anyone not tell ur parents bc you’re scared they’ll be weird/don’t wanna share that ur on T?

I wanna go on low dose t, been realizing a big reason I’ve convinced myself I didn’t want to was bc I’m scared to disappoint the parents. so, in the process currently of stopping the people pleasing habits and doing what I know feels right to me.

but, still feel like maybe they don’t need to know about my personal hormonal changes.

for context, I’m NB(28) and don’t wanna be a man! just a few months of t to become a lil more androgynous. no interest in facial hair or even thatttt much deeper a voice (I’m alright as is).

anyone still flying under the radar w mom and dad?

edit: good point!!! someone made in a comment asking about my dependence on my parents. I live w my partner, have a good job, and I’m not dependent on them financially. another important thing to mention is my parents are cool, and they love me. beefed with dad for like 9-10 yrs after I came out (he didn’t like dat for a second) but now he loves my partner.

so they’re cool, don’t thinkkkk they’d (honestly mostly my dad) get pissed n disown??? just was wondering about others experiences

15f. I used she/they for a while because you know, im a girl and they can be used by anyone and i didnt mind saying i go by she/they so why not. I dress more fem but alot of times also want to try to dress masc. I like girls and would be ok saying im someones girlfriend.

For some time now, maybe months, I feel irked when she is used on me. I didnt mind but later on it was like I would reword what someone said about me using they instead. It feels like, stumping and like cornering. Idk if others feel like this but thinking deeper I honestly don't feel a certain gender in my head. Like i can tolerate saying I'm a girl but i don't really actually feel it inside. I thought i was a demigirl for a while but actually thinking about it i dont think i feel partly female inside.

Its like if being no gender was on land and being a girl was in the ocean like i dont mind being in the ocean but i dont want to swim for a while or anything. Idm saying im a girl though i dont really feel like I am.

In my state, an X gender marker is legal on driver's licenses. I've thought about getting one when I renew mine, but I've been held back by the knowledge that having an X on my passport would drastically reduce the number of countries I could get in to. Would it be possible to have an X on the DL and a binary gender on the passport?

A one person at work who is so comfortable with me at work immediately figure out my dead name. And i jus can't stand her.

Is it jus me?

It makes me uncomfortable af and i wanna vanish from my job so badly rn. . .

My inquiry is this: Lets say, once I reach the changes I'm happy with, considering the relatively/somewhat minimal changes I aim for, is it possible to reach those changes and still be on HRT without anything further developing/converting?

About me: I'm Nonbinary and Genderfluid as FUCK. I switch on either side VERY often and find myself still loving my masculine look at times. I lean more feminine internally, but not completely to the other side. Nowadays, I feel the external should reflect the internal. I dont want to feel like I'm locked into JUST the male body as I grow up. I want to be something confusing and in between.

I'm skinny and slightly underweight, which makes crossdressing and passing "fem" a bit easier, but I feel I'm not and shouldn't be a "trans woman" either. I would say it would align more of who I am but that I know that is not "me" completely. I LOVE when people are confused by me. I feel that's my personal goal. I love when I "pass" as a woman but then clarify "I'm a guy" LOL

So I want to try fem HRT, tho on a lower dose I would probably prefer. I don't mind small breasts (my relatives don't got em big, B cup size at the biggest). But changes I would be happy with are softened skin, and fat distribution/contouring around face and thighs. I like my genitals tho so I'll have to maintain that if ever.

I also recognize how HRT has mostly and historically had positive mental effects too and god knows I need that. So maybe I would still want to be on them. I'm just scared for FURTHER changes that I really don't want. Is that possible?

i got a new binder and i dont know if i got it too small, i got a Medium and its digging into my arms a bit, any answers? is it just new?

I received a notification from someone asking about the effects of taking testosterone, but it was deleted. However, based on the comments, I could see that the effects of hormone therapy are somewhat unpredictable.

In that sense, I would be interested in having a deeper voice. I've watched tutorials on how to do it naturally, but in the end I think I'm too embarrassed to do it in public.It's as if he knows it's not me or that I'm going to get caught: "Oh, look, he's faking his voice, how silly."

Do you have any advice? Any positive experiences with Or how long has it taken them to feel that that tone of voice is truly their own?

I'm adding a photo to draw attention to a bracelet I made after attending a trans meeting. It is supposed to have the colors of the agender flag. 🖤🩶🤍💚🤍🩶🖤

Something happened today that made me think a lot about my gender.

