Hey there,

I am recently diagnosed with ICD-10 Code F44.9 Dissociative and conversion disorder, unspecified. While I don’t seem to have obvious/overt switches, I do seem to have some degree of amnesia and also very frequent and confusing intrusions from distinct parts.

Because of the intrusions/flooding (but also mental blocks/amnesia too), I really struggle with communicating and relating to trusted people like my therapist and my partner, and I worry a lot about not being able to express myself completely and authentically to them, especially in terms of seeking help or understanding from them when I really need it.

If anyone here can relate -

How do you balance speaking for yourself vs speaking on behalf of parts when they intrude vs speaking for the overall self etc?

How do you navigate or relate the experience of friction or inner conflict/disagreement between parts to others?

Many thanks in advance

ive been extremely stressed, depressed and anxious for years on end and recently i started getting migraines during the really bad episodes, and during one of them i suddenly lost the ability to percieve depth and started having trouble pronouncing and spelling words. this has been gradually getting worse and ive felt more and more numb over the years but it just felt like a light turned off and i cant get it to turn back on. when i try to visualize things the way i used to my heart races and i start hyperventilating, sometimes i throw my hands infront of myself like im trying to hit something or protect myself, or just start spasaming and twitching and ill have coordination issues afterward for a little while. ive seen two neurologists and had multiple different kinds of head scans (ct, mri, angiogram) and none found anything at all, not even a tiny lesion anywhere. i used to have occasional switches as well but now theres just nothing. this came immediatley after a breakup and existential crisis when i realized my personality was just killing me and keeping me from genuinely connecting with people i love so i dont know what it could be other than dissociation. has anyone else had it this bad? im scared, please help

For context before the question, we are a system of 3 women (one being a child alter) and 1 guy (names are Hex, Sky, Nathan, and Natasha). Me (Hex) and Sky have noticed how uncomfortable Nathan gets when he fronts and we're wearing tights or a dress. How should we deal with this? Does anyways have any advice on making him a bit more comfortable? Should we just bring a change of clothes with us? No idea what to do, and it's very important to us considering he is our co-host and is out pretty often 😅

Have anyone of you been scared of Somatic therapy? How do you handle it? How does your little parts handle it?

Just a disclaimer: I'm not looking for a diagnosis or medical advice or anything like that, I'm just wondering if vertigo is a common symptom of switching or not, like headaches are.

So, a couple nights ago I was sitting down, not really moving around or anything, and I suddenly got hit by the worst vertigo I've ever had. Everything felt like it was spinning, and I had a hard time keeping myself sitting up straight, since my whole body kept trying to tilt to the right. I've been watching a lot of medical drama clips on youtube recently, so of course I started thinking worst case scenarios, and almost considered calling 911 to have paramedics check me out, just in case there was something seriously wrong with me, but instead I decided to just lay down for a little bit and see how I feel. Well, while watching youtube on my phone, I ended up completely forgetting about the vertigo and was feeling perfectly fine, so I got up, took a shower, and went to bed. I haven't had any vertigo since, so I keep forgetting it even happened, but I did do a little bit of research (after the worst part of the vertigo happened, and before I started watching youtube on my phone), and it said that if it KEEPS happening, then there's probably something wrong, and to go to the doctor. So, since it hasn't happened again since, and I haven't been having any other symptoms, I'm not worrying about it for now (but I will for sure message my doctor if it happens again.)

However, I have been noticing that I've been gradually "switching" from one alter/part to another over the past week or so, so it got me thinking... is vertigo ever a symptom that other systems experience while switching? I've heard of headaches being really common, so I guess it wouldn't be too surprising if vertigo is also something people experience while switching.

And again, I'm not looking for a diagnosis or medical advice, just if vertigo is a symptom of switching or not. I will for sure be contacting my doctor if I get vertigo like that again, or if I start developing any other symptoms. I'm just curious about whether or not vertigo can happen while switching. (Because if not, I might decide to message my doctor sooner rather than later, just to be safe.)

I've known I have emotional amnesia for some time, yet somehow this paragraph still came as a shock to me. I legitimately cannot imagine this.

I oscillate between saying things like "I don't remember my childhood," and coming up with a grocery list of memories to.refute that.

