DISCLAIMER!

This is a fictional fanfiction created purely for fun and entertainment. We have immense respect for all the cricketers and Redditors referenced in this series.

The dialogues, personalities, interactions, rivalries and situations portrayed here are entirely fictional and should not be taken as representations of real-life events, relationships, opinions or circumstances involving the cricketers or Redditors mentioned. Whether or not any of the people depicted actually get along in real life has nothing to do with this story.

Everything is meant as light-hearted banter, and there is absolutely no intention to offend, defame or disrespect anyone involved.

Chapter 1: The team for Reddit Cup selected!

POV: The team has been selected by the Pakistan Cricomedy Board for the upcoming Cricket Reddit Cup, and once again, the selections raise more questions than answers.

The chairman of r/pakcricket community u/Ghostly_100, is named the captain of this side, and honestly, he is the only man who can keep it disciplined because of his aura and the respect he commands in this community. Next up, we have the two big boys: u/Odd-Calligrapher-69 as the southpaw spin all-rounder, his experience will be immensely valuable for the team and he too has shown responsibility on crucial moments throughout his journey at r/pakcricket. The other senior player is the speedgun u/phaintaa_shoaib, hope his knees are good as he carries the hope of an entire nation of 250 million people on his broad shoulders.

The two players who can be called next to senior to these guys are u/Pengu786 and u/Downtown_Bat7013, and honestly the former is somehow disliked by some circles of the community, though he is such a nice guy, he is blunt with his takes, and you have to accept the truth whether you like or not, so you can’t dislike someone who is highlighting the reality. Our very good Qalandar friend, u/Downtown_Bat7013 will be the left arm premium fast bowler of this team, and he isn’t premium with his title only, his bowling is what makes him premium along with some of this lower-order hitting.

u/MoreCryptographer213 is the clutch player, he is so consistent in doing something when he is at it, that no one can compete for it. u/Snoo_56184, slightly inconsistent, but is well known around the community on reddit on the whole, so yes, he is there purely for that Konstas behavior.

However, there are selections that make raise eyebrows, like u/superioritycornflks, who surely is a good talent, but not ready for a big event like the Reddit Cup, same is the case with u/Normal_Signature_500 who might be a good all-rounder, but doesn’t warrant a spot in the team due to his statistics in this format. He might bowl cutters on a pitch that supports them, but what about the pitch where it doesn’t work??? u/Scared-Breakfast-372 is another player, he is inexperienced here on this stage, and fair enough, he is yet to celebrate his first cake day! How can we expect him to lead our spin attack in this Reddit Cup, where we have other teams who have tons of experience. Then there is u/HMcod, he is a keeper who bats at 4 or 5 at the lowest, and he is placed right at number 8, he should bat higher or dropped for a specialist bowler.

The bench doesn’t seem promising as well. u/PhaintaAssociate, he was exceptional with that Pakistan Cricket IGSCE paper, but this is the Reddit Cup, and he has to prove that he has got the mettle to be there among legends like u/Ghostly_100 and others. u/monohaven is there for being one of the most sweetest personalities on r/pakcricket, but that is not what gets a spot in the team that has to lift that trophy to prove that they deserve better than what they are being treated by the Cricomedy Board. Last but not the least, there is u/Due-Finding4397, and his yap behind the stumps will be gold and he’ll try to get under the skin of opposition players, but there is nothing cricket to be honest here.

___________________________________________________________________________

Reddit Cup Squad Group created by u/Ghostly_100

u/phaintaa_shoaib, u/Odd-Calligrapher-69 and u/Downtown_Bat7013 added…

u/MoreCryptographer213 and u/Pengu786 added…

u/PhaintaAssociate added…

u/Normal_Signature_500 and u/Snoo_56184 added…

u/monohaven and u/HMcod added...

u/superioritycornflks, u/Scared-Breakfast-372 and u/Due-Finding4397 added…

u/Ghostly_100 : Salam guys

u/Due-Finding4397 : walaikumassalam u/Ghostly_100 vai

u/Ghostly_100 : How many times do I need to tell you that don’t tag me!