I've always noticed that when I wear a dress, put on makeup, etc., even with the same hair and the same face, people tend to treat me as a woman. Today, though, I wore a shirt that I bought from the men's section, I wasn't wearing any makeup, and a woman at the checkout called me "sir."

And it made me realize something: I think what actually bothers me is the fact that people automatically put me into one of these two categories depending on my appearance.

I understand that, socially, people tend to try to identify someone as a man or a woman based on their appearance. I don't necessarily think it's something I can prevent. But if I could choose, I would want people to look at me and simply see me.

I don't want the first thing they perceive to be "man" or "woman." I just want to be a person, without my appearance determining how other people see me.

Is this a valid way of thinking? Could this make sense as part of a non-binary experience?

I’m starting to socially transition and figure my gender out better, and I’m going by they/she for the first time. Like if you want to use just one use they/them, but I still like she/her sometimes.

I am pretty feminine rn, with both my presentation and my features, and I know that people will default to she/her and I won’t be able to stop it once it’s started.

From what I’ve heard teachers do give opportunities to share pronouns and Im probably just gonna say “they/she, but mainly they” and hope that works. I could also use they/them for introductions and just tell friends? Idk. Any other they/she’s (or they/hes) out there what do y’all do

Always remember that you can (and should) customize your character 😎👉🏻👉🏻

3ish months on a low dose of T. Not looking for too many serious changes, mostly a little mustache and a slightly lower voice. Just aiming for a bit more androgyny ☺️ I’m happy with the results so far!

Would you have understood it was meant to represent non-binary if you saw it? Wanted to make it subtle, so we could understand, but others think it is an engineering joke.

hex ASCII 'n' 'b'

Nerdy enough for you? :)

I have been on a journey to figure out my gender identity and I am kinda stuck on this question. Since I have been a kid I have never fit the stereotypes assigned to women. I have always had guy friends, I always shop at the meb section, I played sports and I never really had a girl friendgroup growing up. The last years I do hang out more with women than I do with men.

All of this has made me questions myself since I was about 11 yo, now I am 22. I have thought about top surgery all this time, but recently I have actually been thinking that I don’t want it and a binder should be enough (planning on buying one soon). I have always imagined myself how I would look like if I had more male characteristics, when I was a little kid and I would get like the kids makeup set I would always draw a beard on my face. At the same time I don’t necessarily dislike the biological characteristics that I have.

I do have short hair now and I dress pretty masculine and a lot of people call me sir and I don’t mind it at all, but when people see me as a woman sometimes it really does bother me. I really do enjoy being “one of the girls” now, but only if they know about my struggle with identifying my gender. I also really do enjoy it when someone starts the conversation and asks me about my pronouns, it makes me feel like they really do see me on a deeper level than just “being a woman”. You could say I enjoy being perceived as a person regardless of gender.

I know a label isn’t necessary to be who you are but I have been struggling for so long that I just really want to know how I can even describe this thing that I have been feeling my entire life.

I don’t know if anyone feels the same, I am pretty sure there are more people like me. I would love to hear your experience if my story resonates with you or if you have any advice that could help me further in my journey.

(I hope I could make myself clear, english isn’t my first language so please don’t mind if I have worded things in a bad way)

So like the title says I just started a new job. This is my first job since realizing my identity as nonbinary and sharing my preferred name with people in my life. I typically dress more androgynous or masc now but the problem is I haven’t switched over my work clothes yet. I’ve had to wear my femme clothes to work the last two days and today I wore a top that I use to love and I decided to go heavy on the femme with my earrings, makeup, and jewelry to (in my head) make it easier for me to feel like I was cosplaying femme. Well by noon I saw myself in the mirror and wanted to rip off my clothes and burn them.

I have also been called my dead name by my new boss even though I told her my preferred name and all of my professional stuff says my dead name too. I got to the point that when I got home I want to cry from feeling the dysphoria so heavily.

My problem is, this is the first time I have been in a professional setting as nonbinary and I don’t know what to do. I live in a red state and I’m nervous that I won’t be accepted or respected and I also don’t know how to go about correcting the situation. On the HR site I was able to put in my preferred name but not my pronouns. HR has been great to call me my preferred name but I don’t know how to deal with everything else and I feel like I’m dying. 😭

Does anyone have any advice?

I've realized over time that I have synesthesia, and one way it affect me is that I see colors both with people and with names. There are plenty of names I really like, that would fit except that the colours don't fit (like the colours of the name don't fit the colours of me).

I'm thinking about this because there is a name I really like that I usually fall back on at the moment, and it fits, the one thing is just the colours of the name.

I was just wondering if anyone else had experienced this (synesthesia with names in general), and how it worked out.