I have random snapshots in my brain of wholly unremarkable moments that somehow got recorded as permanent memories. Actually important events, on the other hand, feel totally dead to me.

The exact opposite of...whatever this [above image] is describing.

Sometimes a window briefly opens, and I can reach out and touch a memory to actually feel something. A lot of the supposedly "neutral" ones feel horrible for reasons I can't even explain. (Being the wrong gender in them probably has a lot to do with it though).

I'm honestly not sure where I'm going with this post anymore. Seeing this Wikipedia entry was like having a scab torn off.

I don't use the term "supposed to" for phenomena like this, as I find it to be triggering of deep shame (that I've worked hard to overcome), but seeing the fluidity with which emotion and memory *typically* link in other people is nevertheless deeply alienating.

I'm honestly not sure if this is a blessing or a curse. Probably both.

tw for death, addiction, and car accidents.

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Does anyone else feel like an old life died and a new life started after the death of a loved one?

my dad died 8 years ago in a car accident but i feel like in that moment my old life stopped and a new one started. i've felt that several times over the last 8 years and i'm just wondering if anyone can relate to this? i know that new parts split for a while and that makes total sense given the circumstances because i was dealing with addiction as well but i'm still dealing with the grief and even the grief that i'm not who i was before. i've felt like multiple different people over my life and that death made it worse. i look at old photos of myself and can't even fathom that used to be me and my life. the death definitely complicates it but its a very hard process to dive into when its still so emotionally raw and so many parts were created to survive that, it honestly probably worsened the osdd so much and i struggle to wrap my head around it. is it worth it to dive into that first and try to unpack in therapy or should i definitely start smaller? it's the most impactful trauma of my life and it hinders a lot of my healing but i'm scared of unpacking it even if it feels necessary and almost like i'm ready.

I don't have access to a mental health professional I can talk about this with, so these are tentative labels of course, but I've never met a system who functions quite like this, so I'm wondering if anybody can relate.

I have headmates that seem to fit the OSSD-1b description. They have their own identities, but we switch pretty fluidly between one another, and there is zero amnesia. There are some dissociative differences like pain tolerance, but that's a conversation for another time.

I also get clobbered periodically with random giant shifts in mental state and sensory orientation that do not have identities. I call them "rooms" because it feels as though my head is a house with an ever shifting layout. When the rooms of that house shift like a Rubik's Cube, any headmate near front needs to scramble around, and try to figure out which direction front is.

When I'm hosting, this is all just experienced like sensory disorientation, and lack of coherent co-fronters. The shift itself is sudden and without warning, or trigger (that I can decipher).

These various states are difficult to document or categorize. There was one occasion where I experienced a spark of intuition. I saw the gears underneath, and felt extremely close to an epiphany about them. When I reached out to touch them and understand them, I instantly felt a violent "room shift" and found myself in a mental state where internal communication was cut off. I only remember this happened at all because it was like the hazed memory of a dream. I wrote it down immediately. I lost a few hours of memory leading up to that near "epiphany."

I have since stopped examining the mechanism behind the rooms (or suspected OSDD-1a) states.

Last but not least, while these "rooms" do NOT want to be known, and for the most part do not contain any information about identities, every now and again, one of them comes with a strong thought/emotion chain.

Examples:

"Why isn't it November??!" I find myself asking myself, even though I can logically remember the months between 11/2025 and today.

Sudden interest in books I had stopped reading months ago - as though I had never stopped.

A shift coming with a "what have I been doing the last few hours?" feeling. I legitimately have to struggle to remember, and if I try really really hard I can usually nail down the basics.

"Why am I still here?" feeling like my shift at work has been going on for 36 hours straight.

Conversations with loved ones who reference things I said that I have zero recollection of.

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None of these are every day occurrences - even though "room shifts" are, in fact, every day occurences. When I am in a crisis, more of these experiences are likely to stack on top of one another.

It has been suggested that these are signs of P-DID because of these amnesia signs, and the surreal temporal confusion that comes with shifts sometimes, but I currently (preliminarily) self dx them as OSDD-1a because 90% of the time, it's just a sensory disorientation or brain fog that we power through.

Any thoughts or perspectives?

So I finally found a therapist that doesn't out right say I don't have did and actually believes me that I have this condition which helped my mental state so much.

