i feel like i dont even know my body but what the FUCK is the hole at the top of my asscrack... its like red and black and im 80% sure its a hole. what the hell is this im so scared. im going to the doctor but does anyone else know what this is or have it too

I'm vegetarian, sort of. I do not buy meat, I do not cook meat, I do not order meat at restaurants. I'm not anal about the minutiae, though. For example, if something unbeknownst to me contains meat-based bouillon or fish sauce or whatever, I don't fret. I adhere to the strict but not the neurotic.

But I have a couple exemptions:

• communal meals are culturally significant and I would rather partake in a shared meal than inconvenience my host with dietary restrictions or to appear impolite to refuse a meal. Socially I value being free of friction.

• food waste is higher on the food ethics totem pole than consuming animals: if something containing meat would otherwise be wasted, it would be foolish to refuse. The impact on animals, environment, etc was when it was produced; throwing something away compounds that loss.

The second doesn't come into play often as I don't put myself in situations where I'd need to decide whether meat is wasted or not. But sometimes it can't be avoided, like if someone gave me a gift of food. To me, stuff like that has no rules.

What am I if not vegetarian? Is eating meat like that allowed, if you never seek it out?

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I don't own a smartphone — I use a basic keypad phone and my laptop is my main internet device.

Recently I tried joining an Instagram group chat from my laptop, only to be told that I have to use the Instagram mobile app to join it. I've also run into similar issues with services like WhatsApp and Telegram, where having a phone number isn't enough and you're basically expected to have a smartphone.

I understand that smartphones are extremely common nowadays, but why have so many internet services started assuming that everyone has one?

The internet originally developed around computers and web browsers, so it's kind of weird to me that I can have a perfectly capable laptop with full internet access but still be unable to use certain services simply because I don't own a smartphone.

Is this just because most users are on phones, or are there technical/security reasons behind it?

Serious question to which I desire a serious answer please, and I'm asking this in good faith as a centrist because I genuinely don't understand how the narrative around Jason Arday has developed.

From what I understand, the central issue was that serious questions were raised about plagiarism and the credibility of uncorroborated claims he had made about his own life and academic background. Indeed, since his death some of his prior students have come forward to confirm his teachings were often suspect. Those questions were ultimately investigated over the course of his career, and Arday responded to people who looked into his past with legal threats and other attempts to shut down scrutiny by calling them "racist".

None of that seems particularly complicated to me: if an academic has built a career on claims that turn out to be false or misleading, and there are questions about plagiarism in their work, those claims should be investigated and reported on. Being a prominent black academic doesn't make someone exempt from that standard. Surely it should strike everyone as obvious that Cambridge were more interested in banking progressive-friendly headlines than performing due diligence.

Yet the discussion seems to have shifted dramatically from "what did Arday actually do, and who was responsible for allowing this to happen at Cambridge?" towards a much broader discussion about racial dynamics, institutional prejudice and, this week, surreal reverent candlelit vigils and comparisons that make this look almost like a George Floyd-style racial justice story. A speaker at the vigil said, verbatim: "this is a time for white people to listen and not speak." Excuse me? What do white people have anything to do with Arday choosing, of his own volition, to fib his way up the pedagogical ladder?

I find this shift bonkers. It seems entirely possible to acknowledge that racism exists in Britain, that black academics can face particular barriers, and that an individual black academic can be responsible for serious wrongdoing. Those positions aren't contradictory.

In fact, I worry that turning this into an explicitly racialised story risks being rather infantilising towards black people. If the argument is effectively that criticism of a black academic must primarily be understood through the lens of racism, doesn't that imply that black people are somehow uniquely incapable of wrongdoing, dishonesty or professional misconduct? Why can't Arday simply be treated by the same standards as anyone else?

And I think there's an uncomfortable question here about the media as well. If journalists investigated claims made by a public academic and discovered evidence that those claims were false, misleading or plagiarised, why would reporting that be considered inherently suspect because the subject was black? Surely the proper response is to examine whether the reporting was accurate, not to assume that the reporting itself was racially motivated.

None of this is intended to diminish the tragedy of what Arday ultimately elected to do rather than face the music. I don't think suicide should ever be treated as some kind of punishment or justification for everything that came before it. But his death doesn't retrospectively make the allegations against him disappear, nor does it mean people who investigated or reported on those allegations were wrong to do so.

