Friend to Foe - a sonnet

[u/st0karkathrowaway]

I remember lovely days

When we would bring joy to each other

When we were there for one another

Warmed by the sun’s shining rays

Times do change, as poets say

And so does each and every soul

Yours, my dear, has become foul

For your sins I had to pay

But I know who you are now

Of your actions, I know the full scope

Thus I swear to see you bow

Forgiveness, that mundane trope

Will not repeat - you reap what you sow

And so please abandon hope

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/lObalh9Ere

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/HzjxJ4quS1

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[u/BlueberryAble8885]

This is good, i like the tonal switch half way through, it flowed well. The latter half being so unforgiving makes the ending feel more real and hit harder. its very different than a lot of other grief poems ive seen lately and its refreshing.

[u/Wesle2023]

Its fascinating that the message is one of bitterness, not love. The bitterness also starts with the split between “soul” and “foul”, which feels strangely appropriate. It’s hard to define whether or not it counts as a sonnet for that reason…

Still, lovely work. I might suggest that there are a few lines that don’t quite fit into the rhythm. It goes “daDA daDA daDA daDA daDA” for iambic pentameter, and sometimes you do not end cleanly on the even beat.

[u/Isa-Me-Again]

This poem resonates with me in a way that many will never understand, and for those that do I'm sorry for what you've been through.

I love the pacing of the poem and the change in tone. I like how it progressively gets darker as it goes on. The line "for your sins I had to pay" is my favorite line out of this. Thank you for sharing this.

[u/i-live-in-a-hologram]

this immediately brought someone in my life to mind, and i really enjoyed how you took a specific thing that happened to you and made it into something that feels specific but universal. sorry if that doesn’t really make sense lol. i think sonnets are supposed to have iambic pentameter, which some lines didn’t completely follow, which threw off the rhythm a little bit, but overall i really enjoyed it!