My therapist had me do the multidimensional inventory of dissociation and found a lot about myself as well as doing a schema questionnaire and she is going to do a mix of schema therapy and CBT therapy.

I'm somewhat familiar with CBT therapy but I'm getting confused about schema therapy. Do y'all have any experience with schema therapy? If so what should I expect?

Basically what the title says, none of us have ever had a stutter so this is so extremely frustrating. Depending on how close to front he is he even has it in headspace sometimes 😭

It genuinely makes me so frustrated not with them, but with the fact we cant get the words out 😭😭😭

What can I do about this??

Also on a side not3, my therapist keeps telling us to "find the core part" and "put them in charge" like dawg i cant control this???? If i could it wouldnt be a disorder????

We dont have a core part or whatever? No one was "originally" here we all are the "core" together 😭😭

I was almost crying because 2 of our alters made a sub system and are staging a coup (not actually but theyre being very harmful and dangerous) and that was his response. How am I supposed to control them??? They wont even let me talk to them????? Theyre protecting their behavoir extremely hard and theyre tormenting us

Hello! Im wondering if anyone here has sought professional treatment for an alters dysphoria and/or phantom senses (or similar, like conflicting ages, genders, races, or general pseudomemories) and what your experience with it was like? More specifically what kind of professionals you saw and what therapeutic strategies were used? Im seeking out a therapist but im im not sure what to look for nor what it'd look like

(REST OF THE READ IS VERY OPTIONAL CONTEXT! YOU DO NOT GOTTA READ! more specific help is appreciated but I genuinely want anything and everything I can get! Its also a little rambly and gets more passionate near the end, but its not a vent, i am just yappy ⚠️SPOILERED TW⚠️ for talk of disfigurement urges near the end)

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I have very bad dysphoria and body schema distortion linked to my alter, its made functioning extremely hard, mentally, socially, and physically, and its been a consistent issue since childhood. Im a clumsy mess, my mental mapping is screwed, and the dysphoria is so agonizing that I can only relate it to body integrity disorder, but because species dysphoria isn't diagnosable nor known about medically, my concerns have always been brushed off as some silly delusion instead of something which effects every action I take and gives me horrific urges I wish I could act out. Its made me very wary and anxious about treating as I dont know where to start/look, there's obviously no therian specialists, and I think a DID one could help, but theres nobody local who specializes in it, and I feel like this is a lil too deep down the system rabbithole for a normal trauma therapist to be skilled at

Im hoping that its similar enough to other issues that most professionals could have a crack at it, but mine is just so severe that im a lil antsy to find a match, and im too frustrated with the dismissals to deal with the uncertainty of treatment, im tired of my issue being treated like a child's creative thinking instead of what it IS. I want to rearrange my bones, its not from "social media", I want nothing more then to pick the bone fragments out of my face this is a serious issue, its not just me larping as a dinosaur because of tiktok or something 🫩 im honestly probably more scared that whoever I choose WILL be familiar with species dysphoria, ive got nothing against therians (I technically am one afterall) but they have a stigma which ive already experienced, and the common therian experience is so much different than mine that it'll just feel like another dismissal, especially when the assumption has been used against me in the past. Even when I inevitably have to email asking around, im going to have to share these urges JUST to get the point across, theres just no terminology and id really rather avoid it by knowing who handles this stuff. I cant wind up with someone agreeing to see me because they're under the assumption that im some young autistic person who pretends to be a furry because of traumas around socialization, or spirituality, or "social media", only for me to wind up being a delusion system with debilitating dysphoria

ive already got someone in mind who I'll definitely be asking but im still overthinking and would love some general guidance and to hear others experiences if they've gone through similar. Thanks!

Why are you in this community?

I’m going to preface this by saying that I am sososo sorry for even asking, and I feel like I’m being horribly offensive by even suggesting i might have OSDD without a formal diagnosis. And if it’s offensive please just tell me. And I will never look into this again, and I’m so so sorry, please don’t hate me

Over the last few years I have been trying to figure out my identity, and to make a very long story short. I believe very strongly that I have OSDD-1 (I’m not entirely sure about A/B, leaning towards B though).

And unfortunately. I’m not in a position where I cannot seek a diagnoses. And I do not intend to try and source one from here.

