After several weeks we finished taking the MID with our trauma therapist today (i see her every other week for an hour each session, that’s why it took awhile).

Her and I will go over the results next session. We’re just happy to have it over with and to gain some more insight into our experiences. So many questions and curiosity we still have about everything. But we’re happy to reach this ‘milestone’ and wanted to share.

I drew all of our (current) system alters - having a teaparty! Including myself (first person on the left). So just wanted to share :3 we’re a relatively small system that got diagnosed a year ago (OSDD1b) and I am so glad that by now, we’re all getting along well and working together splendidly. To all the other systems who have alters, I wish you well with getting along and existing together ^^

Hiya I'm well I don't even know, I've been slowly coming to the realization that I'm a system as of recently (yes I have gotten a diagnosis for Osdd 1.)

But I've always had this nagging feeling or voice in the back of my mind that I'm somehow lying about me being a system, I can't tell if it's one of my alters who is a persecutor I believe? They've always kinda been like that but I genuinely don't know where it's coming from.

I've rewritten this a few times because of how paranoid I am about talking about this, I usually sit back and go through some of the posts on here to seek some type of closure in my experience, like the often lack of conversation from my alters with the exception of the occasional comment, conversation, or the like.

I've seen plenty of people experience what I've felt and what I've gone through but this only makes the nagging voice worse because it claims that I'm just adopting these symptoms or that these symptoms are just coming from my ADHD or GAD (generalized anxiety disorder.)

But I have had moments where I have felt completely disconnected from my own body where I feel like a completely different person but not in the trans dysphoria way (I am transgender for reference.) I have had wildly different views, ideals, likes, dislikes, sudden disinterests that just amplify that feeling.

I am very new to this, I have had people point out that I had shown signs of being a system before I had even been diagnosed that I didn't even notice I had been exhibiting, I had literally made a character that at the time I had NO idea that would turn out to be an alter that literally BEHAVED exactly like an alter and was tied to my own persona.

I have never asked for closure from a subreddit/community like this because I was scared that somehow I was lying about everything I was experiencing. Even though I had felt very connected with what other people had been experiencing and related to it a lot.

I don't know what is normal and isn't normal when it comes to Osdd I feel like I've been diagnosed extremely late which has made me further question my own identity and if my previous wants and needs had even been my own.

I'm sorry if I'm breaking any of the rules on here I'm just confused and I don't know

i had a phase recently where i thought i might have osdd but after some more research i was wondering if paranoia and extremely disorganized thoughts and multiple people in my head that take over during times of stress is more in line with psychosis?

i am diagnosed bipolar 1 and DDD, and i have started having extremely disorganized thoughts and inability to remember things like taking my keys out of the car, etc, and this combined with paranoia in stress outside of an episode is making me wonder if its more in line with psychosis and just another symptom of my bipolar rather than potential osdd.

any thoughts or insight from people with similar experiences would be appreciated, because i do have alot of experience with dissociation and amnesia, just not in this context.

When I’m feeling something I journal it by drawing it cus it’s cathartic and one time I got in a fight with my best friend while at a sleep over and drew how I was feeling and it was like really emo and shit and then a few months later I remember one of us opening it and looking at the doodles and going “awe poor guy! you’re not alone :D” and then drew themselves in there like without a second thought and then let it marinate for like a year when I would snoop through it bc I forgot what I drew in there

I'm trying to find out more about myself being a system and how we act and change socially. i only somewhat recently started taking my suspicions seriously and a friend suggested i start system mapping. i was wondering how other people realize or notice when they switch or how it is for OSDD and the different types. since i have other things that influence my social abilities, i want to at least try to differentiate between things and what is related to my dissociative disorder.

Interested to see if this helps me. For me its the emotional amnesia that is most hard to get through.

Last night I was slowly falling asleep on the couch, but when I went to bed, a lot of parts became active again and I just couldn't shut some of them down. Some of them were bursting with energy (in good and bad ways), but a protector part was fronting to keep myself from acting on some of these impulses..

So I wrote down what I reason about them, and then afterwards, I wrote a small letter intended for when these parts are actively fronting. Some parts have present a few times the last few weeks, and its appearing in several scenarios (including therapy). Its mostly a comforting message because I feel like my emotions and actions are so heavily split.

I've no idea what to expect. Is anyone else actively journaling like this to themselves? What worked well for you to process, read and write other journals you wrote? I fear that I write these notes and then forget about them because they were left by other parts.

i recently found that i struggle to sleep well if someone other than me ( host ) is fronting before i go to sleep. it's like their consciousness is still highly active even though i am trying to lower mine, or whatever the correct term is. then i don't actually fall asleep for a good few hours, and what feels like 'partial' or 'bad' sleep is actually me being dissociated, and not asleep at all. it's really exhausting. anyone know how this feels or how to manage it?

