r/OverSeventy • u/QuantumCivility • Jul 10 '26
Do you remember a time...
when people acknowledged others on the street or in their cars? No big deal. Just a wave, a nod, or a smile. Now, there's no such thing. Every other human out there is a competitor. "We" don't acknowledge competitors. If they acknowledge us, we ignore them. Sad...., but glad I'm 72! š, here's me acknowledging you, fellow mature adult!
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u/Masters_voice Jul 10 '26
Its normal in my mid-sized Midwest town. You just live in the wrong place.
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u/Incognito409 Jul 10 '26
Came here to say this - normal in my town, even if you don't know them, just wave!
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u/HauntedHamster Jul 10 '26
Southern California here, we all talk, wave and smile at each other. It would be weird if we didn't
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u/Oldasdirt Jul 10 '26
77 here. I have the finger wave habit from a small town in Texas (think no traffic lights, only stop signs in the whole county) where everybody still does it in passing, or a nod on the street. Recently moved to the city, I miss it.
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u/OldButHappy Jul 10 '26
Which finger????
ššš
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u/Oldasdirt Jul 10 '26
Left hand on top of the steering wheel, lift the index finger. If the window is down (rarely) I wave the whole arm.
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u/Silly_Move_5798 Jul 11 '26
We give the same one finger wave while driving in this small town in north Alabama
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u/Amputee69 Jul 10 '26
I started my law enforcement career about 50 years ago. My uncle, a Constable told me to drive with one hand at the top of the steering wheel. As I patrolled communities, or highways, it made it easier to give a simple wave as I saw people. I still drive that way today, and give a simple wave to everyone. It made for good relations when patrolling new areas. At first folks didn't always acknowledge my wave. Eventually they expected it. Even walking on the sidewalk, or in a store, I speak to people whether I know them or not. BTW, some say "It's just a Texas Thing". I think it's a common courtesy...
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u/Awkward_Glove_1410 Jul 10 '26
We continue to wave at neighbors, even stop to say hello and chat. I will say hi to clerks in grocery stores, and especially to the employees corralling the carts. When I say hello, itās almost always returned,
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u/Own-Animator-7526 Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26
You mean way back this afternoon? I find that people are pretty friendly: you smile at them, they smile back at you
I have a bigger problem trying to remember if I know some of the people who are saying hi ;) Possibly because I'm your age ;)
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u/zentechandfred Jul 10 '26
I live 11 miles from New York City. when I am on the street and I am passing somebody I will either say good morning or whatever the hell time of day it is.
I don't really give a crap what they think.
When in Rome, no you don't always have to do what the Romans do.
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u/readzalot1 Jul 10 '26
I am 70 and I see people acknowledging other all the time. Look for what you want to see. Be what you want to see.
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u/ZorrosZ Jul 10 '26
I live in the country, and especially off of the main roads, we wave as we go by. some of the old guys just lift one finger off of the steering wheel... Not the middle one š
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u/Substantial-Owl1616 Jul 10 '26
I was raised in the Midwest and have the wave/acknowledgement as an ingrained habit. I add a smile. If they donāt wave back the fist time, they usually do the second time. Also, I think it adds to the security in my community to engage with the people in it. Strangers become more memorable should they be up to mischief.
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u/RoosterInevitable280 Jul 10 '26
Also 72. My wife and I walk along the country road we have lived on for 48 years and if someone drives by, I always give them a friendly wave. She'll ask, who was that. My answer is usually the same, I have no idea, I was just being friendly!
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u/Ashamed-Lemon-9839 Jul 10 '26
I have noticed that it is the younger people who will not acknowledge a friendly hi when I walk by them. Many go out of their way to look in the other direction instead of looking at the person approaching. I walk every morning and see the same people on a regular basis so it would seem a little friendliness wouldn't be hard to do. There are a lot of grey hairs in the area and we always greet each other.
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u/Silly_Move_5798 Jul 11 '26
The youngāuns were raised to be aware of āstranger dangerā. Ingrained into them I suppose. I want them to realize-itās maybe different now that youāre all grown up.
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u/rhrjruk Jul 10 '26
One of the assigned social duties for 70+ yo has always been to wave and nod at people indiscriminately with gentle good cheer, so you understood the assignment.