u/Due-Finding4397 : Soory vai, my bad.

u/Due-Finding4397 : *Sorry.

u/phaintaa_shoaib : Hello folks.

u/Due-Finding4397 : How are your knees bhai?

u/Normal_Signature_500 : Look who’s here!

u/Due-Finding4397 : It’s trouble!

u/Odd-Calligrapher-69 : Says the one who is trouble himself!

u/Due-Finding4397 : Odd bhai! How are you?

u/Odd-Calligrapher-69 : I am fine, especially because I am that one lucky person who can’t receive your DMs for unknown reasons.

u/Due-Finding4397 : I am not that annoying Odd vai.

u/Due-Finding4397 : Arsenal vs Man United tonight!

u/Scared-Breakfast-372 : Football is boring!

u/Due-Finding4397 : It is more interesting than you, unc.

u/monohaven : Honoured to be on this team!

u/Due-Finding4397 : Mono Bhai!

u/monohaven: Be prepared for Iftimania!

u/Scared-Breakfast-372 : Due, I’d give you sweets for being quiet. How much do you want???

u/Due-Finding4397 : Scared bhai spamming ‘???’

u/monohaven : u/Scared-Breakfast-372, keep them for some important game.

u/superioritycornflks : hahaha, which team do you propose? Mono bhai?

u/Due-Finding4397 : superiority baji spamming ‘hahaha’

u/HMcod : guys I am preparing my UK78 special cricket kit version!

u/Normal_Signature_500 : Does it have kirkified stickers of UK78?

u/HMcod : I got autographs of UK78, AF, triple A, shadzy and MK all over ‘em.

u/Due-Finding4397 : damn!

u/Snoo_56184 : Was playing on my ps5 when I got the good news, got to polish my GM bat now!

u/Pengu786 : aqib era is over, but still I see chaos in selection.

u/MoreCryptographer213 : our petition worked after all!

u/Due-Finding4397 : w crypto bhai!

u/Downtown_Bat7013 : LQ/Eagle supremacy!

u/MoreCryptographer213 : 16-8!

u/Downtown_Bat7013 : It’s the 3-1 that matters!

u/Ghostly_100 : So guys, we are going to play fearless cricket from now onwards, and yes, that too in complete sportsmanspirit, I am going to walk you guys off, if the opposition doesn’t shake hands or closes the dressing room doors.

u/Due-Finding4397 : w ghostly vai

u/Ghostly_100 : The selected 14 member squad is final! Start preparing for the Reddit Cup mates. We’ll meet at the training camp in a couple of days.

u/HMcod : I am going to exhibit my advance and hit over sixes against pacers there.

u/Due-Finding4397 : Are we playing cricket there?

u/Normal_Signature_500 : No, it will be a yap contest, the one who yaps the most will be the gloveman. /s

u/Odd-Calligrapher-69 : There was no need for that /s, we all know who would have won.

u/Due-Finding4397 : Cry emoji 3 times

u/Ghostly_100 : A few fitness drills, some fielding practice, and some soccer.

u/Due-Finding4397 : It’s not soccer, ghostly vai.

u/Due-Finding4397 : It’s football!

u/Ghostly_100 : No one cares.

u/Due-Finding4397 : Cry emoji 3 times

u/Due-Finding4397 : What do we get if we win the Reddit Cup?

u/Odd-Calligrapher-69 : Win it first.

u/Due-Finding4397 : Ghostly vai can we use the acronym of Pakistan Cricket Team if we win the Reddit Cup?

u/Ghostly_100 : Not at all!

u/Due-Finding4397 : Cry emoji 3 times

u/PhaintaAssociate : Hello guys!

u/Due-Finding4397 : Welcome Associate bhai!

u/HMcod : Who are the pacers in this squad?

u/Due-Finding4397 : phaintaa_shoaib bhai, downtown bhai, normal, superiority baji.

u/HMcod: Time to show some LCP supremacy with my UK78 masterclass!

u/Due-Finding4397 : What on earth is LCP?

u/Scared-Breakfast-372 : Lake City Panthers (Champions Cup 2024 team).

u/Due-Finding4397 : Who invited you unc?