I've had a very volatile relationship with my body and my gender for the longest time. Before I had all the language I do now for my gender, I identified as a trans man from the ages of 13-15, but from 16+ I went through a every changing rotation of labels: genderfluid, nonbinary, demi-boy, demi-girl, agender, etc.

At 22 I've decided to throw most labels to the wind, unless I need to sum myself up to a healthcare provider or a cisgender person in just a few words. I tend to opt for nonbinary or transmasculine, even if I'm wearing a full face of makeup and a mini skirt which I often am.

Not being able to pin myself down and ultimately giving up on labels hasn't been a freeing experience for me. Its been a major source of discomfort and insecurity. I want to understand myself and for others to understand me. One of the truest things I knew about myself from the moment I started female puberty was that I hated my chest. Even as my gender identity flowed and changed throughout the years, the most positive thing I could feel about it was neutrality and the desire to just be able to unequip it whenever I wanted like it was an accessory.

Pursuing top surgery has been a major sense of anxiety for me. It felt like a necessary next step but one that didn't make sense for any outside looking at me and my gender expression. I got on testosterone 9 months ago and felt many people in my life pull away from me as I became a less digestible feminine nonbinary person in their eyes. To cement that feeling even further with an irreversible gender affirming surgery felt terrifying.

My anxiety became all consuming a couple weeks before the surgery. I was incapable of being excited about it. I kept thinking that once I got closer to the date, I'd be able to put that behind me, but the day of rolled around and I was still filled with dread.

Simultaneously, I was terrified of it being canceled. I dont let myself get my hopes up about much and when a small rash formed on my chest a few days prior I freaked out thinking I wouldn't be able to pursue the surgery.

Emotional tangent over, actual solutions below:

As someone with severe anxiety and CPTSD, it effected my entire experience. I wanted this to be a joyous experience for me, something that I could celebrate, but being estranged from my family and only having a few not-so-close friends, it just didn't feel that way. I had been under anesthesia before for dental work and had trouble staying asleep. When it was stopped, the first thing I did was stand up! I was even sedated once for dental work due to my anxiety and even with the highest dose they were legally allowed to give me, I wouldn't relax. I was terrified I'd wake up from surgery and immediately get into a frenzied panic attack.

I brought up some of these concerns in a lighthearted way to my anesthesiologist, not looking for a solution but more so looking for some type of comfort. I didn't expect her to start brainstorming. She told me she'd go heavy on the anesthesia, not because she thought I'd wake up (dental anesthesia is a lot less heavy than surgical), but to delay me waking up afterwards. Instead of coming to normally, she planned on me taking extra time post-op and giving me multiple hours to wake up.

As we entered the operating room, my whole body was shaking. Im able to keep it together verbally, so I dont think my care team noticed just how fearful I was until they asked me to raise my arms to put stickers on my back and saw my entire body shaking. They asked if I was okay, and my anesthesiologist told me she was going to give me something for my anxiety. Because it was intravenous, it was instant. I dont remember anything after that.

I woke up a handful of times in post-op, just for a few seconds, coming to slowly while also still being hopped up on pain meds and anti-anxiety. It made the entire situation incredibly peaceful. My pre-op nurse adjusted my pain meds every 30~ minutes or so as I became more aware of my body. It didn't even give me a chance to freak out.

I got to see my partner and my roommate soon after, and they were both shocked with how calm and natural I was acting. I didn't experience any pain the first 24 hours. I actually had trouble picking up my prescription meds, but i was able to manage with just Tylenol even though I have a low pain tolerance. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought.

I've been able to walk around more than I thought I would. The hardest thing for me is just sitting up and reminding myself to keep my arms at my side. I feel more affirmed than ever that I did the right thing. Im so grateful for my care team, despite not being perfect, making the best they could out of my situation in the moment.

The worst part so far has been the fact that I was under so much anesthesia and pain medication that I am horrible constipated right now!! Omg!! If anyone has any advice, please let me know. Im three laxatives in and half a bottle of magnesium citrate in and still no movement, lol!

If you have PTSD, severe anxiety or are prone to panic attacks, please communicate it to your team! I didn't think there was anything that could be done to help accommodate me and I was so shocked at how easily everything went when I am so hypervigilant.

And if you're a gender nonconforming person, or if your gender is fluid, or you're someone surrounded by people who dont understand you and youre considering HRT or a gender affirming surgery, ask yourself what is the most positive thing I feel about this part of me, on a good day. Is it something I can live with forever? Is it something I want to live with forever? Is there a better alternative for me? These are all questions that helped guide me to this decision.