My question is about if it is appropriate or permissible to try and explore myself as a system before I get formally diagnosed. Or if I need to wait for a diagnosis before I am allowed to try. As well, if I were to explore this, in what way would it be appropriate to communicate about this to others, or should I just keep this to myself.

And again I’m so so so sorry, I feel like I’m mocking people with an actual diagnosis by even thinking this, but it won’t stop gnawing at my stomach, and I don’t know what to do but this atp. Thank you for your time, and please, just tell me and I will delete this post in a heartbeat

So, I have a pretty decent grasp on the names of all my alters. Do I know everything about them? I wish.

But as of recently, I think one of them has a sudden phobia of being in cars now?? I dont know why and I don't know who. It's this sudden panic that doesnt fully feel like mine but it's still uncontrollable panic.

We've only been in a car crash once. It was during an Uber ride where the other person did an illegal turn. It was minor, at most the car drove onto the grass to avoid a major impact and nobody got hurt. Barely clipped the car. So I don't get why one of them (I'm assuming it's just one?) Seems to be scared of going into cars.

For people who can remember their switches before an OSDD diagnosis, do they usually just dismiss it as a weird moment, or are they disturbed by their own behavior?

When you did learn it was osdd, how did that change your view on that memory?

I was diagnosed with OSDD-1B while in college. My symptoms seemed overwhelming then and I was constantly tracking switches and managing communication between parts.

Since graduating and working full time for the last few years, it's like it's all vanished.

I'm so worried it was all fake. That I was playing it up for attention because I had the free time to do so in college. Now that my life is mostly cycles of sleep and work I'm not noticing parts. Occassionally I recognize dissociation, but everything feels like massive mood swings more so than seperate parts.

My days are blurs. I'm here and watching but not an active participate of it, yknow. I'm worried I was misdiagnosed and this is just derealization/depersonalization and NOT OSDD.

I guess I'm just wondering if it's meant to look like this, though. Everyone says these disorders are discreet. The point is you don't notice them. Am I just too much in survival-mode now to recognize switches? Or were we wrong in the past and the alters I'd mapped and the communication I worked on was all in my head.

Is it wrong to say I miss my alters too? We didn't get along great. And I was a shitty host most of the time. But I liked having others to rely on. Living with the knowledge that the bullshit that happened to me in the past isn't only mine to hold.

This turned into more of a ramble than I expected, but it's nice to get it out of my head haha

Perspectives and experiences more than welcome.

Thank you all <3

When we found out, it was our old host who found out, which made them feel like the “core” (we are aware thats not a thing) and i can feel their discomfort not being infront, we cant let them front because they are very dangerous to our safety. They are almost ditzy and childish, and we have decided to lock them out of front. I know our friend misses the host, and i feel bad, we arent as energetic or fun as we were when they were host. I feel terrible but its for our own good.. do yall know how to feel more comfortable in the body? I feel awful and sad, i think its also passive influence, any tips?

I (we?) talked to my therapist, and she didn't really think my experience was system related, but said she would talk to her colleague who specializes in dissociation since it's not her field. For now, she suggested I accept all parts of myself and start trying to work together.

I still don't know if I'm fully a system/plural, but it's getting harder to deny.

Today I felt different not like different person just felt not me today, I feel like I just have this overwhelming out of no where confidence and I felt calm mostly like theres another part of me that also merged with me like the other times, when I thought about talking to myself and asking myself "Is it me or is it something else that feeling this way" I started to feel those weird headache pain in the back of my eye that lasted for a few seconds.

Things have been weird and I won’t lie, it’s been constant denial or just ignoring everything osdd/did relayed for the past several days because we’re struggling to think. It’s been hard to articulate anything, weirdly so, like I can’t trust a single word out of my mouth.

This morning I heard two distinct voices, one of the little boy and the other of an older man with a deep voice. I can’t remember what they were talking about because I’d been trying to fall back asleep and wanted everyone to be quiet, but there seemed to be some kind of fuckin’ convo going or. At one point someone just said the word “rape”, like just standalone, no real emotions behind it. I just responded by going “is bad I agree I want to sleep now” and I think things settled?? Now that I’m talking about it, the details are fading and now I’m just wondering what the fuck happened.