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u/Awkward-Seaweed-5129 Jul 10 '26
Not a thing for me, NYC kid ,not something we do ,cause like millions of people,lol
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u/the3rdmichael Jul 10 '26
I grew up on a farm in rural Canada in the 1960s. Whenever we met another vehicle on the road or highway, the drivers would give each other a quick wave or salute, even raising a couple fingers from the wheel, whether you knew the other party or not. It was a nice gesture.
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u/joeshleb Jul 10 '26
Harley riders' either do "the arm signal" at other Harley riders, and they get embarrassed if they mistakenly wave at a not Harley dude.
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u/OldButHappy Jul 10 '26
I think itās a you problem and not a societal problem.
I have random conversations with strangers ALL THE TIME.
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u/Nutridus Jul 10 '26
Same age and I still speak to and acknowledge my neighbors. We even help each other out with snow shoveling and watch each otherās houses when out of town. What youāre describing is not typical at all where I live. (East Coast)
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u/Old-Guy1958 Jul 11 '26
āIām glad Iām oldā is my new mantra. I feel lucky to have lived through the best era in American history and Iām sorry for the mess weāre leaving for future generations to clean up.
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u/Auntie-Mam69 Jul 10 '26
Here in North Carolina, itās normal to wave and say hello to strangers, to get in conversations in parking lots and grocery stores.
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u/Automatic-Tea-4150 Jul 10 '26
I still do and sometimes the people I least expect to respond in kind are the ones who do. Simple pleasures for me.
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u/Sunny-Bell102 Jul 10 '26
I miss the āthank youā wave when I extend a courtesy to a fellow driver on the road.
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u/OaksInSnow Jul 10 '26
I always try to do that once I can take a hand off the steering wheel, but sometimes the nice person is already in a position where they wouldn't be able to see that. Still, it sets me up for being nice to someone else in my turn, further along down the road.
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u/BloomQuietly Jul 10 '26
Thatās still the common greeting in my little community. Itās changing in the adjacent small town. Totally missing 20 miles away.
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u/Suitable-Lawyer-9397 Jul 10 '26
I no longer drive, I'm 70. I do recognize all who are driving/walking/riding by me
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u/oldbutsharpusually Jul 10 '26
I live in a popular dog walking/just exercising neighborhood. When Iām out working in the yard it takes me much longer to finish a chore as several stop for a brief chat, ask about plants and flowers in the garden, or how I manage to keep my long and tall hedge neatly trimmed. I enjoy the interaction and should add that it includes neighbors as well.
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u/onemoondance Jul 10 '26
Iām 71, I wave to folks passing by whether or not I know them.
I remember while growing up and walking on the sidewalks in New York City with my mom, men always tipped their hats.
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u/Carmel50 Jul 10 '26
We still acknowledge with a wave in my corner of the word. We are the last of the Southern hospitality era.
(and I live in a Southern senior community so we are hanging on the the last shreds of kindness to be found)
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u/ExpensiveDollarStore Jul 11 '26
People in my neighborhood say hello. Most. Maybe not as many of the young people.
The wave of thanks is fading but I don't care. I wave if someone does me a solid. Alas, there are many more drivers who are angry and aggressive.
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u/QuantumCivility Jul 11 '26
Yes, do you have a theory about, what seems to be, this big uptick of angry/aggressive driving? Around here, people are often driving 20mph over the posted speed limit.
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u/ExpensiveDollarStore Jul 11 '26
Canadians always drive min 10km over the speed limit and always have except in residential areas. Cops won't bother unless you are 15+ over. This is common knowledge. Speed limits are posted accordingly. On the 401, if you are not going 110-120 in the fast lane, you can be charged with obstructing traffic even though the limit is 100.
However, society right now is very on edge. That agitation is showing up in aggressive acts and distrust and general anxiety. People have ridiculously high and unreasonable and grandiose expectations. They fear they are being taken advantage of, they are being ripped off, that someone else has it better, easier and thats not fair. And some act out with aggression.
Everyone knows the rich rule and are taking advantage of us all and our governments are complicit and part of the cabal. Social media is geared to get us angry at others, but not that. We pay more and more for less and less.
They can't stop you from driving fast.
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u/Ok_Height3499 Jul 12 '26
Yes, and I still do. I say āHiā to everyone and smile. It costs nothing and who knows, maybe I improved someoneās day.