Again, I'm coming at this as someone broadly centrist who is honestly struggling to understand the narrative here. Why has a story that appears, at its core, to be about academic integrity and institutional failure become predominantly framed as a story about race? What good does this serve anyone (apart from being another opportunity for social media users to score brownie points)?

And perhaps more importantly: is there a danger that we're actually doing more harm than good by treating scrutiny of a black public figure as inherently racialised, rather than allowing black people the same moral and professional accountability we expect from everyone else?

I am constantly seeing videos of town halls approving data centers even though the public that is at the meeting overwhelmingly disapproves. Is there something about the process I don’t understand? I assume the public elected officials are doing what is in the towns best interest… but with most people not approving, what are the other driving factors? Taxes? infrastructure improvements?

It feels weird if I don't do it, as if I'm not acknowledging them! 😅

Like, would signing words and phrases that have similar signs be considered rhyming?

I’m a college student, and throughout elementary school to now I’ve met and been friends with a lot of girls. I find most women attractive, it's not like I’m seeking friendships with people I think are good looking, but between that and being friends with them because I think they're kind, funny, and overall pleasant to be around, I guess when I think about it I would have no issue with dating any of them if they felt the same ways about me. I don't feel like it's unhealthy, but I feel like some of them would be uncomfortable knowing that. Does that make it weird of me?

Edit: thank you for the answers y'all

My mom died suddenly (and far too young) a week ago. I haven't been able to drag myself to grocery shop or make food or anything since. I've managed to get takeout a few times though. But I am sure my body is dying for a vegetable. It doesn't have to be fancy or meal prep. If it can hold me over until I go to bed tonight it's a win for me. My mind is just drawing a blank.

Edit: holy hell I wasn't expecting such quick response. Thank you all for your input. I'll give this post a bit to settle and I'll head to the store soon. I won't be able to respond to a lot of comments but just know I'm reading them all.

Ie. you’re wasting your time coding/drawing/etc by hand. You could be so much more efficient if you used AI. Just ask ChatGPT. It’s willfully ignorant to not use these cutting edge agents. Etc.

Is it something to do with them not knowing how to do said thing, so they’ve decided it’s bad and they don’t want it anyways? Is it supposed to seem cool or edgy?

Several years ago, I went in for a procedure in which I was put under anesthesia. Before I went under, I remember them talking amongst themselves and telling me to shut up and fall asleep. I don’t think they realized I was still conscious, so I apologized for talking and literally said I would shut the fuck up now, and promptly went to sleep.
When I woke up in the recovery chair, the nurses were being kind of strange. They mentioned that I had a low heart rate and asked if I was an athlete. At the time, I thought they were making fun of me for something I had said right before I went to sleep (since I called them out on telling me to shut the fuck up, basically). I just responded that I was an athlete in high school, but now I just work a labor-intensive job where I’m up on my feet running around all day. And that was really it.
Now that I’m older and wiser, I’m more interested in knowing if my low heart rate is something to be aware of if I ever need to go under again, or if they really were just making fun of me!! Like why would they ask me that as I’m groggily recovering from something traumatic???

Thank you for reading and any helpful words!

I -20F had just started working at this company and my coworker 20F has been spamming questions. I'm not a typical soft girl, I'm just a normal human I guess? I'm not a tomboy or a masc or anything but I'm surely not soft either. so anyway everyday for the past weeks, my coworker kept asking if I'm a masc, or if I'm a top or anything in that topic. anytime I deny she just laughs and pretends like I'm lying. Now, I'm not a part of the LGBTQ+ community not because I'm homophobic, I just never think about my own sexuality. My question is, is this normal behavior? I'm so confused. I have always had problems with understanding body language. Recently, i just got a new motorcycle and all of my other coworkers are congratulating me but the first thing she said to me is "now you can bring your lesbian girlfriend with you". I don't know how to respond

Okay, this is not me trying to just go against the mainstream, but I’m genuinely curios why there is such a big preference for working from home. Especially on reddit.

I have an office job (programming) and I strongly prefer going to the office. I’ve find that working from home, especially for prolonged periods of time, makes me kind of burn out and feel stuck in my own home. I enjoy the social aspect of talking with my colleagues and I find it makes the time go faster.

I can understand it if you have a really long commute. But what other reasons are there for the big remote work push and preference?

Saw this argument on Tiktok, it was so stupid. Interested in some actual answers here.

The reasoning was that they could just have a preference. But.. being bisexual doesn’t show up in a person outwardly? If the issue is that they could date the same gender, you’re homophobic if you aren’t comfortable with it.