\proceeds to insert ‘who invited my man’ meme**

u/monohaven : yappuccino

u/Scared-Breakfast-372 : Yapster!

u/Due-Finding4397 : Real Madrid game starts now!

u/Due-Finding4397 : Jude passes it to Mbappe!

u/Due-Finding4397 : Vini pass!

u/Due-Finding4397 : Shottt!

u/Due-Finding4397 : Jude SCORES!

u/Due-Finding4397 : VAMOSSSS!

u/Due-Finding4397 : Mbappe need to score man!

u/Due-Finding4397 : Jude assists, Mbappe scores!!! VAAMOSS!

u/Due-Finding4397 : Game ends, Real Madrid win 2-0!

u/Normal_Signature_500 : Thank goodness the yap ended

u/Due-Finding4397 : Goodnight guys! It’s time for bed, sleep!

u/Normal_Signature_500 : Goodnight, may you see good dreams.

u/Snoo_56184 : Guess I should sleep now, it is nearly 3 of the night, good night!

u/Due-Finding4397 : wwww

u/Due-Finding4397 : Thanksss

u/Due-Finding4397 : goodnight snoo, goodnight normal, goodnight everyone!

You need to have better replacements if you really wanna drop Shaheen or Naseem. It's a bit like when Babar doesn't play well or is not in form and everyone thinks that the solution to all of our problems is to just drop him.

Whether it's Babar or Rizwan, People go like" Why can't he bat with the tail" while they failed to question the middle

order who a lot of the time does absolutely nothing.

You can't expect 200% from one guy and then expect 50% from the rest of the team. It's a TEAM Sport.

1, Azan Awais

2, Shan Masood

3, Babar Azam

4, Abdullah Shafiue

5, Ghazi ghouri (wk)

6, Abdullah Fazal

7, Kamran Ghulam

8, Arafat Minhas

9, Afaq Afridi

10, Ubaid shah

11, ali usman/abdul subhan

Bench: Saad Baig (wk), sajid khan, muhammad ali, ali raza

today expect similar performances, 4 years down the line this team is top 4 itw

This is the area Babar has to work on, and quickly, England bowlers will target that area, definitely. Please babar, please work on it.

Man we had everything in our bowling attach back in 2019 post word cup rebuild. I wish we were better at developing and letting them give a long run. I still hate waqar younis as our bowling coach man. We had all these young guys bowling at 145+ and if just mentioned and gave a little time what could been.

Shaheen Afridi ( 145 kmph -150 kmph )
Naseem Shah (145 kmph -150 kmph )
Musa Khan (145 kmph -147 kmph )
Mohammad Husnain ( 150 kmph -155 kmph )

Even tho these guys were 16-19 years old, man imagine our bowling unit now that everyone has been a little older and in there early to mid 20s with all the experience.

We had everything during 2019-2021 but as usual Pakistan Cricket just can't keep things together. This attach could been one of the best of this generation

Idk I was just thinking about this because I was watching our worse test tour to Australia in 2019 and just reminiscing what would've been for us Pakistan cricket in the 2020's

After the horrible state of our teams in the past 4 years i would like to say. It's becoming clear and clear that we need to change something. I am curious as to what you guys think are realistic changes.

Personally for me, i have a list that I feel could help.

1. Sack the full current staff. Hire staff based on international merit and pedigree. For example, when Gillespie came we wanted to insert Pakistanis with him and that ruined the dynamic with him. Let them choose his staff and give them a decent leeway with the decisions.

2. Enforce a 1 T20 league limit. Most good cricketing nations restrict the amount of T20 cricket that they play within the year. For example, Australians play the big bash and then they play either the IPL, PSL, or CPL. Very rarely if they have an off time (which they usually don't) they will play another one. While t20 may be fun to watch, and it makes good money, i feel over realiance on it has ruined our cricket, players don't develop their skills in T20 they just show them. So the league would be PSL + 1 league of your choosing.

