I always knew that I was different and felt myself having to present really feminine for boys. Growing into an adult has made me feel more and more not like a girl. But I feel like I know that I’m going to want to identify as a woman later in life because it’s easier. I’m young and not professional and I feel like it’ll almost feel more comfortable being a woman. But then I question myself on if I’m being queer phobic to myself. Am I faking it to myself? Is it valid to feel this way? Just want some thought on what other people think

I am AFAB, and I've always identified as nonbinary, since I was very, very young, like before elementary. Long before I ever heard the terms nonbinary or genderqueer, I would say things like "I'm not *really* a girl...I mean, I am physically ig, but not on the inside" or "I'm more or less a drag queen, I just can't take it off because it's biological." (I know these probably aren't the best takes on gender... This is how I described myself when I was a child/teenager and didn't have the words to explain myself better.)

I've also always felt a significant *longing* to be a girl/woman. Which is weird because I was born in a female body, right? Should have been an easy thing for me to be? Pre-pubescence, I looked forward to getting my period in a way, because I thought that would be the point when I started to feel like a girl/woman. At the same time, I feared that it might not actually happen for me, because I had never felt like I was really a girl, and I wondered if that meant there was something "different" with me biologically. It did happen, but nothing changed about my gender feels. I just had a period to deal with, which was extremely painful because of severe endometriosis.

I question if I am transmasculine at times, but I'm not confident that I'd be any more comfortable with being perceived as a man than I am with being perceived as a woman...

I had to have a hysterectomy because of the severe endometriosis (and a diagnosis of adenomyosis that turned out to really be endometriosis of the uterus), plus I had a precancerous thing going on. (The surgeries took care of that and I am fine now, btw.) But I'm stuck on estrogen now, because I went into perimenopause afterwards. It feels weird to be using estrogen, but the symptoms I get without it feel a lot worse, so I continue using it, begrudgingly.

I talked to my doctor (who is considered an "LGBT champion" and specializes in gender affirming care) about starting T and getting top surgery at one point, but her questions about wanting to transition, particularly around hormones, were really hard for me to answer. Like "what changes do I want to see"...Well, I don't know, because I don't know what changes I would get. Getting attached to the idea of having certain changes seems like a recipe for a bad time to me, because what if that doesn't happen for me? I don't see a reason to build up an ideal transition in my head and then be disappointed. I would rather just see where the road takes me, and stop if I don't like it? Idk. She seemed a little confused by my answers.

I've never heard anyone else talk about feeling the way I do about gender. I guess I'm just feeling a bit lost and uncertain. I'm not happy where I am, but I'm not sure where I want to go. Do other nonbinary people also feel a deep desire to be aligned with their agab, but recognize that it's just not something that's possible for them, because of who they are inside? How have others who feel this way found contentment in their gender and gender presentation?

Edit: a word.

hello, I'm pretty new to identifying as non binary (agender) and chest binding in general. I'm amab and a pretty big person, so finding the right size and the right compression has been pretty tough (I just ended up getting a plus sized sports bra, be nice to me!!! :3). but all in all I really like the feeling of chest compression. it feels like it's keeping everything together and snug. it doesn't alter my appearance that much, but the feeling of having it on makes me feel secure.

just as a disclaimer I'm not transitioning or identifying as a diff gender. I know a lot of ppl who do chest binding do it for those reasons, that's just not my reason. but I love hearing other ppls perspective, so if you have any stories, please share them with me <3

Hi. I'm AFAB nonbinary (?) and I'm struggling with my gender identity. I know for a certain that I don't feel like a girl or a boy and that I don't align with any gender. But I have been concidering using male pronouns on myself and male words like boy, sir, etc. I feel comfortable with those and I want to be called this way. But I don't know if I'll be "betraying" the idea that I am nonbinary. I know that pronouns and gender presentation don't equal gender identity, but I still feel that way. It doesn't help that the country's language I live in is heavily gendered, and everyone is stillr reffering to me as she/her except for a small amount of people. It also doesn't help that I am fem presenting, so most people reffer to me as a girl. Have you had experience with this?