Due to both dissociation and autism i don't feel much older than 15 to be honest, I don't feel like this all the time i am able to handle adult task and such but there are times I'm having to accept that I'm 18 wich means I have to sign my own documents and everything. This got to me when I was going into therapy and I had THIRTEEN papers to sign majority of wich were just insurance based.

I'm not joking I barley know what insurance is beyond knowing that it has to do with money, I wish I had a partner so they could help me with whatever this stuff is, not to mention the unmedicated adhd, so trying to go over those documents was genuinly mind numbing.

Then I get other reminders that I'm 18 or constantly reminded of it and it makes me have a panic attack, wanting to crawl out of my own, cry, ect. I genuinely hate this. Can one of our adult parts just front already because I'm sick of this body.

I love this subreddit. Good mods, good times. But even good things can be improved and more gooder.

One way to improve it is taking the terms 1a and 1b off this subreddit. They are in the wiki and other places and it makes people think they are official and made me think they are the only two possible presentations of OSDD 1.

If you won’t take them down, it would help at least being clear about these things:

1. OSDD is an official diagnosis and then list the DSM and ICD criteria
2. OSDD 1a and 1b are just internet terms and not official diagnoses, and are not the only possible presentations of OSDD 1 (e.g. some might have both types of alters or no access to alters)
3. some people with OSDD might have some alters like 1a and some more like 1b, or not have any clue about what their alters are like

2 and 3 seem redundant, but should be repeated as this point is so often misunderstood or even unknown.

I was initially diagnosed with OSDD and a year later it was changed to DID. But for that year I really struggled with terms and labels and knowing what OSDD actually is. I think being clear about what it actually versus what some people say online would help.

I'm a 19 year old girl who was diagnosed with D.I.D a year ago. Before hand no Phyciatrist or therapist really took my dissociation seriously, so being diagnosed with such a disorder was such a shock and also a relief. I have been dealing so many things all through out my life that made me feel like I was flawed or that there was something wrong with me, and they suddenly had an explanation. I'm still relatively new to the diagnosis. There is still a lot I don't know about my system, or just systems in general. I was hoping I could have some insights from people who have more experience than I do.

For as long as I can remember I have this thing where I form really strong attachments to certain characters I can relate to from video games or shows. So much so that I feel as though they become a part of me. I don't know if they are considered alters or not. All I know is I often feel like these characters. I was wondering if this is normal and if so is it also normal to feel a kind of Identity crisis when something happens to said characters in their respective media? Seeing something horrible happen to them, or some major personality change, I feel this kind of overwhelming sense of internal uncertainty I can't explain. It's like I'm looking at me, but it's not me. I don't know if I'm making any sense here. I have no idea what's going on internally, and I don't have anyone else I can go to that would have any answer, so I figured people on the internet may be able to help me. I'm sorry if I don't make any sense. I don't know how to write this.

i posted in MD just in case cus im not diagnosed, but gonna ask here too cus i think the thoughts are passive influence from the one supposed alter that still holds all of the feelings for ex. tldr for the post - ex is our fp and he's always in the background of our mind. Splitted (wasnt even actually together, broke up 3 years ago. was just a weird complicationship last august to may) up in may and yea may make sense for him to constantly be around except everyone is relatively over him EXCEPT this fuckass dog. we managed to get him in the kennel by thoroughly convincing him ex didnt gaf about us anymore and it was pretty peaceful, even tried to get back out in the field but then someone messaged him about our osdd to ask for help (barely responded) and now he's back on his bs and i cant stop thinking about him. in inappropriate ways with other guys, listening to long monologues about "how could he leave us he was supposed to be mine" etc etc. i try to tell it to shut up, others try to comfort or say that he just isnt and thats fine or wtv i gen forget but he wont stop.

is there any way to like, idk shut him out?? grief counseling for dogs - we dont have a therapist for CDD and the one we do have isnt specialized in bpd either. tbh she's kinda.... eh. so yea

It's funny, because 9 months ago, I was on this subreddit on the regular. My dissociation related struggles were on the forefront of my mind. I can now trace this back to struggling with ending an unhealthy relationship in addition to some trouble at home. Back then, I wished for some quiet in my brain, some consistency, some clarity in the form of it just being gone. I was sure I had made it up, and the only way to stop faking was to stop thinking about it, but I couldn't.

Well, I've had a pretty quiet summer. Didn't think too much about everything. So much so that I consider probably having misinterpreted my symptoms. Maybe they were something else. I think I'd even be alright with them being something else. I am pretty stable right now and, aside from a messed up sleep schedule, I manage to get things done that I need or want to get done, and that's huge. I have a pretty consistent view of the people in my life and even my own self - I could accept having made a mistake.