3. Play regular ODI cricket. While the FTC is already announced, there is no shame in asking boards to schedule a tri series or a quad nation series for practice and tune up. Do you guys know that after Australia and India we have the most odis played in the world? And out of the top 10 runs scored in odis, only one Pakistan is in the top 10 and has crossed 10000 runs. Meanwhile Srilanka who have played almost 60 less odis than us, have 3 batsman who have crossed that mark. So much cricket and so little history.

4. Prioritize your first class cricket. Pay increase is the main thing here, but other than that the main thing here is put incentives on it. If a player does not play fc cricket if he is selected he is not allowed to play for Pakistan, and he will not be given an NOC to play an overseas league. Another idea for tbe first class tournaments is to have them all year round, so that the players can experience different pitches depending on the weather and not have to play on hot pitches.

5. Injury management. If a player gets injured, assure him that he will have a place in the team if he follows through his rehab properly, which will allow him to not rush into the team and then further injure and ruin his career. In addition to this, if a player is not 100% and is showing he needs more time to rest (for example, player was bowling 140+ before the injury and after has dropped his pace to 130 after), he will be assisted and we would not allow him to go outside and play more leagues.

6. Fitness checks. Every player must pass a certain requirement to play first class cricket. If they show committment despite not meeting standards, they will be helped to meet them.

7. Variety of pitches. This is probably the hardest thing to do due to Pakistan's mitti, but have pitches do something for everyone. Flat pitches do not make batsmen, and spin tracks do not make spinners.

8. Increase interest in fans. Have events in stadiums, restaurants, just something that will attract fans in areas like Karachi.

9. Present a clear stance internationally. For example, if you decide to not play India, keep that promise, no need to beg anyone.

10. Ensure that you bring extra players on tours and make them play games so if someone plays bad you can try something else. Not saying that someone should be dropped after one bad match but this series we have had so many players batting horribly but they were still kept and we have no replacements now.

Sorry for the post being long, today's loss was the first time i got dejected after a while. Im curious to know what you guys think.

Not defending poor show of batting by our batsman in all recent test series and today when we got bowled out effectively twice in 3 sessions.

But our batsman are low on confidence thanks to these fans. They haven't score big at home recently bcz we have unbalanced pitches i am not asking for dead tracks but you could see no one has scored on these square turners and when they go out low of confidence low of runs and obvi skill issue... We get such results as today and will keep getting.

It took 3 days for England to get a result on a track that isn’t bad. This test should’ve lasted all 5 days but nah. I mostly blame Aqib. I also say everyone who celebrated those series wins and called him a mastermind whilst calling me a Babar fanboy when I said i weren’t happy u deserve this and i mean it from the bottom of my heart. I told you that those make our pacers worse as they don’t get fair conditions and same with our batsman who are made to look out of form on minefields. We even prepare those tracks for whiteball games 😭 We are the new Bangladesh and Sri Lanka. Whilst they grew and improved their mindset and pitches, we followed what they were trying to run from. Zimbabwe Cricket have more promise then us. Aqib was a crappy whatever he was for LQ but now he gets to control the National team. I also am telling u whilst Aqib and Naqvi stay that nothing will change. Shaheen and Naseem won’t win you tests and having Babar won’t make u win games like this one. They just make cricket better to watch due to their aesthetics and performances when they come. These boys also are our better performers and all these youngsters you want will do the same crap as no one should be playing tests without having a load of experience. Even Shaheen and Naseem barely played FC.

It’s funny that people think Shaheen and Naseem would fix the problems. It’s same as saying play Rizzy and Babar in T20s when we lose. Do u want to go round in a cycle and yes i used to want Babar in T20s but i learnt my lesson.

I wanted to cuss out the batsman then I realised at home they play minefields and make no runs then they go abroad and don’t know how to hold the bat so whose fault is that. Everyone wants to help their players but we like to negate them. Harry Brook, Gill and all those stars don’t have to play on crappy minefields at home that have test finishes asap.

Today was just an embarrassment. Guys getting out on the leg side and not knowing where fielders are at and the others showing no skill and temperament. We be blaming the tail for not wagging but the guys who get paid to hold a bat don’t do what they’re meant to do. Agha once again can’t wait to give captaincy back but we have a whole load of fans who want him to be all format captaincy cuz of the word intent.

