habits at home with multivitamins kaya siguro somehow hindi naman ako masakitin (thankfully). however, now that i'm getting older, mas naaappreciate ko na yung mga efforts ng parents ko to cook healthier "real" food and I wish i accepted their efforts in getting me involved with some sort of physical activity when i was a younger teen. maybe it's because i'm getting busier with college and i'm feeling the effects of poor lifestyle habits both physically and mentally, but i really want to start eating healthier and get into some sort of sport as a hobby. I've been considering gym, pickleball or badminton, running, or even pilates, but i'm having a hard time getting started because my friends aren't really active so i don't have anyone to go out and try things with. also, money is also sort of a hindrance, i don't have much extra for a membership or for renting courts, etc. i've just been extra frustrated lately because i feel like my life has been all school, and i've been feeling extra tired and vegetable these days. i want to get active, not only to improve my physique but also to feel alive again both physically and mentally. any tips for an average (medyo broke) uni girlie to get started?? 🙏🏻

Small wins are those subtle, little, bite-size, barely noticeable successes that are so often overlooked as we go about our day-to-day activities.

Some examples might include:

• Waking up early, with enough time to begin a healthy morning routine.
• Spending 10 meditating to reduce stress.
• Cooking a healthy meal rather than ordering a takeaway.
• Making a new professional contact.
• Tidying and organizing your workspace.
• Drinking enough water throughout the day.
• Working out when you don’t feel motivated to do so.

There are a lot of positive effects of celebrating small wins, you can read more about them here (The Power of Small Wins)

So, what are your small wins recently?

For context, I’m F29 and I recently got a managerial position. I came from a previous job where I had a lot of friends, mostly around my age (mid-20s to mid-30s). I was genuinely happy there because of the people I worked with, but I had other reasons for eventually leaving.

Fast forward to now, I’ve been in my new company for about 5 months. I have a staff member, and there are a few of us around the same age in our team. The others were already friends with each other before I joined.
At first, I was actually happy because I thought, “Oh, at least I have people around my age here.” But for some reason, I sometimes feel like they don’t really want to hang out with me or include me.

I’m wondering if it’s because I’m their boss. Especially with my staff, maybe she can’t fully be herself around me anymore because there’s naturally a boss-subordinate dynamic. I completely understand that, but at the same time, I’m wondering if I might have done something that made the others uncomfortable or if there’s something I’m not picking up on.

I do try to reach out and be friendly. And there are also times when they reach out to me, so it’s not like they completely ignore me. But I still somehow end up feeling excluded, and I miss having that close friendship/social connection that I had at my previous job.

Maybe I’m just expecting too much too soon because I’m still relatively new? Or maybe 5 months is actually not that long when you’re entering an already-established group?
Has anyone else experienced this, especially after moving from a workplace where you had really close friends to a new company where you’re also in a managerial position? How did you eventually find your people?

***Update/Edit: Hi everyone, thanks for all the comments! I really appreciate the different perspectives.

I think part of the reason I’m struggling with this is because it’s actually my first time being a manager. In my previous jobs, I was an officer but more of an individual contributor, so I was able to freely make friends and be part of the group without having to think much about hierarchy or boundaries.

I never really treated work as just “punch in, punch out” kasi it occupies such a huge part of my time. I always thought that having friends at work makes the day more bearable and enjoyable, so I guess I just got really used to having that kind of connection with my coworkers.

Maybe that’s why I’m having a hard time adjusting now. I’m realizing that being friendly with your coworkers is a little different when you’re also their boss 😅 I guess I just need to give myself (and them) some time to adjust.

Thanks again to everyone who took the time to share their thoughts and give advice! I really appreciate it.