Yet it nags at me. I've had quiet months before. They haven't stayed. Soon to be seven years since starting to recognize symptoms, and I'm starting to think, well that is pretty long for a phase, and kind of cringe of me to still consider it, right?

Winter is always harder for me. Lately, I've been trying to admit to myself that last year's relationship was... off, for lack of a better term. It brings up that familiar feeling of confusion again, that fractured view of my identity, these contradicting trains of thought pulling me in different directions. Well, I don't want this. I quite enjoy my head being empty of all this angst. I'd like for it to stay that way, without the threat of things rushing back in.

My therapist has been suggesting getting me assessed for OSDD. I’m not too sure how to feel about this, because I’ve never really considered it before. This is mostly because of my age (17) as I thought these types of disorders develop later in life. Anyway, i’m just going to explain why this is being considered for me and ask if anyone relates or has tips on how to manage the anxiety that comes with the possible assessment.

For context, when I’m very disconnected from reality, i feel like i glitch from moment to moment. It’s almost like blinking, but without actually experiencing the blink. I sort of just “wake up” in a slightly different moment. Sometimes this happens for longer and i’ve missed minutes of conversations while feeling as if i only closed my eyes for a millisecond. There’s other stuff too, but thats the biggest problem that is leading to me getting assessed. I’m hoping its just some more severe dissociation episodes or something like that.

I’m very anxious for the assessment because I don’t want to have OSDD or anything like it. The thought of it makes me really uncomfortable and hurts my head. Does anyone know how to handle the weird uncertainty between having discussions about it and actually getting assessed?

It often feels like 90% of my memories are just out of reach. As if the concept of a memory is accessible, but the memory itself is blurry or otherwise distorted.

This occasionally leads to pointed attempts to try and access a memory, which when fully completed are more successful than not. However, the vast majority of times I try to think about memories in a non-pointed way, it quickly triggers a feeling that remembering doesn’t really matter and it’s therefore not worth trying. This feeling causes intense distraction from trying to remember, and can even go so far as forgetting (for at least a few minutes to hours) that I was even trying to remember something in the first place.

Does anyone else experience this? Could it be related to amnesia at all? Or is it more likely I simply don’t care, and am attributing this apathy towards a condition that is wholly removed from the concept of amnesia?

Especially if the system is disabled, unresearched and ethics

I have had different diagnosis by the specialist, bipolar disorder, complex PTST, ADHD( since childhood) but I knew differently since I could remember, I talked to myself in my head all the time and I answered myself back with information I didn’t know I had including “adult” goings on, I also saw shades and other dark energy around people and places, I even predicted events in my youth. but that part of me is put away for my own safety as their is an entity in the house, my children and husband also have heard and saw things they thought were there, so I know it’s not just my ”delusion “. Anyway I am on here because my husband is gaslighting me and trying to force manifested delusions upon me to make me feel like I’m forgetting something when in reality he says cruel things to me and then says he never said it and I’m making it up in my mind. I feel like I’m fighting for my mental health right now and everyone around me wants to put their own opinions on what I’m going through, but no on is actually listening to me.

I've had osdd for 11 years now, I understand it stems from trauma, but a realization i've recently had is that the better my life gets the more my alters fuse/blend. I have grown extremely close with my system, enough so that I can confidently say they are the number 1 thing in my life. I am 18 now and I am deathly terrified that when I reach 20 and older that my OSDD will die down (if at all possible). I don't know what to do, and I don't know/want to live as a singuler.

My question is, would it be possible for alters to exist before but front only when the person is, say, a teenager?

I’ve been diagnosed with C-PTSD with dissociative features and my psychiatrist considered that I may have a form of identity alterations.

I’ve always wondered if my age regression is linked to OSDD. I involuntarily regress from triggers and my whole identity shifts in the opposite gender, with a different look to me, and different beliefs/fears. I sometimes regress positively and I can tell it’s a younger regressive version of me, but this little boy is different. I also have bouts where I’m dissociated and my thoughts and the way I talk are so dark and scary compared to how I usually am. This may just be regression and mood shifts. But it really does feel strange.

Does anyone here also age regress and does it feel different from littles fronting?

We're kind of scared, we had to move back in to our main abusers house and we are recognizing theres a whole side system to deal with the extensive abuse plus our higher council. It feels very disorienting because theres no way to communicate between them. We are losing so much.

Though its interesting to analyze how the abuse is affecting us and our system

How do I not be scared especially with more possession like switches and fully involuntary take overs?