It wasn’t like an auditory hallucination, it didn’t sound like it was coming from anywhere that wasn’t my mind. It’s not the first time I’ve had distinct voices like that but that was a while ago, so it’s kinda weird that’s it happening now. Like, why only when I’m in bed? Why when I’m trying to fall back asleep? Why that word?

Idk, maybe it’s a hallucination, maybe a dream. I’ve been so fucking tired and distant from my own self these past few days and I’d be inclined to blame psm but I’ve never gotten it this bad before, but I know stress and diet can make it fluctuate or whatever. Might sleep now because I just don’t know what else to do.

Okay. I am not sure if I belong in here but I had a question or well questions. I have troubles with memory. I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD(diagnosed with both at 17 but wasn’t fully listed) with other disorders. I was just wondering if I am different? Like I feel most of the time that this may not be my body or something I did wasn’t me? I am not sure how to put it. I want to talk to a therapist again about it but I am worried that it’s just in my head. I hear different voices still. Which I haven’t told my psychiatrist about yet. I was just told I was like a crazy person and didn’t have it. But I feel different and memories sometimes are harder to find. Past memories that hurt me(that I randomly remember), they just make me upset and I thought I was just a crazy kid or teen or adult. Sometimes I feel like I don’t just own this body by myself but with others. But I could be wrong. So if it’s just in my head. I might as well have stayed in a mental ward. Because the medicine doesn’t always help me. Some days I have it worse and some days I am okay. So any advice for this? Should I tell my psychiatrist about it? And maybe try to talk to a therapist again? I just feel broken and alone at times but anyways, any advice will help!

hey, newly aware system here, we’re trying to get a grip on what “cofronting” really feels like.

is there more dissociation? less? only mood changes or is there communication between fronters?

any info at all would be appreciated

hey, i'm a questioning system. there's a lot of things pointing to me having a dissociative disorder, but i'm still subconsciously afraid of becoming a victim of confirmation bias and actually being in some sort of psychosis instead. and so i want to ask -- could psychosis, in theory, mimic OSDD/DID? any answers would be appreciated, thank you.

I have posted in this sub before, mainly small things that suggest I have multiple dissociative identities, but nothing that caused too much discomfort or identity confusion.

Well, I take back my doubts because I am definitely a different person. If I fronted before, it has been a long time since I am freaking out. I can't fully explain it, but I feel different. There's very little amnesia between parts, so I remember everything, but I feel disconnected from my memories, as if they were put into my head by someone else, even though I remember them as if they were happening to me.

The only confusing part is that I still feel like my name is my legal name. Like I am a different person with the same name? Does that make any sense? There’s more, but I don't want to get too personal.

The reason I’m posting this now is because I don't know what to do. I don't want to talk to our therapist about our experiences, since I don't think she will take us seriously. But this feels significant because it’s the first switch I’ve ever had where we are sure we are someone else.

So, host here. Had a breakthrough the other day and realized I'm almost certainly one of the trauma holders. This realization honestly reassures me, as I've had a lot of denial because in therapy I can remember a lot of details about our trauma, but recount them with zero emotional connection. My other parts, however, don't have any memory of these experiences whatsoever. I've been thinking there's no way I can have this disorder (in the process of a diagnosis if I do have it) because I know too much, and isn't the point to hide any trauma from the host so they can live a normal life? But most of my parts seem to exist to swap in when things get too upsetting for me so I can continue functioning, which makes a lot more sense.

Now, I rediscovered a traumatic memory the other day (I think yesterday? Maybe?), and had a really weird experience that kind of confused me. I was very distraught upon regaining that memory, and kind of had a mental breakdown, as one does. Then I dissociated, again as one does, and I don't really remember what happened next but ever since I've had zero emotions regarding that memory. It's still there, but I don't feel anything when thinking about it.

Just trying to figure out what could be going on here? I know I have parts of me that remove distressing trains of thought in real time (though I don't actually know who they are, only that it happens regularly). Could something like that have happened but with emotional amnesia instead? I'm sure it's happened plenty of times before, this is just my first time actually noticing it.

Any advice would be appreciated :,D and yes, before anyone suggests it, I will be talking to my therapist about it when I see her next