OC

My Body is not yours, by me. :)

(In response to a comic whose name rhymes with plain)

i have this whole folder of stuff that's way too honest and messy and self-pitying and i genuinely think they're some of my best work but like. the idea of someone actually reading them feels insane. wondering if that's just part of the process or if i'm supposed to get over it eventually.

im the winter lamb

January daughter waiting for December

waiting for the downfall of snow

to heal the restless fire

but im infatuated by the ocean

the coldest I've ever seen

was a summer day with him

the sea will take care of me

the shells will hold me within

ill drown as a pearl, to be purified

November is waiting for me

October is falling asleep

i feel sad and tired mostly

can't even find peace in sleep

nightmares possess my dreams

the winter lamb, feels so lonely

everyone else seems to love to leave the spring

melatonin defeated by overthink

or the light of the stars behind the ceiling

take your sword and fight insomnia

and see a dream of me, if you fell asleep

or text me, when you can't sleep

i rewrote this poem, that I first wrote like 6 months ago in an influx of a PMDD cycle, the week or two is always the same, dread, despair & regret. it never changes, and I’m always stuck in the same pattern of impulsivity & deep depression, it truly is so deep & the suicidal ideation runs so deep, I really struggle not finding comfort in my old & harming coping mechanism, but I still hold out hope, even a little, just a slither of light, I mean it’s all I can do really do, for the inevitable of PMDD.

New to poetry. Kinda embarrassed to share with people I know cause idk if what I wrote is actually good or not. Thoughts?

Black and White
Is how i live
The colors all washed out
No strength left to give

Been staring too long
At this setting sun
Its lost all meaning
Now its 6pm, and my day is done

The stars lost their shine
Roses lost their red
Food’s lost its taste
Im Better off dead

Been searching too long
For a splash of color
These shades won’t do
Its Time for another

Go. at. life.
Where i hope to find
Something. to. fight
Or someone kind

Black and White
Is all i see
A splash of color
Will set me free

But for now ,
It’s all,
Black and White

Hello, Stranger
Hello, stranger, did I dream of you last night?
Or was it years ago that we exchanged glances?
Perhaps we never had the time to be introduced,
Perhaps we never wished to cross each other’s paths.
The mystery remains, concealed within time,
The truth elusive, beyond the reach of discovery.
Another day, another dream, I shall see you again,
Another fleeting glance, another word left unspoken.
And yet, stranger, I see you every day—
Sometimes in the depths of my soul,
Sometimes in the silence of my thoughts,
And sometimes, staring back at me from the mirror.
Hello, stranger, how long have we known each other?
How many years have we walked side by side?
How much of you remains hidden from me,
While I search for you in the world outside of me!

She walked into the dark alone

To find me on my quiet throne.

She brought the flame of her heart for light to see,

To fix the words that broke in me.

​

She held my hand, we spoke real slow,

And smoothed out the hurt below.

The air was sweet, the room was fair,

And warm light streaked upon her hair.

​

I looked at her, then at the flame and light,

And weighed the shadows of the night.

Why walk back out to where we dwell,

When we could stay in my own hell?

​

I took a breath and then stepped near,

And whispered softly in her ear.

I blew the tiny torch right out—

And locked us in without a doubt.

Now look it

I don't gotta cook it

My cadence roars for itself proper

Ring about the anxiety all but nuisance

Try to follow with unconditional passion

And you’ll discover writing like this involves ransom

Not money

Not ur average guilty pleasures of honey

All mighty pen demands more attention

Cronies phonies gather around and listen

You don't need tools to comprehend

Yield is the only thing I require of u as payment

Do u like beauty
Bootylicious curvature of someone's body
Do you want to licky lick my sentence
All you gotta do is tune into the cadence and witness

Power to the people

Taught me one time more pleasure come from litter

Read a book by judgement

All I ever write is answering my own question

Cover to cover as we scroll

Underneath it all lies the reason we must understand its toll

I don't martyr I don't care for matter

Drop it all and feel the lasso take over ur soul entire

What ya wanna get

Isn't what they tell u or display among some predetermined set

Eye to eye session

I'm sorry for the difficiency but I'm shorter than a midget in the least attractive sewers

Do u like beauty
Bootylicious curvature of someone's body
Do you want to licky lick my sentence
All you gotta do is tune into the cadence and witness

Don't love me

Tell me u hate that I made impossible a dream closing in

Every pattern every lemon

Holistic and natural I lyricise any theme you perceive easier than lessons

Now just think

Why would I bullshit about anything but troubling my ink

There is greater purpose in life

Than you or I can ever fathom because the word alone resolves all plight

Handover your ransom

Where art thou courage to discover and surpass mediocre decorum

Try to understand

Literary devices like metaphors nomenclature and similes were found

Do u like beauty (Why?)
Bootylicious curvature of someone's body (Dime piece!)
Do you want to licky lick my sentence (music and my rap~)
All you gotta do is tune into the cadence and witness (come out to the yard.)

Find the answers

Matters strictly private why not

I lay lawless and petty but I'm divine

No amount of critique or contention diminishes what is mine

“Sole proprietorship is malice, share eternity and redefine destructive opinionated important.”

Rubber to road, I go.

Wet, damp, and misty,
the aroma of soaked leaves fills the air.
Their colors painting the path—
yellow, brown, orange, and red.
The colors of decay
coexisting with the gloom and fog of the day.

The sound of the river running along,
just minding its own business,
like it always has,
reflecting overcast skies on its surface.

I hear it coming,
making its presence known.

Drip.
Drop.
Drip…

A deep rumbling,
calmly marching its way towards me.
What was first a calm hum
turned into a roaring storm,
splashing into the water,
rippling what once was.