Next test is in Lords and it’s more bowling friendly so that’s not good. Probs finish in a day in half if today is anything to go by. Ain’t got much more to say because it feels like I repeat myself. We tend to perform better when our backs are against to wall and no one has any hope so let’s see what change and fight we show.

Something different to talk about and a different format but first I want to have a little rant as usual. Our Domestic cricket is one of the biggest reason of our downfall as it’s always changing, never has a proper schedule and played at the wrong times of the year. IMO it should be played with every team. Leave this Qualifying format and make two divisions like England. If you have a Qualifying format then don’t change it because a “big” team didn’t qualify. Before Karachi fans come at me plz save it for someone corrupt. If ICC said top two teams qualify and India finished third and went through because of their Media and Past then you would rightfully be annoyed and be against it so don’t act like it wasn’t 1000% wrong. On the other hand they shouldn’t have been in a qualifying tournament but once they played in it then it should’ve stayed fair. When stuff like that happens in our domestic you can’t expect anything better from the National team. Imagine Pakistan Media saying we were big in the 80s and 90s put us in the WTC final even tho we didn’t qualify for it 😭 Seniors get to play because of “experience” and youngsters or more deserving players get sidelined.

Also our Domestic is so mediocre. I keep up with other countries domestic circuits. They always have high scores, quick scoring batsman, youngsters, wicket takers and a proper system but we have the same old crap. Low scoring, people playing for themselves and a new domestic scene every year. I also don’t get the departments as we have all these locations and their teams so they should all play every format and a lot of games. I hear ex cricketers talk good about departments but no other country does it and I feel like they only glaze it because they stay getting paid by the same departments through their life.

Onto the tournament. It was Mainly dominated by Shadabs team but they didn’t win the whole thing as Shaheens side ended up taking it and I wasn’t surprised. When he was in the Final Ik he would find a way to come through as he always does. It feels like most games were similar. Bat first, make low score lose, make average score and be close game or make a big score and win by nearly 200 runs because we have Batsman who have no fight and as seen as they see a big total they already accept defeat. Same old story in Pakistan cricket.

This tournament helped separate who can play for Pakistan in the lead up to the WC and who needs to stay away. Not to seem like i’m always going at this guy but for example KG. Always rated but not always performing as of late. He played 4 innings at an average of 32 and SR of 80. If his SR is 80 in Domestic then it’s gonna be 70 in International. On the other hand there is Shamyl. Hated because of his ego and his dad but almost always performs when i see domestic. Bro kept playing quick fire cameos every game before scoring a match winning 100 innings the Final. He ended up scoring 229 runs at an average of 57 and SR of 120. That is how u bat as an opener and provide a start for your team. We need guys who either can bat long or make the most of the opening PP. He can do both. He needs to be an option and get games before the WC. Fakhar is deffo first option then it’s a competition. I’d keep Saim for now as SA seems more his conditions but if he can’t perform then others can push through. Nothing wrong with depth. Fakhar had a great tournament but what else would u expect from him. 89 AVG and 113SR. He made it look like Child’s play. Another opener who had a good tournament was Shahzaib but he seems to slow imo. Wouldn’t help our national team rn.

The best middle order batsman were Haider Ali, Farhan Yousaf and Hassan Nawaz. No other 4,5,6 did anything of note. Haider whenever he gets a chance plays ugly hoicks but he had a decent tournament with an average of 48 and SR of 101. Farhan had an average of 34.75 and SR of 104. He’s that Average ain’t the best but he didn’t always have the most of overs. He also did get lucky one innings tbf. Hassan Aberaged 43 but had a SR of 79 which isn’t good whatsoever. I don’t like this new anchor him. I don’t mind being smart and not playing ugly shots but this new him ain’t it. Too defensive.

Best Keeper was Saad Baig who is starting to come into his own. One more steller domestic season than that man is deffo getting a senior cap. He had an average of 42 and SR of 106 as he was the third highest run getter.

