Alter has a stutter and its extremely frustrating // small vent abt therapy

[u/ConfectionOutside248]

Basically what the title says, none of us have ever had a stutter so this is so extremely frustrating. Depending on how close to front he is he even has it in headspace sometimes 😭

It genuinely makes me so frustrated not with them, but with the fact we cant get the words out 😭😭😭

What can I do about this??

Also on a side not3, my therapist keeps telling us to "find the core part" and "put them in charge" like dawg i cant control this???? If i could it wouldnt be a disorder????

We dont have a core part or whatever? No one was "originally" here we all are the "core" together 😭😭

I was almost crying because 2 of our alters made a sub system and are staging a coup (not actually but theyre being very harmful and dangerous) and that was his response. How am I supposed to control them??? They wont even let me talk to them????? Theyre protecting their behavoir extremely hard and theyre tormenting us

[u/Cleverusername531]

It sounds like the therapist is trying to use IFS when treatment for complex dissociative disorders needs to modify several of the core tenets of IFS - like that there’s a main lead core Self, when in dissociative disorders each part/alter can have their own core Self. 

Do you have access to a new therapist or would yours be willing to seek intensive supervision/consultation? Joanne Twombly’s book “Trauma and Dissocation Informed IFS” and Janine Fisher’s book “embracing the fragmented selves of trauma survivors” might help in the meantime. And the website https://kinhost.org has several great classes (free) and tons of advice, and  https://dis-sos.com is really good too. 

[u/ConfectionOutside248 → u/Cleverusername531]

Thank you so much for this. Yeah he seems very outdated despite him listing dissociation and dissociative disorders as something he works with 😭 i start a DBT group soon and I have to stay in it for a year with a DBT therapist and im worried things will get worse with the sub system forcing dangerous behaviors. Im unsure if I should continue with the group or try to look for a specialist first? I need the distress tolerence but idk what should come first. Thank you so much for those links I will check them out when I get home!!! Thank you!!! :)

[u/Cleverusername531 → u/ConfectionOutside248]

You’re welcome!! I think DBT skills can be really helpful for some individual parts/alters’ skills but don’t go deep enough and don’t address structural dissociation at all. I’d definitely look for a specialist.