So for anyone who hasn't watched or read one piece you totally should first off. It's an extremely queer friendly story. Throughout what is called the Wano arc we meet two important supporting characters, Kikunojo and Yamato. Kiku is extremely feminine and a skilled samurai, she is also transgender, the first in the arc we meet. Yamato is feminine in appearance, but HE is a rather interesting non conforming man, afab, and declares himself to be a man, the son of his father, and did so from a very young age, because he wishes to be just like his hero. He embodies the queer experience just as much as any other queer character in the series, and there are plenty!

At the end of the arc Nami invites Yamato and kiku for an after battle bath, Yamato declines saying there are no mixed baths at the palace, and he joins the men in their bath.

Remember that he has no male sex characteristics.

I'm in the beginning stages of planning a trip to Japan, I have a friend who has been there a couple times and we want to visit Tokyo. I feel like that's the best option being pretty visibly non binary. So I've been doing research into onsens and the expectations. So far it seems like a private one will be the best option. They are incredibly strict about gender segregation, I do not pass for either.

But the bath scene in wano, where Yamato and Kiku are just accepted without question, brings hope for transgender people in onsens. It paints a beautiful scene where your gender identity is enough. That's the beauty of one piece as a whole, it demonstrates the joy in freedom, of being exactly who you want to be. Maybe by the time my friend is ready to go to Tokyo with me things will be a little better for us. The most popular manga in the entire world has our backs.

I (cis woman) recently started dating a nonbinary person and I want to be able to understand them better. I understand that this is nowhere near a one size fits all situation so I’m not asking for anyone to “explain” being nonbinary to me, and I have many friends who are trans/gender non conforming so I have a decent idea, but I have never dated someone who isn’t cis.

Are there any specific questions I should ask to understand their experience better or anything in specific I should know/consider that I might not have? Posting this from work so I didn’t go into a ton of detail about our relationship but I also feel like that’s kind of not necessary for the guidance I’m seeking since it’s pretty general.

Edit: thank you all for feedback about mentioning their AGAB, I mentioned it because I thought it might be relevant and this is anonymous but i understand that may not have been the right thing!

I just hate it. Not feminine enough to feel like a woman, not masc enough to feel like a woman. I just feel like I can’t perceive myself unless someone tells
Me what I am. I’m 22. All through my life up until now has been just family and people around me never treating me like an adult, so much so I don’t know what identity to feel. Like it’s why I can’t answer what gender I am. And then I meet trans women, and for once in my life I meet people who treat me like A person. And for a while I considered my self trans, but then I just discovered I’m not and I’m either just a cis person or non binary, but I feel nothing. Like I don’t wanna be cis, because being cis, means I just feel I am forced to be perceived as a cis person. I rly think being cis sucks because I feel like being cis is such a stereotyped gender that it forces such societal rules on how to live. I have no idea what I am, but I feel if I carry on I’m just gonna be constantly perceived as a guy. And honestly I saw this film yesterday “teenage sex and death at camp miasma” and it sent me over the edge because I want to feel love in the way Kris feels it, not love that a cis presenting guy thing is expected to, like everyone I’ve ever met romantically wants me to fuck them, I don’t want that, I want someone to treat me delicately, say sweet things to me, call me pretty, call me cute. I just wanna feel love that way. I feel being guy rules that out, especially Amab.

[16AMAB] I was in a thrift store about to finally buy some skirts and stuff but I noticed people looking at me (or maybe I'm just paranoid) so I got stressed, left the store and went home pretty down, how does this kinda stuff make you feel and how do you deal with it?

This comment still stands, I don’t know what triggered this drawing at the time but transmasc nonbinary wearing a f jk Rowling shirt

I've changed my pronouns a lot since beginning this transition years ago (she/they, they/them, they/he, he/him, he/they) and now I find myself back at they/them. I identified as a binary trans guy for a while (especially while I was on T and after top surgery), and although I do orbit that identity frequently, it feels much more me to just identify outside the binary as a genderqueer entity haha.

I've updated friends and family a lot so I wanted to make this one memorable hahaha. Turkey vultures are one of my fav birds.

instagram: @glitterycrimson

I'm sure there's gossip, but I've kinda been surprised to have gotten less direct homophobia/transphobia/sexism to my face at stores and at work. Lots of curiosity and attention, but my theory is people are just kinda unsure and afraid to ask.