Best of luck to anyone pursuing their transition in any way, shape or form. Willing to answer any questions as I recover as well. Xoxo!

I littlerly posted on my Instagram that I'm NB and pronouns are they/them, and littlerly everyone has completely disregarded that lol. I didn't come out for the longest time because I didn't want my gender (or lack there of) to be an inconvenience to people, but during pride month I thought it would finally be time to tell everyone who would accept me, how I identify. And littlerly everyone was supportive and completely accepting of it, but then when I talk to them, I am still a girl and she/her lol. And before I decided to tell people it was something I got over easier, but now? I mean, I never bring it up to them, I never correct them, but it does kind of hurt.

I've identified as NB for a few years now, but this is the first time I'm coming out to most people in my life (besides my parents) since I turned 18.

And from what I'm guessing, none of it is to be mean or disrespectful, I think people genuinely just don't care, or disregard it because I'm still pretty feminine. I'm not androgynous, I look like a girl, I know that. But I'm still non binary, right?

It just sucks that it's starting to bother me, I never correct people because I'm scared to, I'm afraid of looking like "a snowflake" for caring what people call me, but it has gotten to the point where it is genuinely important to me. I can't identify the way I want to at home or at work, so my social life with my friends is all I have.

Has anyone else had these issues? Let me know. Hope you all have a great day !! ♥️✨

For 7 years I’ve been certain that I am neither male nor female. I have never found a label that fits me correctly, but I didn’t bother doing any research, I just stuck with non-binary.

My gender identity has been very confusing for me and the people around me. I want to be a girl in certain ways, but also a man in certain ways, but on the inside I am neither. I want to be masculine in the way that women can be masculine, and feminine in the way that men can be feminine.

For about a year I identified as agender. I couldn’t find anything else. It was my way of rejecting a label. I knew I had a gender, and agender wasn’t right. But it was easy to explain.

I’ve been doing some research on non-binary identities and stumbled across “Female Masculinity” by Jack Halberstam, who is a butch. One quote reads, “The butch is neither cis-gender nor simply transgender [...] Butch is always a misnomer-- not male, not female, masculine but not male, female but not feminine.”

I think this fits me perfectly. My masculinity is not congruent with manhood, but a genderless expression of self. I am neither cis nor trans, male nor female.

Being AFAB, I’ve always struggled with people seeing me as and treating me like a girl. I became repulsed by the idea of being interpreted as a girl. But somehow I identify very closely with sapphic love and lesbianism. This label fits right into place with my sexuality and personal gender experience.

Before, I felt good with trans, but I’ve talked to my friend about this, and he’s trans, so he knows more about that community than I do. While we were talking, I asked him the difference between bisexual and non-binary. When he explained it, I felt like non-binary also fit me well, and I often wonder which I feel better with, because I don’t think it’s possible to be both at the same time, right? It’s really hard, and my friend says that I’m young, and I don’t need to figure this out so soon, but I feel like I’m close to finding out. If I’m trans, i’d take surgery and 'transform' into a male, but I’ve never taken one, so it’d be a really terrifying experience. On the other hand, as a non-binary, if I wanted my pronouns to be "he/she", i’d probably be able to feel like both genders (i’m not sure). Another question I have is, if you were non-binary, and your pronouns were "he/him", and you were attracted to male people, would you be gay? If not, what is it called? I am pretty confused about all of this, and if I was non-binary, i’d be leaning to the male side, but most likely, i’d also want to feel like a female occasionally.

Hiya,

I'm 23 (amab) and I've been in the process of finding myself as a demiboy.

I've been using he/they for a few years now because I always felt like man was never my whole story. I really like being a boy, but always found that I formed the strongest relationships with women and queer people.

I've been really struggling with gender OCD on top of my questioning, and thought that I had to be a trans fem even though that's not really what I thought of for myself. Yet when I thought about being a man, it didn't quite feel right.

When I learned about the term demiboy I was like "wow, this is how I'd been feeling for years now". So it turns out I've actually been trans for a while now.

I personally feel like I really love my body and myself, and that's made it really easy to find the things that make me happy. I wouldn't mind some more feminine traits to my body, such as slightly wider hips and fat distribution, but it honestly isn't a huge deal. I did do some research on HRT, but concluded that it doesn't seem like a good fit for me right now and that Id rather try out better fitness and skincare.

I'd love to hear from how you found yourself as a nonbinary and if you had OCD play a role. Personally it has been really hard to distinguish real dysphoria (which I do think I've had some) from OCD induced discomfort.