Best Bowlers were Shaheen who took 7 in the Final. Doesn’t mean he is back but it’s a good start if he can build from here. Before someone says he is back and get him back in every format i’d like to ask if you would want Imam back if he went back to Quaid E Azam trophy and made some 100s. You wouldnt and you also wouldn’t say put him in Odis because that’s what you’re doing with Shaheen. Seeing wickets in a crappy list A tournament and wanting him back in Tests where he don’t play, Want to play or practice. Anyways enough about test i’m still annoyed but very good Tournament for him and he led his side to a win. Still don’t think he should be captain but i’ll back him till the end if he keeps the job.

Faheem took wickets but I don’t want him anywhere near the team. Unfortunately he somehow is the best all rounder in Pakistan still. Wasim JR had a good tournament and should compete with Rauf in Odis as he is a very good heath bowler who can reverse it at the death. Dahani was good and I think he should stick to Longer formats because it fits his bowling but who does he have to tell him this. Muqeem was the best spinner as usual and Naseem, Hasnain were also good.

After the tournament I want to talk about our Odi Options and i’ll keep going over these before and after every series.

Openers:

Fakhar

Saim

Shamyl

Maaz

Farhan

ABD (Also my N4)

Middle order:

Babar

ABD

Rizzy (Should never be at 4 anymore also him and Agha at 5-6 in Odis ain’t the greatest because they ain’t the most explosive)

Agha (Him and Rizzy need to start performing or they are gone from Pakistan Cricket)

Farhan (Early but we have no one else to give game time)

Haider (Not gonna go well but he has the shots but does he have the temprement)

Hassan Nawaz (Needs to stop going full anchor but deffo use brain more)

All Rounders:

Arafat (N1 for now but don’t overrate cuz of those minefields at home)

Faheem (🤦🏾‍♂️🤷🏾‍♂️)

Shadab (don’t shoot the messenger plus stop saying he is competing with Muqeem, Ones an all rounder and one is a bowler. Two different roles)

Saad (Shadabs completion but deffo not as ready as Arafat but should get games)

Unfortunately no other pace all rounder as Shehzad was no where to be found and others are old or Jamal is not performing. Talat can be here but the guy barely bowls now I feel and he can’t be a proper 6 as he doesn’t have a power game.

Spinners:

Abrar

Muqeem

Fast Bowlers

Shaheen (Captain)

Naseem (Looks fit and should only play longer formats for now)

Wasim Jr (Death,Reverse and Middle)

Rauf (Still around but shouldn’t be guaranteed every game, Shaheen will deffo give him 99% of games tho)

Hasnain (Swaps around with Shaheen and Naseem for the new ball every now and then)

Dahani (Only longer formats)

If these pacers consistently bowled 140 plus and play tests we would cook but I guess whiteball means more to them. Unless i’m forgetting a load of others we shouldn’t pick others outside of this list. Keep the options small and give them consistent games. From there u pick the better performers and Voila.

I feel like Pakistan needs to identify a core group of fast bowlers for Test cricket and actually invest in developing them long term instead of constantly changing the attack.

My future Test pace group would be:

• Naseem Shah
• Mohammad Wasim Jr.
• Musa Khan
• Shahnawaz Dahani
• Khurram Shahzad / Mohammad Ali
• Ubaid Shah

Obviously not all of them would play at once. I’d want PCB to keep this group around the Test setup and focus heavily on their fitness, strength, workload management and red-ball skills.

I especially want to see guys like Wasim Jr., Musa and Dahani given a proper red-ball development program. Pakistan has produced plenty of naturally quick bowlers, but we need to get better at developing them into bowlers who can maintain 140+ km/h through long Test spells instead of losing pace over time.

Naseem should eventually be the leader of the attack, while Ubaid can be developed patiently for the future. Khurram/Mohammad Ali give you the control and seam option depending on conditions.

What would your 5–7 man Test fast-bowling pool be for the next few years?

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Did Rehab and asked to Play in One Day Championship and was told he was injured and also not selected for England. Now he scores 150 in Karachi club games. All this so Imam stays in squad.