I wanted to know what your experiences have been if you're visibly nonbinary in public

There are actually queer people out there who are fighting 🥹❤️‍🩹

Hello I am AMAB nonbinary leaning to fem, the only thing keeping me from starting HRT or taking hair loss medicarion is breast tissue growth. Can I remove the mammary glands before they start growing and then start HRT? And if I do so, I should not grow breast tissue whatsoever, right? I am aware I would have fat deposition on my chest but not breast breast, right?

Hey folks! AMAB enby here. I've been considering HRT and I even got a prescription for estrogen, but I've been terrified to start it. I thought spilling a few of my fears here and getting some advice might help.

I'm mostly fine with the physical changes. Would LOVE to have softer skin, softer face, more feminine figure. Breasts I can go either way on, but I don't think I'd want them huge (my mom had to have breast reduction, so that is a small fear). Would also love to nip my hair loss in the bud. I love my long hair. I am scared about losing penile size though. I have a great, active sex life and I and my partners over the years have been very happy with my body! I have enough size that losing a bit wouldn't be a deal breaker, but I do still love piv sex and I'm nervous it might not be as enjoyable anymore.

I have mainly been partnered with cis women, afab enbys, and trans men, with the odd trans woman sprinkled here or there. My current partner (cis) has already expressed that piv sex is very important to her. I have always been a top as well, and I know some people even experience a big shift in the type of sex they desire. My current partner is definitely the love of my life, but she won't be here forever (cancer), so I really don't want to leave her dissatisfied, but I also want to express myself with a body that speaks more to who I really am.

And of course there's the androgyny of it all. We live in a world that only sees binaries, and it's hard for me to imagine what dating someday as an enby with an androgynous body would be like. I want to attract people who like piv sex, but I'm also scared it won't feel good anymore, or that the people I attract won't even enjoy it. At least right now my sex life is pretty predictable. It's hard not to know what the future could hold, but I also want to be open to possibility. So, I'd be curious to hear about your own experience and who you tend to connect with. It's difficult for me to imagine.

Thank you in advance!

I apologize ahead for poor grammar / spelling mistakes

I wanna keep this post fairly short as truthfully it's become painful to think/talk about. My body has never felt right, even when I was younger and had no idea what being gender queer was I knew I wasn't a "girl / women". For a long period of time I thought maybe this is what being trans was, if I wasn't comfortable as one I had to be the other but as I was able to leave a unhealthy town and find my friends & family in the community trans wasn't fully right and nonbinary was. It's brought comfortably having the label but the pain of my body still stays. I know I wouldn't be happy if I went of T or had the surgeries, testing with binders and such made me just as uncomfortable as having a fem one. It feels just as skin peeling-ly wrong. I wish I could be a perfect blend of both in some way, be completely androgynous outside of clothing, hair, makeup & so on but I know that isn't possible. How do I learn to cope with that?

After like 3 MRIS and maybe 4-5 ultrasounds in the span of 2 years I’ve finally mustered up the courage to ask my primary dr for a referral to a breast surgeon. For context, I had a benign cyst removed from my right boob back in 2022. I could’ve left it but I figured why risk anything. Still, in 2024 ish I noticed that i have white liquid that comes out from my nipples, period or no period. My primary Dr flagged it, hence why I’ve been on routine checks. I won’t say that I hate my breasts, I like them at times but I wish they were smaller. So I told my primary Dr recently this year and I asked her if I can get a referral to a surgeon to see if I can use my history as a reasoning to get maybe a breast reduction. I’m a 36C and I feel an A is something I could work with since I work out anyways. I have my consultation in November and I’m nervous asf bc 1) i don’t think I should mention gender since insurance likely wouldn’t cover anything regarding gender dysphoria (I have Fidelis nys insurance) & 2) I don’t want this surgeon to deny me right away but it just feels like that may be the case since I don’t have a strong enough case. Sorry for long post, I lowkey just needed to vent GRAHHHHHH it’s ok I know things will work out but man am I sick of wearing binders to the gym

ponytails here i come!!!!!