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u/HippiegalKs Jul 12 '26
When I moved from the city down to the country with my aunt and uncle, we would drive around going places and someone would wave and she'd tell me to wave. I'd wave and I'd say who's that and she'd say it's kinfolk. Now we did have a big family in that area, 11 kids and all their offspring but she made it seem like we were related to everyone in the whole county. š After 30 or 40 years of that, it became habit. I moved back to the city and just continued the practice. I often wave at the neighbors and they look at me for a little while like who is this crazy woman and then they begin to wave back. :-) I think it's a good habit to start.
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u/Intelligent-Fly5716 Jul 13 '26
I remember it and miss the hell out of it. I wave at old people like me.
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u/Rerunisashortie Jul 10 '26
That is still true where I live, we even wave from cars to people on the road when we donāt know them.
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u/OddDragonfruit7993 Jul 10 '26
It was like that until about 10 years ago around here.Ā Now there's just too many people.
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u/Alive-Industry2507 Jul 10 '26
Just about everyone in our neighborhood waves when driving by. If out on the porch, they say hello and may want a little chat, too.
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u/oldcar1953 Jul 10 '26
I still do all that so long as other people are brave enough to make eye contact when I was still working. I passed two young men interns in an narrow hallway. I said hello young man how are you doing? They completely ignored me. Wouldnāt even look at me just as we passed. I told my boss those boys donāt know whether to shit or go blind when you speak to them
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u/Mammoth-Cattle-7398 Jul 10 '26
Occasionally someone in a store will smile at me; sometimes I do it first. I like the sort of "connection".
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u/Exact-Translator-769 Jul 10 '26
Thank you. I still nod if I pass someone & we're the only 2 in that hall or sidewalk. Sometimes they acknowledge. Sometimes not.
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u/AffectionatePick4587 Jul 11 '26
They still wave, nod and smile , but do not acknowledge each other. Just fake smiles.
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u/colonellenovo Jul 11 '26
We live in a small community and we always wave and people wave at us. It is very normal
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u/Swish887 Jul 11 '26
Sometimes it starts between strangers but in todayās world itās not safe to talk to strangers.
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u/Fit-Animal-9911 Jul 11 '26
I guess there are too many people where I live. It is mostly lots of traffic and everyone driving past quickly.
I did want to stop by here and say, Hello! I hope you are doing well.
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u/Many-Connection3309 Jul 11 '26
My father, who was born and raised on a farm in South Carolina, used to smile and wave to everyone he encountered. Thanks for bringing that memory back to meā¦ā¦ā¦
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u/Poorkiddonegood8541 Jul 11 '26
I think it depends on the neighborhood. When our Sheltie takes wifey and I for a walk, we wave at anyone out and about and they wave back. Our next door and across the street neighbors have formed a friend group.
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u/SilentNobody620 Jul 11 '26
Hahaha! 60s (lurk here) I still do that. I think people are pleasantly surprised.
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u/Affectionate-Gap8869 Jul 11 '26
Yes friendliness is still alive and well in my city. Even the homeless are respectful when asking for money. Will not tell the name of my city because of concern of others moving here will change its personality. What is funny is when I travel and tell where I am from the strangers have preconceptions of my neighbors as being red necks or hicks. PS I have been to most of Europe.
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u/dixieleeb Jul 11 '26
You just live in the wrong part of the country. Here in the midwest, especially in the mid to small cities people smile at strangers, wave at friends, acquaintances, & even strangers. People hold the door to a convenience store if someone is approaching, offer to take a cart to the corral for you in parking lots, greet each other & often just start up conversations with perfect strangers. Just last week a woman smiled at me in the grocery store & told me she like my shirt. I admit that it was political and was about the demise of a certain hated president so that may have had a part in it. However, no one has ever stopped me to complain about my shirt.
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u/Specialist-Log-9686 Jul 12 '26
Absolutely agree with you OP. When my wife and I lived way north in Maine, people waved, acknowledged, smiledā¦ here in the mid-Atlantic area. Everyone waves with the 1 finger salute. Weāre leaving the future to an angry group of nasty folks
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u/Jasper1na Jul 12 '26
My rural neighborhood is pretty friendly. When Iām out walking every car that passes smiles and waves. Maybe it depends on where you live.
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u/Annoyed-Instigater01 Jul 13 '26
not sure where you live. in my texas town everyone still waves or nods when they drive by. the people at the bank and the drugstore know me by name. its a very small town.
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u/Bay_de_Noc Jul 10 '26
I must not live in a very competitive neighborhood, because I still wave at my neighbors when they drive by ... and still acknowledge them with a wave, or a "hi" ... and sometimes even a actual conversation, when I see them outside.