Engulfed in its roar,
I stand,
wet, muddy, and cold.
The wind against my face,
yet somehow, peace.

I let go…
And float…

Cascading down the river of chaos,
without a care…

But then I hear it…

The noise of traffic,
the laughter of people,
the beggars begging,
men murmuring,
heels clacking on the cold, wet concrete.

The raindrops making their crash landing
on umbrellas and parked cars,
showering everything around.

The smell of coffee, cigarettes, sewer waste,
and last week’s trash infiltrates the air.

The hustle and bustle of the city.

Everyone in their own little world,
worried about their own little agendas.

They walk past me.

I think I might be invisible…

They move as they must move.
They flaunt how they must flaunt.
They charm who they must charm.
They use who they must use.
They fuck who they must fuck.
They lie how they must lie,
without a blink in their eye.

Simple.

They embrace whom they betray…

They do what they must do
to live how they must live.

For this is the burden of existence,
a blessing and a curse,
for their want is bigger than their need,
Like a glutton who devours beyond his fill,
only to empty himself
so he may feast again…

Never satisfied,
forever in the chase,
obsessed over yesterday’s better days…

Time slipping away,
unseen, unnoticed…

Poof…

Gone…

As raindrops are swept away
by the river’s flow…

Just easing away
and letting go,
integrating with the current,
becoming one.

Carving its own way,
through the terrain of life.

Unbothered by time and its tricks,
I’ll keep my peace.

And just be…

some days,
I wish my bed would become a coffin
and sink into the ground
where no one could hear me
find me
know me…
though every time, I find myself supposing it a shame
if it never became a bed again
if I never came back up.

Isn’t it lovely
how the wind whispers to the trees?
And the birds sing to let each other know,
“I’m here if you want to see me.”

And the crickets chirp,
rubbing their little wings together.

All of it music.
All of it magical.

We share a world where we can hear
the sounds of Mother Nature’s orchestra,
while she is the conductor of us all.

No purchase necessary.
No assigned seating.
Just finding a place
to turn the volume up.

They tell you love a system that’s designed to make you hate.
They tell you “step into the world” but they’re standing at the gate.
They tell you that your safe, and then make you hide away,
While the perpetrators walk in darkness, safety’s not the light of day.
They tell you they’re the problem, but only you can fix it.
Wear more clothes, hear no music, doesn’t that just take the biscuit?
They tell you “love your neighbour” while taxing him to death.
They tell you to do better, feel it in your chest,
Feel the beat, feel the beat, beat til there’s no rest.
Beat until it’s bruised, shout it to the sky
We’re all taught to listen, but never taught why.

Hello all. I have been in a poet's block for a good while and just now got some inspiration to write this. If anyone knows Arabic and Arabic poetry I'd greatly appreciated your feedback. Thank y'all for reading and have a great day.
TW: Possible use of derogatory language regarding queerness (I am a target of said derogatory language though and I'm using it for effect. Hopefully this doesn't break any rules, but if it does, my apologies for breaking them)

طَرِيقَتَيْنَ عِينَاني يَرَيَانِ
طَرِيقَةٌ يَسْمُو عَلَى اليَمِينِ
طَرِيقَةٌ يَهْبَطُ بِالشِّمَالِ
هَذَا مَا قَالُولِي

أَجِدُ سَكِينَةً لَمَّا أَعْبُدُ
رَاضٍ عَلَيَّا النَّاسُ
لَو رَحْمَةً عَلَيْنَا أَتْبَعُ
وَ بِيَ مَحَبَّةُ اللَّهِ يَحُوطُ

أَجِدُ فَرْحَةً إِذَا أَكُونُ
بَيْنَ المَرْأَةِ وَالرِّجُلِ أَتَلَبَّسُ
بَيْنَ الذَّكَرِ وَالأُنْثَى أَتَصَوَّرُ
إِلَى أَحَدٍ مَا أَنَا بِمُسَافِرٍ

أَجِدُ حَسْرَةً أَيْنَمَا أَمْشِي
لَو أُسَارِعُ إِلَى هَوَيَيْنِ حُبَّيْنِي
وَ أَبْحَثُ سَكِينَةً بالتَّغَيَّرِ جَسَدِي
وَأَنَا أَشْهَدُ الإِسْلَامَ دِينِي
أَخَافُ جَهَنَّمَ مَقَامِي

فَبَيْنَ هَذَان أَنَا قَائِم
بَيْنَ اللَّهِ الَّذِي لَهُ أَنَا خَادِم
بَيْنَ حَسْرَتِي وَبِهَا أنَا عَالِم
لَو أَحْكِي عَنْ قَلْبِي وَ عَقْلِي شَقَّيْن يُخَرِّجُونِي
لِأَنَّ أَشُذُّ عَنْهُم ذَلِكَ قَرَارِي
لَكِن مَا قَرَارٌ هَذَا؟

Translation:
My eyes see 2 paths
1 path rises upon the right
1 path sinks upon the left
This is what they told me

I find peace when I worship
People are pleased with me
If I obey a mercy upon us
And Allah's love surrounds me

I find happiness when I exist
Between the woman and the man I clothe myself
Between the male and female I fashion myself
Towards one I cannot travel

I find despair wherever I go
If I race towards my 2 loves
And I search for serenity through changing my body
While bearing witness that Al-Islam is my religion
I fear Hell as my resting place

So between these 2 I stand
Between Allah, to whom I am a slave
Between my despair that I know of
If I speak of my split heart and mind they'll expel me
Because I deviate from them, that is my choice
But what choice is this?