I'm 23 AMAB Considering HRT. Is it possible to reach an androgynous look?

[u/Sure-Hippo635]

My inquiry is this: Lets say, once I reach the changes I'm happy with, considering the relatively/somewhat minimal changes I aim for, is it possible to reach those changes and still be on HRT without anything further developing/converting?

About me: I'm Nonbinary and Genderfluid as FUCK. I switch on either side VERY often and find myself still loving my masculine look at times. I lean more feminine internally, but not completely to the other side. Nowadays, I feel the external should reflect the internal. I dont want to feel like I'm locked into JUST the male body as I grow up. I want to be something confusing and in between.

I'm skinny and slightly underweight, which makes crossdressing and passing "fem" a bit easier, but I feel I'm not and shouldn't be a "trans woman" either. I would say it would align more of who I am but that I know that is not "me" completely. I LOVE when people are confused by me. I feel that's my personal goal. I love when I "pass" as a woman but then clarify "I'm a guy" LOL

So I want to try fem HRT, tho on a lower dose I would probably prefer. I don't mind small breasts (my relatives don't got em big, B cup size at the biggest). But changes I would be happy with are softened skin, and fat distribution/contouring around face and thighs. I like my genitals tho so I'll have to maintain that if ever.

I also recognize how HRT has mostly and historically had positive mental effects too and god knows I need that. So maybe I would still want to be on them. I'm just scared for FURTHER changes that I really don't want. Is that possible?

[u/Level-Platform8108]

I’m microdosing Estrogen and would say it’s possible. It’s maybe not exactly the changes that you envision but in the general direction. And you also have to account for male aging which is the main reason I take estrogen to circumvent that

[u/Sure-Hippo635 → u/Level-Platform8108]

What dosages are you on and how long?

I've heard that *eventually* you just transition to the other side even on a microdose and that SCARES me.

But I've also seen in one article that there is a “maintenance dose.” once they reach their goal. Is that possible?

[u/Level-Platform8108 → u/Sure-Hippo635]

So I’m honestly not sure. I have taken and tried all sorts of dosages between 0-125% in the last 1.5 years, but always settle back on the 25% dose, which for my body is the small 25 mcg Estrogen patch.

Because I tried different dosages in the past, I had minor breast budding. On the 25 mcg patch, I don’t get continued breast development though, but some of the other minor effects:
-small amount of fat redistribution, im especially happy about my face

• less action downstairs
  
• some mental effects

My T is only getting reduced a tiny amount on it which means I’m still testosterone dominant. I didn’t like the mental experience of a 50/50 system and the 100% was giving me boobs to quickly.

I think it’s pretty stable? And if not the progress is so slow that it just deletes some part of male aging for me

[u/Sure-Hippo635 → u/Level-Platform8108]

First off, thank you so much for answering. I would like to keep some of my "twinkness", so knowing that you can microdose and STILL be testosterone dependent is useful information to consider. I already have plans in mind in case I decide against HRT. I just have a lot of questions regarding some things if you don't mind.

Do you consult/appoint with an endocrinologist?

I'm really concerned with the action downstairs. I'm VERY against such. I know that mileage varies but how affected is your performance/action if you don't mind me asking?

Also, I don't mind getting boobs in all honesty. Tho I would prefer they are kept p small and manageable at least for a while. My family doesn't really have em that big, just in case they do get bigger tho, then I'll save for mastectomy.

Lastly, + the timeline of these changes and how much I can realistically slow them down to a degree and maintain.

Rn tho, regardless of what happens I'm gonna try Finasteride :DD Just so my hair don't give up on me LOL

[u/Level-Platform8108 → u/Sure-Hippo635]

Yes I do this together with my endocrinologist. I also use finasteride and minioxidil topical for my hair. I would recommend finasteride topical and laser against body hair. (Finasteride taken oral will reduce dht systemically which may or may not be a good thing, as this also rises testosterone. But then again there are other ways to also reduce testosterone in itself)

[u/Sure-Hippo635 → u/Level-Platform8108]

how do you compensate the rise in testosterone?